


Finding Her

by Lola_Bear



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Childhood Friends, Choices, Crafts, Crossdressing, Developing Relationship, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Genderfluid, Growing Up, Masturbation, Mother-Son Relationship, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Original Fiction, Relationship(s), School, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shopping, Slice of Life, Social Anxiety, Squirting, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 58
Words: 140,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25242316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola_Bear/pseuds/Lola_Bear
Summary: Henry recounts his journey of gender dysphoria.  He recalls many life defining moments that not only guided his sexual preferences, but also how he views himself as a person.  This slice of life tale explores the early years of a crossdresser to demonstrate just how human he is and the issues he needs to come to grips with.
Relationships: Original Character(s) & Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	1. Another Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> Some chapters of this story will contain sexual content involving an underaged fictional character. These moments are not the focus of the story, but rather examples of key points that shape the character’s understanding and perception of both gender and sexuality. The most explicit sexual scenes occur in later chapters when the character is of legal age.
> 
> Keep in mind, this story is meant to be a fictional representation of someone who struggles with their gender and sexual identity as a consequence. I try to address this in the most respectful way possible while still keeping it realistic. If you are triggered by such content, I urge you to find safer material to read.

I can’t fully recall my first experience crossdressing, just that it happened when I was still fairly young. I vaguely recall playing in a basket of freshly laundered clothes. The scent and warmth lured me in with a sense of comfort. So naturally, I buried my most-likely dirty little self among the fabrics.

It was in this moment I noticed a different texture among the cotton blends I was used to. As you can imagine, the novelty of a new sensory experience was intoxicating. As a child, I had no concept of the social stigmas that surrounded wearing clothes of the opposite gender. Therefore, I was not at all embarrassed to take this new silky material and stick it straight on my head. This was then followed by adding a towel as a cape and running all around the house in my latest superhero costume.

That is indeed how my mom found me, with a royal blue bath towel and a pair of her silky blue panties on my head. Looking back now, it was to my great relief that she didn’t fill me with shame or even scold me. Rather she complimented me on being able to color coordinate my mask and cape so well. Of course, after I made this a regular habit, she eventually had to explain things to me.

“Now Henry, this is not a mask.” She held up a pair of lacy red bikini briefs. “These are actually underwear.”

Studying them closely, I commented, “They don’t look like my underwear.” There was a definite dubious note in my voice.

“Well, no,” she admitted, “that’s because these are mommy’s. And yours are for Henry.” Pulling the latest basket of laundry over, she fished out a pair of my own briefs. “See, your underwear has an opening in the front to help you use the bathroom. You know, like when you need to wee.”

Cocking my head to one side, I had issues with this argument. “But why don’t you have an opening in yours? Don’t you need to wee?”

My mom’s mouth opened and closed without a sound. I’m guessing she was weighing whether or not to explain to me about boys and girls. Finally she managed, “Mommy is shaped differently then you. So our underwear has to be different shapes.”

This conversation would have probably gone a lot smoother if there had been a father figure in my life. Unfortunately, he had passed away when I was one. Therefore, my home lacked anyone else for my mom to use as an example. I think if she could have just pulled out my dad’s underwear, it might have satiated my young curiosity. As it was, I continued to be obstinate.

“But your underwear feels nicer,” this last included a protruding lower lip on my part.

Lowering her head, she blew out a breath. I imagine she was now faced with an interesting dilemma. She could continue insisting how boys and girls are different to a child that may not quite be ready, or turn this into a learning experience. She chose the latter. Looking up, she stared straight into my eyes. “You are absolutely right, my love. So how about the next time we go to the store, we get you some panties just like mommy?”

The word panties was new to me. In retrospect, I think it was my mom’s goal to naturally establish gender roles for myself. In this case, to reject calling underwear panties. Instead I asked, “What are panties?”

My mom’s smile was gentle. “It’s what women and girls call their underwear.”

As strange as it sounds, this made sense to me. I knew a number of girls in my neighborhood and they did talk different. My mom was trying to teach me a new language. Being her smart little man, I wanted to show her that I was up to this linguistic challenge. Nodding with sage understanding, I replied, “Okay, then we’ll go get panties.”


	2. What We Wear

Growing up, my mom was a seamstress. Fortunately, she was popular enough that she could work from home. This really helped her out financially since she didn’t have to pay for day care. With all the fabric in the house, you’d think I wouldn’t have been so mesmerized by a pair of panties in the laundry. The truth is that, since sewing was my mom’s livelihood and a five-year-old is a natural agent of chaos, I was not allowed into her work room.

Though thinking about it, I did see my mom interacting with her customers a lot. One common topic was always the quality of the cloth. I guess I subconsciously internalized this fact even at such a young age. Perhaps it was just my attempt to relate. At any case, it led us to the store.

Now you would think being a seamstress, my mom could save a fortune on clothes, but she told me later in life there were two reasons why she didn’t mind shopping. First, it was some of the only times she got to research the competition, as she put it. Seeing new trends made it much easier to talk to her customers. If they asked for a top with a pleated bottom edge or scalloping along certain hem lines, she could envision it since it was something she saw at the store. The second reason was for the socializing.

Being a work-at-home single mother didn’t give her much time with others her own age. For that matter, my social circle was limited to whatever neighborhood kids were in the area. Needless to say, we were both excited to get out of the house. For all I knew, it was probably this lack of socializing that prevented me from picking up on the clues my mom was trying to hint at when she used words like panties. That was all about to change when I started school, but I am getting ahead of myself.

We lived in the suburbs, so going to a department store meant a trip to the city. It was always a treat for me back then as the buildings became so tall that I couldn’t see the top of them from my car seat. People were everywhere I looked with bright signs and all kinds of things displayed in the windows.

Stopping in the parking lot of one of our regular shops, mom unbuckled me and stood me outside the car. I recall seeing an old cup from a fast-food chain standing upright near the front of the vehicle. Wandering over, I picked it up and turned to show it to my mom.

“Look mom! Someone left a soda here!” I’m not sure why this memory sticks out in my mind with such vivid clarity.

Seeing the cup in my hand, she slapped it away. “Henry! That’s garbage. You shouldn’t be picking things up off the ground.” Digging in her purse, she pulled out a wipe and began scrubbing my hands with it.

Looking around, I noticed for the first time just how much garbage there really was. Plastic bags and scraps of paper littered the entire parking lot. Now I knew if you had garbage then you had to throw it away, otherwise you got in trouble. Did this mean there were a lot of people in trouble?

“Mom? Why is there so much trash everywhere?” I flung out my hand to encompass the parking lot.

Turning her head to see what I was talking about, her face grew sad and she sighed. “Because people just don’t care.”

This was not the answer I was expecting. “So, if you care, then you don’t throw trash on the ground?”

Biting her lip she gave a thoughtful expression. “Not exactly. I think it is better to say, if you care about something then you will act on what you believe to be right. Like I care about you mister.” She reached out and tapped me on the nose. “That’s why I am going to do what I believe is best for you.”

Smiling, I took her hand when she held it out and we walked into the store together. To be perfectly honest, I think I had totally forgotten about buying me panties until we stopped at an unusual spot in the store.

Looking down she asked, “Now you sure you want some panties?” She tilted her head over to one side of the aisle.

In that direction was a sea of pastels. Pinks and purples filled the racks. Lacy dresses and patterns with butterflies, unicorns, and the occasional princess stared back at me. Turning back to my mom, I studied her face.

Her serious expression made me pause. If I didn’t know better I’d say she cared greatly about these panties. And if she could do what was best for me then I could do the same for her. Without saying a word, I nodded my head.

With a sharp nod of her own, she took a deep breath and led me into the girl’s clothing section. Unlike the boys area, this seemed more complicated. There were more styles and colors than what I was used to seeing. And then we made it to the back wall.

Now I knew underwear came in two types. You could get the ones with cartoon characters or the ones in white. What I saw before me was not two options. Sure, there were some cartoon characters off to one side and even a few white, but even the most basic ones had all kinds of other colors.

Reaching out, I wanted to see how different they felt. And with that touch, all my forgotten amazement came rushing back. Even some of these felt different than what my mom’s underwear felt like.

Pulling them off their hooks I pressed the material to feel the softness against my face. Throwing one pack down, I reached for another trying to find my favorite.

“Henry!” My mom hissed. “Just touch with your hands.” She looked around making sure no one else could see as she picked up the packages I dropped.

Seeing the panties on the floor reminded me of the parking lot and all the garbage. I didn’t want to be someone who didn’t care. Bending down, I not only helped my mother pick up the ones I had thrown to the ground, but I also began gathering all the other panties that were left lying and forgotten.

“Oh my, isn’t he helpful?” A woman’s voice I didn’t recognize commented. Raising my head, I spotted a sales associate talking to my mom.

For some reason, my mom had turned a bright shade of red. Agreeing with the woman she mumbled, “He sure is.”

I held up the last package since I couldn’t reach where it went. 

Taking it from me, she stated, “looks like that’s the type your sister likes, Henry. Now come on let’s finish our shopping.”

I wanted to ask about the sister I didn’t know about, but she didn’t give me a chance as we rushed from the department.

“Bye Henry!” the sales associate called, “You can come back any time to help me clean up my section.”

I only managed a short wave before we were out of sight. We then proceeded to go on the fastest shopping trip in my life. Returning to the front of the store, my mom grabbed a shopping cart and stuck me in the seat. It practically felt as if we were running through the store as things went flying into the basket. It wasn’t until we were back in the car that things slowed back down.

Taking deep breaths, my mom steadied herself as she sat in the driver’s seat. I could only see the back of her head from my car seat in back.

“Mom?” I queried with a nervous tremble in my voice. “When did I get a sister?”

Her laughter was a bit frantic, but it seemed to restore her. Turning around in her seat, she smiled. “You don’t have a sister, Henry. I was just nervous that-” Her eyes popped wide as she realized something. “Shoot! I’m not even sure those were the right size.” Digging through the bags in the passenger side seat, she scooped out the package of panties I had handed her and studied the back. Murmuring to herself, it sounded like she was reading numbers. Then she blew out a big sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god. These should fit you.”

Reaching forward I asked, “Can I hold them?”

“Okay.” She handed them back. “Just be careful with them. I don’t think your mommy is quite prepared to do anything like that again any time soon.”

To my delight, the panties we got were both very soft and very slick to the touch. They even had a tiny little bow along the waistline. I told my mom of this discovery and claimed they must use little elves to tie something so small just like the ones Santa uses.

She just chuckled and agreed as she drove us back home. Normally we went and ate at a burger place when we went to the city and I pointed this out.

I was too young to tell my mom’s nerves were shot, but she covered it well. “Well, the faster we get home, the quicker we can put those in the laundry. Don’t you want to try them on?”

Blinking, it took me a second to think this over. Burgers were good, but this was something new. And again, my mom seemed to care about this a lot. So I could be all grown up and show her I cared. Besides, if she wore underwear like this and was excited about it then they must be really special.

In fact, this was sounding cooler by the second. “Yeah!” I gushed, “These are going to be so different than my old panties!”

“What?” mom asked.

“You know? Underwear. You said that’s what women and girls call it, right?” I was beginning to feel confused again.

“Oh, no honey. If the underwear is made for women and girls, it’s called panties.” She gestured with one hand over her shoulder as she drove. “Those things we just bought are panties. What you’ve been wearing are called underwear since they are made for boys. Do you understand?”

Examining the panties in my hands, I could definitely see they looked different than what I was used to. “I think so. Like trucks are different than cars because they look different?”

Pausing before answering, mom considered this. “Yeah, I suppose so.” She confirmed. With a final turn of the steering wheel, we entered our driveway.

As we entered the house, she apologized for not getting burgers when we were out. As compensation, we’d eat a frozen pizza and watch a movie, and I could choose the film. She also made a big production of putting my new panties in the wash.

“Can I wear the panties while we watch the movie?” I really wanted to know what they did that made them so interesting to my mom.

“Sure.” She then shoed me to my room. “It’s still a bit early and I have a few projects to finish up. Go find some toys to play with and I’ll let you know when it’s pizza time.”

“And when my panties are done?” I asked.

“Yes-” she feigned exasperation, “I’ll let you know when they’re done too.”

I was in the midst of putting the final touches on my rainbow LEGO castle when I heard my mom calling me from the front room.

“Henry! Come and get’em!” She then rang a small bell. She had been starting to teach me to put away my clothes, but when I first resisted, she had the idea to make a game of it where I was an employee summoned by the bell.

I had seen enough shows with waiters and bellhops that I immediately jumped into character. Hopping to my feet, I ran to the front room. However, instead of a stack of my usual clothing, my mom handed me a small folded stack of brightly colored panties.

“Now it is your job to find a place for these, otherwise no pay day.” She wagged a finger while delivering her best old-man manager voice.

“Yes, right away.” With that, I turned and ran back to my room. Carefully, I set the panties down as I opened my underwear drawer and made room. One by one I set the new underwear in their place, all except the last pair which happened to be a bright purple.

It took some time taking my pants and underwear off because I left my shoes on, but eventually I got free of them. Picking up the panties, I was about to step into them when I thought better of it, set them down, and finally took off my shoes. After all, my mom did say I should take care of them. Now wearing only socks and a shirt I once again picked up the silky fabric so I could put them on.

As I slid them into place, I felt strange. There was a tingling sensation in front. Rubbing the area only made it worse. I decided it might help if I put my pants back on, but even that felt different. It was like I was aware of everything. I could see why my mom thought these panties were so important.

Moving around the room, I couldn’t help but walk funny. Seeing my old underwear on the ground I bent down to pick it up and the tingling was like electricity through my body. I felt so dizzy that I needed to close my eyes and take deep breaths. Hearing mom’s voice, I perked up my head.

“Henry. Pizza is ready!” she called.

Taking one last deep inhalation, I walked with slow and careful steps to the front room. To my surprise, the pizza was set on trays in front of the television. 

Holding up a movie, mom said, “I thought we’d watch your favorite.”

That was the strangest movie night in my life. All the normal action scenes that I used to get so excited about were over-shadowed by all the female characters. I couldn’t help but imagine how they could walk and run like nothing was happening. That’s what they wore, right? That’s what I was wearing. To have my mom trust me with this meant I was really growing up.


	3. You’re Different

It was fortunate that I didn’t have such a strong reaction every time I wore panties. I guess the novelty of the feeling combined with a mild sexual response when my body was not prepared for that type of stimulation was pretty heady stuff. But with routine comes familiarity, which meant it stopped feeling odd to put on panties. Frankly, I wore them just because they were the first thing I grabbed out of my drawer.

Another year went by and I grew old enough that it was time to attend school. Being an only child with not much contact to cousins or kids my own age meant that finding myself in a room full of kids as old as I was a bit of a shock. These were my peers and possible friends I could relate to. They watched the same shows, liked the same toys, and didn’t tower over you like adults. It was fantastic.

Of course, with the good came Troy Dulman. He was a nasty piece of work. He pushed and bothered everyone around him. In short, he was the first bully I ever met. And it was with his help, I began learning about gender roles.

Troy, being the thick-headed toad he was, liked his insults. And one of his favorite invectives was to call boys girls. I was not exactly sure how this was an insult since he didn’t call girls boys, yet I knew it was bad by the other boys’ reactions.

“Hey girl.” Troy sneered at Nathan, a boy with somewhat long hair. “Want me to braid your hair or put it in pigtails for you like your mommy does at home?” 

“Shut up Troy!” Nathan cried with tears in his eyes as he ran off. The next week Nathan showed up to school with a short haircut.

When Troy saw it, he laughed. “I guess your parents finally got tired of raising a little girl.” He then slapped Nathan on the back of the head. “Guess I better show you how to be a real man.” From that point on, Nathan was always hanging around Troy.

It was things like this that made me realize boys were supposed to act different. However, no matter how Troy showed off, I didn’t think being a boy was so great. Then came the day that my world gained perspective.

As their latest round of cruelty, Troy and Nathan took to flipping up girls’ skirts. They seemed to really get a kick out of any girl that wore underwear with cartoon characters on them. They’d say things like, “I wonder what’s on tonight.” 

Of course, they probably weren’t that eloquent. I’m sure over the years my mind has embellished this part of the story and what they really said was something more like, “Hey cartoons!” I guess it’s safer to say this is how my mind interpreted this part of my life. We were in kindergarten after all.

It was while the girls ran to find the teacher when it happened. Having no more girls to pick on, they found Richie and pulled his pants down. There for everyone to see was Richie wearing Smurf underwear.

Now as far as cartoons went, Smurfs were pretty neutral. But unfortunately for Richie, Smurfette was one of the featured characters. Troy and Nathan fixated on this fact and began hooting and howling.

“Girl panties! Girl panties! Richie is a girl!” And all the other boys in the area joined in.

The color drained from Richie‘s face. He squatted to retrieve his pants, which only showed off his underwear even more, before running to the teacher, right behind the girls. The truly terrible thing was that when some of the girls heard about the incident, they even joined in on the teasing. They asked Richie where he shopped or asked if they could see his panties.

Richie didn’t stay long at my school and transferred the next week. Personally, I couldn’t blame him since even the classmates that didn’t make fun of him, still gave him odd looks. After that moment, Richie had no friends. It was the most serious thing I had experienced in my life, as even my father’s death had happened before I could remember.

I don’t mean to trivialize what Richie went through, but watching his experience shook me to the core. The day it all happened, I was standing right next to him. And unlike him, I was actually wearing girl’s panties at the time.

Guilt became a big part of my life, alongside shame. All those names that he didn’t deserve should have been directed at me, since they would have been true. I was also a terrible person because I didn’t stand up or even console him. Instead, I was wrapped up in the terror I felt for myself. What if they found out? What would they do? Would I end up alone?

My heart felt as if it would beat out of my chest when I thought of any of the possibilities. When I got home, I went straight to my underwear drawer and threw away all the panties.

Finding the garments in the trash, my mom sat me down and questioned me. “Henry? Why did you throw all your underwear in the trash?”

“They’re panties!” I cried, “Panties are for girls!” Tears spilled from my eyes.

Pursing her lips, she studied me. “Yes,” she began in a soft and steady tone, “when I told you that when we bought them you didn’t seem to have a problem with it.”

“That’s not for boys!” I wailed.

It took some time for her to work the whole story out of me. When this issue first arose, I guess it’s hard to realize that what was missing was social context. I couldn’t react to words like panties and phrases like, they’re for girls, since I didn’t have anyone my own age to show me how to react. Now that I did, it was a bit of a messy conversation for her to clean up.

“And you’re going to stop loving me-” I blubbered on.

It was these words that galvanized my mother. Taking my face in her two hands, she put steel in her voice while piercing me with her eyes. “No matter what you do or what happens to you, I will always love you. Do you understand?”

Shocked by the force of her words and actions, I stopped crying. It was hard to nod with her hands gripping my head, but I managed.

And that was that. We hugged and discussed what to do with the panties. Given my experience, I was still in favor of getting rid of them, but my mom convinced me to hold on to them in case I wanted to change my mind. She was a frugal person by nature so was loathed to throw anything away that had nothing wrong with it. In the end, I never went back to those original panties by virtue of out-growing them. I don’t mean mentally or emotionally out-growing them, I actually got physically too big to wear them. And if that’s how life worked, that would be the end of it. I’d go on to have a normal life with no more confusion about gender. Unfortunately, this was not to be the case, because in the sixth grade two things hit me. The first was puberty. The second thing to alter my life was Samantha Morgan.


	4. A New Girl

Compared to other twelve-year-olds, I had a minor leg up on my classmates. I wish this meant I was taller than my peers, but that has never and would never be the case. Rather, my mom thought it would be a good idea to teach me a skill. However, there was only a limited set that she felt confident enough to teach me. Still, she decided learning about sewing and a smattering of cooking would serve me well in life. And I must admit, I do tend to eat better than many of my friends. As for the sewing, it has led to some interesting opportunities, but those were still a few years down the line. As a sixth-grader, the most she had me do was to cut patterns out of cloth, which I succeeded at, a little more than half the time.

As a seamstress, my mom ended up with a lot of scrap remnants from the clothing she made. This meant I had a lot of material to work with, which is why I managed to get so much practice. My goal was to outfit my large G.I. Joe figures with all sorts of equipment. Tents and sleeping bags were just the beginning. The Joes had safari gear with all kinds of pockets and packs. They also had a full spy wardrobe with three piece suits and trench coats. But my absolute favorite was their superhero costumes. Since my mom made a lot of dresses, this meant I had an unusually large supply of brightly colored fabric. This resulted in the superheroes being the most elaborate to make.

Turns out, designing a costume involved lots of drawing. So everywhere I went, I had my notebook of designs. During recess, I typically had my head down, busy at work sketching a new outfit. It was probably for this reason why I hadn’t noticed the changes in my fellow classmates.

Unlike previous years, the boys and girls in my grade-level began acting funny. Before, girls kind of just played with girls and boys played with boys. Now I would hear second-hand in the lunch room that Emilio was now friends with Talia. And when the kids in my year said, “friends” they made it sound significant. 

It was hard to learn more about this since I was a bit of a loner. I never felt I had the knack of knowing what to say to people when they addressed me. This is why the desk right next to mine was empty. Everyone else wanted to sit next to their friends. Added to this, my voice squeaked at inopportune moments, so I felt self-conscious. I envied those with close friendships, since it began to dawn on me that I felt alone.

The teacher, Ms. Krane, set up her classroom in a series of pairs. She was really big on fostering cooperation, so tended to make assignments where we needed a study partner. This was great, for everyone else. Because our class had an odd number of students, I was the third wheel Ms. Krane had to put with one of the pairs. 

One presentation later, I think everyone could tell that I didn’t mesh in a group very well. It was partly due to the distance between me and the other students I was supposed to be working with. When splitting up the workload, they gave me everything that could be done by one person and didn’t need the others’ input. So even in the presentation we gave, my partners did their part together while I did my section by myself. I kind of just wanted to go and hide. We were only three weeks into the new year and instead of feeling like one of the kings of the elementary school, I felt like an outsider. Then something miraculous happened.

“Class, can I have your attention,” Ms. Krane called out in her “this is important” voice. Standing next to her was a girl I’d never seen before. “I’d like to introduce you to your new classmate, Samantha Morgan.” This last was said with a flourish of one hand towards the girl. “Ms. Morgan, please tell us a little about yourself?”

Samantha’s hair was a rich dark brown, almost black, and hung down past her shoulders. It framed a small oval face with pale sky-blue eyes. She wore a white shirt with a heart in rainbow colors. A black vest covered part of the design of the heart. Her shorts were a basic denim style. Below these were black boots that ended just shy of her knees. I could tell there was some sort of metallic hardware near the top of her boots because it glinted in the light, but I couldn’t tell if it was a zipper tab or something else.

When my mom taught me about her trade, she had to drill into me that it is the small things that matter. We often made a game of it when we went to a store. We’d call out, “Eyes up!” and then quickly move down an aisle of clothes. We’d then try to recall as many details as we could about what we saw. Afterward, we’d go back and see who was right about more of the observations. The winner would decide what would be for dinner.

You’d think this ability to pick out details would mean I’d be endlessly entertained by my classmates, but honestly, I had already figured out all the clothes they had. It was surprising how many times we repeat the same styles, day in and day out. Sure the girls had a little more variety in how they paired things up, but, in the end, even they liked what they liked, so ended up wearing variations of the same theme. But Samantha was different.

“Hi, my name is Samantha.” Her voice was clear and high like a soft chime of a bell. “And my family moved here from Ohio.” She paused, small lines appearing on her forehead as she thought of what else to say. “I guess I like roller derby and comics.” She turned to the teacher perhaps hoping this was sufficient.

Meanwhile, I was still mulling over Samantha’s clothes. I had never seen a girl my age wear a vest before. I knew they existed, I’m not dumb, it’s just I didn’t know anyone who actually wore them. And her boots were like something a superhero would wear. Most of the kids I knew stuck with sneakers, sandals, and the occasional slip-on. But boots were for outdoor things like hiking, right? My thoughts were interrupted as I realized Ms. Karen was pointing Samantha to the empty desk next to mine.

My heart started beating harder in my chest. I could feel a flush covering my face. Both my ears were warm and my hands began sweating. What was going on?

As she came closer, time felt like it was slowing down. I saw small details I had missed before. Around her neck hung a tiny heart-shaped pendant, which matched stud earrings in her ears. The metal hardware in her boots were also heart designs that seemed sewn into the boot’s shaft. I was finding it hard to breathe.

A nagging sound pulled at my attention. With a start I realized, Ms. Krane was calling my name. “Henry, if you could be a dear. Please help Samantha around and answer any questions she might have. Remember that you are a gentleman, not like Edward.” As to emphasize her point, a fart sound came from Edward’s side of the classroom, along with accompanying laughter from the rest of the class.

It was while I was distracted by this that Samantha took her seat. Hearing the foreign sound of a chair creaking next to me made me spin my head in her direction. Having her eyes so close and focused on me made me feel as if I were under water.

“Hi…” my brain abandoned me. I’m sure there was more I could say, but for the life of me, words were missing from my vocabulary.

“Hi, I’m Samantha, but you can call me Sam.” She gave me a small smile.

“Hi…Sam.” All right, I now had two words I could use. Come on brain give me just a few more. “I’m, uh,”

“Henry?” she ventured a guess.

“Yeah!” I gushed. “But how…?”

She nodded to Ms. Krane, who was starting in on the lesson plan. “That’s what Ms. Krane called you.”

“Right.” I gave my head a little smack. “You can call me, that,” I ended with the abrupt awareness I didn’t shorten my name like she did.

“Okay, that,” a giggle lacing her words.

It took me a second to process. “No, I meant you can call me Henry. Not, that. Although if you really want to call me, that, I suppose I…”

She couldn’t help but make a snort. “I’m just playing with you Henry.”

“Oh! Thank you?” It was a good sign I could now speak, but I was so out of my element. Perhaps I should talk about something she liked? My mom knew I had trouble making friends. In one of her attempts to teach me how to communicate, she said that it could help by mentioning something the other person liked. This is why the next words out of my mouth were, “So, you like hearts?”

Her eyes grew a bit wider at this. Clarifying she asked, “The body part or the shape?”

“The shape! The shape!” I was quick to reply. “I’d be a weirdo if I meant the body part.”

“Um, why would you ask me something like that?” A pink blush filled her cheeks as she tilted her head down to face the desk in front of her. Some strands of hair spilled forward concealing a part of her face.

Shoot, what did you say wrong now, Henry? I darted my eyes around trying to find something to help. Finally I responded, “It’s just your shirt, and boots, and your necklace, and your earrings all are hearts. I just figured you might like them, that’s all.” This last was said more or less as a mumble as I grew less confident.

Looking straight down, she saw for herself that she was indeed clad in hearts. Popping her head up and turning to me, she had the biggest smile so far. “I guess I really do wear a lot of hearts. I’ve been here for less than a couple of minutes. Are you like that one guy on that show who can like remember everything?”

“Not exactly. You see I…” I guess this last part of our conversation was getting a tad on the loud side since Ms. Krane cleared her throat and gave us a pointed look. “Sorry Ms. Krane,” I remarked for the both of us. Nodding, our teacher returned to her lesson.

This was awful. I finally had someone to talk to and I was not allowed to. This was so unfair. Why did the universe work this way? It was in the midst of this philosophical crisis, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. A couple aisles over and a few rows down, two of my peers were passing some paper between each other.

That’s it! I never had any reason to pass a note in class. My desk was located on the back corner of the room, so I wasn’t even a convenient person to help pass a note.

In fact, back in the fourth grade, I used to sit in the middle of the classroom and was constantly being asked to hand notes over. It got so annoying that, for the last two years, I purposely chose a back corner seat each year to avoid the disruption. I didn’t realize until now how isolated this made me. But what was I thinking? I had a note to write.

Grabbing out my design notebook, I tore a small piece from one of the pages to begin my correspondence. Turns out, there is an art to writing notes. You need to be clear, but very brief so you can allow the recipient room to respond. Here’s how it went.

Me, “Sorry.”

Sam, “It’s okay.”

Me, “I don’t have powers.”

Sam, “What?”

Me, “Like the guy on TV.”

Sam, “Oh, then how…?”

Me, “From a game I play.”

Sam, “???”

Me, “I’ll explain at recess.”

We managed to have this conversation by only using half a page from my notebook. All in all, I felt giddy. The world seemed to be a brighter place.

When the bell rang for recess, I literally dragged Sam along to my favorite shady spot in the school. A couple of gnarled trees did a great job at covering a small bench. The bench was nothing more than a couple of slats of wood bolted to some metal posts buried in the ground. Sitting down, I placed my notebook to one side and patted the seat on my other side to invite Sam to sit down.

“So, there is a game I play with my mom when we go to stores,” I began. “We walk down an aisle of clothing and then see who can remember more details than the other just at a glance.”

Sam cocked her head to one side. “Sounds kind of tough. What’s the prize if you win?”

My smile spread large across my face. “The winner chooses where we eat dinner that night.”

“Do you win a lot?” she appeared rather curious.

Waving my hand about I admitted, “Less than half the time. You see my mom makes clothes for ladies for a living. She’s had a lot more practice at it.”

“Can we play?” Sam was intense in her expression. “I’m big into games. I guess you can say I’m rather competitive.”

Pursing my lips, I thought for a second. We didn’t have a store full of clothes, but we did have other students. “Okay, I must admit I practiced on the other kids at school for quite a while. Here’s what we’ll do. You can stare straight ahead and try to notice as many details as you can about the next person that walks or runs pass.”

She looked forward preparing herself, then turned to me as she saw me pick up my notebook. “Aren’t you going to play?”

“Sure,” I answered as I found the last design I was working on, but hadn’t finished yet. “The thing is I’ve had plenty of chances to study my classmates over the years so it would be unfair of me to just focus straight ahead.” I held up the notebook. “So I’ll be fair and only partly pay attention.”

She huffed in dissatisfaction. “Well you’re smug. We’ll just see how good you really are.”

“We sure will.” I smirked to myself as I bent over the notebook and began sketching. Just then, Ronda passed by off to meet some of her friends. “Did you get a good look?” I asked distracted by an intricate shoulder pattern I wanted to try.

“You mean the girl with the pink shorts and the light blue top?” Sam replied.

“Yeah.” I made a few more marks on the page. “Her name is Ronda.”

“Hey, that’s cheating. There’s no way I could know her name just by looking!” Sam was a bit miffed.

“Oh no.” I back-tracked now giving her my full attention. “I just wanted to tell you her name, you know, since you’re new and all.”

“Oh.” Sam sounded mollified then asked, “Well? How did I do?”

“Uh,” I tried to spare her feelings. “You definitely picked out her major colors that she was wearing.”

Sam folded her arms across her thin chest. “Well, I didn’t hear you give any details.”

I bounced my head from side to side. “Typically, the way my mom and I play is that we’d take turns saying one detail at a time. The first person to run out of details would lose.”

Sam scrunched her face up. “So do we start again?”

“We don’t have to,” I admitted. “We’ll just count your two observations as if you replied twice. That way I can give three answers and then it would be your turn so we can catch things up.”

Sam nodded waiting for my observations.

“Well, she wore white shoes. Her shirt said the word lovely on it. And the clip in her hair matched the color of her shirt fairly well, but it was just a slightly lighter shade of blue. Okay, now you go.”

Sam just sat there mouth agape. “Really? You got all that from just a glance?”

Scratching my head I was a bit sheepish. “Actually I got more. I just wanted to make sure I could say more details later.”

“More? I don’t have any more to add. What else did you notice?” she sounded disbelieving.

“Well, her shoelaces were pink. The bottom of her shoes were black. She had a silver bracelet on her…right….wrist. I think it had something dangling from it. Her nail polish was another shade of pink. Her hair is a reddish brown, which is how I recognized her. And if I wanted to cheat, I could say her eyes are green and she wears a small necklace with a peace sign pendant.” I explained this last two points by raising two fingers. “The green eyes are because I know her and I know she always wears that necklace no matter what she’s wearing. I didn’t actually see either of those things.” I lowered my hand.

“I don’t believe you,” Sam stated in a flat tone.

I gestured out to the blacktop. “Be my guest and go find her.”

Without another word, Sam shot off running to go find Ronda. As she left, I had a sinking sensation in my stomach. The loss of her company was an emotional blow. Tracking her with my eyes, I watched as she found our fellow student and struck up a conversation with the other girl. At one point, she even grabbed the girl’s right hand, studying it closer. Did I just drive away the very first person who might have been my first real friend? 

Tears were about to fill my vision when I saw Sam spin on her heel and come marching back in my direction. Despite the serious look on her face, my heart soared with every step she took towards me. Eventually, she reached the bench and sat heavily beside me folding her hands in her lap not saying a word.

“Well?” I asked, not wanting to have an awkward silence between us.

“You were right,” she said, each word stated in a slow and measured pace. “I’m not sure how I feel right now.”

I tucked my pencil into the spine of the notebook’s binding and left it open on the seat beside me. Turning to Sam, I ventured, “I could teach you?”

“Really!” she gushed. “That would be so cool. I-” she broke off her sentence as she spun to face me. Our faces were mere inches from each other as if we were preparing to kiss. This time both our faces blushed a vivid shade of red, especially since neither of us turned away.

Finally, I dropped my focus from her eyes to her lips. Again I could feel my heart pounding in my body. Thankfully, by breaking our stare allowed Sam to spot my open notebook.

She blurted, “Wow! Is that a superhero?”

I blinked for a moment, trying to comprehend what she asked, “What?”

“Your notebook. “ Reaching across me, she scooped it up off the seat and peered at it. Turning back the pages, she saw some of my other work. “And are these gangsters?”

“Uh, spies actually,” I admitted. “But gangsters would be a great new project, now that you mention it.”

“Project?” Tipping her head up she looked straight at me. “What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, you know how I said my mom makes ladies clothes?”

Sam nodded.

“Well, she’s teaching me how to sew. And I make all sorts of outfits and costumes for my big G.I. Joe figures.” I held up my hands to demonstrate the size of the average toy figurine.

Pointing to one side of the page, she asked, “So all these odd shapes?”

“Are the shapes of cloth I need to make that.” Pointing to the other side of the page where a sketch of the end result could be seen. “I’ll show this to my mom and after she studies it, she’ll help me make corrections.”

“Like making your own clothes for Barbie dolls?” Her face was suffused with awe.

I screwed up my face to show my distaste with the comparison, but noted she was really impressed. Softening my features, I relaxed and agreed. “Pretty much. I must admit, I haven’t made anything for a female figure, but the principle is the same.” This topic engrossed us for the rest of the day.

Sam went through and asked tons of questions about each and every design. Many of her questions, I couldn’t answer like when it came to some of the characters’ backstories. Or in the case of the superheroes, what did it look like when they used their various powers. Needless to say, I was a bit crest fallen when the school day ended.

When I got home, I ran to my room and stuffed as many of the outfits we had finished over the years into my backpack. While struggling to close up my bag, mom walked into my room.

“You seem rather excited,” she observed. “Did you learn anything special today?”

“Yeah!” I shouted. “Sam is a new kid in my class and sits next to me! I showed Sam my notebook and want to bring what we’ve made to school tomorrow.”

“Oh, Sam huh? Sounds like someone made a friend.” Mom beamed in my direction. “Perhaps you can invite Sam over?”

As I mentioned before, I was a loner and had never had anyone over to my house. This also meant that I didn’t go to other kids’ houses either. So I was super stoked that mom wanted to let me invite Sam. “Really? Awesome!” 

Mom opened her mouth to ask more, but the phone rang. As she walked out she called over her shoulder, “Next time you see Sam, make sure to exchange phone numbers. I’m sure his parents would like to call to know if it’s okay with me.”

Staring at her retreating back, I wondered why mom thought Sam was a boy. Shrugging my shoulders, I gave it no thought, instead devoting my attention to the plan to have Sam over. Who knew that the new girl would be my new best friend.


	5. An Invitation!

The next day, I went to school with a pack full of doll clothes. What I wasn’t expecting was what Sam brought.

“Check it out!” She held up her own notebook. The cover sported a sticker that read, keep out. Opening the front cover, I was surprised to see all the vibrant drawings. Sam was an artist. “Like I said in front of class the other day, I like comics. So, I draw my own.” She pointed to a heroine who was zipping around a villain dressed like a plant. “Her name is Durby and she can propel herself forward by force of will. The problem is her legs could never keep up and she would end up flat on her face. So she had the idea to wear rollerblades. And now she can break the speed of sound.”

I was already studying her costume, trying to work out how it could be made. Pointing to the plant man, I asked, “Who’s the bad guy?”

“Oh, he’s Invasive. He was a doctor studying a meteorite that had an alien plant-form on it. When he saw that the plant was resistant to all kinds of diseases, he tried combining it with his blood.” Sam turned a page to show Invasive’s arm being torn off and then regrown. “It did make him super resilient, but also crazy. Now he’s trying to find a way to create more pure samples of the original plant so that he can do this to all of humanity.”

“Woah, does he know how?” I was enthralled by her words.

Sam pauses in thought. “Sort of. He can sense that radioactive material helps his plant side react better. Fortunately, Durby has stopped him from getting his tendrils on the stuff.”

I stared down at the epic fight in Sam’s book. “So how did Durby get her powers?”

Sam shook her head. “I’m not spoiling that secret. You’re going to have to read just like everyone else. Besides, you still haven’t shown me what that is.” Pointing at my bag, she had spotted a scrap of yellow fabric hanging out from my bag.

Reaching down, I pulled the costume out. “This is one of the silliest costumes my mom and I made. She had been making a costume for a lady who wanted to look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast so we had tons of extra yellow cloth at the house.” I laid the costume on her desk.

She slapped a hand over her mouth to stop a giggle. She only managed to squeak out, “Is that what I think it is?”

I nodded. “It’s a banana suit.”

“Oh my god, it’s so adorable!” Scooping it up, she pressed it close to her chest. “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen!”

I was ready to show her more, but Ms. Krane called for our attention to start the school day. It was agony to sit still through the lessons. Both of us couldn’t wait to get out onto the playground.

Between bells we seemed to have scant minutes as I devoured Sam’s comics while she gushed over all the various outfits I brought. It wasn’t until the last break that I even remembered my mom’s offer to invite Sam over.

Writing on the inside covers of our respective notebooks, we exchanged numbers and a promise to call when we got home. 

When I got home, I showed mom the phone number and asked if I could call. She told me that I needed to give some time for Sam to make it home before I went and bothered their family. Therefore it was fortunate when our phone rang. Running to it, I answered.

“Hello, this is the Miller residence.” Eagerness infused my voice.

To my great relief it was Sam’s voice on the other line. “Henry! I told my mom about your collection and asked if I could come over and see the rest. But she needs to talk to your mom first.”

“Mom!” I yelled. “Sam’s mom needs to talk to you to see if it’s okay to come over!”

I jumped when mom’s voice answered me from behind. “Okay Henry. You want to hand me the phone?” She reached out with one hand for the handset. I thrust it at her and watched as she put it to her ear. “Hello? Oh okay.”

“What’s happening?” I was bouncing on the balls of my feet.

Putting one hand over the mouth piece, she replied, “Sam went to get his mom.”

My brow creased at this. Why did mom keep referring to Sam as a boy? I was distracted from this line of thought when she perked up.

“Yes, this is Henry’s mom. Uh huh.” She nodded along with her words. “His collection? Oh, you must mean the clothes we make for his dolls.”

“They’re action figures,” I hissed.

She shushed me with a wave of her hand. “Oh me? I’m a seamstress by trade. I wanted to teach Henry a useful skill and thought making little costumes was a great way to get him interested.” She stayed quiet for a while as she listened.

I tried to move closer to hear what was being said on the other end, but my mom turned away heading for her work room. 

“Hmm, I think I can fix something like that pretty easy. Let me just go see and if I have any of that fabric.” Her voice grew faint as she entered the other room.

I stayed in shock, rooted to the floor of the living room. What just happened? We were trying to get permission to have Sam come over and it turned into a work call? Looking down at my hands, they were sweaty from my excitement, but now they felt cold and clammy. I wiped them on my pants while trying to take a deep breath. 

Talking to myself, I attempted to calm down. “It’s okay Henry. Mom will remember to ask if Sam can come over. And when she does come over, she can see my room!” My eyes popped wide. My room was a mess!

Darting down the hallway, I shot into my bedroom and went to work. Dirty clothes found their way into hampers. Building blocks got stuffed back into bins. Even my bed got made. I was in the midst of posing all my big G.I. Joes in my favorite costumes including the banana suit when mom walked in.

“Wow, you should invite Sam over more often if it means you’ll clean your room like this.” She was scanning around for the usual piles of things that littered my space.

“Mom,” I groaned, then perking up at what she said. “Does that mean Sam can come over?”

She smiled. “Of course. Plus the added bonus is that Nancy, sorry, Sam’s mom has some work for me. So she’ll be dropping off Sam and the dress she needs fixed off tomorrow after school.”

“Yes!” I pumped my fists in triumph. A thought occurred to me, making me drop my hands. “Can we finish the robin hood outfit tonight?” Mom had been tireless at sewing a rich emerald dress for one of her regular clients. I wanted the material for this awesome Robin Hood design I had been waiting to make for months. The problem was that we didn’t know if there was going to be enough material left over until the dress was finished.

“Well, Mary picked up the dress earlier today. And I had nothing else to do… so…” She let the last word just hang in the air.

“So, it’s almost done?!” I was to the moon. She never finished a project of mine without me being there. Most of the time, it was to show me something new about sewing. But she was also excited to see this project come to life. That’s why she shortened the process for both of us by getting a fair bit of the creation done on her own.

We both sprinted to the sewing room, where all the work got done. There on the main table was most of the outfit. Apart from a few hems and adding the leather belts we had already made earlier, the suit was practically ready to go. With great reverence I picked it up, holding it at arm’s length.

“That’s got to be my favorite design you’ve done so far. It almost looks just like the reference material.” Mom nodded to one corner of the room where I had my own station. On it sat a Blu-ray copy of Robin Hood. Alongside it was a scattering of papers with sketches of the suit.

Unlike previous designs, I was going for absolute precision. That’s why there were also rulers and quite a few mathematical notations on the paper. When I started to learn about fractions in school, I struggled. But mom showed me a real-world way to apply them by scaling down something or to help keep things in proportion to one another.

Turns out it made me the best student in the class when it came to math. As a way to thank mom for the help, I planned the Robin Hood costume because it was one of her favorite movies. It was the first time I paused a film to use tailor’s tape to measure what was on the screen. After weeks of drawing and re-drawing, I finally had it right. Now it was practically done.

It took the rest of the evening to complete our project. When I put that little feathered cap on my figurine, mom couldn’t help but choke up and shed a tear holding a hand to her mouth.

“Mom? You okay?” This was having the opposite effect than what I had expected.

“I’m fine.” She fluttered a hand at me. “I’m just so proud. I’ve never seen you work so hard.”

Holding it up to her, I admitted, “Well, I know it is a character from one of your favorite movies. So I thought you’d like someone to play with when the Joes go on their next adventure.”

This brought about a whole new wave of tears. “Oh Henry. That’s why you made it?” She prevented me from speaking by crushing me to her and rocking from side to side. “You are the most precious boy a mother could have.”

Man, adults could get so emotional at the weirdest things. Squirming around, I let mom know I was too old for these types of hugs. Finally, she loosened her grip to give me a chance to admit, “I guess it really did turn out well.” I studied the fine hems of the outfit on the doll running my finger along the seams.

“Are you going to show it to Sam?” Her voice was filled with pride.

“Definitely!” I cocked my head to one side considering the presentation. “Though I think I want to hide this one for last since it took the most work.”

Grinning she nodded. “I think that would be the best.” Reaching to a shelf she pulled down a scrap of soft black velvet. “How about you wrap it in this to make the big reveal extra special?”

From time to time, mom made a special effort to surprise some of her customers. This was especially true when the dress she made was for a big occasion. With a nod, I took the scrap and carefully folded it over the action figure. Running to my room, I then placed the treasure into a shoe box. This was going to blow Sam’s mind when she came over. A massive yawn made me realize how late it actually was. Rubbing my eyes, I went to perform my nighttime rituals. Tomorrow was going to be an awesome day.

At school, Sam was a bit disappointed to see I didn’t bring any more outfits. I had to explain that I had arranged my action figures with them on at my house. And when she came over we could see them in action.

She then sprung her own surprise on me saying that after school, her mom had an important meeting and figured our playdate would be extra-long. The rest of the day was a bit of a fog for me after hearing her news.

We started the school day by reading more of the comics she drew and I began teaching her how to be more observant. She even asked if she could bring a doll of her own so that we could maybe design something. When I agreed, she leaned over quick as a whip and kissed me on the cheek.

My face turned red as a tomato and the blush wouldn’t leave my ears even after my face returned to its normal color. Even Sam felt shy about the involuntary action. We were hard pressed to look at each other without a whole other round of flush feelings. This made it awkward to have any more conversations when we actually had opportunities to have them.

My palms had the unfortunate fate of being in a constant state of perspiring. I kept rubbing them on my pants and shirt so I could hold a pencil.

By the time the last bell rang, I guess Sam was getting nervous. Grabbing my arm, she turned me around and asked, “I didn’t make things weird between us, did I?”

Seeing her regret plain, I couldn’t help but act upon an impulse. Bending forward, I kissed her back, but this time on the lips. Her hand flew to her mouth as if reacting to a burn.

Eyes round as saucers, she managed to ask, “What? What was that?”

Inhaling deeply, I gave her my most serious expression. “That, was payback.”

Her hand fell away from her face and an expression of bewilderment replaced it as she worked out what I said. Then mock rage took hold. “You jerk. I’m going to-” But she lost her chance as I skipped away.

“See me later? Yeah, I know.” I shouted over my shoulder, completing her sentence. Behind me, I heard an unmistakable growl and a stomp of one foot. This brought a smirk to my lips.

“Your darn right I’m coming over, Mr. Miller!” There was a mix of joy and anger in her words as she called after me. The kind that is common in play fighting by people of all ages. “Just you wait!”

Her last statement put chills up and down my spine. Was she making a threat or a promise? Either way I needed to hurry home to prepare.


	6. The Reveal

At home, I was what can be best described as frantic. Double-checking and triple-checking my room was only the start before I began cleaning the living room and work room. My mom watched in a stunned state of fascination as she saw the effort I was putting into this monumental event.

“Mom! A little help please?” I rung my hands in a parody of what I’d seen her do when she got stressed.

Her response was less than assuring. With a chuckle, she rubbed the top of my head. “I’m sure everything will be fine.” That’s when the doorbell rang.

Throwing my hands on top of my head, I moaned, “I need to brush my hair now. And Sam is at the door!”

Waving me to the bathroom she said, “I’ll get the door, if it matters so much to you.”

Running full tilt to the bathroom, I grabbed up my hair brush and ran it over my scalp. The bristles were almost painful due to how fast I was using it. Taking a quick look in the mirror, I sped back down the hallway toward the front door. I made it just as mom was opening it up.

Outside stood Sam with her backpack. She wore black sneakers with blue tights, a patchwork skirt, a white t-shirt with a female superhero I didn’t recognize, some pale azure heart-shaped earrings, her customary necklace, and a blue ribbon tying back her dark hair. Smiling, she introduced herself to my mom. “Hello Ms. Miller, I’m Sam.” She held out a hand.

My mom was a bit slow to react. Her eyes were very round with her mouth left open. Finally, she said in an odd stutter, “You’re a girl. A pretty… girl. I’m, uh, yes Henry’s mom.” After a moment, she registered Sam’s hand. Clasping it, mom turned to me saying or maybe asking, “Sam is a girl?”

With a roll of my eyes and a sigh, I answered. “Of course she is. Now can I show her my room?”

“I suppose, I just-” mom broke off as a woman filled the doorway. She appeared to be a larger version of Sam, but had on a gray skirt suit with a pale pink blouse. She was holding a garment bag.

Snapping to attention, mom put on her professional smile. “You must be Nancy. I’m Heather.”

As our mothers indulged in small talk, I took Sam by the hand and rushed her down the hall. It was awkward for her as she had started to slip off her backpack.

“Henry! Hold up. I don’t want to drop my bag.” She yelled from behind.

Pushing my door open, I released her hand, leaving her at the entrance so she could get a full view. Stepping to one side, I got out of her way.

“And I didn’t forget that I need to pay you back for-” her words trailed away as she saw the full line up of figures, with the banana suit taking center stage.

I guess she didn’t mind dropping her bag after all since it fell from her hands as a look of awe stole across her face. “You made all of these?” She moved forward to touch the figures. At school, she was only able to see the costumes since I couldn’t take the Joes as well.

“Well, me and my mom.” I walked over to hold up a figure wearing a toga. “Some of these are simpler than others and I can do a bit of the sewing.”

“They’re all so amazing.” Sam fingered a small rope wrapped around a jungle design. It was originally supposed to be Tarzan, but I wasn’t too sure at the time about making his clothes look like they came from an animal he had skinned.

“Yeah, we have lots of extra material from my mom’s work so-” I was interrupted by a gasp from the hallway.

Sam’s mom was looking in. Pulling a well-manicured hand from her mouth, she stated, “Samantha was right. These are exquisite. Oh! And there’s a banana man!”

Sam and I smiled as Sam held out the banana-suited character to better show him off. After marveling for a moment, Sam’s mom refocused. “Sam, I’m going to head out for my meeting. Remember, if you need anything, just ask Ms. Miller to help. And if there is an emergency, you have my number.”

Sam nodded. 

As if seeing me for the first time, Sam’s mom met my eyes and smiled. “And you must be Henry? Sam has not stopped talking about you since the first day of school.”

This made me turn a bright shade of red. I knew I had pretty much done the same when I met Sam. I did manage to mutter a soft, “Hi.”

But Sam’s mom was already pulling away, heading back down the hall. I could hear brief words as she thanked my mom for watching Sam. I didn’t catch my mom’s reply because Sam was staring a hole straight through me.

She was about as red as I felt. That’s when I remembered her mom’s words about how she talked about me. I couldn’t help but tease, “So, you talk about me?” To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t prepared for Sam to tackle me and give me a tickling.

Landing on my back her weight fell over me. Giggling with tears in my eyes, I tried to fend her off. I’m not sure when it happened, but Sam straddled me. Her skirt rode up and our crotches came in contact.

Like an electric shock, my body responded. It was that moment I developed the most intense erection. Now I had experienced them before. In fact, I frequently woke up with them, but this was different. I think Sam realized this too.

We both lay there still and silent. She looked down the length of our bodies where they met then back up into my face. An expression of confusion and curiosity filled her countenance.

I was unable to speak. My throat was dry and it felt as if my heart was pounding inside my skull. Our faces were inches apart.

With agonizing slowness, she lowered her lips to mine. As they made the barest of contact, a voice broke through the spell.

“Henry!” my mom called, “Can you ask Sam if she likes pizza? And if so, what kind?” Her voice was a bit muffled since I could tell she was yelling from her work room.

Turning to Sam, I raised an eyebrow, “Well?”

She got off of me and smoothed her skirt, but remained kneeling on the floor. Clearing her throat, she said, “Yes, I like Hawaiian.”

Facing the hallway, I returned my mom’s yell with one of my own telling her Sam’s reply. Returning my attention to Sam, I noticed her focus was on my pants. Following her gaze, I was greeted by a tent formed by my penis. Covering it the best I could with my hands, I apologized. It seemed we both realized we had done something wrong and needed to change the subject.

Giving me a little privacy, she pulled her focus away and noticed her forgotten bag. Crawling over to it she made small talk. “I brought some more of my comics I drew.”

Scooting over to the edge of my bed, I snatched a pillow from it and put it over my crotch. With my back against the bed sitting on the floor, I could partially hide my crotch. The erection was not abating though, due in part to the view of Sam’s backside as she bent over her bag. That’s when I noted she had intricate scribbles on her skirt.

Pointing at her butt, thankfully she didn’t see that, I asked, “What’s written on your skirt?”

“Hmm?” She looked over one shoulder back at me with her eyes flickering toward her rear. “Oh that?” She managed to extract several notebooks. Standing with them, she walked over to give me a closer look. Setting her notebooks on my bed, she used her hands to spread out a section of her clothing.

Among the numerous swatches of material, I could make out sketches of Durby, her personal superhero. All the sketches were disjointed scenes, but they appeared to go together somehow.

“I had this idea about a new villain Durby could fight.” She pointed to a scene near her waist where a dark figure used a spinning wheel. “That’s Tapastry. When she uses her magic spinning wheel, she can fracture time and space. All the scenes are Durby trying to put the timeline back together.” She gave a slow turn to let me see more of the skirt. “Seeing it like this gives you an idea of the mess she’s trying to clean up. And since Tapastry has a spinning wheel, I thought it would be neat to put the story on clothing.”

“Woah!” This was a totally different level of creativity for me. “Does it have an ending?”

Nodding Sam replied, “That’s the best part. It’s…” Shutting her mouth she again turned bright red.

“What? Is it in the notebooks?” Thankfully, my rock hard penis was now back to normal. I glanced over my shoulder at where she set down her notebooks.

“No.” Sam’s voice seemed small and quiet.

Turning back towards her I asked, “Then how does it end?” I had to know.

“It’s on the skirt,” she admitted.

“Where?” I began searching the fabric for answers.

“Um,” Sam gulped. “It’s on the inside.” She lifted a bit of her skirt’s hem to show the underside. Unlike the outside of the garment, the interior had a plain white fabric. Upon this I made out a much more structured comic book scene. 

“Oh, I’d like to see it.” The problem was my ears started burning and I felt my pants stirring again. My body’s reactions seemed to be more aware of what I said than I was.

“Maybe later,” she conceded, “Perhaps when I’m not actually wearing the skirt?”

“Right, right,” I agreed, feeling embarrassed that I asked. “It’s just super impressive.”

“Thanks.”

Man, why are things so weird between us? Sam showed me this super awesome thing and I’m ruining it. Why can’t I have something? I shot to my feet as I recalled my big surprise.

Sam stumbled back, holding a hand to her chest. “What!?” 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Moving over to my toy chest, I opened it up and pulled out the shoe box with the velvet wrapped Robin Hood. Placing it with great reverence on the bed, I explained how I came up with the design, explaining that it was a character my mom really liked and I wanted to do something special for her.

Sam took in a sharp breath as the figure came into sight. The lush green seemed to absorb the light as it shone from the black velvet it rested in. With a trembling hand she reached out and picked it up.

“Wow!” was all she managed.

I wasn’t sure what my reaction should be. It felt a bit rude to just stare at her face, even though I was bursting with pride seeing her react. I decided to give her some space. That’s when I saw my banana guy on the floor. Guess she dropped it when she tackled me. Picking it up, I brushed it off and set it down with the rest of my toys.

When I felt enough time had passed, I turned back to her. Her eyes were big and blue as ever, but she was biting her bottom lip as she held the Robin Hood close.

“Um, Henry?” she began, “I was hoping… I mean if you weren’t in the middle of something… You could say no of course, but-”

“But what, Sam?” My heart went out to her. She seemed overcome by the craftsmanship that went into the doll she held.

“I brought a doll and was wondering if you could make something for her?” She went to her bag and pulled out what looked to be a Barbie-style doll with bright red hair and rather boring clothing. She then handed it over.

I guess she forgot that I already promised her that we could make a costume for one of her dolls. Rotating the doll in my hand, I could tell that many of the measurements I used for the G.I. Joes would not work with this doll and told Sam as much. When I noticed her face fall, I assured her that it’s not a problem; it may just take me a while to figure it out.

With great enthusiasm, she threw her arms around me in a fierce hug. “Really, Henry? You think it’s possible?”

“Sure, I-”

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” Mom’s voice from the hallway startled Sam and I. We flew apart each clutching a doll.

“No, Sam was just asking if we could make something for her doll.” I held up the redhead in my hand to cover up my own shade of crimson plastered on my face.

“Oh?” Plucking the doll from my hand, she turned it over. “We’d have to take new measurements, but it shouldn’t be a problem.” Addressing Sam she asked, “Would you mind if we hold on to the doll for a while to use as a model?”

Shaking her head, Sam beamed. “Not at all, take all the time you need.”

Nodding to herself, mom handed me back the toy. “Okay, then I’ll let Henry plan things out.” She turned to leave then stopped and swung back. “Oh and I wanted to tell you two to clean up. The pizza should be here any second.” As if to underscore her words, the doorbell rang. She left to go answer it, leaving us to our own devices.

I showed Sam the bathroom as well as where everything was. After doing a complete demonstration of my own hand washing routine, I gave her some privacy as I went to go help mom with the pizza.

When I made it to the kitchen, mom was pulling down three plates. Seeing me, she handed them over. As I arranged them on the table, she mentioned, “So Sam is rather pretty.”

Shrugging, I answered, “Yeah, I guess so.”

Trying a different tact, she asked, “So, is she your girlfriend?”

“Sure,” I responded not quite understanding her meaning. She raised an eyebrow, so I added, “She’s my friend who is a girl. So, she’s my girlfriend.”

Blowing out a deep breath, my mom shook her head and muttered to herself, “I guess not quite yet.”

I gave her a quizzical look.

Smirking she only replied, “In time, in time.” Little did I know that time was going to be sooner than her or I could have known.


	7. Our Bodies, Ourselves

The rest of our time together that night was uneventful. I read more of her comic while she posed my figures and made sketches in yet another notebook. There was a bit of small talk, but the time flew by. Her mom came and picked her up and that was it. We said our goodbyes only after she made me promise to start work on her doll’s outfit.

I managed to do some work before bed by drawing out the body measurements of her doll. Just for fun, I also drew in a side-by-side comparison of one of my Joes to give additional perspective. The thinner female figure had much more complicated curves to work around. This might be a bit tougher than I realized. Yawning, I decided I’d tackle the problem another day. Slipping into bed, I turned out the light and went to sleep.

The next day at school was, different. For some reason, Ms. Krane ordered all the boys to go to Mr. Hong’s class. He taught the same grade as Ms. Krane and we often had events and special activities where we interacted. But it was strange seeing all the girls from his class head over to Ms. Krane’s room.

The desks in this new classroom were all separated so no one was paired off like in my own class. Seeing us enter, Mr. Hong instructed us to all find seats so we could begin.

On the board was written the words, Our Bodies, Ourselves. What an odd phrase. Once all the guys from my class found a seat, Mr. Hong proceeded to teach us the most uncomfortable lesson of our young lives.

Evidently one of the numerous papers they gave us to take to our parents was a permission slip. I had a vague recollection of bringing something home for mom to sign. That happened to be all it took to give the school the right to show me naked pictures. Sex education was off-putting.

On the bright side, my erection made total sense. Not sure I could look Sam in the eyes after this, or her face apparently, or her butt, or crotch. All that I learned kept flashing me back to that time in my bedroom. Why in the world did my own mother let me take a girl into my room?

It is safe to say, I had a rough understanding how and why girls and boys were different and that I should pretty much be ashamed of myself. I didn’t seem to be the only one with this issue. On the playground, boys and girls formed their own tribes, staying well away from each other. It was the first time Sam and I didn’t sit next to each other on our favorite bench.

Each time the bell rang, we marched dejected and listless to our segregated rooms. Along with sex, we found out that our bodies were changing. Hair, smell, and bumps of all sorts were going to ravage our frames. And to be extra helpful, Mr. Hong pointed out a few boys already going through the change.

By the time school was over, no one from our grade was talking to anyone else. Younger kids ran and screamed as normal as we, the unfortunates in grade six, stumbled from the school like zombies.

I made it home and let my bag and jacket drop where ever they wanted. Mom was hard at work on a dress in the sewing room. Spotting me she called out, “Hey dear, what did you learn in school today?”

Stopping at the doorway, I gave her a dead stare and said in a monotone, “Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. And we’re all gross.” Tears trickled down my cheeks.

Stunned, mom halted her work. Getting up from her chair, she moved to gather me up in her arms. “Oh Henry. That was today? Why are you crying?”

Through sobs, I managed to explain, “Boys can hurt girls with sex and make them pregnant and ruin both their lives. And Sam is a girl. And you won’t let her come over any more. That’s why you were surprised-” The crying became too intense for anything else to be coherent.

“Oh no honey. Is that what you thought?” She stroked the back of my head as she rocked me. “I was just surprised since I thought you had made friends with a boy. I’m not going to stop Sam from coming over.”

This news brought my crying under control a bit. I was now only sniffling. “You promise?”

“Of course, my sweet. Besides, didn’t I overhear you have a suit to make for her doll?” She was wiping away the tear streaks marring my face.

“Yeah,” I replied with a tremble in my tone. “Do you think her mom will let her still come over?”

In answer, mom put her hands on her hips and put on a mock indignant expression. “She better. Otherwise, I’m not giving back her dress I’m fixing.”

“Really?” I asked with hope.

“Really, really.” With that she touched my nose with one finger. “Now you, sir, have some designing to do, don’t you?”

With a great big smile, my head bobbed in the affirmative. “Sure do!” I then tore off to find my notebook to put pencil to paper. Things were looking up.

The next day, we resumed normal class. However, the mood in the air was still a bit tense. I attempted to start a conversation with Sam, but she was either busy in her own schoolwork or looking away for one reason or another. By the time the recess bell rang, my spirits were low.

Unlike the day before though, I was brave enough to go sit on our usual bench. With a sigh, I pulled out my design notebook and went back to work. Now that I had the measurements, I could start trying out a few basic shapes of fabric for my pattern. I was so engrossed in the work that I didn’t hear when Sam joined me until she spoke.

“Any progress on the outfit?” She said in a near whisper.

The sudden intrusion still made me jump. “Ahhh! When did you get here?”

She gave me a flat look. “About a minute ago. So did you?”

I blinked rewinding the conversation in my head. “Oh! Yes!” I blurted. Picking up my note pad, I turned back to the outlines of the dolls with their accompanied measurements. “I needed to figure out how big everything needed to be to help make a pattern.”

She studied the drawings, and then pointed to the male figure. “Why did you draw the male doll?”

“Oh, I did that partly for fun and partly to see if there were any similarities that could make this easier.” Flipping to an earlier page at random, I pointed out. “You see, I’m familiar with what works with the Joes. And if I can save any time then I can make something better the first time I try.”

“Oh? Did you find any similarities?” She took my pad and turned back to the comparison drawings.

“So far the only thing I can say for certain is that they have similar joints.” I was proud of this fact. “My earliest attempts didn’t take this into account and it was really hard to dress the figures since I couldn’t get them into their clothes.” To my shock Sam was now writing in my notebook and hiding it from me. “Sam? What are-?”

“Just give me a sec. I’m adding important details you missed.” She stated.

What did I miss? I’m pretty sure I got everything. After all I had done this sort of thing before. I was about to tell her this when she finished.

Holding the notebook to her chest so I couldn’t see, she pivoted to face me. “For someone who picks out so many details, I’m shocked, Henry, in what you missed.” Her expression was stern and serious. “After all, you should know-” She turned the notebook toward me so I could see. “boys have penises and girls have vaginas.” There on the page in rather exquisite detail were anatomically correct drawings of the two dolls.

My mouth opened and closed several times without sound. She even added nipples to each figure. She handed over the notebook with a big grin across her mouth.

“Well?” she prompted.

“Uh, yes.” I managed. I had been a bit embarrassed at school the other day that I didn’t look as close as Sam had done when genitals were shown. I alternated my view from the page to Sam and back again several more times. Finally, I shrugged and said, “I guess that proves it.”

Sam cocked her head. “Proves what?”

With a grin of my own, I closed my pad with great care. And in the most nonchalant manner I was capable of, I replied, “Oh, that you’re a pervert.” Then I took off running.

It took several moments for that to register with her, then shrieking she came after me. “Henry! You jerk!”

The rest of the day was filled with silly bits of conversation. I’d ask Sam, “Can I borrow your eraser? Oh, and you should know I have a penis.”

She then replied, “Here you go.” As she handed the soft pink rectangle over while adding, “Your penis will get erect if it gets engorged with blood.”

To which my response would be, “Thank you. Oh, and I also appreciate the eraser as well.” These small bits of dialog left us giggling and made our fellow students give us dirty looks. We were careful not to be too loud, but they were still in the awkward phase from the day before so were probably reacting to our mirth more than anything.

By the end of the week, it was as if nothing had changed. Well, something had changed. We were a little more inclined to talk about our private parts. The appeal had to be from the forbidden nature of it all. It was for this very reason that I still question what was going on in Sam’s mind when she asked me to come over after school.

“Come on Henry. I went to your place. Besides, I have a pool.” She wiggled her eyebrows when mentioning the pool.

“I don’t know. I still have a lot to do for your doll’s outfit.” On a personal level, being alone with her scared me. Sure we were bantering like normal, but the adult things we said gave our conversations an edge that brought chills to my flesh.

She tugged on my arm. “Please. And didn’t you say your mom was practically finished with the dress she was repairing for my mom? She could drop you and the dress off at the same time!” Sam’s smile was bright and dazzling. Then she leaned in and whispered in a husky voice, “You can see me in a bikini.”

I gulped. My heart was racing. Was the room getting smaller? I really wanted to see Sam and her swimwear judging by the state of my pants. Resolve crumbling, I agreed, “Okay, I’ll ask my mom.”

“Great!” She gave my shoulder a smack. “And while you’re over, I can show you my newest comic.”

I perked up at this. “Really? Another Durby adventure?”

She wagged a finger in my direction. “No, no, you’ll just have to wait and see.” There was a sinister twinkle in her eye. “All I can say is that it is different.”

When I got home, I asked for permission to go to Sam’s place. I think a small part of me was hoping mom would say no to the idea. However, she was not affected by the sex education class that had so recently traumatized me. My knowledge of the human body told me things should be different. Even though mom and I had our heart-to-heart along with her assurance that things would be okay, something nagged at me that this play date would be different.

“Good, I can drop off Nancy’s dress. I finished it earlier today. Did Sam’s mother say it was okay?” Mom quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes, I think? Uh, actually I don’t know.” All I knew is that Sam made the offer. She didn’t bring her mom into the equation.

“Give me the phone. I’ll just give her a call to see if it is okay.” She held out her hand as I went to retrieve the handset. Placing it in her palm she dialed the number. Waiting a beat, she finally spoke, “Hi Nancy, this is Heather. That’s right, Henry’s mom… Mmm hmm. Yes… when would you need it by? I think that’s possible.” 

It was hard to figure out what was going on just by hearing one side of the conversation. Bouncing on the balls of my feet, I willed the phone call to steer in my direction. Around the five minute mark, it finally did.

“Oh, and Henry told me that Sam asked him over, is that okay? Oh, I see. Yes, I’ll be bringing the dress. See you soon.” With that she ended the call. Peering at me she smirked. “Well, you better get ready! You got a Sam to see.”


	8. The Deep End

Pulling up to Sam’s house, mom and I were both surprised at how nice it was. The front yard was surrounded by concrete pillars with wrought iron fencing between them. The house was, for the most part, cream colored with a dark blue trim. The bottom of the first floor had brick-work along the base. We could even see an open balcony on the second floor.

Giving a low whistle, mom muttered, “You really know how to pick them, Hen.”

Hen was mom’s short name for me from time to time. She had change to it when I complained about her calling me baby and other names like that.

We parked the car in front and got out our things. I had my bag with notebook and snacks while mom got out the dress she’d fixed for Sam’s mom. Together, we walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

Sam’s mom answered the door. Seeing us, she cried, “Heather! You are just in time. I was just telling my fashion director about that dress you were fixing.” She pointed to the garment bag mom was holding. I began moving into the house, past Sam’s mom.

“Henry!” mom called out. “You haven’t been invited in.”

Sam’s mom just waved it off. “Oh it’s fine. Sam is upstairs in her room, Henry. I’m sure she’s waiting for you.”

As I found the stairs and started climbing, I could hear my mom thanking Sam’s mom for letting me come over. It then sounded like the dress was being unwrapped along with gasps of delight. Mom always did seem to impress the people she did work for. 

As I came to the second door on my right, I found Sam in her room. She was on her bed, laying stomach down, furious at work, drawing in her pad. I didn’t want to startle her so knocked on the door frame. She looked up and gave me a big smile.

“Henry! You made it!” With a quick roll she moved off the bed and onto her feet. She was wearing flip flops, denim shorts, and a white shirt with a pink dragon on the front. Peering closer, I could see that the dragon was made out of hearts.

Pointing to the dragon’s face, I asked, “Are those-”

But Sam cut me off and finished with a mischievous wink, “My breasts? Why yes, Mr. Miller, thank you for noticing!”

I never turned red so quick in my life. My mouth opened and closed several times without working. Finally, I managed to say, “That’s not what I meant. I-”

She giggled and gave me a playful shove. “I know silly. I’m just playing with you.”

“Oh.” We were about to stand there awkward in the silence when I heard my mom call from down stairs.

“Henry, I’m leaving! I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

I ran to the upstairs landing to see my mom at the front door. “Later mom!”

She waved a finger in my direction. “Remember, be on your best behavior.” I nodded as she turned back to Sam’s mom. “Thank you again so much Nancy for letting him come over. You sure they won’t be a bother?”

Sam’s mom scoffed. “I’m sure they will be complete angels. I have a lot of paperwork to do and my office at work is much louder than any two kids can hope to make.”

Mom gave me one last wave and blew me a kiss. Instinctively, I made the gesture of catching the kiss and placing it on my cheek. I’d be humiliated if anyone my age would have seen that. I quickly glanced back to make sure Sam hadn’t noticed. Fortunately she was still in her room. Not registering my concern, mom smiled and left.

Turning to me, Sam’s mom said, “Just let me know when you and Sam get hungry and we’ll find something to eat.”

I nodded then turned and ran back to Sam’s room. I was in the room before I registered Sam was taking off her shirt.

Dropping my bag to the floor, my eyes went wide. Turning, she saw my shocked expression and raised an eyebrow. Blinking, she seemed to realize something. Her curious expression was replaced with a grin I can only call devilish.

Letting her shirt fall back down in place, she stalked toward me, making sure to exaggerate her walk. She then spoke in a husky voice, “Henry, I think it’s time.” With slow deliberate motions, she moved her hands to her shorts and unbuttoned them.

Gulping, I raised my eyes to hers as the unmistakable sound of a zipper filled the room. This was followed by the sound of cloth hitting the floor.

The video at school was right! We were turning into adults. I could now see Sam pulling her shirt over her head then tossing it to the ground. She was now close enough that I could feel her breath on my skin as she spoke.

“Are you ready, Henry?” Her face was intense and piercing. It was as if she was staring a hole right through me.

“Ready?” I squeaked. “Ready for what?” I could feel the front of my own shorts tenting out.

Now in a sultry whisper, she replied, “Ready… to swim.”

My heart stopped. Then a bit of the blood found its way back into my head. Looking down I could see Sam was in a bikini. It was dark blue with white hearts. 

This was Sam’s moment to start laughing. “You should see the look on your face!” she said between tears. “What were you expecting?”

“I just-and you were, uh, you know.” My thoughts were still somewhere in my shorts.

Putting a hand on one cocked hip, she gave me a sassy look. “No, I do not, uh, know,” she mocked.

That’s when I realized something else was wrong. Bowing my head, I apologetically admitted, “I forgot my swimsuit.”

“What!?” Sam burst out. “But I told you about this.” She gestured at herself.

“Yeah,” I scratched my head, “and that’s about all I thought of. I didn’t connect it with swimming.” The deep red blush returned with a fury.

Sam wrinkled her brow and bit her lip in thought. “Hmm, in that case.” She turned to her dresser and proceeded to rifle through one of the drawers. Finding what she was looking for she pulled out two brightly colored pieces of clothing. “Then, you can borrow one of mine.”

Reaching out, I took the two offered pieces. “What are they?” As I turned them about and stretched them to get a better view I understood. They were each one-piece girls swimsuits. One was black with aqua blue trim. The other was pink done up in a multi-hued heart pattern. The pink one also had a built-in skirt.

“These are-” I couldn’t finish the thought.

“Swimsuits,” Sam supplied. “I’d recommend that one.” She pointed to the pink one. “To help cover up that.” She then pointed to my crotch.

Looking down, it was obvious I still had an erection. “I can’t wear this. It’s for girls.”

“So,” she gave a short shrug. “Some of the shirts I get are for boys. What’s wrong with the swimsuit?”

“You can see things,” I complained.

“Not if you wear the pink one,” she countered.

I was desperate for another excuse then found one. “What about your mom? I don’t think she’d approve.”

Sam chuckled, “Maybe not. But I also don’t think she’d notice. Besides, my uncle dresses in women’s clothing and my mom has lunch with him frequently.”

Now this was news to me. Having only mom as a role model, I didn’t know of many men, much less know men who dressed in women’s clothing. “Really?” At this point, my days of wearing panties were only a distant memory, but this could change a lot for me. It was as if I was leaving a world of black and white and entering one of grays. Or to be more accurate, this was a world of pink, with heart shapes.

“Yeah.” Sam’s tone showed that she thought nothing of it. “So are we going swimming or not?”

Handing her back the black swimsuit, I kept the pink one. “I suppose. Is there anywhere for me to change?”

Pointing to the doorway she said, “Right across the hallway is a bathroom. Once you’re done just go to the backyard. I’ll be in the pool.” And with that she moved past to head downstairs.

Rushing into the bathroom, I threw off my clothes, trying not to think about what I was about to do. But as soon as the lycra material touched my skin, a chill went up my body. I had never felt anything like the sensation of the suit as it clung to my body. Wiggling into the tight fabric sent all sorts of signals to my brain.

Half the signals reveled in the exotic and erotic feelings. The other half were telling me that this was wrong, which only amplified the sexual sensations. Pulling the gusset up to my crotch nearly had me buckled in half from the intensity of my erection.

Breathing heavy, I leaned on the bathroom sink, trying to let the tingling subside. It was most likely less than a minute before I didn’t feel like I was going to faint, but I swear I thought it was an hour. It was this skewed sense of time that gave me the nerve to go and find Sam, so that I could brave the rigors of the pool.

Leaving my clothes in Sam’s room, I headed down and found a sliding door out to the backyard. Through the glass I could see Sam face down on a float in the pool. Taking one last big breath, I slid the door open, stepped out and tried to close it as quietly as possible behind me.

Raising her head, Sam looked up and gave me a wolf whistle. “Hey sexy. You come around here often?”

It was a good thing I went with the skirted suit, my penis had not softened. In fact, it sort of throbbed when Sam made her remark. I knew I couldn’t let Sam continue to keep me off balance, so I played back. “Well, sir.” I began putting as much distain in my voice as I could manage. “A lady such as myself does not respond to such language.”

She giggled then replied, “My apologies, madam. I should say you are looking quite stunning this fine day.”

Grabbing the skirt I gave a very brief curtsey. It had to be brief since there wasn’t a whole lot of skirt to work with. “Thank you, sir. Now if you wouldn’t mind, I wish to join you.”

Sam was about to reply in her most gentlemanly manner, but I cut her off with a cannonball. Her eloquent retort turned into a high pitched squeal as her float tipped over and she fell into the water with me.

To my great relief, the cool water handled the problem I was suffering with down in my crotch, but this reprieve was short lived as Sam attacked. We played for nearly an hour before we got tired and went back to Sam’s room.

With the swimsuits drying in the bathroom, we both had returned to our normal clothes and were gathered around Sam’s sketch pad. I had pointed out that it wasn’t a standard notebook, which is what I was used to seeing Sam’s work in.

“Of course, silly.” She explained, “That’s because those were my older pieces. The lines in them were too distracting and as soon as I found out about sketch pads, I switched to them. You should probably get some of your own.”

In truth, I found the lines helpful to keep the measurements I used consistent and said as much. Sam reached under her bed and pulled out a different pad and tossed it in my lap. Opening it up, I found grid lines on the paper.

“They also make stuff like that. You can keep that one, I tried it and didn’t really like it.”

Putting Sam’s gift in my bag, I hurried back to her to see her latest creation. Unlike Durby, this main character was a boy. And he looked a lot like me. With light brown hair and gray eyes, I saw him being abducted from his home by aliens. “Wow, he looks familiar.”

Sam blushed and bowed her head. “I kind of used you as a model. I hope you aren’t mad.”

I shook my head. “No way! This is awesome! But what’s going on? There’s no words just empty boxes.”

“Oh that. Yeah, I like to get the pictures done first with an idea of what’s going on. Then I go back and add descriptions and dialogue later.” She pointed to the various panels. “As you can see, the main character is a science experiment for aliens. They want to turn him into the most adaptable thing in the universe.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

Sam rocked her head from side to side in a noncommittal way. “I’m still working that part out.”

“Will he look different when it’s all done?” I would feel a bit sad if I didn’t see myself on the pages of Sam’s comic.

“I’m thinking yes and no.” She tapped a finger on her chin pondering. “I like the idea of him being able to transform.”

We both stayed silent as we let our minds wander. It didn’t look fun as the main character lay strapped down to a slab with all sorts of machines connected to him.

“So what did you bring?” Sam’s voice snapped me out of my reverie.

“What?” I blinked trying to refocus. “Oh! I’ve made a lot of progress. I think I have the right measurements. I even made a paper model sample.” Going to my bag, I fished out the small paper clothes.

Sam pursed her lips, looking at the plain white pieces. “They don’t look like much.”

“That’s because they don’t have any color.” I then began pointing out my short-hand system for identifying colors.

Her brow scrunched up trying to follow how everything looked and would come together. She finally blew out a frustrated sigh. “Hold on. Let me get something.” She then pulled out a set of colored pencils and began outlining each section in their appropriate color. She got five pieces in when her mouth dropped open. “This, this, this is Durby!” she squealed.

I nodded, “The only problem was that I couldn’t figure out what type of material to use. But after today, I know what it needs to be.”

“What?”

I ran out of the room and headed to the bathroom snagging one of the swimsuits. Returning to her room I held it out triumphantly. “This stuff! While I was swimming, I noticed it always clung to me but was very flexible. Typically, you can’t make clothes too small for a doll or action figure since they can’t bend like we can. But this stuff does all the stretching!” To demonstrate I pulled on the garment.

Sam winced, “Henry, please don’t stretch my bikini bottoms out of shape.”

Looking down I saw I had a firm grip on her bottoms crotch. I stopped stretching and looked sheepish. “Sorry.” The bottoms returned to their normal shape. “But see, they’re really durable.” I examined the tag to see lycra and spandex as the main parts of the fabric.

“You really like those bottoms don’t you?” Sam said saucily.

“No, I was just reading the tag. You know, I should use this stuff to remake some of my own superhero costumes. Right now, they just look like pajamas on my G.I. Joes.” Looking up, I noticed Sam was looking suggestively between me and her bottoms. “I’ll go put these away.” She had thrown me off already too many times today. I wasn’t going to fall into yet another beet red impression.

We then decided we were hungry and had to pry Sam’s mom from her paper work in order to eat. With full stomachs, I was sad to hear the doorbell and soon saw my mom. The play date was coming to an end. I did manage to mention about the material used for girl’s swimwear and how I needed it for Sam’s project. She gave me a funny look, which traveled to Sam then back to me, but she didn’t say anything.

Gathering my things, I said goodbye to Sam as our moms talked. Getting into the car, something seemed different about mom. She had a bit more color to her cheeks and her hair seemed a little out of place, and she was smiling a lot. 

Noticing my attention, she asked, “What’s up Hen?”

“You look different.”

“Oh!?” She flipped down the visor and studied herself in its tiny mirror. Giving her hair a little touch up she shrugged. “Must be the nice day.” Turning to me, she pointed out. “It looks like you got some sun of your own.” With that she pinched my tanned cheek.

Rubbing my face, I muttered, “Yeah, we went swimming.”

“Oh? I didn’t think you packed a swimsuit?”

I froze, I didn’t think about what I had just said. I attempted to play it off, “Yeah, I just borrowed something.”

“I see…” she let her words trail off, then to my surprise changed the subject. “Want to go to the fabric store to find what you need?”

“Sure!” I was happy not to be stuck in an embarrassing conversation. Rummaging around in my bag, I pulled out some notes. “I think I’ll need six different types of materials.”

Off we went to the store to find the needed fabrics. This had turned out to be a very eventful day. Little did I know, the night ahead would hold even more surprises.


	9. A Restless Night

After returning home from shopping, I found myself more tired than usual. Perhaps it was the swimming I did earlier, but I could barely keep my eyes open and yawned almost constantly.

Mom noticed my eyes kept closing as I looked over the material we picked up. “Hen, why don’t you get your pajamas on.”

I looked over at the clock and saw it was still a couple hours before my bedtime. I tried to argue, but a yawn prevented even a token resistance. Giving up, I went to my room and got ready for bed. It looked so inviting that I needed to crawl in and under the covers. Before I knew it, I was down for the count.

Opening my eyes, I could see five Sams standing around me. For whatever reason, I knew they were aliens and I was their experiment. Each wore a different color bikini that I tried to grab.

“I need this material!” I cried.

The Sam I was grabbing simply nodded and then put me in a girl’s swimsuit. She would then whisper, “Henry, it’s time.”

Then the process would repeat. Another Sam, another swimsuit, more whispering, finally I tore the suits off and declared, “These are for girls?”

All the Sams pointed at my crotch. Looking down, I was erect and getting larger by the second. It got so large it knocked a Sam down. I tried to turn to reach her so I could help her up, but when I turned my penis knocked more of the Sams over. 

All I could do was apologize. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I need a skirt to cover it up.”

Eventually, the Sams grabbed me from behind and wrestled me into yet another swimsuit. This one had a skirt. They assured me it would hide my privates.

I had to agree that it was working, but my body started throbbing. Every pulse shook the space and made the Sams jump.

I found myself begging for a pool. “Please just let me swim. The throbbing will go away if I can just swim.”

The Sams multiplied in number and clasped their hands together in a giant circle. “Jump in!” they called.

With a great leap, I plunged into the middle of the circle of Sams to be greeted by refreshing cool water. But the suit I was wearing started sucking up all the water, but only in the crotch. It absorbed the entire pool making it feel like the suit would burst.

“It’s stretching!” I announced.

“Don’t stretch it out of shape!” the Sams moaned. Then they all reached for the gusset of the bathing suit and pulled in every direction.

It was at this point I woke up from my strange dream, needing to pee. I went to bed before performing my nightly routine, which included using the bathroom. So it was no surprise I was now wide awake at ten o’clock.

Getting out of bed, I padded over to the bathroom, but stopped when I heard an odd sound coming from my mom’s room. Peering down the hallway, I was surprised to see a light on in my mom’s bedroom. Creeping down the hall, I peeked around the door frame to see what the sound was.

Her door lined up with the foot of her bed so I got a full view. She was laying on top of the bed with her legs spread, night gown pulled up, and no panties in sight. With her eyes screwed shut and light brown hair plastered with sweat to her face, she was making soft moaning sounds. One hand was pulling down her gown to expose a breast which she then massaged. The other hand was holding something that looked blue and involved her crotch.

I was trying to wrap my head around what I was seeing. And I wanted to know what was with that blue thing she was stroking. Then as if she meant to show me, she pulled it out of her.

It was about eight inches long and as thick as my wrist. She brought the head of the fake penis to her mouth where she proceeded to lick and suck it. Traveling back down her body, I could see between her legs.

The wet gash was glistening and open amidst the curls of her vagina. Then just like her mouth, it eagerly devoured the full length of her sex toy. When she did this a louder moan escaped along with a raspy, “Oh fuck!”

It didn’t take long before her body convulsed in pleasure. Her legs partly closed as she bore down on each wave of her orgasm.

The sex class hadn’t been this explicit, but I understood that she was masturbating. Part of me wanted to ask questions, but the smarter part of me was scared and stayed absolutely quiet.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when she turned over onto all fours then lowered her face to her pillow. I now had a view of her rounded backside. Each globe seemed to shake and wiggle as she settled herself more comfortably.

She had to free her hands so I watched as the blue dick buried inside of her slowly slipped out. But right before it hit the bed, her hand reached between her legs and grasped it. Then with a fierceness that verged on violence, she thrust that rubber cock into her pussy.

She was definitely being louder, but the pillow she screamed into muffled much of her cries. Meanwhile, the slapping wet sound of her self-stimulation grew in volume.

As her efforts reached a crescendo, she did something unexpected. With her free hand, she reached around her butt and stuck a finger in her asshole. With that last action her body clenched and spasmed. I even swore it looked like she was leaking from her vagina. 

As her body collapsed, I figured I should make a hasty retreat to my own room. I had climbed back in bed before I remembered I still hadn’t used the restroom and my bladder was not prepared to wait much longer.

This made me break out into a sweat. What should I do? I don’t want to have mom see me catch her, but I really needed to go.

It took about five minutes before I came up with a plan. I’d get out of bed and make a lot of noise on my way to the bathroom. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was inside my head.

By the time I made it to the hallway, I was relieved to find the whole house dark. Running into the bathroom, I shut the door and flipped on the light. Lifting the toilet seat, I discovered a whole new problem. I was rock hard and couldn’t seem to point it to the toilet to pee. To make matters worse, it was sensitive to the touch.

I began hyperventilating. I wracked my brain trying to figure out a way to pee. I thought about using the shower, but didn’t want it to sound weird when I turned it on to clean up the mess. I looked at the sink, but it was too high. I was about to decide that the shower was my best option when I discovered all my panic had softened my penis.

Peeing was still rather uncomfortable. It felt as if I was blocked up in some way, but through perseverance I managed to finish my business, clean up, and go back to bed. Right in time for a whole new set of dreams.

I was walking hand in hand with mom into our favorite department store, just like when I was little. We went straight to the girl’s section, pushing past all manner of swimsuits in vivid colors. The deeper we went, the tighter the racks became until we were swimming through the sea of lycra and spandex.

Finally we burst through to a clearing, it was the back wall. However, unlike the vast array of panties I recall seeing as a child, the wall was now filled with rubber penises. They came in every shade of the rainbow and many had patterns on their rigid erect surfaces.

“Can I help you?” asked a woman off to one side. Turning, we could see it was a sales woman.

“Yes,” replied mom, “We need something for his sister.” She pointed at me for emphasis.

“Well, aren’t you all grown up?” the woman cooed. “Would you like a really big one?”

“It’s for my sister.” My protest was weak with no volume.

Clapping her hands together, she stated, “Then maybe mommy has an opinion?” Together we faced mom.

Somehow she lost all her clothes and was thrusting a blue penis into her dripping pussy. She moaned as her hand increased the speed of the fake cock. With a grunt, it was obvious she reached a climax.

“Hmm.” The woman reacted as if mom had said something intelligible. “I do agree that is a good choice. Personally, I’d go for something black.” And as if by magic, she was holding a black phallus. She too had lost her clothes. “Now remember sweetie, it’s important for a girl like you to pick the right one for your sister.” She gave me a conspiratorial wink. She then directed my eyes to her crotch as she inserted her toy. “See?” she moaned. I wasn’t sure if she was asking a question or explaining something obvious.

I faced the wall again. This time I spotted a pink dick with a pattern. Upon closer inspection, it looked like it was made of interlocking hearts. Reaching out I grasped it in my right hand. Its surface felt warm to the touch. Pulling it off the hook, I stared down at it.

“Yes! Oh god yes!” both the woman and mom chorused in sexual ecstasy. I faced them to see their eyes wide and glassy as their hands worked with a ferocity between their thighs. Their heaving breasts were topped with jutting nipples that seemed to nod toward something behind me.

Spinning around, I saw a mirror between all the hanging cocks. Stepping to it, I studied the glass.

Before me was a person that was both foreign and familiar. My hair was the same shade of light brown. And my eyes were their normal stormy gray. But the length of the hair, the bone structure was Sam.

The girl in the mirror held the heart patterned dildo tight in one fist. Her free hand reached out to touch the smooth surface mirroring my own actions. However, instead of feeling the mirror’s clean surface our hands clasped and the girl fell towards me tackling me to the ground.

I blinked when we landed. As I refocused, I found myself in my room with Sam on top of me. Sam looked like her normal self, well, if you can call wearing a bikini normal. She hovered over me.

In a breathy whisper, she asked, “Are you ready for me, Henry?”

Looking down I saw my clothes were gone. Additionally, I did not see my penis.

Sam pulled down her bikini bottoms while staring into my eyes. In a frank, no nonsense voice she informed me, “Boys have vaginas and girls have penises.” Then we both brought our attention back to our crotches.

With her bottoms removed, I could see the decorative dick I had picked out in the store attached to her body. With one hand, she angled the head of the prick to my core. Flexing her hips forward, I became impaled on her massive member.

With a grunt, she sheathed herself inside me. It was not a bad feeling. There was a fullness alongside a sensation of being united with another person. 

Sam’s breathing was ragged as she completed the joining. For a moment, we lay there relishing the experience. Then she began moving. Each thrust built a tension inside of me. The sound of our skin slapping together filled the room.

When that tension got to an unbearable level, I awoke with a start. My cock was pulsing with what felt like electric jolts. The pulsing showed no signs of stopping as my underwear filled with sticky liquid. I could not determine if this was pain or pleasure.

I feared to touch my crotch since the strange new reaction might get worse if I messed with it. It seemed like an eternity before my dick stopped its convulsing.

I made sure to gingerly extricate myself from bed and make it to the bathroom. Once there I found a massive wet spot on my pajamas. I did what I could to clean things off with toilet paper.

When I thought I had cleaned the worst of it and flushed it down, I contemplated my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Part of my childhood was lost this night, and deep down it would shape a big part of my life.


	10. Confessions

The next week was rough. Not only did I have my first orgasm, but it came with a lot of mental baggage. Did I see myself as a girl? Did I want to have sex as a girl? Am I still attracted to girls? Well, that last one was easy. Whenever I looked at Sam, I got a boner. The problem was, it was hard to look mom in the eye and I think she knew something was wrong.

“Hen? You okay? You’ve seemed a bit distant.” She approached me with a careful tone.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled.

She wrinkled her forehead then asked, “Are things okay with you and Sam?”

“They’re great,” I was quick to reply. “There’s just been stuff.”

“Would it help to talk about it?” She slouched a bit and lowered her eyes slightly to look into mine. For the first time, it registered that I was catching up to mom in the height department. Standing about four and a half feet, I was still shorter than my mom’s five foot two.

I shook my head. It was hard to have this conversation when my mind kept flashing back to what I saw her do.

She sighed, “Okay, so you don’t want to talk with me. What about Sam?”

“What about her?” There was a whole other mountain of feelings I hadn’t dealt with when it came to Sam.

“Maybe talking with someone your own age might be easier,” she explained.

“Maybe?” I was dubious at best about that plan of action.

Straightening, she declared, “Then that does it. You can go visit with Sam this coming weekend. Let me just call and set things up.”

Thinking back on it now, I didn’t question why she was so eager to set the play date up. I would find out in time what her ulterior motive was, but in the moment I had bigger concerns. What would I say to Sam? Would she understand?

The weekend came quicker than expected. All my preoccupation with gender and sexuality really helped the time fly by.

“Ready to go?” mom asked with a spring in her step. She was wearing a short sleeve floral dress with heels. She even had makeup and jewelry on.

Cocking my head to one side, I pointed out, “You look dressed up.”

Glancing down, she made a dismissive gesture with one hand. “This? Oh, it’s something I made and wanted to try wearing out. It would look weird if I didn’t dress it up a bit.” With that, she shuffled me out the door and into the car.

It wasn’t until we reached Sam’s house that I discovered I had left my bag at home. “Mom! My bag! It’s still at home!”

She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. “Well, we could go back. Or you can save whatever you have for next time. Was it really that important?”

To be honest, I hadn’t made much progress on the Durby costume. With a reluctant sigh, I shook my head, “No, nothing too important.”

We got out of the car and went up to the front door. To my surprise, Sam greeted us. “Wow, Ms. Miller! You look really nice.” She gave my mom a big smile.

“Thank you Sam. Is your mom around?”

Sam nodded, then turned and yelled, “Mom! Henry and his mom are here!” She then grabbed my arm and hustled me up to her room.

Flailing with my free hand, I waved goodbye to mom as Sam’s mother came out to speak with her. I didn’t hear anything they said since Sam closed the door of her room behind us.

Putting her hands on her hips, she glared at me. “Okay Henry, spit it out.”

“Spit what out?” I attempted to evade.

She raised one hand and wagged a finger at me in a scolding manner. “Why have you been so quiet since you last came over?”

I just looked down, embarrassed to say anything.

In a scared voice, she asked, “Is it because my parents have a big house? Do you not want to be friends with me anymore?”

“No!” I cried, “It’s just what happened after I got home that night. I-” I broke off not wanting to continue. But then I raised my head to see Sam’s large watery eyes. And I knew I could not hold anything back. I told her everything. My dreams, seeing my mom, finding out about orgasms, I tried to cover all my issues. She remained quiet the whole time.

“And I never told you that wearing your swimsuit wasn’t even the first time I wore girl’s clothes.” She raised an eyebrow at that remark. I continued, “When I was young, I wanted to wear panties. I even had some that my mom bought for me.” I then gave her the story of how that began and ended. When I was done, I felt a bit jittery.

Sam just sat, there not showing any emotion.

Finally, I prompted, “Sam, say something.”

She looked at me and asked, “So, I had a penis?”

I blinked, then the laughter and tears hit. I think both were a sign of relief warring to be my reaction.

Seeing the tears, Sam panicked and gave me a reassuring hug. This in turn gave me an erection, which pressed into her rather abruptly.

She was wearing rather thin pink shorts and a light blue graphic tee. So there wasn’t too much to stand in the way apart from my jeans.

Looking down she noticed what just poked her and giggled. “Man, you really are having a time of it, aren’t you?”

I put my hands over my crotch to cover my shame. “Sorry,” I murmured.

“No, don’t be like that.” She reached out and pulled my arms away from my body. She then released one hand to point down at my rampant sex. “That’s a natural response. Besides, it tells you that you still like girls.”

“Well, of course I like you Sam. You’re beautiful.” It didn’t exactly register with me what I’d said until after the words were out of my mouth.

Sam turned a fetching shade of pink and looked away. “Uh, thanks.”

My eyes popped and I pointed to her face. “See, it’s not easy handling reactions like that.” Then I turned a bit more contemplative. My eyes traveled to her shorts then back up to her face and I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

I don’t think I can recall seeing someone that color red before. She slapped her hands to her face covering it up and turning away. “Henry!” she squealed, “You can’t ask a girl things like that.”

“I didn’t ask anything,” I remarked, grin splitting my face from ear to ear. I watched her back as she regained her composure. Her shoulders heaved as she took in deep breaths to calm down.

Spinning on one foot, she surprised me with a sudden change of subject. “So, you want to play dress up?”

Glancing around her room, I couldn’t see any costumes so I said as much. “But you don’t have any costumes.”

She gave me a devilish smile. Running to her closet, she rummaged around a box in one corner. Making a triumphant sound, she brought out a red wig. Holding it up to me, she announced, “All we need is this!”

I took the hair piece from her and studied it. It was not too far off my own hair color. The red was more pronounced in this hair, but the general shade seemed close to both my mom and I.

Sam explained, “I wanted to be a princess one year for Halloween. The princess I wanted to be was Ariel from the Little Mermaid. The thing is, I wanted to look a bit more natural so I got that color instead of a super bright red. I liked it so much that I came up with Durby. In fact, that’s what my next costume will be.”

“Oh! So we’re dressing you up like Durby?” Things started to make sense now.

She giggled, “No silly. We’re going to dress up like fine young women. Very proper, darling.” For the last bit she imitated a British accent.

“I don’t know.” My heart began pounding.

“Come on!” she whined. “You said it yourself. You want to dress up like a girl.”

“I didn’t say that,” I said in a defensive tone.

Sam narrowed her eyes, and then put on a sly smirk. Perhaps she noticed I didn’t throw the wig down in disgust. “If you do, I’ll tell you a secret,” she teased.

“What’s the secret?”

She shook her head. “No way. If you want to know you have to play.”

I knew it was the thinnest of excuses she offered. To be honest, the thought of doing this gave me chills. Even my penis tingled when I imagined what would come next. I still needed a bit more assurance, so I asked, “You won’t make fun of me, will you?”

Sam took that as a yes on my part. Squealing she jumped, gave me a hug, and then ran to her closet. In a second she had placed a couple of dresses on her bed. The first was a floral dress in black with white and pink flowers running its full length. The edges along the sleeve openings and neckline were trimmed in a soft pink lace. The other dress was royal blue with a dark navy belt. The dress also came with a short jacket that matched the belt. On the jacket were white embroidered hearts.

Holding out her arms, Sam presented the two outfits. “I’ll let you choose. You’ll wear one and I’ll wear the other.”

I liked the look of both of them and had no idea how to choose. So I grabbed the one closest to me, which was the floral and lace dress.

“Excellent choice, my dear,” Sam exclaimed. Her false British impersonation was wavering between being there and not. “For privacy, you may take the room across the hall.” She gestured toward the bathroom. As I started in that direction, she scared me with a sudden outburst. “Oh, Henry wait! I almost forgot!”

Spinning around, my heartbeat doubled in speed. I was already practically dizzy from the thought of doing something so taboo that the loud sound rattled me to the quick. “What?” I stammered.

Sam was digging through some drawers and pulled out two black scraps of cloth. Tossing them to me, I found out that I was now holding a black bra and panties. The bra was heavily padded which made sense since girls my age still weren’t quite well-endowed.

“You do know how to put that on, right?” Sam asked as she headed to her closet once again. She scooped up some black sandals. Popping up, she moved closer and handed them over.

“What? The bra?” I asked. “I think I can figure it out.”

Shrugging, she replied, “Suit yourself.”

The blush on my face was enough to show her I might be out of my depth, but she would let me learn on my own. Turning me around, she pushed me out into the hallway and started to close her door. 

Before it shut all the way, she added, “When you are done, just knock.”

“Knock?” I asked as the door clicked shut. Taking a deep inhalation, I turned to enter the bathroom. Setting the shoes down, I placed the underwear and bra on the toilet seat and hung the dress on the towel bar. I then perched the wig on the sink’s edge before I closed and locked the door.

It took two tries before I engaged the lock. Studying my hands, I could see they were shaking. Goosebumps ran all over my body. This was really happening.

I didn’t know where to start. I logically knew this wasn’t my first time wearing girl’s clothes. In fact, the swimsuit was even more revealing than a dress. The thing was that before now, I didn’t tie it all together with sex.

Having experienced an orgasm and having it relate to girls, just made everything feel so much more real. The truth of the matter was that now if I did this, there were consequences. As it was, my dick was straining against the seams of my pants.

Turning away from Sam’s clothes, I faced a corner. With trembling hands, I removed all my clothing and piled them in the corner I was facing. Gulping, I screwed up my courage and faced the dreaded garments.

I picked up the panties first. I was surprised to find that they were silky with the tiniest bit of lace at the hems. I think all the adrenaline running through me had made me less observant. Stepping into them, I once again felt that electric shock as they slid up my legs.

Getting to my pronounced member, I was faced with an issue. Did I just pull the panties up and over or did I tuck my stiff cock between my legs? I attempted the tuck and found it painfully impossible. Therefore, I had to leave it out.

As the silk caressed my aching shaft, I could feel it throb in response. My breathing became sharp and shallow. I gritted my teeth to control my reaction. I didn’t want to make a mess in my best friend’s underpants.

It took a long moment, but I soon was taking long inhalations. With every exhale, the wonderful endorphins were free to wash over me as I rode the excitement. When I felt halfway capable of moving again, I picked up the bra and worked it over my head like a shirt. I noticed that it did have hooks in the back, but without another pair of hands I didn’t think it would be wise to use them.

The pressure on my chest was very different than what I was used to. I even discovered I had a little excess skin to fill the cups. Looking down it was surreal. There were two distinct mounds on my chest. Neither were what I’d call large, but each was a modest handful.

Grabbing the dress, I looked for a zipper. Many of the dresses my mom had made for her clients had zippers that often required help from another person. Fortunately this one did not, so I slipped the dress on over my head and settled it on my frame. The neckline, of all things, made me feel rather exposed, especially since my padded chest was drawing the eye to that area. This, in turn, caused my dick to twitch.

Concentrating on calming down, I found it took less time than before. So I continued with the sandals. Sitting on the toilet, I learned that putting shoes on in a dress can be challenging, if you’ve never done it before.

The skirt restricted my thighs since I was sitting on much of the dress itself. Then when I freed the fabric, I felt very exposed spreading my legs in order to get better access to my feet.

Stopping, I took a moment and closed my eyes trying to recall watching my mom put on shoes when she had a skirt on. I then made a rough approximation of what I remembered and managed to get them on. The movements were an over-exaggeration of feminine motions. Lots of tilting and bending, while I kpt my knees together.

Looking back on it, the way I moved was more than likely a result of necessity. Women were restricted and still wanted to keep their modesty, so this was the obvious way to get that accomplished. But, at the time, it was a monumental act of girlish behavior from my perspective.

Something clicked in my brain, telling me that this was different. This was the first time I was in girl’s clothing, actually acting female. The revelation was heady. However, I tried not to dwell on it too much since Sam was probably wondering what was taking me so long. So I stood up and almost fell over.

Another detail I failed to take note of was the fact that these sandals had a small heel. It was just enough to shift my center of balance that I had to catch myself on the opposite wall. After a step or two, I got used to the footwear and reached for the final piece, the wig.

The hair was a bit darker than a strawberry blonde. Holding it up to my face, I saw there were a lot of brown strands mixed into the weave. That’s probably why I had thought it matched the shade of my own hair.

Swinging the tresses over one shoulder, I settled the cap over my own locks. Using the cap as a guide, I fitted the hairpiece around my ears and along my own hairline.

Peering into the bathroom mirror, I froze. Standing before me was a shocked girl staring back at me. She was rather attractive in that floral dress. Working my lips to speak, I could see her follow suit. This finally broke the spell and allowed me to recognize my own reflection.

My eyes, nose and lips were the same, but the wig reshaped how the edges of my face were seen. Turning my head, I examined how I looked, only to nearly jump out of my skin when the hair brushed the back of my neck. As it was, I wasn’t entirely sure I had stayed in my skin since this reflection was a different person.

Stepping back, I tried to get a better look at the rest of me. For starters, the bra was doing its thing. The padding helped raise up the front of the dress. Meanwhile, the cut of the dress gave me the illusion of hips since it flared out from my waist.

Shaking myself, I knew I needed to make it over to Sam’s room, but when I reached for the door knob my heart started racing. What if Sam’s mom was out there? What if someone had a camera? What if everyone knew I had dressed like this? Those were the more intelligible worries that ran through my head. But I had to remind myself, this was Sam’s idea. Why would she make fun of me?

With this small bit of rationality, I opened the door and stepped over to Sam’s room. Knocking on her bedroom door, I waited with held breath.

It felt like an eternity waiting outside her room, but it was probably only a few seconds. As the door swung open, I lowered my eyes not wanting to face what Sam’s reaction would be. Therefore, I only heard a gasp and saw a hairbrush drop to the floor.

Looking up, I noticed Sam was indeed in the other dress and her hair was down. She was most likely brushing it out from being in a ponytail. It looked really good that way, which made me smile involuntarily.

“Wow! You’re a babe!” she exclaimed.

“A what?” I was a bit bewildered.

Reaching out, she grabbed my arms and jerked me into the room. On the outside of her closet door was a full length mirror, which she stood me in front of. Side by side, we were a pair of attractive girls. My red locks and ruddier complexion was a complete contrast to Sam’s pearlescent skin and very dark, almost black, brunette hair. It was like a showcase of beauty.

“See!” She gestured to the reflection. “You are a total babe!”

“I-” I began, but got cut off.

“And you got boobies!” she gushed. Turning, her hands glomped onto my chest and proceeded to kneed the flesh and padding. “Isn’t this bra amazing?”

“Yes, it—” I attempted. This time I broke off because our faces were so close together. I could feel her breath on my lips. It carried a sweet mint smell. And to my shock, she was getting closer. Closing my eyes, I braced for whatever she had planned.

It was the pressure of her lips that I was aware of first. They moved over mine as if seeking with a desperate need. It took me a moment to respond and as my lips parted ever so slightly, her tongue joined in. Separating my mostly closed mouth, it found my tongue, urging it to action.

As one, we explored the other, pressing our bodies close. I could sense her blossoming breasts as they were crushed against my simulated ones. Her hands gripped my back so I responded in kind. And as our pelvises touched, we were both startled by my erection.

For Sam’s part, I don’t think she was expecting something there. As for me, the sensation was akin to an electric jolt. Our mouths were wet from our attempts at kissing passionately. We both wiped with the backs of our hands and giggled with nervous energy. Looking down, Sam spied my erection and smiled. Raising her eyes to mine, her smile took on a more devilish quality.

In a husky whisper she confessed, “I should now tell you my secret.”

I gulped and stuttered, “Okay.”

With one hand she cupped my cock and rubbed it with gentle strokes. “I really, really, really like-” Just then, we heard Sam’s mom coming up the stairs.

Wide eyed, I whispered in a panic, “My erection! Your mom can’t find me all hard!”

Pointing to the bed, Sam said, “Sit down. And use this.” She threw one of her pillows in my lap.

I settled it in place when her mom opened the door. “Samantha dear, I just wanted to check on-” That’s when she saw us. 

In our rush to conceal the very adult thing that was going on between us, we sort of overlooked the fact that I was dressed up, as a girl, in her daughter’s clothes.

Sam was the first to recover. In a strained voice, she said, “Hi mom! We were just playing dress up.”


	11. An Understanding

Sam’s mom pressed her lips tight, contemplating what was before her. I could not read the expression playing across her face. Finally she spoke, “Samantha can you please come here? I need to speak with you for a moment.” The odd thing was that she didn’t sound angry.

I shared a look with Sam before she got up and headed to the door. She gave me one last glance before stepping out into the hallway to join her mom.

Before closing the door, Sam’s mom said to me. “We’ll only be a minute, Henry.”

Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes. I think I forgot to breathe since things were getting fuzzy on the edges and it felt as though I was looking down a tunnel.

I guess she saw the state I was in and attempted to reassure me. “Don’t worry dear. I’m not mad or anything. I just need to address something with Sam.” This did allow me to rediscover my lungs, but I was still jittery from the shock.

Closing the door behind her, I was left to my own devices. Turns out, I didn’t need the pillow any more. The abrupt appearance of Sam’s mom left me limp and very terrified. I could only make out whispered mumbling as I wrung my hands to use up the nervous energy I was infused with.

It seemed like ages before I was joined once again by Sam. She had a bewildered look about her. Seeing me she smiled.

“Well?” My voice came out as part question and part plea.

“Um,” she began, “Mom said she was proud of me.”

“What? How did that happen?” I was starting to realize why she looked so confused. I was sharing in the odd reaction.

She went on to explain that her parents supported communities like mine. They were also not sure how to broach the subject with Sam. So she was thrilled to have a daughter who made the decision without them, to support a friend who acted different. This was a long and roundabout way to say they helped the LGBTQ community through the charity department of their business.

That business, it turns out, made clothes. That is why it was so important that Sam’s mom got my mom to fix a dress. Turns out the designer they worked with refused to have anyone work on their clothing line without them there. And that designer was out of the country and there was a major fashion show coming up.

When one of the models ripped the dress, they couldn’t use any of the in-house tailors to work on it, since word would get back to the designer. So someone not connected to the industry that didn’t know the designer was necessary.

The long and short of it was that she would help Sam and I with clothing if we wanted it. She’d just need some sizes and it would be handled.

Sam finished explaining then whispered, “We probably should continue saying you like to dress up. Since we probably could get in trouble for what we were really doing.”

The thing was, I rather liked the feeling of the dress. Everything about it was stimulating. Part of me thought it was wrong, but that added to its appeal. “Yeah, I don’t see the harm in it.” Then I thought about my mom. “But I’d prefer not to say anything to my mom. I’m not sure she’d be okay with it.”

Sam furrowed her brow. “That makes sense. Of course, I think she might already know.”

Now my eyebrows rose. “What do you mean?”

“Well, my mom mentioned that your mom told her that you were acting weird and to keep an eye out.” Sam shrugged. She then gestured to the dress I wore. “I guess this could count as weird.”

“But I was acting that way because I saw her, you know?” I pointed to our crotches for emphasis.

Sam made a slow nod. “Yeah, that can make it hard to have a conversation with her.” She bit her lip in thought, but then she perked up. “Maybe we can tell my parents that she doesn’t know and you’re not sure how to tell her about your dressing?”

I gave this some thought. “Well, it’s not a lie. I mean it’s not why I was acting strange in the first place and I can’t imagine it would be any easier talking about wearing a dress.” I looked hard into Sam’s eyes. “You sure they won’t tell my mom?”

“I even bet mom won’t tell daddy if I ask.” Sam added.

That did bring up a good point. I had never seen Sam’s dad in the house. There were pictures about the house with a tall powerfully built man posing with Sam and her mom.

As if reading my mind, Sam said, “Daddy travels a lot and doesn’t stay too long when he does come home.” Reaching out, she took my hand in hers. “If it helps, we can go talk to her together.”

I squeezed her hand in return. Both our hands were clammy from the encounter with her mom. “Okay, let’s go.” I started to toe her to the hallway when she pulled back. Turning I asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I think you need a name,” she replied.

“A name? But I already have one.” I was perplexed.

Shaking her head she said, “No, a girl’s name. I think it would sound more believable.”

“Oh,” was my only response.

“How about Lilly?” She pointed to one of the flowers on the dress I had on. It did have a bit of a lily shape to it. It was hard to tell with all the other overlapping flowers.

“It sounds, nice,” I admitted. It also had the bonus of not being any of the names of girls at my school. I know it’s common to share a name. We actually had two Elizabeths and three Mikes just in our class alone. But it was great not to have anyone to compare myself to. I could define how a Lilly behaved and it wouldn’t be wrong in my head.

“Okay!” Sam announced with authority, “Lilly it is.”

Marching hand in hand, we went to find her mom and enact our plan. We found her in the office, busy typing on a laptop. From the doorway, Sam called to her. Pausing for a brief moment, she finished typing out a sentence, and then turned in her chair to face us. “Yes Samantha? Is there something you need?”

“Lilly and I wanted to take you up on that clothing offer.” Sam ventured.

“Lilly?” Eyebrows raised, she looked between Sam and I. “Ah!” She brightened in understanding. Directing her attention to me, she asked, “Is this the name you prefer when you are dressed?”

I personally didn’t want to tell Sam’s mom that we just came up with it like a minute ago, so I nodded. “Yes ma'am.” Then I lowered my gaze to the floor.

“Oh, you are a proper little darling aren’t you?” There was tenderness to her voice. “But I’m sorry Samantha, you were saying?”

“Clothes?” Sam prompted.

“Yes…” this time her mom drew out the word. “Well, we don’t exactly make children’s clothes. But we do have partnerships with a number of retailers. If we send them Ms. Lilly’s sizes, I’m sure they could send over something.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Morgan.” I felt a flutter hearing my new name.

“It’s nothing, darling. Besides, that will only be for the first outfit. I’m sure you girls would prefer to shop, after all.” Her words were matter of fact.

In actuality, we were skipping to a much more advanced stage of dressing than what I was prepared for. Picking up on my nervousness, Sam made an effort to slow things down.

“Uh, mom? Henry’s mom doesn’t know about Lilly. It might be hard to shop if-” she was cut off by her mom.

“You haven’t told her, my dear?” I felt the full weight of her attention.

“No ma’am. I don’t want her upset with me.” This was all perfectly true. However, my own tears caught me off guard. Being the only other family I had, I was faced with the reality of her disapproval which shook me to my core. I began trembling.

It caught me off guard to be pressed to Mrs. Morgan’s bosom. I hadn’t even noticed that she crossed the distance between us. “Shh. Don’t cry, child. I can see you are not quite ready.” Pulling away, she kept her hands on my shoulders. “Look, we will be here for you. But I assure you that your mom will love you regardless. Trust me.” Part of me wanted to rebel against being referred to as a child. However, I was in a very vulnerable state, and her assurance buoyed my emotions, which allowed me to accept her words.

Sam thought this might be a good time to slip in another concession from her mom. “Mom? Can we not tell dad about Henry?”

“Now Samantha I-” she began, but this time Sam cut her off.

“Remember how he acted with Tommy, and Jose, and even that neighbor boy?” Sam was visibly upset. “He just overreacts around boys.”

“That’s because he’s trying to protect you.” Her mom explained.

“No!” Sam pointed an accusing finger. “He scares them.”

At that moment, I realized I had never met Mr. Morgan. I looked between mother and daughter to get more information. 

Sighing, Mrs. Morgan acquiesced, “I suppose he did go a little above and beyond with that neighbor boy.”

“Mom! He showed him his knife collection, while talking about me.” Sam planted her hands on her hips.

Her mom tried to lessen the incident. “I wouldn’t say that is exactly how it happened.”

Sam’s eyes went flat along with her tone. “I was in the room.”

“Okay, okay.” She held up her hands in defense. “He can get a bit enthusiastic when you are around. And I was sort of delaying talking to him about Henry until he got back from his trip overseas.”

The sweetness flooded back into Sam as she clasped her hands and gave her mom a pleading look. “Then please, can we just treat Henry as Lilly?”

Mrs. Morgan returned to her office chair rubbing her face. “Samantha, you’re asking a lot here.” Dropping her hand, she gave us both a once over. “Well, she is pretty enough.” This was directed at me. “I just don’t know why you have so much trouble making friends with girls.” This was aimed at Sam.

With a massive smile, Sam reached out and grabbed my arm. “But I have!”

Throwing her hands in the air in defeat, Mrs. Morgan moaned, “Fine, I won’t tell your father.” We were about to turn and leave when she continued, “But! He will have to tell his…I mean her mom, soon.”

“But-” Sam’s face took on the look of a kicked puppy.

Shaking her head her mom declared, “No buts. This is too important to just be a secret among us. Her mom has to know. Besides, what do you think your father would say when a boy comes to the house, runs up to your room, and another girl pops out? He’s not stupid, Samantha.”

We were all silent for a long moment. Finally, I broke the quiet. “I’ll tell her.” Two other pairs of eyes turned in my direction. Turning to Sam, I said, “Your mom is right. If this is important to me then I have to tell her.”

In time, we returned to Sam’s room with a lot to think about. On one hand, it was sexually stimulating for me to be dressed and treated as a girl. I also suspected that Sam came up with this plan as a work around for her father. And still there was a part of me that was perfectly fine being a guy. All I knew was that I had an interesting talk ahead of me with my mother.


	12. The Girl Talk

Picking me up from Sam’s house, my mom appeared to be a bit flush and full of energy. She even grabbed me in a playful dance and spun me around. I was back in my own clothes by then and puzzled at her mood.

At home, we didn’t talk much. I was a bundle of nerves trying to figure out how to bring up dressing like a girl. For her part, she was humming and whistling as she went about her business. I didn’t want to bring her spirits down so decided against mentioning anything that night.

However, once I went to bed, I found I couldn’t get to sleep. My mind ran through all sorts of scenarios of how she would kick me out of the house or disown me. That’s why I was awake when I heard it again. As I crept out of bed and into the hallway, it became more distinct. Moaning was coming from my mom’s room.

I don’t think of myself as a pervert, but my cock was standing at attention. With morbid curiosity, I tip-toed to her door and looked in. Peering around the corner, I watched as she stuffed fingers inside her wet pussy.

After her moans reached a crescendo with her thighs squeezing close, I watched her get up and position a pillow in the middle of her bed. She was completely naked, unlike before. Her full rounded breasts bobbed as she fixed the pillow in place. Next, she opened the drawer on her nightstand and once again produced the big blue fake dick. Holding it upright against the pillow, she proceeded to impale herself on the thick phallus.

Like a magic trick, I watched her body engulf the full length of the shaft. My own penis pulsed in response. Inch by inch, the cock disappeared accompanied by my mom’s guttural moans. Soon, all I could see was her ass on the pillow.

Sitting straight-backed, I couldn’t see her hands, but they were doing something to her chest. In moments, she was bouncing. With every rise of her hips, I could once again glimpse the sex toy. At one point, she reached back and stuck a finger in her own ass.

By now, it felt as though my prick had its own heartbeat. Throbbing in time with my mom’s movements, I dared not touch my pulsing member.

Tearing my view away was one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. I knew I didn’t want to have my junk explode while standing in my mom’s doorway. Plus, the fact it was my own mother told me, deep down, I needed to avoid an orgasm at all costs.

Creeping back to my room and into my bed was a tricky endeavor. Every move I made caused ripples of sensations due to my jutting erection. I managed to make it work by pulling down my underwear and pajama bottoms just below my nuts to let my stiff organ hang free. This proved to be a problem once I was in bed. I couldn’t just pull up my pants or cover myself with the sheet, since the texture of the fabric almost felt painful when it came in contact with my genitals.

Unfortunately, I had the urge to touch it, if for no other reason than to release the pressure. The thing was, I wasn’t sure how to masturbate. Last time it just sort of happened to me in a dream.

By now I was sweating. I could still hear mom from down the hall and my dick was on the verge of doing something messy. Reaching to my nightstand, I found some scraps of material. They were going to be used for a tent for the Joes I never finished. I gripped it tight, thinking it could work to catch whatever came out of me.

Shutting my eyes, I shoved the cloth onto the tip of my penis while with the other hand I took hold of my shaft. I did my best to think of Sam as she had rubbed me in her dress. I can’t say the image of mom naked didn’t work its way in there, how could it be avoided? She was after all, doing something similar at the same moment.

Thankfully, it was enough to break the stalemate happening below my waist. I shuddered as I shot rope after rope of sticky cream into my makeshift sponge.

Each throb was an electric shock to the system. It didn’t take long for the scrap I was holding to reach maximum absorption and I could feel my warm cream on my hand and stomach. I was afraid it would never end and my room would be drowned in my semen. But as before, it subsided. I waited like that until I could no longer hear mom before I attempted to clean up. Needless to say, I didn’t get to sleep right away.

It was rather surprising I didn’t have a sexual dream that night. Rather it involved me putting on a magic show. I’d step in a box and then step out wearing something different. I’m pretty sure most of the outfits were things I made for my action figures. I recall both the Robin Hood suit and the banana suit.

In the morning, I was happy to see I had done a pretty good job cleaning up. I was nervous last night so hadn’t turned on any lights and had done everything in the dark. Going through my regular routine had me facing mom at the table for breakfast.

“Hi Hen. Did you sleep well?” Mom was as cheerful as she was yesterday.

I was intent on my cereal bowl, trying not to look in her direction. I did manage a soft, “It was okay.”

Oblivious to my mood, she carried on. “Henry, you know when a boy and a girl like each other they want to spend more time around each other?”

What was she getting at? Did she know what Sam and I were doing yesterday?

“They even get close, and may kiss each other.” She seemed to be careful at picking out her words. It was as if she was selecting them for display. “That’s because they feel a certain way about each other.”

She was talking about Sam and I! She even knew about the kissing. I needed to say something to stop her from preventing me from seeing Sam. So without thinking I said the first thing that came to mind. “Mom! I like dressing like a girl!” I think my thought was, if Sam and I were both girls and we were kissing then it wouldn’t be bad? Of course, that has its own issues. Although, my exclamation did make the room quiet. Raising my head, I peered over at mom.

She had one hand over her mouth and looked concerned. Finally, she lowered her hand to the table and sighed, “I thought it might not be just a phase.”

This took me off guard. “What?” I asked before thinking. Did every adult expect me to be in girls’ clothing?

She nodded, “Do you remember buying panties when you were younger?”

I scrunched my forehead in concentration. What did that have to-? Then my eyes went wide realizing she was making a connection between then and now. I gave my own nod to show I had remembered. In my mind, it was a bit different.

Back then I just liked the feel of something unusual. This time around, I was following Sam’s lead and we needed to say something to avoid getting in trouble. But from my mom’s perspective, this appeared to be a pattern with me. One that didn’t seem to make her angry so I went along with it.

“Do you do it often?” I think she wanted to work out how I was getting my hands on girls’ apparel.

“When I’m at Sam’s.”

This stunned her for a second. “Does she know?”

“Yes, and her mom,” I admitted. “In fact, Mrs. Morgan said I should tell you.”

Mom took in a deep breath. “Okay, okay…okay.” It was like she was testing out the word to see how it sounded. “And they are not upset with you?”

I shook my head, paused, and then added, “Well, they think it would probably be bad to tell Sam’s dad, but otherwise they’re fine with it.”

Tapping her lips with one finger, she thought out loud. “I should call Nancy about this and talk things over with her.” Studying me, she then said, “Look Hen. I know you have these…urges. But you can’t go to school wearing a dress.”

This was okay for me since I had no intention of going to school in a dress. “Okay?” I agreed with an edge of confusion.

“Good, good. Great.” She had moved on to a new set of words. “I’m going to call Sam’s mom. She’d know a bit more about this, I think, since she already knows.” She took a moment to collect herself. “I can’t promise you anything, Hen. But we’ll get through this.”

I was thrilled that was easier than I thought. “Great! Can I go play? I’m getting a lot done with the Durby costume for Sam.”

“Yes, okay. Just clean up your bowl and cup.” She waved at the remains of my breakfast.

Grabbing my dishes up, I took them to the kitchen sink as I heard my mom pick up the phone and dial. I was near to the work room when I caught the first few words of mom’s conversation.

“Hello Nancy, this is Heather. Henry’s mom. I just spoke to Henry about him dressing up?” She paused listening to the other end of the phone call. “That’s right. Lilly, you say?”

The rest was a bit muffled for me to make out as I set to work. Cutting the last few pieces, I was now able to pin everything together to see how it would all work on the doll. By the time I put the last pin in place, mom had joined me and was ready to talk.

“Hey mom. Look.” I held the doll out to her. 

She took it gingerly and rotated it in her hands, examining it from every angle. I could tell she was preoccupied since she didn’t give me pointers right away. With a deep inhalation, she set the doll aside and looked squarely in my direction. “You’d tell me if you were unhappy, wouldn’t you, Hen?”

I gave her a confused look. “I suppose so?”

She gestured around the sewing room. “Just because I make dresses doesn’t mean you have to wear dresses to make me love you any more.”

I glanced around the room. Frankly, that thought hadn’t crossed my mind. Turning back to her I said, “Actually, I was afraid if I wore dresses you’d love me less.”

Finally, she broke into tears. Between her sobs, she asked, “I didn’t do this to you, did I?”

Jumping from my chair, I ran to her to give her a hug. “No mommy. You didn’t make me like dresses.”

She buried her face in my hair. I just patted her and held her as she shook with her crying. I never had been in this position before. Mom was always the one to hold me when I broke down in tears. All I knew to do was copy her example making soft shushing sounds and assuring her things would be all right.

It took some time, but the water works eventually stopped. She wiped at her eyes and cleared her throat. “I don’t think you should dress like a girl all the time.”

“Okay,” I agreed. As it was, I wasn’t sure I could dress like a girl all the time. If for no other reason than because I kept getting an erection.

“Nancy… sorry, Sam’s mom said it would be fine if you dressed up when you went to see Sam.” She paused, as if finding courage. “I suppose you could also dress up when you are at home, but you probably will need to stay as a boy when you go to school.”

That was no problem on my end. I couldn’t even imagine dressing up and going to school as a girl. Besides I didn’t want to experience what I could remember from kindergarten. I nodded in agreement, “That sounds fine.”

“And that won’t make you unhappy?” I think she was trying to get an understanding of how I had been coping.

“Sure, I like dressing like a boy too,” I admitted.

This was hard for her to digest. “So, you like being a boy and a girl?”

“Sure!” I reached over and picked up the doll that had been forgotten and held it up. “I can be cool like Durby or awesome like one of my Joes.”

“I see.” Her voice still sounded uncertain. “So you would be fine if you just stayed as a boy?”

That made me stop. I went back and remembered Sam mentioning her dad. Then I recalled being sexually aroused while wearing girl’s clothes. This was then followed by Sam and her mom saying how pretty I looked and the feeling that went with that. Given all these new experiences, I was not at all sure I wanted to give them up. “I think I want to keep trying to be a girl as well. It feels different. A good different.”

Mom bit her lip in thought. Finally, she asked, “Would you mind talking to another adult about this?”

“Who?” I asked.

“I don’t know yet. Someone who knows something about all of this. Someone who can help make me understand.” Her words were cautious but full of warmth.

I looked down at the doll in my hand. My fingers played with the edges of the fabric. I was a little scared to talk with an adult I didn’t know, but if it made things better for mom I guess I could do it. Facing her, I whispered, “I suppose so.”

Seeing the fear I had, she held my face between her hands. “Hen, I’m not mad or upset. I just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing here. You’re the most important thing to me and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything in my power to help you.”

I don’t know why I started crying. I guess it sunk in that she wouldn’t kick me out of the house for this.

Pulling me close, she wrapped her arms around me, freeing my face so that I could bury it in her shoulder. Rocking me slow and steady, we were back in familiar territory. Shushing me, she whispered, “It’s going to be okay. And to think I thought I had big news.”

I separated from her and gave her an inquisitive look. “What do you mean?”

She chuckled, “This morning when I was talking about boys and girls. I wanted to let you know I met someone and wanted to see if you were ready to meet them too.” She shrugged. “I think we can wait on that though.”

I felt awful thinking I could be the reason for ruining a possible friendship for her. Then it clicked. “It’s a guy?” I queried.

“Yes, his name is Eric.” Her face lit up mentioning his name. “We met twice. The same time you went to Sam’s house.”

More pieces started coming together. The way my body reacted when kissing Sam and seeing my mom masturbating on those days. I wanted to say, no. I was the only person who should be special in her life. But I then tried to imagine life without Sam and an empty hole filled my chest. I couldn’t do that to mom. In a tentative voice, I said, “I can meet him if that would make you happy.”

I can only call the look she gave me as being proud. “How did I get so lucky to get a kid like you?”

I shrugged and gave her a goofy grin. “I don’t know?”

She burst out laughing and tweaked my nose. “You little snot. You’re definitely not humble.” Reaching down, she took the doll from me. “Now let’s take a look at this little lady and get her prepared to fight crime!”

Running over to my work station, I pulled out a reference drawing Sam had given me and brought it over to show mom. She adjusted a few of the pins, but to my surprise she didn’t think any of the fabric shapes needed to be re-cut.

“You’re getting good at this,” she announced. “I think we can start sewing.”

With her guidance, she instructed me on the best way to assemble each piece. There we were, mother and son making clothes for a doll for a girl.


	13. The Pretty Doctor

Later that week, mom and I found ourselves sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Jessica Sanchez, a child psychologist that Sam’s mother recommended. The room was done up in earth tones with beige walls and couches, and dark brown wooden side tables. In one corner, though, was a riot of colors since it was filled with all manner of toys. I was ready to go look at them when Dr. Sanchez came in to meet us.

“Hello,” her smile shone through her words. “You must be Heather and Henry. So happy to meet you.” She shook my mom’s hand. She had a dark complexion with rich brown hair, brown eyes, and copper skin. She wore a charcoal skirt suit with a pale blue blouse, navy belt and shoes, and some gold jewelry. I was impressed as she reached out to shake my hand. While clasping my sweaty palm, she asked, “Would you like to come in the other room and talk, Henry?” .

I looked to mom for advice, but she only gave a one shoulder shrug as if to say that it was up to me. Facing Dr. Sanchez, I gave her a shrug of my own. “I suppose so?” I had never been addressed this way by an adult I didn’t know, so wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Great!” she announced, giving my hand a squeeze. Turning to the door she came from, she led me to her office. As I looked back to mom, she reassured me, “Don’t worry. Your mom will be out here the whole time. And if you want her with us, all you have to do is ask.” 

This did put me at ease as we walked down a short hallway and then into another room. This one had a desk, couch, and chair, along with other things that make up a room. There was a lamp in one corner, some shelves and a plant in another, and some filing cabinets in a third corner near the desk. There was even a painting of a beach up on the wall.

She gestured to the couch and chair. I chose the chair since the couch looked like one of those that would swallow you if you sat on it. I was still a bit scared. I didn’t want to feel afraid and trapped. Meanwhile, she rolled her desk chair from out behind the desk and grabbed some sort of leather notebook and pen from the desk. Sitting on her office chair, she once again gave me a warm smile.

“So, Henry. Do you know why you’re talking with me?” She made it sound as if she was very curious, almost as if she didn’t know why we were talking and wanted to find out.

I lifted my shoulders with a non-committal movement. “Probably because I dressed like a girl?” This was ventured as a guess. I know mom and I spoke about it enough so I couldn’t imagine it was about anything else.

“Mmm, how do you feel about that?” She was writing some notes down as she spoke.

“About what?” Now I was beginning to think I guessed wrong.

“About talking to someone about dressing like a girl,” she clarified.

“Oh! Uh, a little embarrassed, I guess?” I started fidgeting with my hands not sure what to do with them.

“Ah, now are you embarrassed that you dressed like a girl or the fact that you are speaking with someone?” The scratch of the pen seemed to be really loud on her pad.

“I guess the second?”

“Okay? So, what do you like about girl’s clothes?” Her tone was casual, as if she was mentioning something she saw in the park.

“Well, they’re pretty. And they feel nice.” Since she wasn’t asking about any specific outfit, it was kind of hard to respond. I think she picked up on that.

Tapping her pen on her lips, she appeared deep in thought. “What do you think of my clothes?”

“Um, it’s a nice outfit. The gray in your blazer and skirt go well with the blues in the rest of your outfit. I do find it odd that the metal buckle in your belt and jewelry are gold while the buckle on the strap of your heels are silver.” I didn’t want to offend her so added. “They still look nice and really expensive.” Now that I had another moment to actually study her, I noticed her make-up and nails. “The red on your lips and fingernails also look nice. They’re dark without being too bright and flashy.” I rubbed a fingertip on my eyelid and noted, “Your eyeshadow is hard to notice, but it does bring out your eyes.” Speaking of which, her eyes grew considerably larger.

“Well! That is rather observant of you.” She hadn’t written any notes through my recitation. Her eyes grew glassy for a second while it looked as though she was doing mental math. Then she changed subjects. “How do you feel about boys?”

“They’re okay, I suppose.”

“Would you say you like them?”

“Sure, some of the guys at school are fun to talk to and play with.”

“What about kissing?” Her question was sly yet sudden.

My heart thudded as I imagined Sam and I kissing with great enthusiasm in her room. My voice squeaked as I asked, “What about kissing?”

“Kissing boys,” her tone was flat.

I scrunched up my face. “Ew, why would I do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Some girls like kissing boys. Would you like to kiss a girl?” She leaned in as if sharing a confidence.

I, on the other hand, turned a bright shade of red and stared down at my clasped hands watching the thumbs wrestle. The room was getting warmer. Clearing my throat, I responded, “Can I have some water?”

Giving me a knowing smile, she winked. “Sure, let me go get that.” She left the room for a minute to go get the water.

While she was away, I took deep breaths and rubbed my palms on the legs of my jeans, trying to get them dry. Stepping back into the room, she handed me a small paper cup with cool water. When I finished, she pointed to a trash can off to the side of the couch. The chair had blocked it from my vision as I entered the room. After throwing the cup away, we were once again seated.

This time she had a different approach. “Do you have a different name when you get dressed up as a girl?”

“Lilly.” The words were out of my mouth before I could think about it.

“Does Lilly like anything different than you?” She was not staring directly at me, so things were not as intense as before.

“No, since I’m Lilly.” That was an odd question.

“Of course, of course, sorry I was just curious. But she does look different, right?”

I scratched my head. “Well, yeah, she’s a girl.”

“How would you describe her?” Dr. Sanchez was back to scribbling in her notebook.

“Um, she’s pretty and a bit shy.” This was from Mrs. Morgan’s observations when I was all dressed up and answering her questions. “Oh, and she has red hair.”

Raising her eyebrows, the doctor queried, “Red hair?”

I nodded. “Yeah, my friend Sam, she had a red haired wig. And when I put it on it, I looked like a different person.”

“Now would you say Lilly is more or less shy than Henry?” She imitated a scale with two sides with her pen hand.

Recalling the way I felt outside Sam’s room combined with my reactions to her mom I had to admit, “Lilly does seem a little shyer than Henry.” It was odd talking about myself with my own name.

“And do you think that is good or bad?” This time she used a direct stare.

I leaned my head from side to side. “I don’t know. It is just, different.”

Nodding in a slow deliberate manner, she digested this information and then took a moment to write more down. Finally she spoke, “How do you think Lilly should look when she’s older?”

I returned with a blank expression not understanding the question.

Seeing this she added, “Do you think she’d look different? Maybe grow boobs?” She made a slight nod to her own chest.

My blush returned with a vengeance. I managed to mumble, “Yeah, I guess. That’s what girls look like.”

Then things got weird. The doctor asked, “How do you think Henry would like having boobs?”

I was now picturing myself with large breasts trying to put on a shirt. The image was so ridiculous, I snorted. “I think he’d have a tough time trying to wear shirts.”

Dr. Sanchez giggled along with me. “I would suppose that could be a problem. Hmm? Okay, how would you describe Henry?”

Why was she asking me this? I was sitting right here. Looking down I rattled off, “He’s a boy wearing a shirt with a stick man on it, blue jeans, and white and black sneakers.” I threw my hands up. “You know, just normal.”

“So he’s not pretty?” She waved her pen up and down to encompass my whole frame.

Rubbing my chin, I answered, “Not really.”

“And is that a good or bad thing?”

I switched from my chin to the back of my head and gave an awkward open handed gesture with my other hand. “I don’t know. It’s just different.”

Holding the pen in a fist she leaned to one side resting an elbow on the arm of her chair. Upon her knuckles she then leaned her head while contemplating me across the room. “So, do you like different? What’s different about you?” This was not asked in an accusatory way. Rather it rang of true interest.

This made me pause. Placing my own elbows on the arms of the chair, I rested my head on my two fists as I thought. Unlike previous questions, she gave me the time to think. I imagined all my classmates and what hobbies I had that were different than theirs. The obvious one was, of course, creating the clothing for my G.I. Joe figures and the Durby outfit for Sam’s doll. With nothing else in mind, I described my favorite pastime in great detail. I named off every costume I could remember as well as plans I had for future projects.

She would ask the occasional question, but for the most part let me talk. She did however, ask a few more questions when I got to Durby like, “Did the doll’s form seem nicer than my own toys?” and “Would I like to recreate Lilly in doll form?”

For the first question I repeated my generic, “I don’t know, it’s just different,” line, while I had to admit making a Lilly design had some interesting challenges for me that might be fun to tackle.

The last question I could recall her being serious about was when she questioned, “Is being different a good thing?”

I was about to give my standard response when it sunk in. Personally, I liked variety in things. That’s partly why I made so many different costumes after all. So with a firm confidence, I agreed, “Yes, it’s very good.”

“I see.” And with one last note in her book she announced, “Well, that wasn’t so bad was it?” We’re all done!”

“Oh.” To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect, but she was right it seemed like the time flew by. 

Standing up, she guided me out to the waiting room where mom was reading a magazine. Seeing us she put it down as I rushed and gave her a hug. Reminding myself that I wasn’t a little kid anymore, I straightened and assured her, “Things went well.”

Mom gave a look over to Dr. Sanchez, who nodded. Handing me her magazine she gestured for me to sit down as she stood and got closer to the doctor. Addressing Dr. Sanchez she asked, “Well?”

“He’s a very bright and perceptive child. I think right now he’s exploring the concept of gender roles. There’s nothing like body issues or gender-dysphoria in his behavior. Rather it seems like a normal case of curiosity.” She had her notes with her and consulted them. “I did notice he had a very refined sense of awareness.”

“Is that bad?” Mom sounded worried.

“Oh, not at all Mrs. Miller. Rather, it demonstrates a rather high intelligence. Over the phone, you mentioned that there may be plans to have him dress up more?” There was no accusation in her voice, just a professional inquiry.

“Yes, sort of… I’m not really sure.” There was a moment of silence. “What should I do about it?”

“I don’t like to tell parents how to treat their child. Ultimately, it is up to you on how you raise them. They will often act as reflections of their progenitors so I hesitate to persuade and insert my own values.” She put a hand on mom’s shoulder to calm her down. “But, I will say I’ve noticed that when an intelligent child’s curiosity is blocked, they may tend to act out in other ways. At this point, you do know how he might act out.”

“So it’s like the devil you know scenario?” mom asked.

Dr. Sanchez didn’t respond right away. When she did, it was slow yet with a great deal of thought behind each word. “I wouldn’t label what Henry is going through as a devil. It appears more like a new creative way of expression. Granted, most kids don’t need to go this far in their explorations of gender, but it seems as though he’s not one to take life by half measures.”

Mom stayed quiet for a minute. “So you don’t think it would hurt him if he did dress up? And if I limited when it was acceptable?”

“Absolutely. In fact, giving him a structure for his actions will go a long way in his development. Many children I see and work with crave structure in their life. And those with true gender identity issues need the constructs of the opposite gender. By that, I mean they want to be treated as the opposing sex at all times. At most, I’d say Henry may be gender fluid.” Dr. Sanchez shook my mom’s hand. “Honestly, Henry is one of the most well-adjusted kids I’ve had the pleasure to meet. And a great deal of his success is thanks to good parenting. I don’t believe he’s damaged, nor should you.”

Tears sprang forth from mom’s eyes as she gave Dr. Sanchez a tight hug. “Thank you so much Dr. Sanchez. Ever since the death of Henry’s father I… I just needed to here that.”

Dr. Sanchez rubbed mom’s back with soothing circles. “Please call me Jessica. Remember Heather, I’m always available. If you have any questions just call. It may take me a bit to respond, but I’ll try to get back to you in a day. It takes a strong person to raise a child on their own. And you’re doing it beautifully.”

Pulling tissues from her purse, mom blew her nose and wiped her eyes. “Speaking of being alone, I have sort of met someone and was thinking about introducing them to Henry. Do you think now is a bad time?”

“Were you going to introduce them before you found out about Henry’s dressing?”

“Yes? At least I was about to talk to Henry about it.”

“Then I’d say, have that conversation.” The doctor gestured toward me. “We are complex creatures and don’t just handle one issue or event at a time. We can and do process so many-” she broke off, seeing me put the final touches to my scene. “Henry? What’s happening over there?”

All the magazines on the various side tables were now displayed in precise fan shapes. I had grouped like magazines together and ordered them by their dates. Looking at the doctor I replied, “I figured since you are helping us, I should make your waiting room look nice.”

“Oh, very good. Thank you very much for your assistance. Sorry for interrupting.” Both of the ladies had huge grins as they watched me finish my work. 

Finally, mom broke their silence. “Well, I’m sure you have other work or patients you need to prepare for.”

“Oh, yes. It was a pleasure to meet the two of you.” Again they repeated the hand shake.

“Come on, Hen. We need to get going.”

“Okay mom.” I placed the last magazine down carefully making sure it lined up with all the others. 

As we walked out of the waiting room, Dr. Sanchez called out. “Bye Henry. And if you see pretty Lilly say hi for me!”

I waved back. “Okay Dr. Sanchez. I will.”

As we headed to the car, mom asked, “I guess I better meet Lilly?” She gave me a sly smile. “I hear she’s a looker. I bet she gets it from her mom.”

“Totally!” I gave her a thumbs up. “Sam even said she was a babe! But I think you’re still prettier.”

Mom actually blushed. “Great, now I have a son who’s a sweet-talker and a daughter who’s a babe. I’m going to have my hands full.”


	14. The Copy

That weekend we made plans to see how dressing up would work. Earlier in the week, mom called Mrs. Morgan with all my sizes and she sent over an outfit along with the wig I wore. The outfit seemed pretty simple. It consisted of light blue shorts with white flowers embroidered on the back pockets, a white and blue paisley top with lace on the hems, some white sandals, white panties, and a white training bra.

When I mentioned this to Sam at school, she admitted that she helped pick it out. The idea of dressing made me nervous and excited all at the same time, but Sam was practically bouncing with her enthusiasm.

“Mom said we can even go shopping when you come over. It’ll be awesome!” She gave me a quick hug. Then her eyes popped wide and she bounced on her toes. “Oh! And I did more work on that new character I came up with. You know, the one that looks like you.”

“Really?” I had almost forgotten about the character with all the changes that had been going on. “Do you have it with you?”

She shook her head, a smirk playing across her lips. “Nope, you’ve got to wait.” Then her eyes narrowed in a mischievous way. “Better yet, I’ll only show Lilly.”

I stuck my lower lip out at this. “No fair.”

“Sorry buddy, but that’s how it is.” She poked me in the nose. “You may be my boyfriend, but I only share all my secrets with my girlfriend.” She then turned and skipped away.

The shock of hearing her call me her boyfriend was like an electric jolt to my system. I was both ecstatic and scared. It was as if an intense burst of warm heat was radiating from my chest and I couldn’t stop smiling.

I literally spent the rest of the week in a haze. All my attention was on Sam and her smiles. We even managed to sneak a kiss every now and then.

Then the weekend arrived. Mom had washed and laid out Lilly’s outfit for me on the bed. Taking off my clothes I stepped into the panties as before. And just like every other time, my penis responded with great interest. However, unlike the other times, I started thinking about everyone who would see me, mom, neighbors, Sam and her mom, everyone at the mall. I found it a little hard to breathe as I shook from the fear. All these thoughts subdued my erection like a magic trick.

Thinking about it, there was one other time it had been under control. That was when Mrs. Morgan had walked in and found me dressed up as Lilly. Either way, I took advantage of my dick’s flaccid state and tucked it between my legs.

The rest of the outfit was uneventful, save for the wig. Putting it on, I had an urge to look at myself in a mirror. I, unfortunately, only had a small mirror on the inside of my closet. Even still, I had to take a look. Staring back at me was once again Lilly.

A shy smile appeared on her face and in a softer voice I said, “Hi Lilly.” A blush reddened her cheeks at this greeting. This was too weird. I pulled away and closed the door.

Grabbing the knob to leave my room, I was seized by my anxiety once again. Frozen, I knew if I left this room, my world was going to change. But that’s what I wanted, didn’t I? Frankly, I had spent so little time as Lilly that I was not entirely sure.

Steeling my resolve, I headed out to find mom. I found her in the sewing room working on a dress. As I stepped in, she spotted me and stopped her sewing machine.

“Ready to go, Hen-” She froze as she got a full look at me. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide. Moving her lips, it took a couple of tries before she managed to make sound come out. “You look, so…pretty. Is that really you, Henry?” She blinked then corrected herself, “Sorry, I meant Lilly.”

I nodded then looked down. Calling me pretty and using a girl’s name made my skin tingle. In my whisper soft voice I said, “I just came to say I was ready.”

As if in thick liquid, mom reached out a hand. The motion was slow and hesitant. I could tell she wanted to reach out and touch me, but was afraid if she did, I’d vanish or break. Stepping forward, I let her palm cup the side of my face. A single tear rolled down from her left eye which she absent-mindedly brushed away.

Concerned I asked, “Mommy? Are you okay?”

Biting her lip, she nodded. With a strain in her throat, she answered, “Before your father died, we had planned to have another child. I always imagined that it would have been a girl.” Closing her eyes tight, she inhaled deep. Opening them she added, “I think you are showing me what that dream would be like. Especially since I can see myself in you.” She pulled me in for a hug and I clasped her in return. I could hear her murmur, “My precious beautiful little girl.”

To my surprise, I found I was crying as well. Seeing this, mom helped by grabbing some tissues and cleaned us both up. As she finished, she contemplated the tissue for a second then cocked her head to one side. Looking at me she said, “I think I got something for you.”

Leaving me in the living room, since that’s where the nearest face tissues were, she headed off to her bedroom. When she returned, she had a small white purse in hand. With great reverence, she handed it over.

“This has some extra tissues, a roll of mints, and a little something special.” Reaching in, she pulled out a small bottle of perfume and spritzed it at the base of my neck and on the inside of each of my wrists. At once, the smell of a floral bouquet filled the air. Tucking the bottle back into the bag, she announced in a hushed tone, “The best part of this fragrance is that it’s called Lilly and Lace.”

The aroma didn’t smell at all familiar. “I’ve never smelt you wear this before,” I pointed out.

“That’s because I never have. I had picked it up as a free sample, but when I got it home I never thought it suited.” She paused looking me over. “Not sure why I didn’t throw it out. But I’m glad I didn’t since it fits you perfectly.” Kissing the top of my head, she spun me around. “Now let’s get going, missy. You’ve got a friend to meet.”

When we got to Sam’s house, Mrs. Morgan was out front watering her flowers. This was the most dressed down I had ever seen Sam’s mom. She had on jeans and a yellow button-up shirt with the sleeves cuffed up to her elbows. Her hair was tied back, with a few strands finding their way loose. Even this casual she could have been on the front cover of a home and garden magazine. Spotting us, she waved.

“Hello ladies! Might I say, Ms. Lilly, you are looking especially lovely today. Do the clothes fit okay?” It took some getting used to having this much attention from Mrs. Morgan. As Henry, she barely gave me a glance, but Lilly got full eye contact.

“Yes, Mrs. Morgan. They’re very pretty and feel good.” I replied. “Is Sam inside?”

“Oh, of course, of course, she’s probably up in her room. All week she’s been mentioning you. Can’t wait to show Lilly this or I wonder what Lilly would say about that?” She waved me to the front door. “You better get in there darling.”

Turning to mom for permission, she smiled and copied Mrs. Morgan’s wave. “Go on. I’m just going to have a few words with Nancy before heading off.”

I was about to run and find Sam, but I first gave mom a quick hug before running off. As my sandals slapped the floor, I overheard one remark from Mrs. Morgan.

“She’s definitely a more affectionate child.”

Going upstairs, I found Sam in her room intent on her notebook. Hearing my approach, she looked up and her face lit up. “Lilly!” Jumping to her feet, she ran over and crushed me in a fierce hug, and then she dragged me by the hand over to where she was working at her desk.

Flipping back to the first page, she handed the book to me to let me read. “Cute purse!” she exclaimed. “Can I see it?” I removed it from my shoulder and handed it over. She flopped on her bed as I sat at her desk checking out the comic.

This time there was a front cover image announcing the title character as Copy. He was running from shadowy figures that looked like the aliens I had seen before. Sure enough, the images of him being strapped down to the table popped off the page. This time there were words. Most of them involved the boy, named Hendrix, pleading for his life.

The new images showed Hendrix waking up in his own room, thinking it was all a dream. He was late to class due to sleeping in and ran into a girl he liked. She was a redhead by the name of Jackie, but liked to be called Jax.

When Hendrix ran into Jax, he knocked all her books out of her hands and made a comment, “I should take you out for a meal to say sorry.” To his surprise, she accepted and he ended up having his first date.

Everything went well on the date and it got to the point where he was dropping her off and they kissed. The next panel was odd, since it looked like the girl Jax was kissing herself. The two pulled away with Jax asking, “What was that?”

Hendrix just stood there looking confused feeling his chest. “I don’t know. We were kissing and-”

“And it felt like you had breasts!” Jax exclaimed. She then proceeded to feel up Hendrix’s chest. Finding nothing, they awkwardly said their goodbyes.

“He needs genetic material to make the change.” Sam’s voice was right by my ear. 

I jumped, nearly bumping heads with Sam. “You scared the pants off of me!” I squeaked.

“I’ll say, you’re wearing shorts,” she pointed out. Then she pointed back at the panel where the girl was kissing herself. “The saliva from the kiss gave Hendrix what he needed to change.”

Looking down at my shorts, I sighed. Then I followed Sam’s explanation. “But he didn’t stay changed?”

“That’s because he lost focus.” Sam tumbled her hand to urge me to keep reading. “Just see what happens next.”

Turning the page, I watched as Hendrix found himself at home looking in a mirror. “What happened tonight?” He felt of his face, pulling a cheek out. Frustrated, he dug his hands in his hair, looking frazzled. He stayed in this position as his expression changed to a happy one. “It felt great kissing Jax though.” He closed his eyes, remembering the moment.

On the next page, he opened his eyes and was staring at Jax with her mouth wide open. Her hands were still buried in her hair so you could tell it was Hendrix. Additionally, Hendrix was still in boy clothes. “What the-?” 

Slapping a hand over her mouth, she made a yelp. “I sound just like… Jax.” Her shocked expression turned to one of deviousness as she looked down and cupped her chest.

Knocking sounds came from his door, which startled Hendrix back into male form. Looking dazed, he asked, “Who is it?” His mom popped her head in and asked that he take out the garbage.

The next few panels showed him struggling with the trash before he crashed into bed. Between yawns he said, “Now, it’s time to check out this power. I just need to think about what I was doing when it happened.” Again he closed his eyes and thought about Jax.

Once again she was in his clothes and on his bed. She smiled. “Now I can really see-” Her yawn was bigger than ever and her eyes closed. The comic ended with Hendrix asleep in bed.

Looking up, I was startled to find I had to pull some of my own red locks out of the way to see Sam. “What’s with Hendrix falling asleep?”

Sam had a devilish expression. “What? Are you just as much of a pervert as he is?”

I thought about it for a second. “Well, yeah?”

Slapping my arm, she giggled. “You’re terrible! The reason why he went to sleep was because each time he changes, it takes a lot out of him. At least for now.”

“Oh!” I replied comprehending. “Are the aliens watching him?”

Sam tapped her forehead. “That’s all up here. And you’ll just have to wait like everybody else to find out.”

I couldn’t help but pout sticking my lower lip out.

“You’re so cute when you do that.” Sam pinched my cheek for emphasis.

“Ouch!” I reached up and rubbed at the spot she grabbed.

“Girls! Are you about ready to go?” Mrs. Morgan’s voice came from somewhere in the house.

I gave Sam a curious look. She smiled and yelled back. “We’re ready when you are!”

“Then meet me in the car!” came her mom’s reply.

Picking up my purse, Sam thrust it into my arms. “Come on. We’re going shopping remember?”

Personally, I hadn’t remembered this plan. “No, I’m not ready. I don’t have any of my clothes!” I whispered in a panic.

Sam gave me her own bewildered stare. “You’re wearing your clothes. Besides, you got to have more than just that to wear when you come over.”

Peering down, it began to register. Doing my best deer in the headlights impression, I asked, “You mean I have to go out as Lilly?”

Sighing, she put her hands on my shoulders. “You’ll be fine. And if you don’t know how to act, just copy what I do.” With that, she dragged me out of her room, down the stairs and into the garage where her mom’s car was.

We climbed into the back seat of her mom’s four door sedan. Shortly, her mom joined us. She had replaced her flip-flops with white sneakers. Throwing her purse on the other front seat, she hit a button and the garage door rose up, letting light fill the space.

Bracing one hand on the other seat, she turned to look back. While she did she asked, “You girls ready to find some things for Lilly at the mall?”

Sam reached out and grasped my hand, interlacing our fingers. As one, we declared we were both ready.

I may really like things because they were different, and this would put that notion to the test. I thought briefly back to the comic where Hendrix discovered he could change. I didn’t have the perverted angle here, but the change was real enough. That’s when it dawned on me, Lilly looked a lot like Jax. Well, maybe not as developed as she was, but the wig was in the same style.

Facing Sam, I accused, “Hey, you designed Jax after me, didn’t you?”

Her smile was huge and full of straight white teeth. “Of course! I only copy the best!” And with that, we were off, where I could experience what a real girl’s life was like.


	15. Shopping Therapy

Getting out of the car, I noticed two things. First, my shorts were shorter than what I was used to and, therefore, the car seats stuck to my legs. Second, my shorts left me feeling very exposed. As the breeze gusted, my upper thighs were not accustomed to being caressed by moving air.

This made me hyper aware of our surroundings. I noticed a mother putting their child into the family car. There was also a man getting out of his truck one row over. I noticed when the cars stopped for the light at the edge of the parking lot. All I could think was they could tell I was a boy dressed up like a girl.

“Come on Lilly.” Sam grabbed my arm and tugged me toward the department store entrance.

This particular store wasn’t one mom and I frequented since it was a bit expensive. But since Mrs. Morgan was covering the cost and this is the place she brought us, I didn’t really have a say in the matter.

As the three of us approached the door, the man from one parking row over ran up and beat us to the entrance. I thought this was odd since there was no special deal going on that I could see. But he just wanted to open the door for us and usher us in. We all thanked him as we passed. For his part, he smiled then entered behind us and walked off to whatever section he was there to shop at.

Mrs. Morgan turned to us. “Are you girls going to be okay on your own? I know you probably don’t want me hanging about. And I’ll just be in the next department over if you need anything.”

Sam rolled her eyes. Then said, as if exasperated, “Yes mom. We’re not babies.”

“All right, all right. No need for that attitude Samantha. Besides, I was really talking to Ms. Lilly. Will you be okay, dear?” She smiled at me.

“Um, I’m not sure about sizes?” I answered with a concerned note in my voice.

She thumped her head. “Oh! That’s right.” Digging in her purse, she pulled out a small pad and pen and scribbled something down. Ripping the sheet off, she handed it to me.

Examining it, Sam looked over my shoulder. “Hey! You’re about the same size as me, for most of the things.” She pointed at the shoe sizes. “Although you are a bit bigger there, but only by about a half size. Good thing we had you wear sandals that first day.” When I gave her a puzzled look she explained. “Boots and sandals tend to be a bit more forgiving when it comes to sizes.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Morgan.” I held up the paper. “This helps a lot.”

She patted me on the shoulder. “Of course, my darling. Now if you need me for anything, I’ll be over there.” She pointed to the ladies’ section.

I was most likely going to continue thanking her if it wasn’t for Sam dragging me off to the juniors’ section. We had barely made it to the first racks when she started grabbing things. A pink plaid skirt and velvet trimmed tank tops filled her arms. This was followed by a floral dress in purples and some bright pink shorts. The shorts were even shorter than the ones I had on.

Still conscious of how exposed I felt, I decided to wade in and find a few things that were more modest. I went for jeans and graphic tees with some recognizable characters. I did pick up a pink hoodie that was super soft and some floral tops. After about twenty minutes, we both had our arms full.

“Time to go try stuff on,” Sam chirped.

“What? But we got all the right sizes?” I argued.

“Yeah, that doesn’t mean it’ll fit.” She then marched off to the back wall of the store where there was a doorway leading to the changing rooms.

Hurrying after her, I asked when I caught up, “What do you mean they might not fit?”

She held up her pile. “Different brands fit differently. Isn’t that how boys’ clothes work?”

I winced hearing her mention boys’ clothes. It was like she was yelling that there was a boy over here. Whispering I replied, “No, sizes are just sizes. I mean there are tall and short sizes, but they say tall and short.”

“Oh, that’s the same with girls’ clothes, but depending on which brand you pick, they aren’t necessarily the same. And even brands change from season to season, so even those might not fit the same either.” She said this in a matter of fact way like it was totally sane. Seeing my lost look, she elaborated, “You see girls vary in size. Some have wider hips and smaller butts. Then there is the question of how big your boobs are. We’re lucky because ours are small right now. But I’ve seen bigger girls throw a fit when they couldn’t get a top to fit them.”

Outside the dressing room was an attendant that informed us the limit was eight items. After distributing the clothing around, we still needed to hand the lady over some of our selections. Sam said she’d run out and swap stuff as we needed.

Entering the dressing room was like entering another world. It wasn’t because I had never been in a women’s dressing room, far from it, mom used to take me in with her all the time. It hadn’t been until recently that I stayed out. The weird feelings came because I was about to use it for its intended purpose. And there were women in here with me, naked women!

Well, to be honest, my mind might be exaggerating the nudity just a bit. It was strange when Sam shoved us both into a single stall. I stood there dumbly as she arranged everything we found into possible outfits.

Looking over one shoulder, she quirked an eyebrow, “Well? You going to strip?”

“But you’re here,” I rasped in a desperate manner.

“Yeah, so? You’re going to need my opinion.” She took the clothes I had picked out and added them to her arrangement. “Oh, I like this top! Those bell sleeves are cute.”

I continued my agitated state, “But Sam I’m a-”

“Girl lacking in a wardrobe. Now take off those things and let’s try on some clothes. Besides, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.” She scolded me with a finger.

I didn’t think she really had seen everything I had. Rather it sounded like a cliché she had heard before. With grudging reluctance, I followed her orders. What took place next was one of the strangest experiences in my life so far.

Sam had me try on some bottoms which felt more exposing than the shorts I had on. This was then followed by a few tops that made my outfit go from bright and cheerful to super serious. Then I’d change bottoms only to retry a top I had previously worn even though I knew it fit. As we went along, she rated each outfit and discarded items that didn’t seem to go with anything else. Or at least, they didn’t compliment whatever I was wearing at the time. She even made several trips back out to the attendant for more of the things we had found. I had never gone through such an emotional rollercoaster just trying on clothing. By the end, I was getting excited when Sam approved of my own pairings she hadn’t noticed.

“Hmm. We’re definitely going to need to find you some belts and shoes next.” Sam appeared a bit satisfied at the mound of clothes we kept.

After loading down the return rack near the changing room, we hunted down a bag to hold all the items we found. Lugging one big bag around turned out to be much easier than having armfuls of clothing. We found Mrs. Morgan and told her that we were off to the accessory department. She was done looking and only had a single blouse in hand. I offered to carry it for her.

“You’re so sweet dear,” she gushed as she handed the apparel over to be added to the bag. “You sure we don’t need a second bag?”

I judged the way the bag bulged. “That might be a good idea if we get any more.”

She went to go grab one as Sam and I found the belts. By the time she rejoined us, Sam had already found three belts for me and another handbag. As Sam’s mom and I split the items between the two bags Sam had found the jewelry section.

“How do you feel about pierced ears?” Sam asked trying to sound innocent.

I was not prepared for that level of change so replied, “I don’t like needles.”

“Fine,” Sam grumped. She did however return with a selection of bracelets and necklaces. Most of them were beaded in pretty colors. She dropped them into the bag.

Mrs. Morgan scolded her, “Samantha! You didn’t even ask Lilly if she liked them.”

I had reached in and was in the process of admiring one of the pieces when Sam answered, “She trusts me. Besides, she looks like she really likes them already.” By this time, I had slipped one of the bracelets on and was twisting it to see how it looked.

Mrs. Morgan sighed, “Yes, I suppose. Just make her feel involved next time?”

“Sure mom,” Sam sang. “Come on Lilly! We’ve got shoes to find.”

Fortunately, Sam was forced to admit she couldn’t just grab shoes without my input. Turns out, I had a limit to the height of the heel a shoe could have before I couldn’t walk or balance in them. Anything beyond two inches got really precarious.

We did manage to find some boots, sandals, sneakers, slip-ons, and a pair of low dress pumps that all worked. However, it was becoming a bit awkward to carry everything. Sam’s mom found a sales clerk, who held all our items behind the register. Seeing the sheer amount of items, the sales lady had to ask, “Did someone lose their suitcase at the airport?”

Mrs. Morgan seeing this as a great excuse replied, “Actually yes. My daughter’s friend here flew in and lost everything. I told her mother that since she was out here to see Samantha, I’d buy her everything she needed.”

“Oh! That’s terrible,” the lady bemoaned. “What’s your name sweetie?”

“Lilly,” I responded in my customary shy way.

“That’s such a pretty name,” she acknowledged. “I’ll tell you what. Since I’m the manager here, I’ll give you the employee discount to help you out.”

“That’s not necessary,” Mrs. Morgan tried to counter.

“Nonsense,” the woman retorted. “I’ve had vacations ruined because of bad travel before so I know how hard it can be. When you’re done shopping, just ask for Stacy, okay?”

I nodded since Stacy was looking directly at me. Mrs. Morgan, for her part, managed to bite her lip and stay silent. I guess when a big enough discount was involved, it was best not to talk your way out of a little white lie. After all, since Lilly really only came over to Sam’s place to visit, it was kind of like a trip.

We were on our way to the intimates section when Sam spotted the swimsuits. “I don’t think I need-” I tried to put in.

Sam gave me a surprised glance. “Seriously Lilly? You already went swimming at my place. You totally need a swimsuit.”

“Fine,” I capitulated. “But I’m picking it out,” I stated brooking no argument.

“Okay, okay, calm down girl.” Sam held up her hands in defense.

Despite her attempts to get me into a two piece, I ended up with a black one-piece with blue stripes down the side and a red one-piece with large white flowers.

Studying the red suit, Sam thought about the other items we had picked out. “You really like flowers, don’t you Lilly?”

I shrugged, “Well, you like hearts.” I countered.

Mrs. Morgan chortled, “She’s got a point, Samantha.”

Sam stuck her lower lip out in a pout. I took that opportunity to pinch her cheek like she had done to me and say, “You’re so cute when you pout.”

Sam’s mom burst into loud laughter that made other shoppers look over. Sam scowled at her mom’s reactions. “Sorry, Samantha. I just haven’t seen you let anyone do that to you for years. It’s adorable.”

Sam kept up the scowl for another moment then broke into a smile. “Well, I guess it’s fair since I do the same thing to her.” Hooking my arm with hers, she once again guided me off. Leaning in she whispered, “At least I’ll know what type of panties and bras to pick out for you.”

It is safe to say I didn’t just blush, but rather did an impression of a tomato. Seeing my new shade of color, Mrs. Morgan asked, “Samantha! What did you say to that poor girl?”

In a loud strident declaration, she announced, “Lilly likes flowers on her panties!”

“Samantha!” Mrs. Morgan exclaimed in a shocked tone. A beat passed then she added, “Just as long as you get the matching bras!”

Heat began radiating from my face as I did my best to match my hair color. The teasing didn’t stop there as they would call out as they found any and all floral undergarments. I spent my time attempting not to act bothered and spent my efforts intent on socks.

“Oh, good catch!” Sam piped in from right beside me.

“Eep!” I started at her sudden appearance.

She scooped up a number of different socks in my size and added them to the growing pile of girlie unmentionables.

“Oh, and you might need some of these.” Sam held up some hosiery.

“Girls, you better add all those to what we have behind the register.” Mrs. Morgan called as she perused her sizes for bras.

I kept my eyes lowered as we headed to Stacy. I felt embarrassed with a heap of girls’ underwear in hand. How did females ever shop for this stuff and not feel judged.

“Oh, those are nice,” Stacy observed as she took the garments. “Hmm, looks like you still might need some nightgowns.”

Sam slapped her head in an imitation of her mom when we first came into the store. “Duh! How in the world are we going to have sleep-overs!”

It seemed highly improbable that our parents would let us have sleepovers, but in for a penny as they say. We did find me a floral nightgown, but I also found some night shirts with characters. And when I showed Sam a very recognizable snowman, her face lit up and she ran off.

I was left confused. I even examined the nightshirt as if it might have scared her off. But when she returned, she held up a pair of panties in triumph.

“Look!” she gushed. Along with pink trim, the panties also featured the same snowman on the butt. “They’re a matched set!”

I must admit that did get me excited and I can’t entirely explain why. When we brought all of this to Stacy, she involuntarily snorted, “Oh my god, that’s too precious.” She turned the panties over contemplatively. “There weren’t, by chance, larger sizes of these?”

Sam nodded. “They even have some of the princesses as well.”

“Hmm, might need to get some for myself after work. Oh, do you think you’ll need a suitcase?” Stacy asked. When she only got blank stares from both of us, she explained, “You know, for your trip back?”

By that time Mrs. Morgan had rejoined us and answered. “Oh, Lilly will be staying here for a while. Besides, if her suitcase doesn’t show up, we can just pack all these things up and ship them.”

Stacy nodded conceding the point. “So are you all ready to check out?”

Mrs. Morgan looked our way. “Well, girls? Can you think of anything else?” We shook our heads in the negative. She on the other hand was holding a bra. Turning back to Stacy, she placed it on the counter. “Just this I guess.”

It was at that point I became aware of my bladder. Dancing from foot to foot, I got Sam’s attention by tugging on her sleeve.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I whispered.

“Oh!” Tugging on her mom’s sleeve, she said, “Lilly and I are going to go use the restroom.”

“Okay,” Mrs. Morgan’s reply seemed preoccupied as she hunted in her purse for some cards. “Hurry back.”

“Take your time ladies,” Stacy interjected as she sorted the heaps of items. “This might take a while.”

Turning, Sam took hold of my hand and marched me to the ladies room. Outside the door, I pulled back on her hand. Swiveling her head she asked, “What’s wrong? I thought you needed to use the restroom?”

In response, I pointed to the door. Unlike the changing room, this felt even more insurmountable. This was, without a doubt, forbidden territory. I was hoping there was some sort of family bathroom.

Pivoting her gaze between me and the door, Sam didn’t see what the issue was. “Yeah, that’s the restroom.” After a beat, it dawned on her what my reservations were. “Oh, I see. Fortunately for you there is a solution.”

“There is?” I was so thankful she knew where there was a private restroom. She had let go of my hand and walked behind me. I was about to turn and follow when I felt her hands on my back.

“Yeah! You go to the ladies room.” With that she shoved me inside and I found myself in a lounge?

Pointing to a couch, I told Sam, “That’s not a toilet.”

She burst out laughing. Between gasps she managed to direct my head to another doorway. Through that opening, I could spy a bank of sinks. Navigating forward, I left Sam to collapse on a sofa holding her sides, wheezing, “Not a toilet!”

Turning the corner, I spied more familiar stalls. I noted there were no urinals and checked myself since this was the ladies room. Ducking into a stall, I went about my business. I was startled to hear high heels click into the room.

The stall right next to mine was being entered by those same heels. This was then followed by a soft grunt and a spray of liquid as a woman I didn’t know relieved herself.

I began panicking with strange thoughts. What if she knew I wasn’t a girl by the sound of my pee? What if my own noises sounded odd to her? Then my heart went into my throat when something unexpected happened.

“Shoot!” the woman exclaimed. It sounded like she was spinning an empty toilet paper dispenser. “Excuse me, could you please pass me some toilet paper?” A well-manicured hand appeared under the stall wall.

“Uh, sure,” I mumbled. With haste I unrolled a sizable wad of paper and handed it over.

“Oh, you’re a life saver,” she gushed. “Normally, I look before I go, but I was about to explode. I’ve been on this all liquid diet and it’s awful.”

I had never in my life been a part of a conversation in a public restroom before so wasn’t sure what to say, so I improvised, “Sounds like you have to always look for a restroom.”

“Oh god, isn’t that the truth. I swear, I go into a store and I can’t even think about shopping unless I know where the bathrooms are.” To my surprise, the conversation made me relax enough that I started peeing. When I realized this, I was glad the woman didn’t seem to notice since she just kept talking. “There’s even one store that doesn’t have a public restroom, but I managed to make the manager promise to let me use the employee restroom if I needed it. Can you believe that?”

“Well, I guess it’s made you brave,” I ventured. There was a silence as I finished urinating. Did she just notice my pee sounds different than hers? But then she started laughing.

“Oh dear! I never thought of it that way! That is too funny.” I cleaned up and got rearranged while she talked. We both ended up flushing at the same time and emerged from each of our stalls. Spotting me, her eyes went wide. “Why, you’re just a sweet little thing.” The praise made me smile and lower my eyes. She was rather tall for a woman especially with her heels. At my height of four and a half feet tall I cane about up to her chest.

“Thanks.” I found myself super self-conscious when people paid me a compliment.

We both headed to the sinks to wash up. “Well, let me tell you. Don’t ever take for granted that girlish little figure you have, because dieting is the worst.” She maintained eye contact in the mirror.

From what I could see, she seemed rather fit so I said as much, “You don’t look over weight. In fact, you kind of look like an actress I’ve seen.”

Her smile was dazzling. “Honey, you just made my day.” We dried off our hands and, before leaving, she said over her shoulder, “And thanks again for saving me back there.”

“You’re welcome.” She waved then left through the lounge. Following after her, I found Sam who had seemed to get her mirth under control. She was biting her lip though. “Sam? You okay?”

Thrusting a hand out, she pointed at a garbage can on the other end of the room and blurted, “That’s not a toilet!” Once again, her howls of laughter filled the room.

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head and left her behind. Leaving the ladies room, I didn’t want to go too far from Sam, so I moved slowly. Seeing a rack of jewelry, I stopped to examine the items.

The earrings were exquisite, so much so that I traced a finger over the dangling crystals of one. A sales associate startled me from one side.

“Those are really pretty. Were you thinking about getting them?” The sales clerk was on the short side at about five feet tall, so I didn’t have to look up too far.

I shook my head and pointed to my ears. “I don’t have pierced ears.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. You know, if you come here with your mom, we could pierce them for you? It doesn’t really hurt. You would have to start with studs, but after a few weeks you could be wearing something like those.” She motioned to the earrings I was looking at.

“I don’t know. It seems so permanent.” I was voicing my own fears of a boy having pierced ears.

“That is the beauty of having them pierced. You don’t have to wear anything in them if you don’t want to.” She had a playful smile.

“I-” I was seriously thinking about it when Sam’s call interrupted my response.

“Lilly! Where’d you go?”

“Over here!” I answered. Turning back to the lady, I apologized, “Sorry, I need to go find my friend. But I’ll think of getting my ears pierced.”

“Any time, we’ll be here,” she assured me.

Heading toward Sam’s voice, I almost ran into her when we moved passed a display. “Ah, there you are.” Sam hooked my arm. “Come on, I bet mom is done paying.” Sure enough, we found Mrs. Morgan and manager Stacy trying to navigate a whole series of large bags out from behind the counter.

Spotting us, Mrs. Morgan waved us over, “Oh good. Girls, can you help with these bags?”

In the end, it still took us, manager Stacy, and one other employee to get us packed into Mrs. Morgan’s car. We even needed to fill up part of the back seat with a couple of the bags.

Addressing us, Mrs. Morgan sighed, “I’m so sorry my dears. I was hoping to go to a few more places, but given the state of the car, I think we reached our capacity.”

We were not daunted by this at all. Sam piped up, “No worries mom. As it is, I have to instruct Lilly on the finer points of what makes a good outfit. And that takes time.” 

Her mom grinned at her. “I suppose it does. Besides Ms. Lilly is still pretty new to all of this, isn’t she?”

I was grateful to be heading back to Sam’s place. This day was a bit on the overwhelming side of things. It didn’t take long until we were pulling back into the driveway.

“Lilly dear, I think it might be best to leave the clothes in the car to make it easier to transfer to your mother’s vehicle, don’t you think?” Mrs. Morgan had her professional mode in place.

I was about to agree when Sam pouted, “Then how will I show her how to put together her outfits?”

“You can use your clothes to show her. It’s not like you don’t have enough,” her mom pointed out.

Sam sighed, “I suppose. Come on Lilly.” With that she hopped out of the car.

“Thank you so much again, Mrs. Morgan, for everything.” I knew there was no way my mom could have afforded a fraction of what we bought at the store.

“It’s the least I can do for you and your kind, dear. Besides, you are such a good friend to my Samantha.” She gestured out of the vehicle to an impatient looking Sam. “Now you better go follow her, otherwise we’re both in trouble.”

I got out, leaving Mrs. Morgan, and followed Sam inside. Behind us, Mrs. Morgan called out. “When Lilly’s mom gets here, you may have to come find me to open up the car. I’ll most likely have my head buried in paper work.”

“Okay mom!” Sam yelled back. To me she said, “Come on!” With that she stomped up the stairs with me hot on her tail.

Reaching her room, she closed the door behind us. I headed for her closet, expecting a fashion lesson, but her hand on my shoulder stopped me.

I gave her a quizzical look, peering back at her. Sam’s expression was unreadable to me. She was quiet yet very intense. “Sam? You all right?”

She gulped then replied, “Lilly, I really like you.”

I brightened, “And I like you, Sam.”

She then leaned in and kissed me again. I was stunned. I spent almost all day being a girl that I hadn’t been bothered by sexual urges. Now that all went out the window as she pressed herself tight against me. She even reached a hand around to grab my butt.

When we finally came up for air, we were both panting. “I’m sorry Henry, you probably are so confused by me.”

It was strange to hear my own name while I was dressed, but I didn’t see any reason for her to apologize. “Sam, you know I like you too, right?”

“Really? But you now have to dress like this. And everyone thinks-” This time I cut her off with a kiss of my own.

Afterward we rested our foreheads together. “You are my best friend, Sam. That’s not going to change, no matter what I wear.” Plastering a cheeky grin, I admitted, “Although you do give me some unladylike thoughts.” I framed my crotch area with one hand. I was tucked, but it was feeling rather uncomfortable at the moment. “Perhaps, it might be best to take things slow, and I do need to learn about putting outfits together.”

She ducked in and hugged me before heading toward her closet. Throwing the door open wide, she stepped to one side and presented her wardrobe. “Very well, then let’s start with the basics?” And with that, I not only picked up a closet full of clothes, but I learned how to wear them.


	16. Reflections

Mom was a bit shocked at the number of bags we had to transfer to her car. She was a bit beside herself. “Are you sure, Nancy? I mean that store isn’t cheap.” She held up one of the bags that displayed the store’s logo.

“It’s the least I can do for you and Lilly,” she soothed, “I know through my charity work that this phase of life can be challenging enough. Besides, Lilly talked the manager into giving us a discount.”

“She what?” Mom looked between Mrs. Morgan and me. “How?”

Mrs. Morgan explained the situation and how it came about. “Besides, I didn’t really spend anything.”

“Oh?” this made mom pause. “How do you mean?”

Mrs. Morgan waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. “Thanks to my clothing business, we do lots of business with the store. And thanks to their rewards program, I end up with all sorts of gift cards from their VIP programs.” Her eyes brightened with a thought. “In fact, let me give you a gift card.” With that, she produced a card from her purse, handing it to mom.

“Oh, I couldn’t!” mom protested, attempting to shove the card back into Mrs. Morgan’s hand.

“I insist,” Mrs. Morgan was adamant, “Get something nice for yourself. Besides it would look odd if you took Lilly out and she dressed better than her own mother.”

Holding the card in two fingers, mom treated it as if it were dirty or about to bite her. “You sure?” She gave Mrs. Morgan a helpless look.

“Yes! Now put that away.” Now she was shoeing the card away as if it had a bad smell.

Slipping it into her purse, mom couldn’t help but give Mrs. Morgan a hug. “Nancy, I can’t thank you enough.”

Mrs. Morgan patted mom on the back. “Like I told you over the phone Heather, if you need anything just ask. Besides, little Ms. Lilly is a tremendously good influence on Samantha.”

Mom’s smile was full of pride when she aimed it my way. I was putting the last bag into the back seat. “That kid sure is something.” She blew out a full sigh. By now I was climbing into the car and getting buckled in. I had already said goodbye to Sam and was looking forward to pairing up tops and bottoms to make outfits at home.

Peering at the bags, I spied Mrs. Morgan’s blouse she had bought. I fished it out and called to her. “Mrs. Morgan you forgot your top.” Walking over she took it from me and thanked me for my awareness.

Soon I was joined in the car by mom. She started up the engine and headed out. We sat in silence for a while until I spoke, “Mom, do you think I could get my ears pierced?”

She tapped the steering wheel before responding, “You don’t want to try clip-ons first?”

I hadn’t thought about that option. The problem was there were so many styles made just for pierced ears. “I don’t know, pierced just seems easier.”

“Well, it might be easier for Lilly, but what about Henry?” She gave me a quick glance to gauge my reaction.

“I guess I could take them out when I’m Henry,” I admitted.

“Yes, but the first few weeks you’ll need to keep them in so the holes don’t close up,” she pointed out.

The lady at the store had mentioned as much. For some reason, it excited me to do something that was ultra-feminine. I did like how good it felt when people said I was pretty. It seemed like an easy price to pay to experiment a bit deeper. “Yes, I think I’d be fine with it.”

When mom didn’t reply, I figured she might be upset with my answer. However, when I studied her, she seemed pre-occupied. Noticing my intense focus on her, she shook herself. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how to introduce you to Eric.”

“Eric?” That name sounded familiar.

“Yeah,” came her slow reply, “When I drop you off, I have been going to a singles meet-up. And that’s where I met Eric.”

I didn’t have anything to say to this, but I knew I couldn’t just stay silent. “Is he like a boyfriend?”

Mom nodded. “I guess you could call him that. I’ve already told him about Henry.” She darted a look my way. “I haven’t brought up Lilly though.”

My heart fell. It was as if she had piled all her disapproval in what she didn’t say. “Oh,” was what I offered.

“Oh, no Hen. Sorry, Lilly. This is all still new to me. I mean look, I’m not even sure what name to use right now.” She took a calming breath. “I’m not mad. I just want you to meet him and I am not sure how you’d like to be introduced.”

The weight on my heart lifted, yet I understood her hesitation. “I think you should tell him.”

“Are you sure baby?” her voice was full of a mother’s worry.

I gave a firm nod. “If he’s important to you then I don’t want to be a secret you have to keep from him.”

Sniffling could be heard from mom’s side of the car. She reached up and tried to wipe her eyes. “Shoot, I can’t get to my purse.” She was in the midst of turning and didn’t have a free hand.

Reaching into my own purse, I pulled out some face tissues and handed them over. “Here mom.”

Taking them, she cleared her eyes and blew her nose. “Thank you dear.” Spotting where I pulled them from, she smirked. “That’s pretty useful isn’t it?”

“It sure is,” I agreed, and then asked, “But why is your purse so much heavier?” There had been a number of times she had asked me to hold her purse and each time it felt ten times the weight.

“Oh, you know. Things just sort of collect in there.” Reaching back, she snatched the strap of her purse and handed it to me. “If you can pull it forward, you can take a look.”

After a few tries, I managed to wrestle the purse free. Opening it up, I spotted a host of reasons why her purse was so encumbered. Keys, phone, and a wallet full of various cards took up a big portion of the purse. Pills, hand lotions, and other manicure related devices filled a whole other section of her bag. Then came the makeup. Pulling out a compact and lipstick, I held them out. “Mom, can you show me how to use these?”

Spying the objects, she chuckled, “Leave it to a girl to find the cosmetics. You know, not all girls need to wear makeup. In fact, you have a really nice complexion.”

But I was remembering the woman in the restroom with her dramatic fingernails. “Yes, but I like the color.”

She sighed dramatically. “Leave it to me to raise a child with diverse fashion tastes. Okay, when we get home, I’ll show you some of the basics.”

Treasuring my victory, I returned the items to the purse. After all, we were nearly home.

After parking, mom had me bring all the purchases into my room while she called Eric. She was hoping they could meet up while I was at school tomorrow so they could talk about my situation. When I gave her an odd look on the choice of words, she looked into my eyes and said, “You are my child. If he can’t handle how you express yourself, I’ll end things right then and there.”

I teared up a bit and gave her a big hug. “Thanks mommy.”

She swatted me on the rear. “Now get to unpacking. We got to figure out where to put all your new stuff. And I’ve got to make a phone call.”

It took quite a few trips and mom was on the phone longer than I expected. It did sound like it was going well since I distinctly heard her giggling at one point. Bringing the last bag in, I noted she was still deep in conversation so I started laying out all the clothes and pulling them from the bags. To my shock, Mrs. Morgan had forgotten to pull out her bra purchase. It was tangled in with all my new training bras, so could have been hard to spot.

I marveled at its silky texture and thought back about Dr. Sanchez’s question about breasts. At the time, they seemed like an unrelated concept since the question was about me wanting to have breasts. Unlike that conversation, this bra did make me consider the possibility.

Going to my door, I checked that mom was still in a deep conversation. When I was assured she was, I grabbed the bra, some socks from my drawer, and ducked into the bathroom, since my room didn’t have a very large mirror. Locking the door behind me, I stripped off my top and training bra and put Mrs. Morgan’s bra on. I slipped it over my head like a shirt as I did this morning.

It wasn’t too much bigger than me. After all, Mrs. Morgan was a fairly slender woman. But the cups for the breasts seemed huge on my small frame. I stuck the socks I brought to fill up the cups as best as I could.

The end result was lumpy. So I once again pulled on my floral top to help cover up the most awkward bumps. I’m sure if I saw myself now, it might have looked like a girl pretending to be some famous starlet with a massive set of knockers. But in my child’s mind what I saw was a young and very mature woman.

The confidence that filled me was intoxicating. That woman in the mirror was grown up and could do things. I then proceeded to show that reflection my best stern stare. This was interrupted by hearing my mom make her goodbyes.

Snatching up my training bra I ran back into my room. Lifting up my shirt I spilled my balled up socks back into my drawer from the bra cups. Throwing off my shirt I wrestled out of the bra and threw it on the bed with the rest of my clothes I had been sorting. During this process, my wig came off and fell to the floor on top of my top. I was struggling back into my training bra when mom walked in.

“You’re changing? I thought you would stay dressed up so I could show you makeup tips?” To my surprise, she sounded a bit disappointed.

Thinking quick I replied, “I didn’t know how long you’d be so figured I would get comfortable.”

Spotting the wig, she stepped into the room and picked it up. “You probably should have a better place to put this than the floor. It’ll get all tangled this way.”

Finally getting my bra back in place, I bent to get the top back on. “Now that you’re off the phone, we can still play with makeup.” I reached for the wig she was brushing out with her fingers.

As I was fixing it back on my head, she saw Mrs. Morgan’s bra and picked it up. “This is a bit big for you, isn’t it?”

Pulling the red strands out of my eyes, I peered at what she held. “Oh yeah, Mrs. Morgan got that. I guess she forgot to pull it out of the bags.” I pointed to my own pile of under garments. “It was tangled in with mine.”

“Oh. That’s pretty.” She set Mrs. Morgan’s bra down and scooped up several of my bras. “Wow, these are nicer than most of what I have. Ah, and you even got matching panties.”

Thankful that she didn’t make a big deal about Mrs. Morgan’s bra, I then showed her the clothes we had picked out. I could even spot a few outfits I wanted to try, thanks to Sam’s instruction earlier. Mom even had a few suggestions as well, which I thought were rather good, so I made a mental note.

She did pause when we got to the nightgowns. “Uh, you know you won’t look very girly in this without your wig.”

“I’ll then just wear the wig,” I replied.

She opened her mouth to answer but then thought better of it. All she said was, “Okay, I’ll let you figure it out.”

Eventually we got around to talking about makeup. Mom wanted to start simple so just covered lipstick. “Okay, so I will wear makeup in two ways. Either I’m making a fashion statement and trying to highlight my outfit or I want to bring attention to my lips.”

“How do you bring out an outfit?” I asked.

“Well, you can use a very loud color. So say you really like the purples in a dress you have, then you may want to pick out a shade of purple for your lipstick.” She then flashed her fingernails near her lips. “In cases like that I try to also get matching fingernail polish.”

“Okay, then why would you instead want to bring attention to your lips?”

“Well, any time you use lipstick, you’re going to bring attention there. But sometimes you’re just trying to emphasize them. So you use a color that works well with your skin tone and you may even make them look a bit fuller.”

“Why would you need them fuller?” I was still not following her reasoning.

She paused and looked a bit embarrassed. In a halting cadence, she admitted, “Well, maybe, so they appear more… kissable.”

“Oh!” Now that was something I knew a bit about. “So, like if you want Eric to kiss you?”

“Uh, yeah. Something like that.” She had turned a rosy shade of pink. Changing the subject, she went to her room, “Come on, the best way for you to learn is to see.”

Following her, she sat me down at her vanity. A number of tubs and bottles littered the surface. Sliding one drawer open, she pulled out a lipstick in bright red.

“Let’s start with this. Normally, I use it to highlight my outfit, but with that red hair of yours I’d say it could go both ways.” Leaning in front of me she applied the makeup. My back was to her mirror so I couldn’t see the immediate results. When she was done she instructed me to rub my lips together. “Now it’s also important to have tissues on hand cause sometimes you can put a little too much on and it may clump.” With that she spun me around.

Looking back at me was the woman again. This time she wasn’t a comical farce with enormous boobs. Her lips were everything she needed to project respect and sophistication.

“See how it draws the eye? And different types of makeup will do different things. Eyeshadows and eyeliners will make your eyes look more important. Foundation and blushes will make you look healthier in certain lights. Essentially, you show off your best aspects while making the things you don’t like so much less important.” She smiled at my reflection. It was as if she was seeing a past version of herself.

“How do I know what I should show off?” At this point, I figured my lips were the only thing worth anything about my face.

“That comes more from experience. Sometimes all it takes is someone else noticing and you just like how that makes you feel.” Sighing, she put her hand on my shoulder. “For me, your father loved my eyes. He even said you must have liked them too since you have them.”

“He really said that?” We didn’t talk much about dad.

“You were just a baby at the time.” She gave another sigh and a squeeze to my shoulder. This was followed by a light pat. “Now let’s get you cleaned up. You don’t want to get lipstick all over your pillow.”

After cleaning me up, we took the tags off the new clothes and got to washing some. I was eager to go to bed in my new girl’s pajamas for the first time. Soon I was clad in a nightgown, kissing my mom goodnight and climbing into bed to go to sleep. That was a mistake.

The next morning my head felt awful. The wig had bunched and tangled through the night. It was hot and a bit itchy at times so I didn’t sleep well.

Mom noticed my bad mood as I plopped down at the breakfast table. “Didn’t sleep well?”

“No,” I groused. “The dumb wig kept me up.”

She stifled a laugh. “I was going to tell you, but figured you needed to learn it yourself.”

“Well, how do you do it? You’ve got long hair.” I pointed an accusing finger at her head.

Running her fingers through some of her locks, she answered, “It’s different when it’s your own hair.”

This gave me an idea. “Can I grow my hair out?”

She bit her lip considering. “It would take a while. Would you want it to be red like the wig?”

I scratched my sore scalp. “Maybe something between that and my natural hair maybe.”

“It would require us dying your hair. Would you mind that?”

I only knew I never wanted to sleep in a wig again and I still wanted to use my girl pajamas. “Yes.”

She put a finger to her chin in thought. “It would mean having to style your hair differently when you wanted to be a boy versus being a girl. But that could be done with a curling brush.”

I hadn’t thought about those types of issues. But that was the problem, given how tired I was, it was hard to think at all. Although it did sound like mom had it figured out. “Good, then I want long hair.”

In return, she gave me a sinister grin. “We’ll see. Now let’s get some food in you so you can get to school.”

Even Sam noticed I was out of it. “Man, you look terrible Henry,” she acknowledged when she first saw me.

“Geez thanks,” I grumbled.

“Sorry, but you look like you fell out of bed, multiple times.” With that she ruffled my hair which pinched in the spots the wig had made sensitive.

“Ouch.” I pulled her hand away.

Looking at her hand, she apologized, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pull your hair.”

Whispering I confessed, “I slept in the wig last night.” When she just had a blank expression, I elaborated, “It’s not a good idea.”

“Ah,” she sympathized. “You should grow your hair out then.”

I just dropped my head to my desk and lay there and groaned.

“What? Was it something I said?” Sam sounded crestfallen.

The rest of the school day went by pretty fast. I was going to talk to Sam about makeup, but decided it would be better if Lilly showed up wearing some. And when the final bell rang, I was exhausted and ready to go home.

Mom’s mood was annoying in its brightness. “Hey Hen, how was school?”

I grumbled something unintelligible back at her. My eyes felt heavy and I just wanted to lay down.

“Someone needs a nap. I guess then I’ll wait to tell you the good news.” She began humming to herself along with the music on the car radio.

“What news?” I snapped.

“Well, the fact that I told Eric and he had an interesting idea. That’s all.” She then made a show of being a very attentive driver.

I tried to let it go at that. But I was going mad with curiosity as to what could be so great about Eric’s idea. Given how I was, it seemed like a huge bother that we even had to make allowances for another person in our lives. We sat in this unpleasant silence for another minute. Finally, I had to ask, in what I approximated was a more cordial tone, “What’s his plan?”

“You sure you don’t want to rest first?” She was cautious with her words. She already knew I was tired from last night and was in a good enough mood to make allowances for my poor behavior.

Not being entirely dense, I sighed, “Sorry for snapping at you. Can you please tell me what the plan is?” I think my mom had trained me subconsciously for this reaction. I knew when she used certain mannerisms with me that I was being difficult. Being a compliant child, I had learned to apologize and try to be better.

“He wants to meet both of you.” She paused letting that sink in. Lord knows my comprehension level wasn’t up to snuff, giving how little sleep I was working on. “Not at the same time of course. He figures he could meet Henry by going to a ball game. And he could meet Lilly at a play.”

“A ball game and a play?” It was indeed taking my brain a bit of time to work all this out. “But wouldn’t it be weird if I meet him again? Am I supposed to pretend I don’t know him?”

Mom snapped her fingers which startled me. “That’s exactly what I said. He just pointed out you can do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.”

“But a ball game and a play? Why those two things?” I was actually warming up to the idea.

“Oh, he just threw those out as examples. He actually said he’d be up for whatever you wanted to do.” We were now pulling into the driveway. I stayed quiet as I unbuckled, grab my school things, and got out of the car. Dropping my bag in its usual place I yawned. Mom piped in, “How about you go take a nap and we’ll talk about it some more when you wake up.” I gave her a drunken bob of the head and trudged off to my room to recharge.

I woke to the smell of dinner cooking. It was as if I had barely closed my eyes and the daylight was almost gone. I could think more clearly now, so I had gotten some rest. After using the restroom, I joined mom in the kitchen.

“Hey there sleepy head. Feel any better?” She was stirring a pot on the stove.

Peering around her, I could see small macaroni noodles floating in the pot. “Yeah,” I responded. “We having mac and cheese?”

“Yes sir. And chicken nuggets to go with them along with a salad. Can you set the table?” She set the spoon down on a spoon rest near the stove. Turning, she rinsed off a cutting board near a salad bowl I hadn’t noticed.

“Sure.” I went to our small china hutch and pulled out the appropriate dishware.

As I laid out the plates and silverware, mom asked, “So, have you had a chance to think about where you’d like to go to meet Eric?”

“Sort of,” I admitted. “I don’t really like sports so what if we go see a movie and then have dinner afterward?”

“As you, Henry.” Mom queried.

“Yeah. And the play does sound interesting for Lilly.” I had to admit I had been figuring out what type of outfit to wear to a play ever since it came up.

Mom was straining the noodles. Through the steam from the boiling water she said, “Sounds good to me. We’ll need to look up what’s playing.”

I had seen the newspaper somewhere. “We can check the paper,” I added.

“Good idea. I think it’s on the coffee table in the living room.” Mom hated to have electronic devices at the dinner table so we kept more old school things around like newspapers.

By the time I found it and pulled out the arts section, mom was pulling the nuggets out of the oven. Setting them on a counter to cool, she began serving the salad. “By the time we finish our salad, the nuggets will have cooled down and the sauce for the mac and cheese will have set. Is that the paper?” She had spied it in my hand.

“Just the arts section. That is where they’d talk about things like plays, right?” I had just sort of made an assumption. I would have brought the whole paper over, but it was kind of thick and our table wasn’t that big.

“I believe so.” Setting the plates down we began eating and examining the paper. Turns out there was a good deal of live theaters in our area. Most of them were featuring plays neither of us had heard of though. But there was one production that was doing a version of Alice in Wonderland.

“Oh, that’s a pretty big theater,” mom pointed out. “Ah, they’re a traveling company. I bet the actors’ costumes will look amazing. I just hope we can get tickets and that they’re not all sold out.”

As for the movie, it was pretty simple. I was always ready to watch the latest superhero film, even if I had already seen it.

Plans in place we quickly ate our dinner. I even offered to do the dishes so that mom could call Eric and let him know what we decided. Judging by the smile on her face, she didn’t need a lot of convincing.

Turned out Eric had a special membership with the theater for all sorts of events. While on the phone, he informed mom that the earliest show he could get tickets for was in two weeks. She held a hand over the phone’s receiver to tell me this and then asked, “Then do you want to see the movie next weekend?” Giving her a thumbs up, she got back on the line to confirm things with Eric.

The whole next week had me preoccupied in thought. What if Eric didn’t like me? Or what if he only liked one of my two sides? Would mom force me to stop dressing if Eric suggested it to her? Needless to say, I was a bit on edge by the time the weekend rolled around.

I’m not sure what I expected Eric to look like, but it’s safe to say it wasn’t a tall guy with messy hair and dark rimmed glasses. He wore a superhero shirt of the same hero we were about to see. That impressed me since most adults didn’t have a clue as to what hero went with what universe.

He must have noticed my own shirt since he greeted me in the catch phrase of the hero. “It’s victory!”

To which I responded with the sidekick’s response, “Or nothing!” Then we crossed the backs of our fists with each other to finish the salute.

Mom stood there, open mouthed holding the door. She had stepped aside to let Eric in and was going to introduce us when we went into the routine. After we finished, she said, “Uh, do you already know each other?”

“No mom,” I sighed. “That’s just what Victorion and Darewind say when they are about to deal out justice!” I pumped my fist for emphasis.

“What? Who?” She still looked lost.

Eric explained, “They are the characters we are about to watch.” He gave me a raised eyebrow and asked, “Is it all right if I dispense with the affections?”

This made me chuckle. Victorion was always asking this of Darewind in the comics. Darewind was an alien android who didn’t understand how humans interacted. So when Victorion first kissed a lady, it thought Victorion was being attacked. After a long back and forth, Victorion managed to get it into Darewind’s processors that he was dispensing with affections. Darewind just asked that he would be consulted first. And thus the running joke was born. I kind of wanted to see mom’s reaction since Victorion always surprised the lady in question. So I grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

“Dispense with what?” Mom was more confused than ever.

Stepping forward, Eric grabbed her and spun her into his arms before giving her a kiss on the mouth. Then he reversed the motion and left her back on her feet.

Bringing a hand to her mouth, mom sported color on her cheeks. “Oh!”

I then proceeded to do the jaunty march out the door. To my delight, Eric followed just like in the comics! We spent the rest of the time laughing as mom gave us a shocked and very bewildered stare. It took nearly a whole minute for her to shake her head, sigh, and lock up behind us.

Honestly, mom wasn’t involved in much of the conversation to the movie, through the movie, or even after the movie. Eric and I were deep in discussion of Victorion’s entire history. We pointed out what was changed for the movie and what are favorite moments were. Although, mom did almost shoot soda through her nose when Victorion and Darewind did the whole affections bit right down to the march in the film. She was crying by the time she got control of herself.

On the way to dinner, I let slip I had been planning to make a Victorion costume for my G.I. Joes. The only reason I hadn’t was because I started work on Sam’s Durby costume.

“What? Really? You can make something like that?” He was in awe. “Do you have any pictures of other stuff you’ve done?”

“Yeah, mom has them on her phone,” I replied. Mom gave me permission to dig out her phone and show Eric. She was driving so couldn’t look for it herself. As I was pulling up the images, I gave mom credit, “Mom still helps with the sewing and if I run into anything too tricky.”

“Although, that’s happening less and less these days,” She beamed with pride.

Handing the phone to Eric, he swiped through the images. “These are amazing! Woah! That is a spot-on Robin Hood. Ha, that banana suit is too cool!” He spent a lot of time asking me questions and pointing out details he hadn’t seen anyone bother with when it came to the official toys. “So, as you know, there are no large scale Victorion action figures.” He let that hang in the air.

“Yeah?” I urged him on.

“I was wondering if you’d make me a Victorion costume?” Hope edged his words.

“What? Like for a Joe?” I asked.

“Yeah, that is the best size.” He admitted.

“Well, I got the pattern all designed. You’ll need to supply your own Joe. And I still need to get the material.” I thought out loud.

“Um, Heather? Would you mind if we make a few more stops tonight?” He gave her a puppy dog face.

“Really?” Mom asked. She laughed and just shook her head. “You are just as bad as Henry is. You boys and your dolls.”

“Action figures!” Eric and I corrected in unison.

Mom snorted. “Fine. I do need to pick up a few things I missed for a client.”

We ended up getting fast food so that we didn’t miss going to the shops. We hit the toy store for the Joe, the fabric store for the materials and things mom needed, and even a comic shop.

Heading to the graphic novel section, Eric found a particular Victorion storyline where he met the negaverse version of himself. “Can you make the negaverse Victorion?”

Examining the picture on the front cover, it seemed like all the colors were reversed. “Shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t think I’ve read this one.” I casually flipped through a few pages.

“You haven’t?” Eric sounded aggrieved. “This is one of the most important stories in Victorion’s history. It is how he ends up meeting Darewind.”

Most of the Victorion comics I had read were after the two were a team. I never thought to look back at the earlier stuff.

“Then it’s settled!” Eric declared, “We’re getting you that one, and this one, and maybe those. Oh, and this is what ties those together.” By the time he finished paying, my arms were filled with about ten graphic novels.

“Are you sure you want to get him all those?” mom asked concerned.

“Absolutely!” Eric replied. “After all, spreading the awesomeness that is Victorion to the younger generations is my duty as a true fan.”

“And it scores points from his mom?” she asked slyly.

With a frank expression, he said, “It might have crossed my mind.”

They kissed right there in the store. I might have made some sort of reaction, if I hadn’t had my nose buried in one of the books.

“And what do I get if I get him the spin off series?” Eric asked with a raised eyebrow.

Mom playfully slapped him on the chest. “You’re terrible. Now shut up and dispense with more of those affections.” It took the sales clerk to clear his throat to move the lot of us along.

By the time we made it home, Eric couldn’t wait to see the costumes in person. So mom offered to keep Eric company in the living room while I brought the Joes out. Thinking back on it, I wonder if she wanted just a little time with him to sneak in a few more kisses.

I did have more costumes than Joes to wear them so it did mean I had to spend extra time changing some of them into other outfits. After doing this and running between my room and the living room, I was extremely tired by the time I showed the last one. Seeing this, mom suggested I should get ready for bed.

Yawning I tried to protest, but Eric snatched up the Joe that looked like an ancient martial arts monk and held it up. He made a funny voice for the Joe as it told me, “Sleep is the path to enlightenment. It is the wise fish that knows when to return to its home.”

This was the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life, or I was just that tired, because I laughed until tears rolled down my face. Then I started to hiccup.

“I’ll get you a spoon of peanut butter for those hiccups. But you need to get into pajamas. And say goodnight to Eric,” mom ordered.

No longer having the will to struggle, I hugged her goodnight. Eric in turn held out his fist in the Victorion salute which I completed before hiccupping my way to my room. I was halfway into pajamas when mom joined me and gave me the peanut butter. Like a trick, the hiccupping stopped.

I finished getting ready for bed and mom helped tuck me in. As she did, she asked, “So, how do you like Eric?”

“He’s awesome,” I yawned. “Please thank him for the graphic novels. I forgot to do that.” My eyelids were already closing.

“I’ll do that,” she whispered and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I’m not sure when Eric left, since I didn’t wake up until morning.

Upon waking, mom informed me that I would have a play date with Sam after school on Monday. She was happy to see I hit it off with Eric so well, but she kind of wanted some time with him all to herself. This worked out well for me since I wanted to tell Sam about Eric and wanted her take on it. The tricky part was that she knew I typically went dressed as Lilly over to Sam’s place. So she would pick me up from school to take me home then Sam and one of her parents would come pick me up to go to Sam’s place.

As for the rest of the day, we each worked on our projects. I needed to sew all the pieces of Durby’s outfit together so that I could get started on the Victorion project. Plus I wanted to get to reading some of the graphic novels Eric had bought me.

By the end of the day, I had only a small bit of embroidery to do on Durby, one graphic novel nearly done, and I found the paper patterns I had prepared for Victorion. I had started work on them when I realized the Robin Hood costume had needed all my attention. Looking them over, I thought about improving a few of the samples before cutting the material.

Before I knew it, Monday was here and I was back in class. Instead of my usual notebook, my bag was filled with the adventures of Victorion. I was surprised Sam was unfamiliar with the hero. So we spent most of the time with our heads buried in the books.

“Oh, before I forget. My dad and I will be stopping by about a half hour after school.” This was a very off-hand remark. It didn’t register right then that I had never met her father. He was always at a meeting or on a business trip.

Once home, I recalled Sam’s fears about how he reacted to her male friends. So when I got home I made sure to dress a bit more feminine than normal. Therefore, when Sam and her dad arrived, I was sporting a pink plaid skirt with a white top that had extra lace on the hems. I even wore knee high socks and some mary janes. Mom even helped put a pink ribbon in my hair.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to impress someone,” mom pointed out.

I ducked my head. “Sort of, I’ve never met Mr. Morgan before.”

“Oh!” Mom’s shock was evident. “Now that you mention it, neither have I.” Just then the doorbell rang. “That might be them.” I was sitting at mom’s vanity while she was fixing the ribbon. She left to go get the door.

Looking over her makeup selection, I spied a soft pink lipstick. With an inspired instance of bravery, I snatched it up and applied some. Remembering to rub my lips together, I checked the result in the mirror. I had to admit, I was cute.

“Ah, you must be Sam’s father. I’m Heather, Henry’s mother.” I couldn’t quite hear the reply. I could only make out a low rumble. Then mom spoke in haste. “What? Oh yes, and Lilly!” She scrambled for words. “I simply mentioned Henry since he goes to school with Sam.” Again the low response. “Oh no, Lilly goes to a different school.”

I winced at how poor I thought the conversation was going. I hopped up and ran to the front of the house to help her out. Rounding the corner, Sam was the first to spot me.

“Lilly!” she beamed. Then her eyes went wide. “You’re looking extra nice today.”

I muttered a small, “Thanks,” when I took in Sam’s father. He was as tall as Eric. Unlike Eric, Mr. Morgan had broad shoulders and a neatly trimmed beard and mustache. He practically loomed over my mom.

Seeing me, a warm smile filled the stern countenance of Mr. Morgan. In his deep bass of a voice, he greeted me. “Hello, you must be Lilly, the one my little Samster has been going on about.”

“Daddy,” Sam whined. “I told you not to use that nickname in public.”

With an indulgent look, he gave her a nod. “My mistake. When Princess Samantha commands, I am all ears.”

Sam put one of her hands on her hip and wagged a finger at the big man. “You’re doing it again. Besides I don’t want you scaring Lilly.”

He blinked. “You know I scare away only the boys. It’s my fatherly right.”

“You’ve scared away all my friends,” Sam scolded.

“Well, they’ve all been boys until now.” He turned back to me and gave an elegant bow. “But this is the Lady Lilly. I shall be the most courteous of gentlemen.”

Sam rolled her eyes and faced me to explain, “Daddy thinks he’s a knight. He even dresses up to go to fairs and things.”

“Oh, you attend the renaissance fairs?” mom asked.

“Indeed, it is a marvelous way to disconnect from the electronics that run our lives,” answered the mountain of a man.

“Shouldn’t we get going?” Sam asked the room at large.

Pounding a fist to his chest, her father barked, “As the princess wills!” Nodding to my mom, “By your leave, Lady Heather. I shall protect thy daughter as if she was my own.”

“Okay?” Mom was a bit uncertain how to take this.

“Don’t worry Ms. Miller. Dad just acts like that,” Sam soothed. “Come on Lilly.” She took my hand and pulled me along.

“Bye mom,” I called as I went out the door. “Tell Eric I said hi.”

“Who’s Eric?” Sam asked.

“That’s what I want to talk to you about,” I confessed.

“Ugh, girls.” I heard mom say with exasperation as she closed the door behind us.

“Hey, are you wearing lipstick?” Sam was fixated on my mouth.

“Yeah, like it?” I made an exaggerated puckered motion with my lips.

Bobbing her head emphatically, she replied, “I love the color.”

I was surprised when we came to the car and Sam’s dad had opened the door for us and ushered us into the back seat. “Oh, uh, thank you, Mr. Morgan.” My demur response made his eyes twinkle.

“Lady Lilly, I do believe you’ll be a great influence on my princess.”

Sam gave another eye roll. I was afraid she might get stuck looking at the top of her head. I was about to say as much when she spoke with a sigh, “Thank you, daddy.”

Fortunately for all of us, he didn’t make a big scene, just said, “You’re welcome.” He sounded like warm butter with his rich full rumbling speech and the pride that was obvious adoration for his girl.

Once we were on the road, Sam and I got into a discussion about makeup and all the tips mom had told me. I had even kept hold of the lipstick, which I then had slipped into my purse. I confessed that I wanted to match the ribbon in my hair. I had wanted to see in the mirror just how it all looked together. I now pulled out the tube.

“Daddy,” Sam began in her sweetest of tones. “Can I try on this lipstick?”

I could see Mr. Morgan’s eyes narrow in the rear view mirror. “Will it attract boys?”

Sam looked to me then back at the mirror so that she could see her dad. “Does Lilly count? I mean we’re not planning to go anywhere but back home.”

His glare softened. “Of course Lilly doesn’t count in that way.” He took in a deep breath. “I suppose you can.”

With his permission, I proceeded to instruct Sam on how to put on lipstick. I even got out a face tissue in case she applied too much. By the time she was done, I could see why she had noticed my lips so quick. The soft pink stood out and drew my attention to that part of the face.

“Well?” she prompted.

“It looks amazing,” I confirmed. She handed me back mom’s lipstick which I replaced in my purse.

We soon were pulling into Sam’s driveway. Hopping out of the car, Sam pointed to her mouth when she got her dad’s attention. “Look!”

“Yes, very nice.” He cleared his throat. “Now get inside before I have to kill any boys.”

This put a spring in her step. Calling over one shoulder, she beckoned, “Come on Lilly. You still got to tell me who Eric is.”

I carefully got out of the vehicle making sure not to flash Mr. Morgan. I hadn’t had much practice wearing skirts so was a bit slow. “Sorry Mr. Morgan. I wouldn’t have brought up the lipstick if she hadn’t noticed.”

He made a slight chuckle. “It’s not your fault, my dear. She’s been begging to try makeup on for a while now. I’m just glad she has a friend who is-” he thought about his next words then decided on,”-more restrained about its application.”

I said, “My mom told me a little can do a lot and too much can do nothing for you.”

“Smart woman,” he approved.

“Lilly!” called Sam from inside.

“You better get in there,” Mr. Morgan observed.

“Thank you for the ride.” I wasn’t sure what to say or do. By instinct, I held out my hand to shake.

In one swift motion, he took my hand and bent over it to kiss the air above it. “The pleasure was all mine, Ms. Lilly.” Releasing my palm, he gestured for me to proceed him into the house.

Entering and heading up to Sam’s room, I had to wonder if this is how Eric would act during the play? It was hard to imagine the large comic book nerd behaving any different. Was this how men reacted when interacting with girls? It was going to be interesting to see. Perhaps Sam had some idea as to what to expect. Time for a bit of girl talk I suppose.


	17. Preparations

I told Sam all about Eric, but she only got interested when I mentioned he kissed my mom. “Was it intense and passionate or was it a quick peck on the cheek?” she interrogated.

“Um, somewhere in between. He did pull her into his arms, but it was sort of in a joke way.” I was trying to remember every detail. “I think she was blushing afterward and speechless. But that might have been because Eric and I were marching out of the house.”

“Show me,” Sam ordered.

So we stood in her room as I pulled her in and spun her into my arms. After the kiss was over, I noticed her lipstick was smeared. “You need to fix your lips.” I pointed out.

She chuckled, “You too.” We used tissues to clean up and then reapply the makeup.

“We look so refined,” Sam admired our side-by-side reflections as we looked into her closet mirror. “I wish we had somewhere to go to look fancy.”

“Oh, well I do,” I blurted out. “Eric is taking mom and me to a play this weekend. And I get to dress as Lilly.”

Sam’s eyes went wide. “Really? Oh geez, why didn’t you say that to begin with?”

“You wanted to know about Eric,” I supplied.

She waved that away. “What are you wearing to it?”

I laid out my plans for the dress I wanted to wear. Then I was pretty sure I could wear makeup to the show.

“But you’re already wearing makeup,” Sam was perplexed.

I avoided her stare and confessed, “I kind of didn’t ask to take the lipstick.”

“Lilly! You’re so bad.” Sam went to lie on her bed. On her stomach, she propped up her head with one hand. “So, what will your mom be wearing?”

“I don’t know. We hadn’t talked about it.” It hadn’t occurred to me to even ask, but now that Sam brought it up I was curious.

With her free hand, she wagged a finger at me. “You should get her to the store we went to last time and get her to pick something out.” She waggled her eyebrows. “Maybe you can even help her pick out something sexy.”

My mouth dropped open. I knew Sam was aware I had seen my mom be sexual. But that was by herself. This would be for Eric. “Ew, Sam. I don’t think so.”

“Come on, aren’t you curious?” She rolled over to her back and put on a sultry expression. In her huskiest voice she said, “Eric my lover, won’t you please help me out of these things.” Sam then ran her hands over her own body, suggesting the idea she had on sexy lingerie.

“Sam!” I squealed, “That’s my mom you’re talking about.” I snatched up a pillow and threw it at her.

Pulling the pillow off, she then changed to a pleading look. “Please Lilly. I want to know how a single woman dresses for, you know.” She pointed to her crotch. “My mom is married so doesn’t really buy that type of stuff. Besides, wouldn’t you want to know so you can attract a man?”

This sent mixed feelings through my head. Did she not consider me a man? We did kiss a number of times and it seemed like she liked it. And I was pretty sure I wasn’t interested in boys. Besides, what would I do with them if I was? I decided to tease back instead, “Is that what you want, my big strong manly Sam? Do you want your Lilly to look all sexy?” I hooded my eyes and pouted.

Sam was silent for a bit longer than I was expecting. But before I stopped my little sex kitten act, she responded in an exaggerated deep tone. “Oh baby. That’s exactly what your Sam wants.”

We paused and looked straight into each other’s eyes. There was, for a second, a spark of connection that was both instant and visceral. Then the moment passed and we both broke into giggles. This devolved into us becoming super serious, only to crack each other up when we looked at one another.

It took some time for the mirth to subside. By the time it did, we were both on our backs on her bed staring at the ceiling. “Hey Lilly, I was wondering if I could ask you for a big favor.”

“Sure, what is it?” My response was immediate.

Sam took a moment to continue. It was as if she was gaining courage. Instead of asking, she started explaining, “I want to draw the next part of the Copy comic, but I ran into an issue. I sort of need to see something so I can draw it right.”

I wasn’t sure what I could do about this problem. I decided to ask, “So, how can I help?”

She sat up and had a dead serious expression. “You can say no, but I want you to promise not to freak out.”

I sat up with her. Now I was concerned. “How can I promise that if I don’t know what you need?”

She seemed pained. “I don’t want you to think I’m a weirdo.”

“Oh, Sam.” I reached out and cupped her face. “That won’t happen… since I already think you’re a weirdo.”

It took a moment for that to sink in. “You jerk!” She grabbed the pillow I had thrown and wacked me with it. “I’m being serious.”

Raising my hands in defense, I stood up to get away. When I was out of reach, I spun around. “Okay, okay, truce.” She stopped her preparations for throwing the cushion at my head. “Listen Sam. If I’m dressed like this-” I moved my hands over my outfit. “-do you think I could call anyone else a weirdo?”

She bit her lip considering, then shook her head. “No, I guess not.”

“Good.” I fixed my skirt and top which had gone askew in the scuffle. Once I was back in order, I placed my hands on my hips. “Now, tell me, what’s the favor.”

“Can I see your penis?” Her attention was fixed on her hands as they clenched the pillow.

My mouth opened and closed several times without working. On one hand, that was extremely personal. On the other, Sam would be the one person I’d want to see my lower region. She must think I was a man, right? I finally found my words. “Would you need me to take off all my clothes?”

Her big blue eyes fixed on me. She grinned. “No, you can just stay dressed like Lilly.” She went on to explain that in the scene she wanted to draw Hendrix with his new powers wanting to touch his girl parts. But each time he attempted it, he would end up grabbing his own dick. Turns out, he needs to really focus to maintain the change. Problem is, he wants to touch the vagina because he’s horny so ends up thinking about his own genitals.

Sam turned a fetching shade of red when she admitted that she had looked at her own body to draw the scenes where he had a pussy. The thing is, the only penis she had seen so far was the one in the instructional video at school. And since Hendrix was sort of based on Henry, she was hoping to get a real life model.

To be honest, I was getting rather excited to see Sam’s privates in the comic. This made my cock respond by throbbing and becoming a bit irritating in my panties.

Sam dug out her sketch pad and pencils then turned on a few more lights. She sat at her desk and gestured for me to lift my skirt.

I took a hold of my skirt’s hem when a knock came from Sam’s door. Her dad’s head popped in. I released my skirt as if it burned me.

“Excuse the interruptions, my ladies, but would spaghetti suffice your dining prerogatives? Oh, what are you doing?”

Sam was the first to recover. “Spaghetti sounds fine dad. Lilly is just modeling for me so I can draw her.”

“Ah, a finer bloom of loveliness could not be found. I look forward to the art.” He then closed the door behind him.

“Shoot, now I have to draw another picture first.” She sighed and looked me over. “Although that might be kind of fun too.” She then arranged me so I sat gazing out a window. “Let’s start with that. And then maybe after dinner we can do the other thing.” She winked.

I was surprised to find out just how fast Sam could sketch. By the time we were called for supper, she had most of my outline finished. She thought that would be enough for her to complete it later and show her dad, while we moved on to the next project.

The meal was delicious. Along with the main dish were fresh French bread and a salad with Italian dressing. I almost asked for seconds when I noticed Sam had trouble finishing her own plate. I didn’t want to seem unladylike, so refrained from pigging out. As we let the food digest, her father asked, “So have you invited Lilly to celebrate your birthday?”

I turned to Sam. I didn’t know when her birthday was. “Sam?”

Sam appeared stunned as well. “I totally forgot,” she said. “I’m so sorry Lilly. It’s a week after school ends for the summer.”

Sam had joined our class really late into the school year. That’s why it was already hot enough to go swimming. It hadn’t dawned on me yet that Sam and I had a whole summer to look forward to. In fact, it was fast approaching. “That sounds awesome.”

“Maybe, you can do a sleep over,” her dad suggested.

Sam and I both knew getting this approved by the moms would be a bit tough. Sam covered by saying, “You’d have to convince Lilly’s mom. She’s super protective.”

“Never fear my dear, “her father announced with a gallant toss of his head. “I shall seek the permission for you.”

Not wanting to complicate matters further we agreed. We then helped clean our plates and asked to be excused.

“Very well my ladies. If you need me, I shall be in the den watching the game of ball!” When we both appeared befuddled he clarified with a clearing of his throat. “Baseball.”

As we nodded in realization, we shared a look and snorted simultaneously. With that, we ran back up to Sam’s room and this time she locked the door.

My palms were sweaty and pulse quickened just a little faster as she faced me. Rubbing her hands together, she had a devilish glee about her. “All right, let’s get to work!”

She sat once again at her desk preparing to sketch. She turned to a blank page, stopped, and then retrieved a whole new pad. When I tilted my head as to ask a question she answered, “If I show my dad the other picture he may want to see the other things I’ve drawn on that pad. So new pad to be safe.” She held it up and waved it about for emphasis. Once she was situated, she then gave a sharp nod to me.

My throat was dry and it was hard to swallow. As for my heart, it now felt like it was in my ears. With a trembling hand, I pulled up the front of my skirt revealing my panties and a growing bulge. Wiping my hand on my top, I then reached for the waistband of my panties.

Something inside me wanted to cry. I was overwhelmed with emotions I couldn’t identify. Inch by inch, the fabric went down. As it passed that crucial point, my member broke loose and sprung free.

There was an audible gasp from Sam as that inflamed part of me pointed in her direction. The air caressing my sensitive flesh put goosebumps along my arm. Looking down, it seemed to glisten especially at the tip.

With great reverence, Sam remarked, “It’s bigger than I imagined.”

This comment made my chest tighten with pride. Even my nipples grew tight and hard. “Thanks. It’s not always like this though,” I admitted.

Sam and I avoided making eye contact as her pencil made scratching sounds on the paper. I couldn’t see her drawing from my angle. I could only note that Sam’s focus was laser sharp. It was as if she could see deeper into my genitals and understand why they were so inflamed. She could see my desire for her in its plainest most unadulterated form.

I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that. It felt like an hour, but it also felt like a minute. There was no grasp on time. The intensity of the experience warped all sense of reality. But eventually it did end.

Sam closed her pad and set the pencil down on top of it. She put her hands in her lap and had her knees held tight together. Her head remained bowed. “Okay, I think I got it.”

I dropped my skirt down over my cock. Reaching down I pulled up the panties. Problem was that I was still tenting the fabric. In a hushed utterance, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

Once locked safe and sound in a private room I peered at my reflection. To my amazement I saw tear tracks down my face. I knew I felt like crying, but I was unaware that I actually did cry. Using the sink, I splashed cool water on my face. And to my relief, the shock of seeing my tears had allowed my penis to shrink a bit.

It was still hot to the touch, so I gave it some cool water. That really did the trick. Along with making me jump, my dick was back to normal. Tucking it back into my panties, I carefully straightened everything out. Taking a deep breath I did a practice smile in the mirror. Once again the shy pretty girl known as Lilly grinned back and I was ready to face Sam.

Entering her room, I spied that she was sketching again. “What are you working on now?” I asked.

As if caught with her hand in the cookie jar, she dropped her pencil and shut the drawing pad. “Oh! It’s you.” She bent and picked up the pencil. “I was adding shading to the drawing…” she trailed off not wanting to elaborate.

“Can I see it?” I held out one hand toward the pad.

Sam finally met my stare. “You sure?”

Not trusting my voice, I nodded. She then handed over the pad. With trembling hands, I flipped it open and found the drawing. It was amazing how lifelike it appeared. She even drew in a bit of the folds of the skirt at the top and some of the panties down below. But the object in high detail was my cock. I can’t say I ever studied my privates so closely, but I had a sense that I was studying my own genitals. I felt obligated to say something, “It looks very realistic.”

Sam brightened, “You think so?”

“Totally!” I gushed. “I think this can even be called porn.”

Sam choked at that remark. “Don’t say that. That makes me feel bad.”

“Sorry, but you did say Hendrix was trying to be naughty with his female body didn’t you?” I observed.

“Yes, but-” Sam was at a loss.

“Yes but what?” I encouraged.

She flapped her hands in frustration. “You know, boys. They’re perverts.”

I put one hand on a hip while the other turned the drawing toward Sam. “Well, then who asked who to see their naughty bits?”

“But you’re Lilly,” Sam attempted to justify.

“And that makes you what?” I persisted.

Sam pulled her hair in front of her face to hide behind. “You promised not to call me a weirdo,” she moaned.

“No, you wanted me not to freak out. And I never called you a weirdo.” I then shut up and moved the picture right in front of her face so when she finally peaked out from behind her hair, I added, “You are a pervert.”

She tore the pad from my hand and threw it to one side. Groaning she thumped her head on her desk. “Just kill me.”

I thought I’d put her out of her misery. So I leaned in and whispered, “And I think it’s sexy.”

Sam went motionless. The air grew charged, but before she could say anything the doorbell rang. We both started at the sound. A moment later I could hear Sam’s dad call out.

“My lady Lilly, your mother is here to fetch you.”

Picking up the thrown pad, I placed it in Sam’s hands. Seeing she had started to cry, I gave her a reassuring hug. It was nice to know this event had affected her just as much as it had me. As I released her, I mentioned that I’d try to convince my mom to go shopping and that I was looking forward to her birthday.

In response she hopped up and gave me a tight hug. In a hoarse rasp, she spoke, “Thank you for letting me draw… you.”

I reached down and gave her hands a squeeze. “We’ll have to do it again some time.” And with her shocked expression, I left the room to go meet mom.

Once I was in the car, mom said something that made me freeze. “So, a birthday party sleepover?”

Red strands of hair fell into my face. I reached up and brushed them back. I didn’t know how she’d react to Sam’s birthday party. I guess her dad must of brought it up like he intonated he’d do. “Uh, yeah. Mr. Morgan mentioned it at dinner.”

Mom looked pensive. “So neither you or Sam brought the idea up?”

I shook my head. “No, it was his idea.” I considered it for a second. “I think Sam has trouble making friends with girls and her dad got really excited for her.”

“Would you want to go to her birthday party?” she asked.

“Of course! Sam’s my best friend.” Then I slumped. “But I don’t think her dad would let Henry come. And I can’t sleep with this wig. It’s too uncomfortable and itchy.” I reached up and scratched. Just the thought of it made my skin react.

To my shock, mom burst out laughing. “That’s your big concern? I thought-” She broke off and shook her head. “Never mind what I thought.” She sighed and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. Blowing out her breath, she shrugged. “Well, maybe we can make it work. You’ll be out of school by then.”

I wasn’t sure what mom would be worried about. Then what Sam and I did earlier today flashed in my mind. I shifted in my seat, feeling the arousal. It was fortunate that mom was preoccupied that she didn’t see me shift around. Getting my mind off of the subject, I piped up, “Sam thinks you should get something nice to wear when we go see the play.”

“Does she now?” Mom finally started up the car and got on the road.

“Yeah, she thinks you could use that card her mom gave you.” I pointed to her handbag. “I think you put it in your purse.”

“Oh, I had almost forgotten about that.” She glanced my way. “I guess we can pop in to see how much is on it. Are you okay dressed like that?”

I beamed, “I kind of already went to the store dressed this way.”

“That’s right.” She turned on her signal to make a u-turn. “Then I guess we can make this a girls’ night out.

The department store was located in a very affluent part of the city. Mom looked a bit nervous stepping into the store. We were both surprised when a lady called out to me.

“Well, if it isn’t Ms. Lilly. And who’s this with you? Is this your older sister?” It was Stacy the store manager. “Oh, I hope she didn’t also lose her suitcases.”

Mom frowned not remembering what Sam’s mom had explained earlier. Sparing me a look, she was at a loss. I explained, “Mrs. Morgan told Stacy the manager about my suitcases being lost and that’s why I needed so many things.”

Mom’s mouth formed an “O” in understanding. She returned Stacy’s bright smile with one of her own. “No, not her sister. I’m her mother.”

“Ah! Well, then how can I help Ms. Lilly’s beautiful mother?” I’ve never seen someone in the stores we go to be so complementary. I guess if you pay more it’s an added benefit?

“Oh, yes, uh, could you tell us how much is on this gift card?” Mom took several attempts to pull out the card and thrust it out like it would bite her.

“Of course.” Stacy with one smooth motion took the card and led us to a counter. After consulting the screen she returned it. “Five hundred. Anything else?”

“Dollars?” mom asked stunned.

“Yes?” Stacy furrowed her brow. “Was there supposed to be more? If there was, I can maybe credit the card with-”

Mom shook the suggestion away with her free hand. The other was holding the gift card with reverence. “I just, wasn’t expecting that much.”

“Oh! Then I’m happy for your surprise.” Stacy had really white teeth and they were on show. “Might you be looking for anything in particular?”

“I…uh, well-” I could tell mom was still processing our new fortune.

I decided to volunteer a bit of help. “We’re going to a fancy play this weekend with mom’s new boyfriend.” This last remark I said with a sly wink.

Stacy’s grin went up a few hundred more watts. “I see. You’re women on a mission.” She pointed to one part of the store. “Women’s dresses are over there, right pass the shoes. Accessories are right across the aisle from it. And if you go a little further, you’ll get to the lingerie.” She paused and gave me a wink in return then added, “For the boyfriend.”

Taking mom by the hand, we headed off where Stacy had pointed. Mom was still trying to pull her attention away from the gift card she held. She was eventually able to manage to put it in her purse. By that time we were passing the jewelry section when the saleslady I had run into the last time I was here stopped me.

“Oh, you’re back. Did you finally decide to get your ears pierced?” She was a bit matronly compared to Stacy.

“We’re actually here for my mom. We’re going to go see a play.” My enthusiasm for shopping seemed keener than before now that I had a certain event to shop for. It didn’t even seem to matter that I wasn’t buying things for myself.

“Oh, then earrings would look very lovely for that.” She looked between me and my mom. “Of course, you’d need a guardian’s permission.”

Mom bit her lip unsure how to respond. We had barely broached the subject of makeup and piercings seemed a lot more permanent.

Seeing mom’s indecision, the lady pressed, “You know it’s much easier for girls to have their ears pierced when they are young. That’s why I had my daughters ears pierced when they were babies. But then my eldest daughter decided to wait and now her girl is afraid.” She looked at me, “You’re not afraid, are you dear?”

I wasn’t aware I should be scared. Trepidation filled me at hearing this. I turned to mom for comfort, “Mom?”

“She has a point. I just don’t-” mom started.

But after listening to mom’s first words, the woman headed behind her counter. “Excellent! Let me just get the gun.”

What was the gun for? I began to tremble. I was excited to go shopping with mom and now I was going to get shot? I gripped mom’s hand even tighter. “Is she going to shoot me?”

“No, she’s just… um, excuse me?” Mom had been comforting me when she looked up.

Fingers grabbed my earlobe and something was pressed against my ear. Before I knew it, a sharp pinch on my ear surprised me. “Ouch,” I yelped.

“Shh, just one more.” The lady turned my head to get my other ear.

I now spied the device she was holding. It sort of appeared to be a gun. She was priming it with something. Mom, on the other hand, was caught flat footed. She wasn’t sure if she should put her hands on the older woman or let her finish. Seeing as I wasn’t crying, she hesitated.

With an efficient movement, the lady had engaged the gun and sent another sharp stab into my other earlobe. “All done. Now make sure to keep those in for at least a couple of weeks so they don’t close up. You’ll want to clean them throughout that time and rotate the studs.”

Uncertain as to what had occurred, I reached up and felt of a tiny stud in my ear. My skin was a bit sensitive, but otherwise it didn’t bother me.

Now, mom sprung into action. “We didn’t want his-” she corrected herself, “-this, done!”

The lady blinked slow placid eyes. “You didn’t?”

“No!” Mom was trying to hold her temper in check. She really hated when people made scenes in public.

“Well, why didn’t you stop me?” the lady’s retort had an edge of stubbornness.

“By the time you did the first ear, I thought it was too late.” Some of mom’s steam was leaving her.

“Look, it can’t be undone,” the woman pointed out. “How about this, if you buy some earrings I won’t charge you for the piercing?”

“But we didn’t want the piercing!” mom growled.

Tugging on her arm, I got mom’s attention. “It wouldn’t be bad for you to get something nice for the weekend.”

This brought mom under control. She pinched the bridge of her nose and took some calming breaths. “All right, fine.” Mom made a point of only selecting one pair from the clearance rack to show her displeasure.

Frankly, I don’t think the woman minded in the least. After all, she did make another sale. It took a bit of browsing to convince mom I liked the earrings and that I’d be fine no matter how I was dressed.

By the time she was back to herself, we had found a black and white paisley dress for her, some black strappy heels, a thick black belt, all which matched the black bead earrings she had picked up. I think she was in a dark mood. All that remained was the lingerie. This had gone surprisingly quick. Being a seamstress, mom had a real good sense of what would work on her body without trying clothes on. Underwear was a different story.

“We don’t have to pick up any more things really,” she protested.

“But you said all the stuff I got was nicer than what you had. Besides, you really liked Mrs. Morgan’s bra. Did we ever give that back to her?” I had lost track of where it had gone.

“Oh yeah, the next day I dropped it off while you were at school.” Mom was eyeballing a rack of lacy undergarments.

I walked towards the rack and pulled off a black bra and held it up. “Come on, besides Stacy said this would be for Eric.” My innocence hadn’t put two and two together until after I watched mom turn a bright shade of red. I felt I shouldn’t stare, so brought my gaze down to the lingerie I held. That’s when I noticed something. “Hey! It’s on sale!”

“Really?” Mom moved to take it from me. “It is! Oh, I love this brand. They’re just so expensive.” Making up her mind she said, “Look for a 34C, in black.”

They turned out to be lower down on the rack. I found two. Peering closer they seemed different. They were the same brand and style, but one appeared more blue. “I found the black!” I announced. “They also have it in navy blue.”

“Let me see.” Mom reached down and I handed them over. “Oh, they’re exquisite.” She did some mental math with everything we found. “I think it’ll cover it. Boy, this place is pricey.”

“Are you going to try those on?” Unlike the dress, mom didn’t go through her normal routine of eyeballing the lengths of the fabric.

“I should. It’s been so long since I had one of these and that’s when I was a different size.” She held it up. “I wish these were more like dresses or shirts then I wouldn’t have to bother.”

Watching her dart around looking for something, I figured she needed to know where the dressing room was. “It’s over there.” It was located behind a big display that covered up the fitting room sign.

The dressing room had a counter where you told the clerk how many items you were taking in. Sam and I had to make several trips when we were shopping since the limit was eight items. The girl behind the counter also offered to hold any items we weren’t trying on as well.

“Oh, my daughter was just going to stay out here with the items.” Mom replied.

“It’s no problem.” The sales associates were aggressive in their helpfulness. “I’ll hold on to those and she can go in with you.”

Uncertain on how to argue with someone being so agreeable, mom gave up and took me with her. Not having my focus so fixed on clothes I wanted to try on, I noticed just how luxurious the dressing rooms were. They didn’t have benches as much as plush furniture in each room. And that’s the other thing, they were actual rooms not just strange cubical stalls.

Mom was giving me funny looks as we entered. I was holding the bras for her since she had to hand over all the rest of the items. Absently, I handed her the black bra as I sat in the love seat examining the blue one.

Thinking back on it, I believe mom didn’t want to change in front of me. She was trying to get my attention to most likely make me turn around, but that wouldn’t help all that much because of all the mirrors in the place. As it was, I was absorbed in the lingerie.

I could recall putting on Mrs. Morgan’s bra and how nice it felt. This was also so silky. I traced my finger along the delicate lace along the top edge. Between the two cups was a bow shaped like a miniature rose with a metal heart dangling from it.

I guess since she couldn’t get me to pay attention, it wouldn’t be an issue. She put her purse beside me and her top and bra soon joined it. I looked over at her bra and compared it with the one I held.

It was plain white with only small traces of lace. It didn’t feel half as nice. And parts of the old one seemed a bit worn down. I was about to point this out when mom spoke up, “Well?”

Raising my head I was treated to a sight. Hands on hips mom looked extremely young in the black brassiere. She also appeared to be, bigger.

“Are you supposed to look-” I cupped my hands in front of my own chest to suggest breasts. “-so much bigger? And you look super young.”

I think both comments were what she was hoping to hear because she beamed. “Yeah, that’s why I like these so much.”

I placed the blue bra over my own chest and looked down. Mom’s laughter filled the room. “I doubt they’d do much for you.”

“Well, it definitely is nicer than this.” I held up her old bra.

“You’re telling me. I already hate to take this off.” Without thinking about it she unclasped it and let it fall free exposing her feminine mounds. They dropped a bit being no longer supported. Their rosy pink nipples drew the eye.

Equally oblivious, I handed her the old bra and took the one she had just tried on. I figured she didn’t need to try on the blue one if the black fit. I watched as she clasped the bra in front then spun it around before putting her arms through the straps. It was while she was settling each breast within its cup that she went still, noticing she had my full attention.

This time I spoke up. “That’s how you put on a bra! I was having so much trouble with mine.”

Registering what I said mom began shaking. Then her laughter broke forth. Between gasps, she managed to say, “That’s right, I totally forgot to show you.” She was now wiping away tears. “I can just imagine you struggling.” When I didn’t respond with the same reaction, but rather a severe pout, she finally got a hold of herself. “I’m so sorry, my love. Yes, that’s how you put on a bra. Now, can you hand me my top?”

After getting all her clothing back on and retrieving the rest of our items, we went back to the lingerie. Mom went straight to the matching panties for the bras. “Help me find a medium. One in each color,” she ordered.

It didn’t take long for us to find them. I was so happy when I found them that I commented, “Eric will be happy to see you in these.” I then clamped my mouth shut.

Mom in turn replied automatically, “I bet he will.” She too had acknowledged what she said.

We shared a look and then burst out in giggles. I think it was more from nerves than anything else.

With a knowing expression, mom asked, “And what would you know about that young lady?”

I presented her with my most cherubic face. “That’s what manager Stacy said.” You could bake a cake or three with all the sugar I used in my voice.

“Mmm, hmm,” mom responded unconvinced.

“Well? Won’t he?” I asked my innocent act played to the hilt.

This time she turned away, hiding her face with her hair. But I could still see the flush at her neckline. “It’s getting late. We better get home.”

To her credit, it was a school night and my bedtime was fast approaching. So we went to pay and headed back home.

When we got home, mom reminded me to remove what lipstick I had remaining. She then helped me clean my ears. “Make sure not to play with them too much,” she instructed. I promised her I wouldn’t, finished getting ready for bed, and was soon off to sleep. I was about to face my first day as a boy with earrings. In the grand scheme of things, it might be relatively unimportant, but in my mind it was my biggest issue. I just hoped I could be prepared for whatever happened next.


	18. Beautiful Dreams

I was riding horseback through the countryside. I was in a beautiful gown and knew that I was a princess. For some reason, I was fixated that I needed to ride the horse the correct way to accommodate my dress, but the knight who rode behind me assured me it would be fine.

“My princess! Do not sully your mind on such trivial matters,” boomed Sir Morgan. “Behold your castle awaits!” With an outstretched arm, he pointed over my shoulder to a towering edifice. 

Tall pointed towers thrusted into the sky. Banners of crimson waved at their highest points. What sounded at first like a babbling brook resolved itself to be a throng of peasants awaiting our arrival. Spotting us, they broke into shouts of, “Hail! Princess Henry!”

I wanted to quiet them since I didn’t want Sir Morgan to hear. But, before I knew it, we were in the midst of the crowd. As the horse reached the town center, Sir Morgan dismounted. Grabbing me by my hips, he pulled me free from the beast. Held up like that I felt the wind catch my skirts and blew them clear up to my waist. I attempted to push them down, but it seemed as though the gown was getting shorter by the second.

“What a marvelous penis our princess has!” cried the masses.

“What is this!” bellowed the knight. Spinning around, he looked down upon me as I futilely tried to cover myself.

As if by an act of defiance, my cock grew enormous. It seemed to emerge like a leviathan from under my dress.

With the sound of scraping metal, Sir Morgan unsheathed his sword. “Never fear my princess. I shall dispose of this foul monster!”

“Wait!” cried a girl. It was Sam. “I must commemorate this moment in art.” She then produced an easel and canvass, and began to paint.

I attempted to look around to see how others would respond to this. To my shock, everyone was holding still for the portrait. “Um, how long will this take?” I asked.

“Oh! You are in a hurry?” asked Sam the painter. “Then I shall paint it.”

Before I knew it, I could feel the bristles of her brush on my phallus. The wet tacky sensation of the paint slid up and down my rock hard shaft. As this happened, I stepped away from my body and moved to see just what Sam was painting.

Along the length of my engorged manhood was the drawing Sam had made of my privates. “It looks very realistic,” I commented.

“Thanks Lilly,” Sam replied.

The odd thing was that she was painting a charcoal drawing. “Shouldn’t you be adding color?” I inquired.

“Oh that’s right, you want breasts,” Sam answered.

“What? How does that work?” I was eager to see the color of breasts.

As if by magic, the drawing of my dick became animated. Then more details emerged. Legs and a torso emerged out of the blank spaces. All the while, color bled into the image. Soon my chest resembled my mom’s naked mounds.

“Ah, I see.” My reaction was one of understanding.

Sam nodded and handed me a bra. It was her mom’s garment. As I put it on, I could feel an expansion of my body. It poured into the cups, filling and overflowing the delicate piece of lingerie. Soon the landscape was over taken by my heaving bosom. As far as the eye could see, it was nothing but my head sitting upon a sea of my own tits.

“Hello!” I yelled into the void.

“No need to scream dearie,” a kind older woman’s voice said from behind. “I’m here to pierce your ears.” And with the initial stab, I awoke.

My ears sent a small throb of pain, but subsided. When I had gotten home the day before, I was surprised to find that the studs the lady had put in were tiny pink crystal hearts. It wasn’t the most gender neutral choice she could have made, but I don’t think that was at the top of her priority list.

Light was creeping through my window so it wouldn’t be too much longer before I needed to get up for school at any rate. I decided to get up and go pee. 

I pulled up my night gown and pulled down my panties before sitting on the toilet. It took a moment before it dawned on me that I had worn my girl pajamas to bed. I didn’t wear the wig this time, so did manage to get a good night’s sleep. It was just curious that I had not gotten into my Henry clothes when I changed yesterday.

After cleaning up, I ran into mom in the hallway. She was carrying a cup of coffee and still wore her long night shirt. Having seen her bare breasts, it was hard not to notice the nipples that pushed out the fabric of her pajamas.

“Hey Hen, I was getting set to wake you up. Did you sleep okay?” She took a sip of her drink.

“Yeah,” I yawned rubbing my eyes. “I just needed to use the bathroom.”

“Well, no pointing getting back to bed. You might as well start your day.”

As I walked passed her into my room, she gave me a pat on the butt. I simply grumbled as I entered my room.

“Well, someone’s panties are in a bunch,” she quipped, then added, “Literally.”

I groaned.

It was no surprise that Sam noticed my earrings first when I got to school. “Are those hearts? Wait, did you get your ears pierced?”

In hushed whispers, I explained the whole story. It wasn’t easy, Ms. Krane had the class doing what she called a quiet assignment. I then described how mom and I picked up lingerie for Eric after the piercing fiasco.

Sam couldn’t wait for recess. When the bell rang, she practically dragged me over to the trees that we sat under. “Okay, spill it!” she demanded.

“Spill what?” I asked confused. I had pretty much covered everything.

She threw her hands up in the air. “Everything you dope!” She rolled her eyes then muttered, “What I wouldn’t give to be talking to Lilly about this. She’d understand.”

“Um, you know I’m right here, right?” Did Sam forget just who Lilly was?

She attempted to explain, “It’s just… you act different.”

“Different how?” I inquired.

She stomped her foot. “Stop derailing the conversation. Tell me again everything that happened.”

I gave up and did what she said. This time she peppered me with questions. What did your mom do when she pierced the first ear? Did it make you feel weird? And my personal favorite question of her’s was, did it hurt? “Sam,” I said, “You have pierced ears. Did it hurt you?”

She reached up and fingered one of her studs. She gave a sheepish smile, “Oh right, sorry.” That’s when the bell rang again, telling us to go back to class. “No!” she growled through clenched teeth.

That was pretty much how the entire day went with each break going over the day before in agonizingly slow detail. Sam needed to pick apart each and every moment so she could feel like she was there. I’m guessing she was avoiding thinking about what we had done just hours before my shopping excursion with mom.

I was a bit stunned when I brought up the part about my mom exposing her breasts to me and trying on the bra, that the only thing Sam focused on was imagining how Eric would react. “Do you think he’ll just have her leave it on?”

“What the bra?” I asked.

“Yeah. Or maybe he’ll rip it off her before throwing her to the bed.” She acted out some of the action.

“My mom probably wouldn’t like that, because she said it was kind of expensive,” I countered.

“Oh, then maybe she’ll do a sexy dance where she removes it.” Sam rotated her shoulders conveying how the sexy dance would go. She even shimmied her hips from side to side.

“Where do you get all these ideas from?” I had no idea how a sexy dance was supposed to go, but whatever Sam was doing did look interesting.

“Oh, you know. The internet.” She made it sound so inconsequential. “Though my parents have the computer set to family mode so I can’t see any of the dirty stuff.”

Now this was a game changer for me. Mom never really put digital devices in my hands. Rather, she surrounded me in a creative environment. Therefore, when I first had a chance to use a computer, it was just one more thing for homework. Mom did have a computer for her work, but I think she mostly used it at night.

“What kind of dirty stuff?” My male mind was eager for this information.

“Naked people mostly.” Sam was a bit unimpressed. “Most of it is women and I already know what they look like. I can just go to the gym with mom if I want to see that.” We were skirting close to what happened between us the other day. The closest she came to acknowledging it was her next remark. “I guess there are other ways to see the other thing. Anyways, are you going to spy on them?”

“On who?” My mind was flooded with the idea of all these naked women on the computer.

“Your mom and Eric? Duh,” she said.

“I don’t know. So all these women on the internet-” I began, but Sam cut me off.

“Aren’t worth it.” Her rejection was off-putting because of how matter of fact it was. “Besides, my parents say that any of those things will have viruses that will destroy your computer. And it’s supposed to be really embarrassing to get it fixed.”

I fantasized mom trying to use her computer with a screen that just said, Henry is a pervert and broke your computer. Shaking my head, I figured it was not worth the trouble.

“So what are you going to wear to the play? I think you should match your mom.” Sam’s shifting of topics was dizzying.

“But I don’t have anything that looks like her dress,” I pointed out.

“No, of course not. You’re not copying her. That would be terrible. You need to match with her.” She gestured to her own outfit. Today she had on a white and yellow striped shirt and powder blue shorts. “Like my clothes go together. They don’t look the same but they look good together.”

“Well, I was going to wear a floral dress,” I offered.

Sam shook her head. “No, I think that might wash both of you out. I know, you said she had a lot of black in her outfit?”

“Yeah?” I was unsure where she was going with this train of thought.

“Okay, then you have that black dress. Just add pink accessories like that ribbon you wore. And did we get you a pink belt and purse?”

I thought about it. “I think so.”

“Good. Use those accessories.” She pursed her lips in concentration. “Maybe pink socks and Mary Janes?”

“Okay? But why pink?” I watched as Sam paced in front of me.

“What?” Sam didn’t fully hear my question since she was so deep in concentration.

“Why pink?” I repeated.

“Oh, your earrings.” She pointed to my head. “I figured you can’t really take them out any time soon so you kind of need something that goes with them.”

I had forgotten about my jewelry. It was the one aspect of my wardrobe we had skipped over. “They’re that important?” I marveled at the notion.

“Of course not silly. Most of the time you just change your earrings out for the right occasion.” She pointed to her own dangling yellow heart earrings. “But you don’t really have much of an option. Besides, it’s as good of a thing to build an outfit around as anything.” Truly I had much to learn.

The weekend approached rapidly. I had double-checked and triple-checked that I had everything I needed for meeting Eric as Lilly. I did decide on one change, I was going with pink tights instead of socks. Even though the weather was getting warmer, mom informed me that some theaters can get rather cold. Besides it looked a bit better with the dress.

I let Sam know about the change on Friday. She was a bit skeptical, but she shrugged when I told her my reasons. “If you’re too hot, you’ll be the one dealing with it.”

The only other notable thing that happened was Ms. Krane noticing my earrings. It happened while she was handing back tests from earlier in the week. She had given the class a writing assignment, which let her roam around the room sharing a few words with each student while she delivered the tests.

“Those are cute,” she began. I looked up at her quizzically. “Oh, it’s you Henry?” Her face was a jumble of reactions. She couldn’t help but look at my ears while trying not to be judgmental. The result was a wide-eyed teacher with a flapping mouth. She reminded me of a goldfish.

Putting her out of her misery, I nodded and smiled. “Thanks Ms. Krane.” Then I returned to my writing assignment. For the rest of the day, I kept catching her staring in my direction. It took most of the day for her to react normally.

As I left to get into the car with mom, Sam made me promise to tell her everything that happened. I agreed and teased her by saying, “I’ll report everything Henry finds interesting.”

“You’re terrible!” she cried.

Time seemed to drag by once we got home. I did all my homework, embroidered more on the Durby costume, ate dinner, watched a movie, and it still wasn’t time for bed. So I decided to lay out my clothes for tomorrow and arranged them nice and neat. Once that was done I finally gave up and just told mom I was going to bed early

The following day was different, unlike the previous day time would not slow down. By the time mom and I were done getting ready, the doorbell rang. I went to answer it.

“Oh, hello,” Eric greeted me. This time he appeared much more put together. He wore a polo shirt with slacks and dress shoes. Even his hair was less wild. As I let him in he asked, “I didn’t realize Henry invited a friend along. You look nice by the way.”

“Thank you… sir.” I was not entirely sure how to address him. This was doubly awkward since he didn’t recognize me.

It was fortunate that mom entered the room at that moment, fixing an earring in place. She gave a chaste kiss to Eric. “Good, you met Lilly already.”

“Yes, I was just telling her I didn’t expect a friend to come along.” Eric gestured in my direction. It took a moment, and then he did a double take. “Wait. You’re Lilly?”

I nodded, clasping my hands in front of me and looked down. I don’t think I could handle his rejection, if it came. I had so much fun with him as Henry that I really sought his approval on a subconscious level.

“Wow, uh you look… I mean, you both look amazing.” He was running his hand through his hair. It might have been a nervous reaction.

I giggled. When he gave me an inquiring look, I explained, “I can see why your hair usually looks messy.”

“Why it looks-?” he trailed off, realizing where his hand was. Then he laughed, “I guess I do that a lot.”

Mom had been standing silent, biting her lower lip, not sure how to respond. I’m pretty sure if things went south, she was prepared to protect me. Or at the very least smooth things over. Seeing our exchange, she breathed a sigh of relief. “So, are you two ready to go see the play?”

“Sure,” blurted Eric.

“Let me just lock up.” Mom dug her keys out of her purse while I put mine over one shoulder.

Seeing we needed to exit, Eric put his arm out toward me. “My lady. Shall I be your escort?”

With only a slight hesitation, I reached out and took his arm, letting him lead me out the door. Turns out the shoes, I was wearing did have a small heel I hadn’t paid too close attention to in the store. So I was grateful for having the additional support while I got used to the balance.

By the time we made it to the car, mom had rejoined us and started talking to Eric. “You got the tickets?”

“Right here.” He patted one of his pant pockets.

It was a good thing mom had reached us since I noticed she got in the car different than usual. Copying her actions, I realized that it was so that the dress would not ride up.

“And you made it here early. That means we can find a good parking space.” Mom was sitting in the front passenger seat. She was using the car’s mirror in the visor to check her lipstick one last time.

One reason we took as long as we did was because mom went over a lot more makeup tips with me. For that reason, I had on foundation, blush, a bit of eye shadow, and lipstick. She even painted my fingernails for the occasion. It kept shocking me to look down and see pink nails. I periodically admired them. It was in the middle of this very act when the car came to a stop.

“We have arrived,” Eric announced.

Peering outside the window, I was stunned to be lost. This was a part of the city I wasn’t familiar with and I had been so absorbed in my own musings that I had not paid any attention to the direction we took.

Stepping out of the car, it felt as though more people were watching me. In all fairness, I was dressed up more than usual, which gave others a reason to stare. The glances I did catch all were accompanied by grins. One elderly couple in particular was enamored with me.

“Look Arthur. Doesn’t she look just like our Veronica when she was that age?” The old woman was pointing at me. I blushed and looked away.

“And she’s shy like Veronica too,” the old man pointed out.

“Lilly, we’re heading in,” mom called over one shoulder. 

I walked over to Eric’s other arm. Looking up, I asked with a raised eyebrow if it was all right to take his arm again. Seeing my expression, he obliged and offered his arm again. With mom on one side and me on the other, we reached the front of the theater.

A middle-aged man took the tickets Eric proffered. While checking them and punching each on one corner, he remarked, “There’s nothing quite like having two attractive ladies hanging all over you.”

Eric chortled, “No sir, I do not have any complaints.”

“Enjoy the show. And if the young miss would like a souvenir, they have some stuffed animals behind the concessions.” The man gave me a wink. My curiosity was piqued, so I looked around for what the man was talking about. “See, she’s all ready to pick one out.”

Since we were early, there was time to browse. I practically gasped when I saw the white rabbit plush. He had on a waist coat and a pocket watch. When the lady handed it over so I could get a closer look, I was able to feel how soft it was. I immediately crushed it to me, burying my face in its fur.

“I guess we’re getting one of those,” Eric observed.

“Are you sure?” mom asked.

“It’s only fair. Remember all the books I got Henry?” Eric paid the lady after picking out some snacks for the show. It was probably for the best, since I got a bit of makeup on the rabbit’s head.

As we entered the house to find our seats, an usher handed us programs. They were glossy and full of colorful characters. As we took our seats, I placed the rabbit in my lap and we both poured over the program. I felt the magic of the place and whispered, “Look Mr. Rabbit, that’s you.” It was an actor dressed like the white rabbit that Alice chased into Wonderland.

“She’s adorable,” an older woman told my mom. She was in the row behind us and had been watching my actions.

“Thank you.” Mom patted my head. “She’s my little angel.”

Before I could reply, the stage manager came out to make some announcements. They seemed to go on for quite some time. I got a little bored and began dancing the rabbit in my lap. Out of the corner of his eye, the stage manager saw this and smirked. “As I can see, the white rabbit is telling me I’m late.” He made a grand gesture at me. The audience that could see laughed and applauded lightly. “Then without further ado, may I be the first to welcome you to Wonderland!” With that, the lights went out and when they came on again, we saw Alice.

Falling asleep, she was transported to the most incredible of adventures. The costumes were fantastic. The puppets made me believe that caterpillars could talk. And there were so many things to look at on stage that I literally fell in love.

The Queen of Hearts was even played by a man. On one hand, he was funny, but on the other he was regal and majestic, if not crazy. We all shuddered when the queen boomed, “Off with her head!”

By the time the play had ended, I was both worn out and knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to create costumes for the theater. It was so much like my hobby with the G.I. Joes that it was a like waking from a dream.

At dinner, Eric even asked me what I wanted to do for a living. I don’t think he was expecting me to have an answer. “I want to design costumes for the theater,” I replied while picking at a plate of pasta.

He was about to respond automatically, then paused, nodded to himself and admitted, “Yeah, I can see that. I’ve seen some of your work. You’ve got the talent for it.”

I wanted to create magic just like my rabbit’s waistcoat. With a start, I remembered I never properly thanked Eric for buying it for me. “Um, Mr. Eric. I never said thank you for getting me the rabbit.”

His face completely softened and filled with a toothy smile. “You’re very welcome Ms. Lilly. And you can just call me Eric if you like.”

Glancing at mom, she was struggling to hold back tears of joy. I think she was just overwhelmed that Eric wasn’t treating me bad. She snuggled closer to him when we finished eating.

On the ride home, I kept yawning and was only dimly aware that I was dozing. It was all like a dream when Eric had to help me to get into the house. I fussed a bit when my rabbit almost got left in the car.

As we stepped inside, mom took me from Eric. “Let me put her to bed then we can talk more.” Laying me down on the bed, I was like a loose rag doll as she stripped me down to my panties. For a brief second, she considered my male pajamas but decided a night gown was just a simpler outfit to get me into. She was thoughtful enough to remove my wig.

She then left the room and returned shortly with some cleansers. She carefully removed all the makeup from my face, which did make me sputter. “Well, that’s what you get for being a lazy layabout,” she scolded, playing with one sponge across my nose.

I grumbled still not having the energy to fight. As I curled up in bed, she tucked me under the covers and I was out like a light. At least, I was asleep for a while.


	19. Intertwined

I was eating pink cupcakes in a restaurant, but kept getting distracted by a woman at the other end of the place. Each time she talked, she’d over pronounce a word, which sounded like a groan or moan. I tried to focus on the two cupcakes in front of me. Each was piled high with frosting and topped with a cherry. However, the lady only got louder.

I had finally had enough of her honking. Getting up from my chair, I took a step only to trip and fall flat on my face. That’s when I awoke with a start. The odd thing was that I could still hear that sound.

In a daze, I extricated myself from the bed and discovered I wore my girl’s night gown and panties. Not dwelling on this, I crept out to the hallway where the sound got louder. I was halfway to my mom’s room when it registered why the sound was a familiar one. It was similar to how she sounded when pleasuring herself.

The instantaneous erection I had was painful. I really didn’t want to see what she was doing, but my lower head was doing all the thinking. It even rationalized by pointing out that the sound was a bit different. Or maybe I just imagined it made that much sense.

Controlled by my glands, I ventured closer. Sure enough there was a difference in how things sounded. Girding myself, I looked inside the room. It took a moment to make sense of what I was seeing.

For starters there were too many legs on this end of the bed. Besides, two of the legs on the outside were facing the wrong way. There was clearly a back and buttocks moving in a rhythmic pattern. There was also an odd dusting of hair. Then it clicked, I was looking at Eric.

That meant the legs to either side… just then, those legs tensed and I heard the sound again. Soft murmuring words were shared and Eric moved. That revealed mom with legs spread wide and a gaping wet sex. Sweat glistened down her breasts and stomach. She got up, which made me stiffen in fright, but she was just changing positions.

Eric was now lying on the bed and I could see his massive dick. It too glistened with a liquid sheen. Framing his shaft was a thick thatch of dark hair which traveled down to his balls.

As I watched, mom cupped his testicles like precious treasures. Meanwhile her mouth came down and engulfed his cock. Eric rolled his eyes back and groaned as he was sucked.

Soon the hand cupping his balls released them and worked its way up to his shaft. Now both her hand and my mom’s mouth were busy stroking that male flesh. 

With a wet pop, she pulled the cock from her mouth and studied his face. In a husky voice she asked, “You ready for me to ride this dirty cock?”

“Please.” Eric’s response was half agreement and half plea.

I had never heard my mom talk that way. And now she was throwing a leg over Eric’s body. Keeping one hand on his stiff member, she guided it into herself. As her ass came down, fully blocking the sight of his member, she moaned, “Oh fuck Eric! You’re so big!”

By now tears were distorting my vision and my own prick felt like it had its own heartbeat. It pulsed in time with each slap of skin. I wiped my eyes with an arm, but I could sense I might start sobbing. I retreated back into my room and into bed.

There I was finally able to cry. I’m not entirely sure why I was breaking down this way. Perhaps it was the loss of more of my innocence. It could also have been from the pain from my engorged penis. Or it was just that I didn’t seem to be in control of anything. All these emotions were jumbled up and twisted inside of me.

I attempted to avoid touching myself down there, but then recalled the mess I had made in the middle of the night when I had had no say in the matter. Therefore, I pondered what to do. I decided since Eric and mom were naked that would be one way not to ruin clothes. Then I thought it might be a good idea to have something on hand to clean up the mess when it happened. It was amazing how easily my own body made decisions for me.

I decided toilet paper would do the trick. Sneaking back out into the hallway, I ducked into the bathroom. My dick bobbed in the air and seemed to react when I could hear mom and Eric more clearly. Grabbing the paper was a nerve wracking experience. At one point, the noises stopped from mom’s room.

How could I explain why I was completely naked in the bathroom taking toilet paper with no lights on? Then to my great relief, the noise resumed. I was sorely tempted to see what had changed, but I was taking enough risks.

Back in bed I held the toilet paper over the tip of my penis and grabbed it like a snake trainer I’d seen on a nature channel. The shaft was hot to the touch and pulsed, but didn’t make a mess.

So I took the opportunity to explore it. I was surprised to find veins along its length. It was not nearly the size of Eric’s, but that was understandable given the fact he was a man.

Remembering mom’s stroking of Eric’s dick, I tried that. It did feel okay, but still no explosion. So I thought more about what they were doing in the other room and immediately felt the tension rise. But I recoiled from the thought. I didn’t want to think of mom that way.

Using my imagination, I pictured a few candidates. Sam’s mom was out for the same reason why I didn’t want to think of my own mother. I might have thought of Sam but, up to this point, I had only seen a grown woman naked. That had then brought to mind Ms. Krane, my teacher.

Instead of her commenting how cute my earrings were, she now said in my head, “You want to fuck me with your dirty cock, Henry?”

I whimpered a very quiet, “Yes.”

The illusory Ms. Krane was now mounting me. Once she was fully impaled, she moaned, “Oh fuck, you’re so big Henry!” And that did it.

Jet after jet of hot cum spilled forth. The spasms were intense, but just a bit more bearable than the time before. It still felt like it took forever to finish. By the time it did, I was gasping for air.

Staggering to my feet I threw the wad of bath tissues into my waste basket. I could still hear the adults pounding away. I had no idea how they could last that long.

Rummaging around in the dark, I located my night gown and panties and slipped them back on. I was afraid that with the sounds I would have a hell of a time trying to get to sleep. But I guess my own activities took more out of me than I had realized because I couldn’t recall hearing them finish.

When I next opened my eyes sunlight was filtering through the blinds on my window. I could also hear two distinct people talking in the house. Perhaps Eric stayed the whole night? Getting out of bed, I assessed my options. I was already wearing Lilly’s pajamas and I was ravenous. So I put on the wig and went out to breakfast.

Sure enough, mom and Eric were in the kitchen sharing a kiss. Spotting me, they brought it to an end. “Hey there Ms. Lilly. I hope you slept well?” Eric was relaxed and full of smiles.

I did consider giving a grumpy response, but I couldn’t bring myself to bring the mood down. “I did, thanks.” I was not sure how to continue this conversation. Fortunately mom stepped in.

“It was late last night. So Eric stayed over.” She then gave him a look full of meaning that made them both go a little red in the face.

I didn’t want to form a tent in my panties so asked, “Can we have pancakes, please.”

“Sure sweetie.” Mom hunted down the things she needed. “Eric? Do you want some?”

He took a sip of his coffee. “Sounds wonderful. Do you need any help?” He partially turned in his chair to address her.

“No, you still don’t know where things are.” She popped her head out from behind a cabinet door where we kept the pancake mix. “Lilly honey, can you get the plates and silverware?”

“Okay.” I went to the china hutch to pull things out.

“Now that I can help with.” Eric appeared to loom over me. He reached for the plates, which I handed over. I then retrieved the knives and forks and by then he had spotted the cups. “Hey Lil, do you want some juice or milk?”

It took a moment to understand that I was the person he was talking to. I was pretty good at recognizing Lilly, but this was a new nickname. “Um, juice please. I think we have orange?”

Hearing the name, mom called over, “Hey I like that. Little Lil!”

“I’m not little,” I groused.

“Sor-ry,” mom intoned. “Perhaps, you prefer your majesty?” 

From the fridge Eric piped in, “Does her majesty like pulp or no pulp?”

“No pulp please.” I soon regretted answering so quickly. The rest of breakfast was then filled with your majesty this and, of course, your majesty that. After fighting it for about a minute, I decided to just play along.

I never thought of my family as being broken or missing anything. But having Eric chatting and laughing with us really did feel like a missing piece was slotting into place.

Eric had to run home and get some new clothes since all he had was what he wore the day before. This gave mom and I time enough to shower and get presentable. When he returned, we all went to the park and had a picnic.

While there, I was invited to play with a couple of girls. Nikki and Lane were pretending to be magical princesses going around and saving the kingdom. I was named the princess of flowers since my name was Lilly and that was a flower. Lane was the boss and explained the logic of this in a single breath.

It worked out in my favor since I got to have a wand to play with. All I needed was to pick a flower and I was in business.

The game got spoiled when a couple of boys began to chase us. None of us cared too much for how they played so we declared that the kingdom was safe enough, even though it may have a couple of ogres. The girls giggled when I added that fact in. Finally, we headed off to our respective families to eat.

With a full stomach, I walked over to the public restrooms. “Lilly!” Mom called.

I turned to see what she wanted. “What?” I called back.

“That’s the boy’s room!” She pointed.

Following her finger, I saw the distinctive triangle sign. Without thinking, I had nearly walked right in. I made a brisk beeline for the other side and almost collided with Nikki.

“Hey Lilly? Going to the bathroom?” She was heading towards it as well.

“Yeah, I think I drank too much lemonade.” I was feeling the pee dance coming on.

“Me too.” Together, we entered the building.

It was odd peeing next to someone I knew. Plus we kept up a conversation. Turned out, she was visiting her grandmother this weekend and they were getting set to leave soon. Lane was a cousin that lived in town, but not that close. Her grandmother’s house was in the neighborhood, which is why they chose this park.

I told her about my mom and her boyfriend and how they were taking me out for a picnic. I even mentioned the play we saw yesterday.

“Your mom’s boyfriend?” By this time we had finished in our stalls and were washing our hands. “What about your dad?”

“He died.” When I saw the horror on her face, I added, “It happened a long time ago when I was young. I don’t really remember him.”

“Oh, that’s so sad.” She then gave me a hug. This was definitely different than when Sam hugged me. This had a more sisterly quality to it.

As we left the bathroom, I waved goodbye. “Have a safe trip, Nikki.”

She returned the wave. “Thanks. Hope we meet again.”

By the time I returned to mom and Eric, I was on the receiving end of a questioning smile from mom. “Did you make more friends, Lil?”

I made a dramatic sigh. “Yes and no. Nikki is from out of town visiting her grandma. And I’m pretty sure Lane lives on the other end of town.”

“Aw, I’m sorry hun. Maybe we can bring Sam with us next time.” She was starting to pack things up.

“Yeah, that would be nice. I think she’d get along with those girls too.” I helped by throwing away our trash.

“Sorry those boys cut your play time short,” Eric remarked. “If I had known you wouldn’t see those girls again, I’d have stepped in.”

I shrugged. “It’s all right. That’s just how boys are.”

Mom nodded, “Boy, that’s the truth.”

“Hey! Don’t gang up on the odd man out here,” Eric protested. “I’m a perfect gentleman.”

“Sure you are,” mom mocked.

“That’s it!” Eric cried. “You’ve awakened my baser instincts. Heather and Lilly Miller, prepare to be tickled!” With a lunge, he leapt forward. Squealing, mom and I ran for it.

Being smaller, I was easier to catch and squirmed and writhed under Eric the Tickler. Mom saved me by calling out, “Hey buster! Pick on someone your own size!” And Eric was off.

By the time I regained my breath, Eric had caught mom. He had started to tickle her when she turned the tables and floored him with a deep kiss. He lost all interest in tickling then and returned her passion with his own. That’s when mom got sneaky and proceeded to tickle him.

It was shocking to see just how ticklish Eric was. He wriggled free and danced just out of mom’s reach.

“Lilly!” she gasped, “Help me get him!” With that, I rushed his legs and held fast.

“No fair!” he cried as mom joined us. After a bit more chasing each other around, we eventually grew tired and cleaned up our area.

Leaving the park, we had strained muscles, full tummies, and a few grass stains that I hoped could come out. When I saw Sam again, I would have a ton to talk about. Eric had to leave soon after we got back home. He mentioned something about an early meeting the next day.

Before going ,he spoke to me. “I just want to say Lilly, you are a beautiful girl who is polite, charming, and let’s not forget royal.”

Adults speaking directly at me was still unnerving. I did manage to mumble, “Thanks Eric.”

He then gave a mischievous grin. “You are much more refined than that brother of yours. He’s virtually a barbarian.”

My mouth dropped open in a stunned daze. There weren’t any words.

Then he winked, “But man he’s cool. He’s my type of guy.” Standing he gave mom one last kiss, then bowed to me and walked out the door.

Standing at the window, mom watched him drive away. I walked over and joined her. She put a hand on my shoulder and leaned me against her. “That man is something else,” she said.

“I like him,” I added.

“Me too, baby. Me too.” She looked down running a hand over my tresses. “So, I’ve been thinking. If you end the school year with good grades, you can spend the night over at Sam’s for her birthday.”

I peered up at her. “Really?”

“Yeah, seeing you play with those girls today… I think you’re good for both you and Henry.” She kissed the top of my head.

I know I was a very introverted child as Henry. I’d never had any inclination to join other children in the park. I’d say it was Sam’s influence on me, but she wasn’t there. Thinking back on my experiences as Lilly, it just seemed people enjoyed talking and interacting with her. Then I furrowed my brow. “But what about my hair? I can’t sleep in this wig?”

Mom untangled a finger from the long curl she was playing with and poked me in the nose. “That might be fixable. But you’ll have to wait until you’re out of school.” And no matter how much I begged, she wouldn’t give me a hint as to what she had in mind.


	20. It’s Her Birthday

The next few weeks were a bit of a blur. Mom started washing my hair with all sorts of concoctions. Some involved onion juice, while others had eggs and oils. The weird thing was that my hair did seem to grow a lot. The problem was, the wig I wore had fairly long hair.

I also went several more times to Dr. Sanchez. I even went as Lilly a couple of times. I think she’d use the term or phrase of gender fluid on several occasions, but she assured mom that things were okay. She made a big point in making sure I could recall things no matter how I was dressed.

The only time Dr. Sanchez seemed concerned was when she said to ask her anything about being a girl while I was dressed as Lilly. The only thing I could think of was when could I expect breasts? She frowned at that question, but then explained the process of how breasts grew.

Otherwise, I got Durby done in time for Sam as a birthday present. I also finished the two Victorion costumes for Eric and me. He practically flipped out when I presented it to him.

“You even got the hidden pocket!” He was turning it over and over.

“Yeah, I had to keep double checking the story that costume appeared in. I even painted the boots.” I pointed to my own Victorion. Most of the time I didn’t bother with painting, so I was very proud of it.

“I know! You got his crest perfectly.” He then placed the figure in the iconic pose. “This is absolutely amazing! Thanks Henry.” And that’s when he hugged me for the first time. I can’t say I had a lot of male influence in my life, but I had been sure that guys never hugged. Turns out, I was wrong.

Sam refused to show me more of Copy. She said I’d have to wait until her birthday. I made sure to complain about this every time we spoke.

I had also gotten a little better at masturbating. Problem was, I now kept getting a hard on when Ms. Krane drew near. I don’t think I was infatuated with her; rather she was a safe woman for me to think about. When I mentioned this to Sam, she thought it would be easier to think of movie stars.

Speaking of which, I did tell her everything. I think she was just as much of a pervert as I was, which made it easier to talk to her. Of course, she nearly died laughing when I mentioned sneaking completely naked into the bathroom while the adults were having sex.

By the time school ended, my hair brushed my shoulders. Not sure what mom was using, but it seemed my head always smelt off. However, it also appeared to be working to grow my hair, just not to the length those who knew Lilly were accustomed to. Also, I now had to pin my hair up when putting on the wig.

When we got home on the last day of school, mom had a strange set up. There were gloves and a shower cap, a box of something, and a bag of who knows what.

“What’s this?” I asked.

Mom set her purse down. “Well, the last time you went to Dr. Sanchez, she thought I had a good idea.”

I picked up the box. The label said it was hair dye. “This color looks familiar.” I pointed to the small swatch on the box.

“It should. It’s Lilly’s hair color. Or as close to it as I could get.” She took the box from me and turned me to face her. “I thought since you did so well in school that I could reward you by letting you sleep over at Sam’s place.” 

Nodding, I was wondering where this was going. “And?”

“And… when I told the doctor, she thought it might be worth having you immerse yourself as Lilly for a while.” She brushed some loose strands back from my eyes.

“So we’re dying my hair?” I was trying to follow the plan.

“Yes, and hair extensions.” She reached over and opened the bag to show what looked to be bundles of hair. “We will fasten these in place, and then dye it all so everything blends perfectly.”

I could imagine that would give me hair that looked a lot like Lilly’s. “And so…?”

“So, you’ll be able to sleep with long hair. And be Lilly for most of the summer.” Her mouth verged on a smile, but uncertainty clouded her mouth.

The thought of being Lilly for such a long period of time was novel. It was true, I kind of thought of dressing like a girl as putting on a costume for a short time. Being faced with a non-stop experience was scary to say the least. But I felt disingenuous rejecting this idea out of hand. So, I gave my mom a huge hug and said into her shoulder, “Thank you.”

This was the resolve she needed from me. What followed was a lot of work. From the extensions to the dying process, we were consulting every resource we had. From the instructions that came with the product to tutorials mom pulled up online, we followed every tiny iota of advice no matter how silly it seemed. We didn’t get a break until my hair was up in the cap.

“This seems heavy.” I lightly touched the outside of the cap while mom cleaned the sink.

“Well, I don’t think you’ve ever had wet hair before,” she pointed out. Then corrected, “Long wet hair that is.”

After the timer went off, more rinsing occurred, and I finally got a brush to my tresses. It was safe to say we were beat. However, I had to admit it was worth the effort. Turning my head from side to side, I enjoyed how the locks cascaded over my shoulders.

“It feels different,” I noticed. “It’s like a part of me.”

Mom chuckled, “Well, a lot of it is you. The false hair doesn’t even start until about here.” She tapped a part of my head.

I could find the clips of the extensions if I really searched, but for the most part they didn’t bother me. I couldn’t wait to surprise Sam. With some last minute pointers, mom prepared me for bed. And unlike my awful outcome with the wig, I got a good night’s sleep.

Standing outside Sam’s front door, mom and I waited. I was carrying my overnight bag under one arm and her birthday present under the other. When Mrs. Morgan opened the door, she sensed something was different.

“Well, if it isn’t the lovely Miller ladies. Lilly? Is there something different about your hair?” Her tone expressed honest curiosity.

“Yes Mrs. Morgan. Do you like it?” I only had mom’s opinion to go on besides my own. That didn’t seem like a lot, but if Mrs. Morgan said it was good then I had nothing to worry about. From what Sam mentioned, her job involved approving all the ads and pictures used for advertising their clothing. That involved making sure the models looked appropriate.

She put a finger over her lips and tapped. “I think this style is more you. Not that you ever looked bad.” She was quick to assure. “It’s just your previous style looked like you were trying to imitate a movie star. This is much more wholesome.” Her brow scrunched up for a moment. “It’s too bad we don’t make clothing for juniors, you’d make an excellent model.”

I stared wide-eyed. That was probably the most intense compliment I had been on the receiving end of. “Thanks.” I managed to utter with as much reverence as I could muster.

Mom’s hand wiped hair from one side of my face. Her words were full of pride. “I kept telling her that it looked good, but she was so nervous about what Sam would say.”

“Say about what?” Sam popped her head around the corner. “Hey Lilly!” She joined her mom then cocked her head to one side. “There’s something different…”

I decided to play with her just a bit. Pulling my hair away from my ears I showed off the dangling earrings I wore. “Is it the new earrings?”

Sam’s concentration was interrupted. Focusing on my earrings, she lit up. “Oh! Those are cute!”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t keep our guests standing in the doorway?” Sam’s mom said to no one in particular.

“I’d love to stay, but I have a date.” Mom planned to go back home and prepare for her evening with Eric. Leaning over, she kissed me on the top of my head. “Be good.” Peering up at Sam, she added to her. “And happy birthday Sam!”

“Thanks Ms. Miller! Come on Lilly, let’s get you settled in.” She took my overnight bag from me.

“Oh, I can take that for you dear.” Mrs. Morgan reached for Sam’s gift. After handing it over, I turned to mom before she left.

“Bye mom! Say hi to Eric for me.” Then I ran to catch up with Sam.

Entering her room, she placed my bag at the end of her bed. “You’ll be sleeping in my room.” She then rummaged in a drawer and pulled out a cap. “I figure you can wear this instead of your…” That’s about when it dawned on her that my hair had changed. “Your hair! It’s different!”

“Yep! Most of its mine too.” I gave a small twirl.

Putting her hands on her hips, she remarked, “I thought your hair was getting shaggy.” Then she narrowed her eyes. “But it was only down to about your shoulders.”

I ran my finger through the rich strands of hair. “Mom calls them extensions.”

“Ah! That makes sense.” She got close and stroked my hair as well. This left us face to face and extremely close. We began leaning in for a kiss when her dad’s voice broke the silence.

“Princess Samantha! Your feast awaits!” 

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes. “Ugh!” I giggled. Darting in, I planted a peck on her nose, then ran out of the room to find her dad. “Hey!” Sam cried, then I could hear footsteps right behind me.

We both reached the dining room with Sam wrapping her arms around me. I squealed, trying to get away.

“Samantha!” her father exclaimed, “Why are you assaulting the lady Lilly?”

Stamping one foot, Sam accused, “She, she, tweaked my nose!” I thought this was a pretty good save.

Addressing me, he then asked, “Is this true?”

Lowering my eyes, I thought fast. I answered, “I did it only because she hadn’t noticed my new hair style.”

“My apologies!” boomed Mr. Morgan. “I too am at fault for such a slight. You are quite fetching with your crimson locks.”

“Thank you.” I was unsure what else to respond with so gave a curtsey.

Laughing, her father clapped with great enthusiasm. “Excellent! See Samantha, my princess, I’ve told you many a time that you needed a friend of such refinement.”

“You mean a girl,” Sam muttered.

“Indeed! One of the fairer sex is a fantastic companion.” His face turned to a scowl. “Unlike those boys you kept inviting.”

“You scared them off on purpose!” she stated.

“Of course!” A wide grin filled his face. “For only the worthy shall pass the test of the daddy ogre!”

“Whatever.” Again she rolled her eyes. Then taking me by my arm, she led me to sit next to her. “At least Lilly can put up with you.”

Dinner was uneventful. We had Sam’s favorite food, which turned out to be Mexican. Then we had cake, which was done to look like one of Sam’s sketch books. There was even a pencil made of frosting. On the pad was a rough sketch of Durby. Sam and I were in awe. She forced her parents to take a dozen pictures of the cake before it even got candles placed on it.

When it came to gifts, Sam received a mountain of art supplies. There was even a small mannequin that I found interesting. Sam explained that it was used to help artists since it could be posed in pretty much any position. For me, it was about the right size for designing small costumes.

When it got to my gift, a hush fell over the room. Sam pulled out the Durby doll from the many layers of tissue paper mom and I used. A gasp came from Mrs. Morgan while her dad whispered, “Exquisite.”

Her parents were even more surprised to find out that I not only designed the costume from Sam’s sketches, but also sewed nearly every part of it. Her parents shared a look and Mrs. Morgan patted her husband’s shoulder saying, “We’ll talk about it later. But yes, she has talent.” 

My ears perked up at this comment. I guess they were impressed with my skill? I would have asked but I wasn’t sure how to ask.

Sam then opened gifts from extended relatives. Most were either small pieces of jewelry or clothing. There was one large box that Sam seemed to be avoiding. When it was the last one left I asked, “Are you saving that for last for some reason?”

Sam was hesitant, “Sort of. That’s from my grandma on my mom’s side. Her gifts are-” She looked to her mom for help.

“Mom’s gifts are unique.” Mrs. Morgan was diplomatic in her response, but she shared her daughter’s trepidation.

Sighing Sam muttered, “Let’s get this over with.” Tearing into the box she soon revealed two fairly large and very floral filled hats. “They’re hats,” Sam said with a flat note.

“They’re colorful?” Mr. Morgan pointed out.

Picking one up, I placed it on my head, then in my best British accent I announced, “Samantha darling. Would you care for a spot of tea?”

Laughing, she put the other on her head and replied, “Lilly dear, I believe that would be delightful. Mother? Could you put on a spot of tea?”

I was not prepared when her mom snorted and spat the drink out she was attempting to sip. She then proceeded to choke. It took a moment along with pats from Sam’s dad to get her mom back together. For the rest of the evening, Sam and I went around the house like two floral parade floats pretending to be little old British ladies.

We watched a movie while wearing them. We even made her dad act like a tour guide as he made fake facts up about the things in their house. We would then chatter on that we were on holiday and it was grand to see the couch made by Australian leprechauns and a table made from a thousand year-old cheese.

When it got late, we were left to our own devices and Sam finally showed me the next part of the Copy comic series. I were sprawled out on her bed with the hats left forgotten off to one side, like small tipped over parade floats. Sam sat on the floor amidst her gifts. With an eagerness, I flipped to the pages I hadn’t seen before.

A text box told me it was the next morning from Hendrix’s first change. He was standing in front of the mirror as Jax. He was sizing himself up. “Okay, you’re now staying as Jax. You just need to reach down and-”

The scene cut to a hand grabbing a dick. The penis looked very familiar. From off scene a text bubble said, “Damn it!”

A narration box explained that he had been trying all morning to touch his female parts, but, as he attempted to, he got aroused and thought about masturbating with his own genitals. This was why he was having issues.

“Guess, I should just take pictures.” Hendrix was pulling out a cell phone when a text bubble came from his bedroom door.

“Hendrix! Breakfast is ready!” Hendrix dropped his phone.

Next scene had Hendrix in his male form coming out of his room. He met his mom at the dining room and ate with her. She handed him a half full glass of orange juice when he was cleaning up his dishes.

“Can you drink the rest? I hate to throw it out,” she asked.

“Sure mom.” He was loading the dishes in the dishwasher and drinking down the glass. Next panel had his mom in his clothing finishing the glass.

“What in the-” his hand cupped one of the breasts. He had transformed again.

“Is everything all right in there?” His mom’s text bubble came from off the panel.

He replied, “Yeah.” He was now back in his normal form. He looked closer at the glass and saw lip stains on the rim.

The narration box returned. It stated that Hendrix realized that he may need other people’s DNA to transform into them.

Hendrix was now outside walking in a park talking to himself. “I got to tell someone about this.” He was then knocking on a door. When the door opened, Jax stood on the other side.

“Hendrix? I wasn’t expecting you.” She looked a bit flirtatious.

“I’ve got to show you something. Can I come in?” Hendrix looked frantic.

“Sure.” Jax now was concerned.

In Jax’s room, Hendrix began pulling off his clothes.

“Hendrix!” Jax yelled. “I’m not that type of girl!” She covered her eyes.

“But aren’t you?” I could see what looked to be a bare shoulder and the side of Jax’s hair looking over at a Jax covering her face.

“What?” The real Jax was now pointing at a nude version of herself. And that’s when I saw it. It was a mere glimpse of female genitals. And I knew that Sam had modeled them after her own body. 

I gulped looking between the comic and Sam. “What?” she asked. Looking over my shoulder she sighed, “Pervert.”

I sniffed not daring to respond. After all, she was the one who wanted to see me and my privates first. I went back to reading.

In one shot, Hendrix changed to his mother, in another he was back to Jax. He then turned to himself and covered his crotch.

“You can change?” Jax was stunned.

“Yeah, I think it happens when I get someone else’s DNA, like when we kissed-”

She finished, “-you got my DNA. And your mom?”

“I finished a glass of orange juice for her this morning. I think it was on the rim of the glass,” he explained.

“Can you turn back into me?” she asked. When he did she moved close. “It’s so exact.” She reached out and it appeared as though she was touching her own face.

“It is I think. The weird thing is my crotch.” Hendrix blurted out without thinking.

“Oh?” Jax went to her knees to see. “Looks right to me. Is it because you are used to having something different here?” She reached up and touched his feminine mound.

With a moan, Hendrix leaned back his head. A gasp came from lower down. Jax was now holding Hendrix’s dick. In the final shot, it had a nude Jax with dick standing in front of a fully clothed Jax holding the aforementioned penis.

Closing the book, I leaned back. “Woah! That is all super realistic.” Understand that, up to this point, I hadn’t really been introduced to pornography, apart from Sam’s drawings. And since this was a mixture of that and a medium I loved, namely comics, it hit me where I lived.

“I wanted to do something different,” Sam said. “I thought doing something more adult might be good?”

“You’re not sure?” I rested my head on one hand as I watched her. I was lying on my stomach while she had been sitting on the floor organizing her new art supplies.

She bowed her head. “I don’t know. It makes me feel scared I guess. Like when I asked you to show me… you know?”

We were both silent, recalling the incident. I wanted to comfort her, but I had to admit I was feeling the same. So I said as much, “It makes me feel scared too.”

She studied my face, trying to search for something. Not finding it, she asked, “Do you think I should stop?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I held up the book. “I can only say I’d be sad if I never knew what came next.”

She pursed her lips at that then nodded slow and steady. “It is an interesting story isn’t it?”

I gave a vigorous nod. “Totally! Like is this all about sex? Or will it become a super hero story?”

Sam displayed a shy smile. “Who says it can’t be both?”

My eyes popped wide at that. “Really?”

“Guess you’re just going to have to wait and see.” She gave my nose a small tap.

“Does that mean you’ll continue creating it?” I rubbed my face where she touched it since it now tickled.

Taking a deep breath and blowing it out, she stayed quiet for a moment, then when I thought she wouldn’t say anything she answered, “I think so. At least for now.”

Just then her door opened. Mrs. Morgan’s head poked in. “Girls, time for bed.”

We each answered in unison. I said, “Yes, Mrs. Morgan.”

While Sam replied with, “Okay mom.”

I took my things to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get into my nightgown. This one was pink with smiley face clouds all over it. Padding bare foot back to her room, Sam had also changed into a white nightshirt with a Care Bear on the front. She had also cleaned up much of the mess we had made.

Passing me to go brush her own teeth she said, “Go ahead and get into bed if you’re ready. I’ll be in after brushing.”

Following her instructions, I climbed in bed. Her sheets were so soft and they smelled like her shampoo. I took a long whiff as I laid on my side waiting for her to return.

When she finally did, she made sure to leave on a small nightlight before climbing into bed. I used to climb into bed with mom when I was younger, but I hadn’t done that for years. So it was odd sleeping in the same bed with someone else. It was doubly strange since I really liked this person.

“Night Sam,” I whispered.

“Night Lilly,” she replied. The near dark enveloped us. Sensing the heat of her body, it felt like she was getting closer with every inhalation. My mind was fixated on this girl.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when her hand found mine and clasped it. I returned a squeeze of my own as we lay there. “Hey Sam, is it just me or does it feel like the room is getting smaller?”

“Kind of, yeah? It’s like you’re getting super close.” I could sense her turning on to her side to face me. “Why do you think that is?”

I could detect the scent of mint on her breath. “Maybe cause we’re not used to sleeping in a bed with other people,” I offered.

Sam didn’t acknowledge this. Instead a void filled the room, which only seemed to supercharge my blood. I felt the urge to move or scream. Then Sam’s whisper cut into that devastating stillness. “Hey Lilly? You know how I asked you to show it to me?”

There was only one it she could be referring to. As if in response, my cock throbbed in my panties. “Yeah.” I was hesitant to answer.

“Can-” she faltered. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “Can, I touch it?”


	21. Touched

I had trouble comprehending what she had asked. At first, I thought I misheard her. My head was dizzy. If I wasn’t already lying down I’d probably have fallen over. “You want to… touch it?”

Sam’s head moved on the pillow. Realizing I couldn’t see her nod, she said in a small unconfident whisper, “Yes?”

Gulping hard, I took a moment to collect myself. Finally I managed, “Let’s start slow.” Since I was on my right side facing her that meant my left hand was free. Under the sheets, I found her right hand and placed it on my hip.

There was an obvious tremble to her fingers as they rested against my gown. With a slight flex, she gripped my hip bone. When nothing else happened, I realized she was allowing me to dictate the pace at which we went.

Placing my sweaty palm on the back of her hand, I pushed it down along my thigh. Eventually we passed the hem of the gown and she came into contact with bare flesh. I let an involuntary hiss as if her touch stung.

She attempted to instinctively jerk her hand away. But I held it fast in place. A heart beat thud later and she too was again ready to wait in a passive state for my lead.

This time I raised her hand up my leg under my sleepwear. We needed to take another break when we reached my panty line. Having her so close sent a shiver across my body and an ache in my loins.

Gritting my teeth, I moved her once again, this time to the front of my panties. Now I was still a bit tucked since I hadn’t wanted to embarrass myself when she had gotten into bed, but now I encountered a whole new situation. My cock was straining against the gusset of my bikini briefs. Did I let her go and readjust or do I let her take an active role and release me?

I decided to keep the control. Letting go of her hand, I raised my own to the top hem of the panties and pulled them down. For her part, she let the silky material slide under her digits while she maintained position where I left her hand.

For a brief instant she was touching the stretched skin right above my penis. Then I shifted a leg open and her hand was filled with my length.

She let out a sharp intake of air as she came in contact with the most intimate part of me. By seeming reflex, her fingers wrapped themselves around my shaft. “It’s warm,” she commented. I was unable to answer her being overwhelmed with sensations. With tentative motions she proceeded to examine her prize. She was nearly to the tip, which was about to put me over the edge when her bedroom door opened.

“Girls? I just wanted to say goodnight.” Her dad loomed in the doorway. “I hope you had a fun birthday princess.”

There we were, Sam and I in bed with her hand on my dick. She stayed perfectly still trying not to draw any attention to what was going on under her covers. She croaked out a reply, “Yeah dad. Everything was great. I especially liked my last present.” With light from the hallway spilling into the room, I could see her give me a wink. I guessed I was her last present, which made my chest swell with pride.

“Your grandmother’s hats?” Confusion was writ plain in his question.

Startled by the observation, Sam had to think quick. “Yeah! Lilly showed me how fun they could be.”

The large man’s silhouette nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”

“But everything else was also super awesome,” she added in a hurry making sure not to hurt her father’s feelings on the gifts he gave. She also squeezed me playfully.

That had the unfortunate reaction of making me gasp. Turning toward me, Mr. Morgan asked, “Lilly? You okay?”

“Fine.” I pried Sam’s hand off. She pouted at this. “I just have a stitch in my side. That movie we watched really made me laugh.”

“Ah! Hope you can manage to get a good night sleep.” Sam’s hand was questing for me again. It took all my strength to not put up a big struggle.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine Mr. Morgan.” Taking a tactical approach, I rolled over putting more distance between Sam and my privates.

“Good. Well, you two sleep well. Try not to stay up too late telling stories.” He made a soft chortle.

“Dad.” Sam sounded exasperated. “We know better than to stay up all night.” She now had a firm grip on one of my buttocks, which she kneaded.

“Sure, sure, you two sleep well.” He stepped into the hall to close the door behind him.

“Night dad!” called Sam.

“Night Mr. Morgan!” I added.

When the room returned to that twilight haze created by the nightlight, Sam scooted close. By this time I was able to wriggle my panties back up and stuffed my shrinking member back into them. Sam, on the other hand, was ready to continue where we had left off.

“Lilly, he’s gone. Pull it out again,” she begged.

The fear of being discovered had put a big old bucket of ice water on my libido. “Maybe another time,” I differed.

“Come on!” She was now tugging at my undergarments.

“No Sam!” I hissed. “I don’t want to get caught.”

“But it’s my birthday,” she whined.

I might have been tired or just scared, but I spat back, “I’m not a toy Sam!”

Her efforts ceased. Without a word, she drew back. And silence reigned for about five minutes. It was at the end of this, I heard distinct sobs coming from Sam.

My heart fell. Did I just ruin her birthday? “Sam, I-” but she interrupted me before I finished an apology I wasn’t entirely sure how to make.

“No, you’re right. I was treating you like a thing.” She propped herself up on an elbow to face me. It was hard to get the impact of this gesture since we were in the dark.

“I didn’t-” I started, but again she broke through my apologetic words.

“You mean so much more to me than any stupid toy. You’re my friend. My best friend… my only friend.” This last comment was uttered with such desperation. “Please forgive me?”

I took her into my arms and just held her like I did mom when she broke down. I had no words for her. I wanted to forgive her but my throat was closed with emotion. Her plea echoed within me as a deep truth. Sam was in essence a part of me I never knew was missing until now and I could imagine how it might feel for her to lose something like that.

By the time her sobs got under control, I was able to vocalize. “It’s okay Sam. I want the same things. I think having your dad enter the room like that made me feel super scared. I don’t want to lose you over something so dumb. We’ll have other chances, just maybe not tonight.”

I could feel her nod into my shoulder. When she was no longer crying and had blown her nose and wiped her face, she asked, “Do you think it would be okay if we just held each other?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” With the sexual tension removed from the picture, we fell asleep clutching to us the most precious thing in the world.


	22. Growing Pains

The rest of that summer Sam and I hung out constantly. We had a few more sleep overs, but both of us were reluctant in trying to do what we did that first time. I also found out just how heavy long hair can be if you have to have it all the time. It takes a lot of work to keep up with it.

I spent more time with mom and Eric as well. When I wanted to be a boy, I just wore my hair back in a low ponytail. And life continued on.

Junior high meant a new school for Sam and I. Our elementary only went up to sixth grade. And our junior high only covered seventh and eighth. For the most part, these years were uneventful. The only thing of note was that we got cell phones. It made us feel more grown up to have them.

However, we were odd compared to our fellow classmates. Instead of embracing technology and all the social media that went along with it, we preferred to stay low tech for the most part.

Sam did draw a lot more of her Copy comic. Turned out, as Hendrix grew up, he gained more control over his powers, but he started sleeping around. Eventually he got on the radar of a secret government agency who are afraid of super heroes.

Not knowing any better, Copy framed some of the most powerful heroes in the world by pretending to be them. This meant he ended up sleeping with them to get their DNA.

The real twist came when the agency was done with him and tried to kill him. But by that time, he had absorbed so many different powers that he could get away. The whole series ended with him facing all his life’s choices. Does he repent for everyone he’s hurt and become a real hero? Or does he embrace the monster he’s been?

Early on in the series, Sam had killed off Jax. So she thought if she did continue with the character of Copy that she could either bring Jax back, or have Hendrix figure out just how she died.

As for her Durby character, the whole thing ended on an issue from the perspective of a normal person in the world. That person showed how, from their perspective, Durby was pretty much a terrorist. It reframed all of her adventures to date. And that person was a reporter putting the finishing touches on a massive story about Durby.

So all the tales that the reader had experienced up to the final issue were that reporter’s accounting of the story.

Looking back on it now, I think Sam was entering a sort of goth phase in her life. She never dressed all in black or anything, but the things she created kind of reflected a darker side.

As for me, I shot up in height. The growth spurt left me about five foot seven and rather thin. For a boy, I would be considered scrawny, but as a girl, I was about average.

The only other thing of note happened late in our eighth grade year. We were set to study at her place. By this point, we had told her dad that Lilly went to the same school as Sam. I kept my hair long, so it wasn’t hard to pass as a boy or a girl since I tended to wear gender neutral clothes. 

We were in Sam’s room when she announced that it was too hot and she needed to change. Right there, she stood up and removed her top and bra. She was in the process of massaging her breasts from where the bra pinched when she saw me looking.

“What?” She rubbed in circular motions. “You know how bras can pinch?”

I really didn’t. Most of the reason why she was uncomfortable was because her breasts were growing and she needed new under garments to fit her properly. Seeing her naked chest reminded me just how aroused I could be by her.

For a long time, I tried not to think about Sam in that way. It felt safer for our friendship. But seeing her exposed made a lot of blood go south of my belt line.

“Uh.” I did not have the brain power to be eloquent.

Checking out where my eyes were fixed, she looked between me and her chest. With a saucy smile, she cupped herself and held them on display. “Don’t tell me you like to look at these?”

I could only manage a nod. My mouth had gone completely dry. I reached down and tried to ease the discomfort in my crotch.

Seeing this action, she got a look that told me she had something wicked in mind. “How about you show me yours and I’ll show you mine?”

“I can already see yours,” I noted.

“Well, that just means I went first.” I didn’t point out that I had shown her mine years ago so technically I went first. But those memories had faded, including the fear. What had stopped us in more recent days was the fact we sort of didn’t think of each other as sexual partners. But there Sam was with a rather alluring set of very sexual parts.

Standing, I undid my shorts and pulled out my dick from behind my panties. Sam’s mouth dropped open upon seeing it. “It’s huge!”

“Really?” I knew my penis was a bit larger than other guys when we changed for gym. I think the obvious difference made me a poor target for teasing, even though I looked like a girl at times. And to be fair, it was erect, which did add a good amount of girth.

“I remember it being much smaller before.” She had dropped her hands, so I got a good look at the pigmented nipples on her tits. It was this distraction that prevented me from noticing what Sam was doing. Hearing a click brought me out of my daze.

“What? What did you just do?” She was holding her phone in hand.

After typing something she looked up. “Hmm? Oh, taking a picture. Why?”

I shoved myself back into my shorts as best as I could. “You didn’t ask!”

“Sorry. Hey, you can take a picture of me if that seems like a good trade?” I noticed she didn’t offer to delete the picture. However, her chest was so tempting that I capitulated.

“Fine.” For my own revenge I turned my phone on silent, then took a video of her boobs. I then put my phone away.

“Did you get it? I didn’t hear anything,” she observed.

“My phone is on silent,” I explained. “You better put something on.”

I think that incident made us each rethink the other on a sexual level. We’d probably love to start dating, but we had created a major problem for ourselves. Sam’s dad thought I was a girl and Sam didn’t feel too comfortable pretending to be a lesbian. This did mean we had to sneak around for our adult play time when we got together.

To make matters worse, Dr. Sanchez told my mom that since I didn’t reject being a boy, that it might be good to subject me to any and all boundaries she’d normally impose if I wasn’t dressing up. A short conversation with Mrs. Morgan and both the mothers put an end to our sleep overs from there on out.

So with limited access, and this new found interest in one another, we got a bit fixated. This led me to mentioning to Dr. Sanchez that I thought about breasts all the time.

“Do you picture yourself having these breasts?” she asked.

I didn’t want to tell her I was obsessed with Sam’s boobs, so I said, “Yeah.” After all, now that she mentioned it I was feeling a bit inadequate when dressing as Lilly these days.

“Hmm, identifying with female characteristics? Interesting.” She wrote something down on her pad. This would turn into an awkward conversation with mom down the road.

I was laying on my bed messing with my phone. Sam had sent me a pic of her eating a banana. Well, it was more like she placed it in her mouth. It also had a text message that informed me more was in store for me. It was at that point mom entered my room. Shutting my phone off I tossed it to one side and sat up on the bed. “What’s up, mom?”

Her expression was serious as she sat down next to me. “I spoke with Dr. Sanchez and I think we’ve worked something out.”

“Something out?” I had no idea what needed working out.

“Yes, it will require work on your part to help pay for these things. She thinks the act of working will show your determination in realizing this dream of yours.” She stared at her hands on her lap.

I still had no idea what she was going on about. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I’d most likely hire you as my assistant. After all, you’re just as good as I am at sewing. In fact, there are a few things you’re very good at. That would allow us to take on more jobs.” She was nodding as if ticking through the idea. “Judging on the costs, you could probably get them in a few months.”

“Get what?” Her cryptic remarks were making me uneasy.

She looked a little surprised, “Your breasts and maybe even some padding for your rear and hips. Isn’t that what you want?”

I was stunned. Was I getting an operation? “Like at the hospital?” My mind was reeling.

She flinched back. “No! You couldn’t afford a boob job in a few months. I’m talking about silicone padding. You know, breast forms.”

“I… what?” I had never been that big on searching the web. Most of my interaction with electronics had spiked all thanks to Sam and our digital exchanges thanks to the new phones.

Mom studied me. “You don’t know about this stuff?”

“No, I’m not even sure what you’re talking about.” My bewilderment seemed like an oddity to her.

Thankfully she filled in the missing parts. “Well, Dr. Sanchez mentioned you were interested in breasts of your own. She suggested false ones so you could experience things safely. I had to look them up to see what was involved. I’m surprised you don’t know about them?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t even know such a thing existed.”

Taking me by the hand, she led me to her computer and brought up the sites she found. I stood in amazement at the variety of what was out there. They came in ovals and triangles. Some were asymmetric while still others were just round. And then there was the hip and butt padding, the choices were overwhelming.

Rotating her chair she faced me, “So, is this something you’d like?” Mom raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah!” Having something of my own to hold and play with seemed to be a good way to get me by between what Sam and I could do.

“Okay. Okay. Okay…?” Mom’s repetition was more of a way to convince herself on this course of action. “I’m not really sure where we should start.”

Since we were sitting in her sewing room, I looked over at an unfinished dress and got a thought. “Why don’t we start from the dress and work backwards?”

“What do you mean?” Her curiosity was sparked.

“Well, you know how some ladies really don’t look good in certain dresses?”

“God! Don’t I know it.” Mom rubbed the back of her neck. “Then they blame me for it not looking right. I’m sorry, certain cuts work better on different body types.” My thought then hit her. “Oh! I see. We’ll pick a dress type and make sure your measurements would work well in that style!”

I raised an open palm. “You tailor everything else. Why not this?”

“So, what type of dress do you really like?” She had pulled out a pad that she used for basic sketching.

I decided to go with a dress that was pretty straight forward to make. “I do like sheath dresses.”

She rolled her eyes. “You want to be a curvy little thing don’t you?”

“Hmm?” I was not expecting her reaction.

She quickly drew out two outlines. One was a general outline of how a sheath dress hung on a hanger and how it would look on a woman. She pointed to the hips and bust. “For a sheath dress to work well, it relies on the woman to have a decent shape. Wide hips and a full bust seem like what you’ll need.” That’s when a new issue came up. “We’ll probably need to get you smaller things first and work our way up to the size you’ll need.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You go out as Lilly on a regular basis, right? Don’t you think it would be funny if one day she came out with more curves than a mountain road?”

“That would be odd.” I scratched my head considering.

Fortunately mom had worked it out already. “We’ll just have to work you up in stages.” She gave me a grin. “That means you’ll need to work with me for a longer period of time.”

As it was, thanks to Mrs. Morgan, mom was getting a lot of work these days. She even had to turn away a few jobs due to the work load. She never felt great about that. This was turning out as a way to accept that business.

What followed was an intense measuring session along with a detailed discussion about breast shapes. By the end of it, we decided to have me work my way up to a C cup and use rounded breast forms to match mom. She told me how the women in her family all had similar chests and that it only made sense for me to follow suit. She even pulled out some old photo albums. Turned out as Lilly, I looked a lot like my great grandmother Agnus. So mom used her as a model to base things off of as well.

This wasn’t the first time she had to figure out general measurements from a picture that someone had. It was fortunate that my great grandfather liked taking pictures of Agnus since there were a lot to work off of. It seemed my ancestor had a ridiculously voluptuous backside, which I was going to inherit.

Upon further research, we found that the enhancers could be sewn into clothing or worn as foundation garments. This made mom consider a few ideas that she’d plan for the future. As for my situation, we decided on five distinct stages for my development. Consulting some medical tables for female development, we also worked out how long for me to wear each stage. 

“This might take a while Hen.” She was pricing out the various things I would need. “We could go cheap on some of the stages I suppose, but for how long you’ll need to wear them… it would make more sense to spend that little extra.”

“I’m not worried about it mom. At least the first couple of stages look inexpensive,” I pointed out. That was primarily due to the fact that the first couple of phases we planned weren’t full breast forms. Rather, they were various sizes of bra inserts that only increased a cup size or two.

“I don’t know, Hen. This stuff is…” Her words trailed off as she clicked her mouse while looking at a page.

“Mom? What is it?” I was worried she found something that would derail the plan.

“What? Oh! This breast just has a really realistic looking nipple. It’s… disturbing and fascinating.” She pointed to the screen.

Looking over her shoulder, I was reminded that I had seen something very similar in the dressing room when mom tried on a bra in front of me. “Wow! That is pricey. Is that for just one?”

“Yeah. It was initially designed for mastectomy patients.” She was reading the description. “It says here that they will even match the pigment of your other nipple.”

“What’s a mastectomy?” That was a new word for me.

“Um, it’s an operation in which they remove that part of the body. It’s usually done to treat cancer.” Her tone grew somber. “That’s actually how your grandmother died.”

I didn’t want to dwell on this subject any more. “So, who will you call first to increase your work?”

“Hmm? Oh, I think I’ll start with Mrs. Tyler. She’s been a long standing customer who has always asked for more than what I can handle.” She found the number and put the call in.

I don’t think either of us were expecting the response. Mom convinced me to dress as Lilly when we met her customers. From what she had heard, from some of the ladies’ chatter, they preferred an all-female space. That’s why she did most of her client meetings while I was at school. Opening up her hours to when I was home would make it possible for her to meet even more customers who worked during the day. She never had needed to do that before as she was had been swamped with the clientele she did have.

The result was like opening the flood gates. Evidently, mom’s reputation had spread by word of mouth. Many of the ladies she worked for were socialites and had been praised for their unique wardrobes. And when the clients discovered mom’s daughter was helping her out, they wanted to bring in their daughters and nieces as well.

Money was not going to be an issue. In fact, mom decided to pick up a few more machines to help with the process. There was a new high-end sewing machine, an auto-cutter for making the cut pieces faster, and even a set of tools for crafting our own jewelry. Between the two of us, we’d get a gown done in nearly a day. We still needed to do precise fittings, but it was possible to get everything done in a reasonable amount of time.

I even began wearing the first stage of the enhancements. The down side to all of this was that I didn’t have a lot of time to hang out with Sam. I did get to meet a number of girls my own age including some that went to my school. The odd thing was that they didn’t recognize me as Henry. The closest anyone got was a girl named Amber. 

“You have a brother that goes to my school, right?” She was pointing at a picture of me as Henry hanging in the hall.

“That’s Henry,” I answered.

“Henry! That’s it. He’s always hanging around that girl… what’s her name?”

“Samantha,” I supplied.

“That’s it. Where is he by the way?” Amber looked from left to right indicating the house.

“He’s with Sam.” It was a lie, but it’s where I’d want to be if I had the time.

“Oh! So they’re dating?” She was a very inquisitive person.

“Sort of.” My answer was a bit lame even to me, but neither Sam or I had talked about it. “They grew up together.” It didn’t explain anything, but I felt I needed to expand my lack of information.

“Why don’t you go to school with him?” This caught me flat footed. I grasped for something to say. Thankfully, my mom called at that moment saving me.

“Lilly, I need another pair of hands over here.” She was wrestling out a bolt of cloth from our storage closet and a few more bolts were trying to break free. Running to her I pushed the errant fabric back in place. While there, I whispered my problem with Amber’s questions. “Just say you’re home schooled.” Mom shrugged, “That’s what I’d say.”

Returning to Amber, I apologized. When she asked me again about my schooling, I said what mom advised. “Oh, cool.” That seemed to satisfy her.

The other odd side effect of working this job was that I saw a lot of girls and women stripped down to their bra and panties. Some women didn’t even wear bras. This desensitized me to seeing females in their underwear, which had its own consequences.

In one of the rare moments when Sam and I could hang out, she seemed to purposely reveal her bra and panties to me. By this time I was on stage two of padding out my form and was preoccupied thinking about the work I still needed to do.

When I failed to react, Sam cleared her throat. “Lilly.”

“Yes?” I looked in her direction. She had on a lacy black bra and panty set on. I’m not sure where her top went, but she had a denim skirt pulling around her ankles. “Oh, those look nice. Were they on sale?”

Her jaw dropped and she put her hands on her hips. “Were they on sale?” she repeated.

From her tone, I could tell I said something wrong. Peering at her closer, nothing seemed out of place. Perhaps her chest was a little larger and her hips a bit wider, then it clicked. She was expecting me to be stunned. My eyes went wide at the realization.

Mistaken my facial expression as desire, she smirked. “I was wondering where your head was. Do you want to feel how soft they are?” She stepped out of her skirt and moved languidly towards me.

This did have the right response. Now that I was attuned to what was going on, I was turned on. Not because of what she wore, but because of who she was and what her intentions were. She moved into my arms and gave me a soft seductive kiss.

Reaching around her my palms cupped her backside. The fabric was like a gauzy cloud, while her butt had a springy softness all its own. When she finally pulled away, I had a stray thought so voiced it.

“Sam, are we dating?” Amber’s questions had taken root and I found I needed to know the answer.

Sam blinked then tilted her head in thought. “I don’t know. We don’t do normal date type stuff.”

It dawned on me that I was dressed as Lilly. So I clarified my query. “What about when you are with Henry?”

She bit her lip considering this. “Apart from going to school, I see even less of him. No, I don’t think we are dating.”

I should have followed this up with, do you want to date? But her answer stung. I had hoped for an enthusiastic, of course we’re dating silly, but that wasn’t the case. Perhaps Sam figured we didn’t need to be dating in the traditional sense to be together, but I did. So when she just put on a change of clothes and asked what we were going to do next, I did my best to hide that broken part of me.

Later that night, I cried. That’s how mom found me. She rushed over, “Honey. What’s wrong?”

Through my sobs, I stuttered, “Sam doesn’t want to date me.” This was an extrapolation from what she actually said, but it seemed accurate to my heart.

“Oh baby.” Mom wrapped her arms around me and rocked me with a gentle sway. “I think it’s just complicated between you two. To her, it’s like you are two people.”

“What do you mean?” I was very vulnerable and was not sure I could handle any criticism.

“Well, there’s Lilly, her beautiful smart friend. And Henry, the creative quiet boy she grew up with. I think if she chooses one, she’ll lose the other.” Mom’s words were like she was traversing a mine field.

Her insight was something I hadn’t considered and it allowed me to pull my emotions together. Moment by moment, I stopped the tears and the sniffling. “Thanks mom. I needed to hear that.”

“I’m happy I could help. Now, are you okay? I can just sit here with you if you need?” She exuded all the mother’s love in the world at that point.

“No, I’ll be fine.” I waved her off. I knew she still had a few more jobs to finish. I couldn’t help her since it was getting late and I had school the next day.

“Okay, but you call if you need me.” She stood looking down at me. She lightly held my shoulders in her hands.

I brushed them away. “I’ll be okay. And I’ll call you if I need you.”

Her smile was bitter sweet. She knew the feeling of young love with all its pitfalls. “All right. I’ll be working in the other room.”

“I know, I know.” I watched as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Left to my own devices, I considered the situation before me. If Sam didn’t think we were dating, then maybe I need to experience what real dating was all about? I just knew it couldn’t be with Sam since she didn’t think anything we did counted as dating. Besides, it might do her some good seeing me with someone else.


	23. Fall Out

At school, I was preoccupied. For the first time, I was trying to determine who would be a good person to date. Ever since the sixth grade, Sam had been my entire world. Now that the eighth grade was coming to an end, I wanted to show Sam I was worth something.

“Hello? Earth to Henry? Can you hear me?” Sam waved her hand in front of my face.

“What?” I blinked and focused on her. “Did you say something?”

“I asked you what you were thinking?” She took a bite of her sandwich. We were eating lunch in the open courtyard of the school.

That’s when I spotted Erica. From all the girls I interacted with while working with mom, one name kept coming up. Girls were happy to be friends with Erica since she wasn’t too pretty or too popular or mean. She was average by all accounts. One girl even said to my face that she was glad I didn’t go to school with her since I was so pretty that she would have to hate me.

But when girls mentioned Erica, there wasn’t a bad thing to say. Looking at her, she had mousy brown hair, brown eyes, and wore jeans and a plain colored top. It was almost like she was trying to blend in to the background.

Standing up, I placed my lunch on my seat. “Sorry Sam, can you watch my lunch for me? I need to go talk to someone.”

“I suppose so, but-” I didn’t hear the rest of Sam’s question since I was jogging over to where Erica sat.

“Hey Erica.” I caught her while she was opening her lunch bag.

Hearing her name, she looked around bewildered, then realized I was not only standing in front of her but I was staring straight at her. “Me?”

“Yeah.” I grinned. “Unless you don’t like to be called by your name?”

“I, uh, do like my name. You’re Henry, right?” She was trying to figure out what started this exchange.

“Yep! I was wondering if I could take you out this coming weekend.” I hooked my thumbs in my pockets and leaned on one foot trying to look relaxed. It hadn’t occurred to me until now what I’d do if she said no or if she already had a boyfriend.

Thankfully that was not the case. “Me? Like on a date?” Her eyes were wide. “I thought you and Samantha…?” She trailed off not sure how to phrase the question.

I helped her out. “Nah, a lot of people think we’re dating. We’re just good friends. I went to elementary school with her.”

“Oh, uh, then I suppose we could go out. I don’t really have any money saved up for anything.” She was folding and unfolding the top of her lunch bag. As far as a nervous habit went, it was rather cute.

“No problem.” As a result of the increase of business, mom was now paying me for my work. We had budgeted out everything I needed for Lilly, but beyond that, I had money burning a hole in my pocket. Combined this with the fact I hadn’t been going out much, I was fairly flush, given my age. “I asked you, so it’ll be on me.”

“Oh, that’s nice of you. Did you have anything in mind?” She was warming to the idea.

I shrugged. I was typically around very decisive women. And being a compliant person, I didn’t really make the plans. “Since I want to get to know you, I was figuring I’d let you choose something you like.” This seemed like a safe way to proceed.

“Well, there is a movie I’ve been wanting to see. The thing is, I’ll need to ask my parents if it’s okay to go see it with you.” She was now fixated with her lap, not meeting my gaze.

“Oh! Sure, that makes sense.” I hadn’t considered about the parents needing to be involved. “Thinking about it, I should give you my number so your parents can call my mom. Do you got something to write on?”

Having something solid to do, she snapped to her bag and pulled out a pen and pad. After writing my number down, she put them away and produced a tentative smile. “I hope they let me go.”

“Me too.” I made a goofy smile as I rubbed the back of my head. Still having long hair, my hand got stuck and took me off balance since I had been leaning in my nonchalant pose. Recovering, I waved and took my leave as she giggled behind me.

Strutting up to Sam, I could see an obvious scowl crease her face. “What was that about?”

Picking up my lunch, I sat back down. “Oh nothing much.” I took a big bite of my own sandwich and chewed. It never tasted better.

“Why were you talking to Erica?” Sam pressed.

I raised a brow, “You know Erica?”

“Yeah, she’s a sweetheart. Now tell me why you were talking to her?” Sam almost sounded like she was growling.

“I just figured I’d take her out on a date. You know, to go see a movie.” I sipped from my juice.

“A date? I didn’t know you liked her?” Sam had always had a pale complexion, but what little color she did have was draining from her.

I made a one shoulder shrug this time. “Like you said she’s a sweetheart.”

Sam’s jaw clenched shut and her nostrils flared. If I wasn’t mistaken, I think even her eyes glistened. As she turned away, I barely caught her whispered words, “How could you do that?”

I’m not sure it was something I should have answered, but I did anyway. In all my juvenile ignorance I said, “Well, you said we weren’t dating.”

Her head jolted as if slapped. It was at that instant I could see the anguish in her expression. This is what I wanted, wasn’t it? Then why did I feel so hollow?

Gathering the remnants of her meal, she stormed off. She didn’t even turn back when I called out after her. For the rest of the day, she avoided any of my attempts to speak with her. And by the time school ended, she was nowhere to be seen.

It had become our regular routine to walk home together. The middle school was close to Sam’s house and I convinced mom that I could just walk the rest of the way home after walking with Sam. She had reluctantly agreed, but now that walked felt longer than ever before.

I should be thrilled. I was going on a date. Well, I might be going on a date if Erica’s parents let her, but at what cost? I wanted to show Sam that I couldn’t be taken for granted. However, in doing so, I put her in that position.

Standing outside my home, I had to gather myself. I was putting on a false face for mom. A bit of my childhood died in that moment. This was in a lot of ways like when I saw mom being sexual. The difference here was that it felt monumentally sadder. Squaring my shoulders, I walked into the house and announced, “Mom, I might be going on a date this weekend.”

Mom was kneeling in front of Mrs. Tyler, putting pins on a dress. When she did this, she tended to hold a number of the lose pins between her lips so she couldn’t respond. This didn’t stop Mrs. Tyler though.

“Going on a date, Henry? Who’s the lucky girl?” Being one of mom’s longest running clients, she was one of the ladies who knew me. 

When we decided to have me work as Lilly, both of us had fretted over how to introduce Lilly to Mrs. Tyler. So when mom told Mrs. Tyler that her daughter Lilly would be helping her we were stunned by how little she paid attention. She simply said, “That is so nice.” And then proceeded to tell mom what her extended order would be.

So it was jarring to have her ask me a personal question. “Her name is Erica.” I shifted from foot to foot, unprepared to have this conversation with an adult who was not my mother.

“Erica is a lovely name,” cooed Mrs. Tyler.

Mom on the other hand shot me a strange look. She seemed to ask, “What about Sam?” Or maybe that was the guilt in my chest making up words.

“I’ll be in my room. Lots of homework.” I muttered.

“Bye dear,” called Mrs. Tyler. “Oh, and tell that pretty sister of yours hello for me when you see her.”

“I will,” I promised. Ducking into my room, I dropped my bag and slumped onto the bed burying my face in my hands. Gathering myself, I found my phone and texted Sam.

“Hey, missed you after school.” Then I waited, but she didn’t answer. I’m not sure how long I sat there, but that’s how mom found me. Somewhere along the way I had begun crying. It was only when I looked up that I could sense the wetness running down my cheeks.

“Hen? What happened?” Mom ran over and knelt before me gripping my hands.

“I-I, I think I hurt Sam,” I stuttered. In a halting ramble, I reminded mom about asking Sam if we were dating. This followed with my plan to ask Erica out. However, I hadn’t expected her reaction.

Mom stayed tight lip through the whole thing. When I caught her up with my arrival home, she closed her eyes and just breathed deeply for a few moments. When she opened her eyes, she fixed me with them. “Henry, if I teach you nothing else in this life, I hope you’ll learn this. If it is your intension to cause pain, you’ll succeed. It may not be the pain you wish to cause, but you will be responsible for it.” I opened my mouth to respond but she put a finger over my lips and silenced me. “And if your intension is to put love in this world, you’ll also succeed. But you may not know how it will spread, but everyone who is touched by it will be blessed by it. So, before you take any action in your life, try to ask yourself - am I causing pain or spreading love?”

I considered my actions. Sure, I really hurt Sam, but Erica seemed to be happy. So I asked, “Can it be possible that I do both?”

She nodded. “Sadly, some of the toughest decisions in life will lead to some very unfair situations. That’s why you must also build all your choices on honesty. It’s the one way you can show love to yourself.” She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. “Maybe you should call it an early night? I think you had a long day.”

I agreed and started getting ready for bed. Before she left the room, I called out, “Mom? Do you think I should date Erica?”

She paused at the doorway considering. Speaking over her shoulder, she admitted, “Maybe it might be a good change of pace for you. Although, I’d apologize to Sam if I were you.”

“I will.” Slipping into bed, I let my mind wander about what mom had said. I guess I should have been honest with Sam from the start and told her how I felt. Now I just hope she would forgive me. And Erica? Since I put this plan in motion, I couldn’t hurt her. Like it or not, but I might be someone’s boyfriend.


	24. Life in Parts

Years went by and I ended up dating Erica. She was an easy girl to like. We never had arguments and we generally liked hanging out with one another. The problem was that I didn’t share everything with her. Lilly was something I kept hidden. That meant we didn’t go to my house much, since it would have been impossible to avoid signs of my alter ego. It amazes me to this day how I could so easily overlook mom’s words.

The reason for this probably had to do with being vulnerable. My experiences with Sam showed me that I had the potential of really being hurt if someone knew everything about me. And after a couple of years dating, I think even Erica might have sensed it. This left our relationship in a rather fragile state.

As for Sam, it was rough ending junior high. She was distant in the few conversations we had at school. The odd thing was that this didn’t entirely apply to Lilly. I’m not sure if she purposely disassociated me from my feminine persona, but we could still hang out outside of school.

The blow hit me during our freshman year when Sam got a boyfriend. During class, I couldn’t even exchange a handful of words with her, but we spent hours talking when I was in her room as Lilly. I can’t say that was the best for my psyche.

The beginning of the end of my relationship with Erica came in our sophomore year. By this time, we were getting more intimate with our actions. Since neither of us were aggressive, it took a while to initiate our first kiss. However, when it finally did come, all I could think of was Sam.

Meanwhile, Lilly’s interactions with Sam were still on the erotic side. For instance, she was thrilled seeing my increased curves.

“Wow, they’re so full. I bet they’re bigger than mine.” Sam lifted up her shirt exposing her lace clad chest and pressed it against mine. Given the protrusion of her nipples, I suspected she might be aroused. “Are they going to get bigger?”

“I think so.” I lightly guided her to arm’s length so we wouldn’t be in such an awkward position. “The plan is for me to go up one more cup size. That should put me at a full C cup.”

Sam shimmied at this and sang, “Lilly’s milk shake brings the boys to the yard!”

“Sam!” I smacked her on the arm. “It’s not like that.” I spun away to hide the blush I was sporting.

“Dang girl! You also got some serious junk in your trunk!” I could feel her spank my backside, then leave her hand there. “It feels so real,” she marveled.

“It’s silicone,” I explained. “It costs a bit more than-Sam? What are you doing?”

Her index finger was tracing a line up and down the crack of my butt. “Hmm? I like you in these jeans.”

She was always changing the subject like that. “I’m happy for you? That just tickles.” I was still not great at confronting her at times like these. Perhaps I was reticent due to my last attempt at showing her when I started dating Erica. “How about you show me that design you had?”

Sam had changed her art focus over the years. Instead of drawing comics, she was getting more into graphic design . Her parents had seen one of her drawings and integrated it into one of their products.

Seeing that product succeed and get praise hooked Sam. As a result, her parents expanded into selling clothes for juniors, many of which featured Sam’s designs. She even got to help with a few ad campaigns.

Her current project was heavily inspired by webs. They didn’t have spiders, rather it was the intricate weaving she was highlighting. She’d pull up image after image of webs under powerful magnification. She even convinced her parents to get her a microscope so she could study webs she collected around the house. I did not care for these expeditions.

“Hey Lilly! There’s one!” She pointed at a dark corner.

Sure enough, there was a spider’s web complete with its maker. “I don’t want to touch it.”

“God. You’re such a girl.” She then proceeded to nudge the spider away so she could retrieve the web.

“You’re such a strange child,” I remarked.

Unphased, she stuck her tongue out and beamed and rushed to put it under her scope. She called the line entangled, and it would go on to be one of the best sellers among goth girls. I even ended up getting a few pieces.

As for me, I graduated from doll clothing to full-sized people clothes. It was a bit of a transition since comfort had never been a concern for making the smaller costumes. Plus, between dating Erica and hanging out with Sam, I ended up making a lot of clothing for Lilly. I’d wear these pieces while working with mom and it drew in even more business.

Granted, we weren’t on the scale as Sam’s family when it came to making money, but we considered our products as customized art. Needless to say, this gave Sam and I plenty to talk about.

As for Erica and I, we were going through the motions. I’d talk about comics since Eric helped me keep up to date on that subject, but she wasn’t that into them. And the topics she did bring up, like romantic comedies or popular music, I was too afraid to say I liked. I didn’t want her to think of me as a girl. This left us only able to share experiences we had together. A walk in the park, eating dinner at a restaurant, or attending some event, made up the bulk of what we talked about. This was tough since we were so similar and had trouble expanding on the topic.

Erica would say, “I liked the juggler!”

And I’d respond, “Yeah, I can’t believe he could handle eight pins at once.”

Then we’d both blurt OUT, “And the knives!”

It seemed charming at first, but when we ran through our observations, we ended up sitting in silence. It was most likely the stress of this silence that led to our first kiss. We had nothing else to say and knew we each liked each other, so we went for it. Problem is, like I said, Sam filled my mind as our lips found each other.

Emotions roiled each and every time this happened. For Erica’s part, I think she appreciated that I’d finally be acting different than usual. My moods would shift with whatever my current status was with Sam and not with Erica.

Sometimes, I was tender with Erica because Sam and I had a pleasant talk. Other times I was downright punishing with my affection when Sam went on about her current boyfriend. And then I’d go to passionate when Sam cried to Lilly about how she broke up with that boyfriend. For Erica, I must have been like an unpredictable storm when we got intimate.

It was impossible for Erica to even gauge my moods. Since Sam rarely spared Henry more than a few words, there wasn’t even that to give a clue. All my interactions were compartmentalized. And I think it was all the division that spelled the end for my relationship.

Perhaps if I was seeing Dr. Sanchez, she would have pointed all this out to me. Unfortunately, since dressing wasn’t the cause of any emotional unrest anymore and we were all pretty busy these days, I hadn’t seen Dr. Sanchez in quite some time. So, I coped by being rigorous in how I compartmentalized my life.

I stuck to a rigid schedule just to fit everything in. There was school, working with mom, dating Erica, spending time with Sam as Lilly, and doing the occasional family event, all of which vied for more attention. By this time, mom and Eric were talking about moving in together. This made Eric a part of our family and meant even those events were more involved than past outings.

The reason why mom’s relationship had moved this slow was in part due to the fact that they both had houses. And giving up one home made sense, but it was a lot of independence to give up. There were even a few heated discussions between mom and Eric.

What finally broke the argument was when Eric almost yelled, “It’s because I want to marry you!” This exclamation broke the tension for them and they were finally able to get on the same page. I, on the other hand, didn’t feel like I had a way to break the pattern of stress I was under.

I couldn’t tell Erica that I thought of Sam when we made out. And I couldn’t confess my love as Lilly to Sam since I didn’t want to break that part of the friendship. Likewise, Henry couldn’t state his feelings since Sam didn’t want to talk to me. Plus, I didn’t want Erica to interact with Lilly since I thought that might be what caused the problems with Sam. At the time, I did not appreciate the value of honesty, even though that was the example mom and Eric were setting for me.

It all came to a head one day when I came home from Sam’s place. She had told Lilly, “Why can’t I find someone nice like you Lilly?” Then she gave me a soft kiss. I held perfectly still trying not to react. However, my body betrayed me, since when she studied my face she asked, “Lilly? Why are you crying?”

I had no words. I excused myself and headed home. I think I muttered something about allergies. But the truth was it had felt like a missing part of me was being offered. I tried to conjure Erica’s face, but only Sam’s words echoed in my head. Arriving home, I found Eric watching television on the couch.

“Hey Lil.” He glanced over, then did a double take. “Hey, are you okay?” He stood dropping the remote on the sofa and headed towards me.

My resolve had weakened. I threw myself into his arms and bawled my eyes out. For his part, he did exactly what I needed. He let me cry. When the water works ended, he held me at arm’s length and asked, “Do you want to talk?”

Through my sniffling and puffy eyes, I nodded. “Let me go change.”

“Would you prefer your mom?” He was not trying to pass the buck along. Rather he wanted to allow me to have the option.

I shook my head. “I think I need someone, different.”

He produced a goofy grin. “Doesn’t get more different than this guy.” With that, he pointed to his chest with a thumb.

I smiled. “I guess not. Give me a sec.” With that I changed back into Henry. For some reason, it felt right that this should be a man to man conversation. I found Eric at the kitchen table shuffling a deck of cards. He used the deck to gesture to the seat across from him, which I took.

As he dealt out cards he spoke, “Okay, why don’t you start from the beginning.”

For the next hour we played cards and talked. I told him about my feelings toward Sam and her reaction when I asked if we were dating. I mentioned my dating life with Erica. I talked about the confusion I had as Lilly with Sam ignoring Henry. And I mentioned what happened only an hour or so ago.

During my narration of events, Eric grunted and winced at all the right moments to show sympathy. However, he did interrupt when I mentioned Erica. “Wait, you’re dating a girl that essentially has my name?”

I glowered at his remark. Although, now that he mentioned it, I hadn’t put that together. So, I just sighed and shook my head as he waggled his eyebrows.

“Sorry, sorry, couldn’t help but tease. Go on.” He flipped over a card and continued to play.

When I came to the end, silence reigned in the dining room. We had set down our cards and weren’t looking directly at each other. I couldn’t handle the quiet. “Well?”

Eric had his hands steepled before him. “Well, I can see why you broke down. You have a lot bottled up inside.”

I threw my hands up. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You need to be honest.” I can’t say I was expecting him to answer so quick.

“What?”

“In everything you told me, I don’t think you ever told the girls how you honestly felt. Sure, you asked an opinion and acted upon that information, but I’m not sure they know why you’re acting the way you do.” He waved at all the splayed cards on the table. “Right now, you are like these cards all over the place.” He then gathered them up to reform a single deck. “But if you’re going to continue, you’re going to need to gather all these parts and put them back together before you can start fresh.” He then flipped up the top card which was the two of hearts.

Picking up the card, it was as if it held a world of symbolism for me. One heart for each girl. And all I needed to do was to be honest. What would be my next move?


	25. Confessions

As I saw it, I had two options. I could confess my feelings to Sam and hope for the best. Or I could share with Erica my other side and be vulnerable. Both scenarios frightened the hell out of me, but if I didn’t do anything it felt like I’d be torn to pieces. So, I let fate decide.

I took two scraps of paper and wrote Erica’s name on one and Sam’s on the other. I then folded them up so that I couldn’t really tell them apart. Then I mixed them up in my hands as best as possible.

When I felt they were mixed up as well as could be expected, I threw one in the trash and opened up the one left in my hand. Reading the name, I blew out a deep breath. This was going to be tough.

At school the next day, I tracked Sam down. Grabbing her arm, I turned her to face me. “Sam, can we talk?”

She looked annoyed. “Right now? We’re in between classes.” The halls were full of kids milling about heading to their next period.

“Uh, I guess not. Then what about after school?” I had a bit more time to talk with her since the next class we shared.

“Stephen is taking me out after school.” I forgot that was the name of her latest boyfriend.

I rubbed my head in frustration. “Then, what about later this week?”

Her frown was thoughtful. I guess she could sense I had something important to say. “Maybe tomorrow… will you be?” She made cupping motions with her hands around her chest. She was fascinated with the size of Lilly’s breasts.

I shook my head in the negative. “No, I’ll be me.”

Now her forehead furrowed and she grew quizzical. “Is everything alright Henry?” She had kind of stopped coming over ever since I started dating Erica. Therefore, it was rare for her to have much to do with Henry outside of school anymore.

“I’ll explain tomorrow. Can we meet at Stoneway Park?” That was a neutral ground between our two homes.

Entering the classroom, we went to take our seats. In the past, she would have badgered me until I told her what I had on my mind. But we had taken to sitting far away from each other when we had the same class.

I could tell this frustrated her to no end, since I caught her glancing in my direction on more than one occasion. This actually lifted my spirits a bit. At least some part of her cared.

Later that evening, I was surprised when my phone rang and saw it was Sam. “Hello?”

“Hen! Tell me what you wanted to say.” Sam ordered.

“Don’t you have a date tonight?” I asked in return.

“Yes, but I have some time now.” She was very insistent.

I looked at the clock. “I don’t know, it’s getting almost time for dinner. Besides this will probably take a while. I’ll just tell you tomorrow.”

She growled. “Fine! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Next, I was in the middle of eating when my phone chirped again. This time it was a text message. Mom frowned, “You don’t usually get messages this late Hen. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “It’s probably Sam. I needed to talk to her but she was busy this evening.” My phone went off several more times.

Mom cleared her throat. “Perhaps you should see if she’s alright.” Ever since Eric joined our family unit, we relaxed the rule of no electronics at the table. It took some time to convince mom of their benefit, the most important of these reasons was to respond to emergencies.

Pulling out my phone, I scrolled through a number of text messages.

Sam: “Hen you can tell me by text.”

Sam: “We’re just going to be watching a dumb movie so text me.”

Sam: “God this movie is so boring. You can text.”

Sam: “Hello! Hen, are you there?”

I finally typed a reply.

Henry: “In the middle of eating. Try to enjoy the movie.”

Sam: “Sorry, text me when you’re done.”

Henry: “Okay.”

Mom and Eric eyed me as I put my phone away. After a moment mom couldn’t help but ask, “Well?”

I was shoveling food in my face. With a full mouth I managed to say, “Well what?”

“Is everything okay?” She gestured to my phone. “That thing was ringing like crazy.”

“Oh yeah. I’m just following some advice Eric gave me.” I picked up my plate to go wash it off. “I’m going to my room to finish some homework.”

“Okay.” As I left the room she was staring at Eric. “What advice did you give him?” I didn’t hear the answer as I closed my bedroom door. 

Retrieving my phone, I sent a text to Sam.

Henry: “All done eating. What’s up?”

Sam: “You got to tell me what you were going to say?”

Henry: “Aren’t you still with Stephen?”

Sam: “Yeah, but don’t change the subject. Spill it!”

Henry: “Tomorrow I promise. Besides I got to finish some homework.”

Sam: “I hate you! Grr!”

From there our texts devolved into sending each other series of emojis. I managed to work around the various smileys, poops, and other more creative colorful expressions and get my work done. Before I tucked in, I placed a call to Erica.

For quite some time, we had created a routine where we’d call each other in the evening before heading off to bed. Many times, it was just to say goodnight. However, this time was a bit different.

“Hey Hen!” Erica’s voice was bright and sunny.

“Hey Button.” This was a nickname I made up for her when I said she had a button nose. So far it had stuck. “I wanted to tell you I have something planned tomorrow.”

“Oh? Does it involve me?” Her words were coy and suggestive.

I took a steadying breath. How to go about putting this? Screw it, I’ll just jump right in and say it. And then I proceeded to tell Erica about Stoneway Park. After a phone call like that, getting to sleep tonight was going to be tough, but somehow I managed.

The following day everything seemed to go at a snail’s pace. Classes went on forever. I also spent a good deal of time avoiding Erica and Sam. So, when the final bell rang I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

As I ran home, my phone chimed with messages from both girls. All I replied with was the park and a time. I still had some decisions to make and I wanted some time to myself to think about things.

Rushing inside, I went to my room. The house was eerie in that Eric had taken mom out on a date so the place was empty. Entering my room, I went about laying out an outfit for Lilly. Looking down at it, I bit my lip considering if this was the right course of action. I closed my eyes and considered all the outcomes. It wasn’t easy with time ticking ever closer. Popping my eyes open, I knew what to do next. I only hoped I wouldn’t regret it.

Arriving at the park, I soon discovered that both girls had beat me to the agreed upon spot. They were tentatively having a conversation looking rather uncomfortable.

I had picked out an out of the way eating area with a cover over several picnic tables. As I approached, they spotted me at the same time.

“Henry over here.” Erica waved me over.

Sam, on the other hand, crossed her arms under her chest and shifted her glance between me and Erica. As I got closer, she asked, “What’s this about, Henry?”

I winced. It had been some time since Sam had used my whole first name. I must have appeared sheepish with hands shoved in my pockets. For all the world, I must have appeared to be guilty of something since Erica piped in, “Henry? Is something wrong?”

I sighed. “Sort of Erica. I was talking to my mom’s boyfriend and he pointed out I haven’t been completely honest.” Both girls went almost entirely still at these words.

Erica darted a glance at Sam, then back to me. “Are you cheating on me?”

Her accusation was like a punch in the gut. “What! No! Why would you say that?” This had taken an unexpected turn.

“Well, you won’t tell me anything. And she’s here.” Erica nodded in Sam’s direction. “What am I supposed to think?”

I rubbed the back of my head and shuffled my feet in the grass. “Wow. I guess that does look pretty bad.”

“Then why is she here?” I was sorry for Sam since Erica was speaking as if she wasn’t standing just a few feet away.

“She’s a witness,” I said.

“I’m a what?” Sam blurted.

“She’s what?” Erica took a step back. “I’m sorry Henry, but I’m not into weird stuff like that.”

“What?” This was definitely not going how I envisioned. “No. I mean she can verify what I need to confess, since she already knows.”

“Knows what?” Erica’s body was becoming very closed. It was as if she was involuntarily protecting herself.

This was going downhill fast. So I just let it out. “I dress like a girl from time to time!”

Erica’s expression switched several times. First came shock followed by anger. That was then replaced by confusion which turned into curiosity. “You dress like a girl?” She studied me from head to toe looking for any sign of this. “Your hair is a bit long for a boy, but I don’t think that counts. And your clothes are non-specific, but I wouldn’t call them for girls.”

I turned to Sam for help. “Sam, can you tell her?”

Sam had remained reserved. I couldn’t read the emotions on her face. All I could make out was that she was giving this situation some serious thought. Coming to some sort of conclusion, she gave the barest of nods and faced Erica. “He does dress like a girl. Her name is Lilly.”

This was taking a lot for Erica to process. “You’re Lilly?” She addressed me.

“Yes, at times,” I admitted.

“So, you’re not a boy?” She touched her lips. “Have I been making out with a girl?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, I’m a boy who dresses like a girl at times.”

“Do you like boys?” Erica’s voice was small and lost.

“God no!” I screwed up my face. “I only like girls.”

This was taking a lot for Erica. She sat heavily onto one of the picnic benches. “But you don’t look like a girl,” she countered.

I knew I should have dressed up coming here. I figured though that might be too much of a surprise. To my amazement, Sam interrupted. “I can show you pictures of Lilly.” She had pulled out her cell phone and was pulling up the images. Before I knew it, she was handing Erica the device.

As Erica swiped through the images, Sam gave me a funny look. I didn’t have the bandwidth to analyze this fact because I was too nervous gauging Erica’s reaction. All my mind could do was register that Sam was staring at me.

When Erica raised her head, she handed Sam back the phone. “I think you’re trying to prank me.”

Again, not what I had anticipated. “I’m sorry, what?”

She waggled a finger at me. “You must have a twin sister or something. Sure you two look a lot alike, but she’s totally a girl.” She gestured at Sam’s phone.

“I… uh, am not lying.” This was an odd predicament. I was opening up to this girl with one of my deepest darkest secrets and she just didn’t believe me.

Again, Sam came to my rescue. “Why don’t you take her to your house and show her?” I spared Erica a glance to see if this would suffice.

She shrugged. “If you think that will work. But you’re coming with us.” She directed this towards Sam.

“Me? Why?” Sam was baffled by Erica’s pronouncement.

“Because I want both of you where I can see you. Obviously, you’re both in on this joke. And I’m not going to let you sneak off and pretend to be this Lilly when we get to his house.” Erica was taking charge of the situation.

Thankfully Sam shrugged it off. “Sure. At the very least this should be fun.”

So, there we went walking together back to my place. I had just given my life’s greatest confession and it was being treated as a joke. How could this day get any crazier? Well, it’s like they say, ask a stupid question…


	26. What Lies Beneath

Entering my house, I told them. “Mom and Eric are on a date so no one’s home.”

“Not even your sister?” Erica asked.

I tilted my head. “I told you it was me in those pictures.”

“Hello?” Erica called out.

“What was that for?” I asked.

“Just making sure no one else is here besides us.” She waved me to the hallway. “Okay, go ahead and change. Sam and I will be waiting right here.”

I turned to Sam to see if she was okay with this. To my amazement, she had a toothy grin. “Sam?”

She imitated Erica’s wave for me to go change. “Go on. I’m having a blast.” She turned to Erica. “Can I record your reaction?”

“No! I told you two I’m not getting fooled or made fun of.” She paused in thought for a second. “But you can record Henry coming out in a dress.” She smiled to herself expecting a ridiculous sight.

I let the two girls go on as I went into my room. On my bed was the outfit I had picked out and was going to wear to the park. Now it looked as though I’d have the opportunity right now.

As far as outfits go, it was nothing that special. It was a denim skirt with a pink and white floral top. Even the sandals were just a basic denim sling-back on square heels to match the skirt. I decided to add some pink stud earrings and a silver necklace since it didn’t take me too long to get dressed. Even my foundation garments with all the padding were easy to slip into.

Releasing my hair from its low ponytail, I ran a brush through it to let it frame my face. Looking at myself in the mirror I decided to also put on some pink lipstick. The mirror was a fairly new addition. When we came up with the plan for the padding, I wanted to watch the progress. So, we put in a long mirror that hung on my closet door.

“Are you almost done?” One of the girls was calling me out. In my indulgence, I had turned a quick clothing change into a drawn-out process.

“Sorry, coming.” I replied. Straightening out my spine, I opened my bedroom door and joined Erica and Sam out in the living room.

As I entered, I noticed two things. Sam was holding up her phone to film me and Erica was doing a double take. I decided to pose for the camera and flashed the hand sign for “I love You.”

“Um, hello?” Erica was a bit uncertain as to how to proceed.

“Hi Erica, I’m Lilly.” I changed my hand sign for a wave.

Color was leaving Erica’s face. “You don’t sound like Henry.”

I blinked. I had been acting like Lilly for years now that I didn’t realize she, or should I say I, had a different speech pattern and tone. I guess I do.”

“Woah! I never realized that!” Sam ended her recording. “Can you say something in Henry’s voice?”

I opened my mouth, then shut it. I shook my head. “It feels too weird to try to do that now.”

Erica was pointing behind me at my bedroom door. “Do you mind if I just make sure Henry isn’t hiding in there?”

I made a one shoulder shrug and gestured for her to check the room out. “Go ahead.”

As she walked past, she took great care not to touch me. I moved to one side to give her more room. As she ducked into my bedroom, Sam teased me. “Hey Lil, you got a girl in your room. Need me to leave?”

I rolled my eyes. “Sam, you’re such a child.”

Sam made her eyebrows dance suggestively. “You should know. Since you’re all grown up.” With a lightning quick move, she copped a feel of my breast that was closer to her.

“Sam!” I admonished. I would have also slapped her shoulder, but Erica reemerged in my doorway.

“He’s not in here.” She had the impression of being at a complete loss.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. “He’s standing right here?”

Erica’s gaze traveled over me several times. Then she shook her head. “No, she’s got-” She then made an hourglass shape with her hands. “-curves.”

“Oh, you mean her big old boobies and that junk in the trunk.” Sam slapped me on the ass while I was facing Erica. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Sam was acting cruder than usual. Perhaps she was asserting some sort of dominance?

I squeaked in shock at the slap.

“Yes?” Erica was uncertain about this conversation.

Sam, on the other hand, dismissed everything. “That? That’s just padding. You should try touching it.”

I would have protested but Erica had taken a step toward me and was slowly raising a hand. Chills ran the length of my body and I could feel gooseflesh forming on my arms and legs. Even my breath got shallow.

Even if Sam had no respect for me and what I wanted, at least Erica did. “Is that okay… Lilly?”

It felt hard to make my voice work, so I nodded my ascent. I then took a step towards her, closing the distance even more. We locked eyes as she reached for my chest.

When the tips of her fingers made contact, she jerked her hand away. “I’m sorry.” She buried her face in her hands.

This brought me out of my stupor. “For what?”

“Your breast!” she exclaimed. “It’s real!”

Sam started laughing. “That’s the point. It’s not real but it feels real.” She marched over grabbed Erica’s hand and practically rammed it onto one of my breasts. “See?”

Erica once again tried to pull away, but thanks to Sam she couldn’t. Eventually she relaxed and let her fingers curve around the shape. “How does it feel like this?” When Sam let go of her hand, Erica kept it on my chest for a few more seconds before letting go.

“They’re silicone,” I explained. When all I got was a puzzled face from Erica, I continued, “They’re typically sold to women who have had their breasts removed.”

“And crossdressers!” Sam piped in.

“Yes, and crossdressers,” I admitted.

“I’m still not entirely sure that this isn’t some sort of elaborate prank.” Erica said.

“Well?” Sam had a sly devious expression. This usually proceeded often very naughty acts. “There is one way to be sure.”

Both Erica and I turned to her and asked, “How?”

“You could see what’s under that skirt.” The best way to describe how Sam was acting was as a devil on our shoulder.

Erica and I faced one another and discovered we were both blushing crimson. “I don’t know,” Erica protested.

“Aren’t you supposed to be dating?” Sam was now openly goading us on. “I figured you two must have messed around a little.”

I could tell this was about to trigger Erica’s fight, flight, or freeze response. I had seen it before when she had seen a big spider at her house. I decided to step in. “Come on Erica. Let’s go to my room for a minute.” When Sam looked to follow, I ordered, “Sam, you stay out here for this.” In response, she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

Ignoring her, I ushered Erica into my room. I closed the door and locked it to keep Sam out. I figured I needed to calm Erica down so she wouldn’t hyperventilate. When I spun to face her, I was startled when her hand dove under my skirt.

Before I knew what was going on, she was digging into my under garments and reaching for my tucked cock.

My breath caught and eyes went wide as her fingertips grazed my shaft. This stimulation brought a surge of blood to my loins. And as if my dick was trying to help her out, I began to get an erection.

It wasn’t until her fingers fully wrapped around my girth that she looked into my face and saw my shock. “Henry? Oh, sorry are you okay?” She looked down to her hand which was obscured by my skirt then back to my eyes.

It was hard to think with her hand gripping me. I did manage to get out. “I’m okay. I thought I needed to calm you down. That’s why I got you away from Sam.”

“Oh! Uh, I thought you were trying to give us privacy so I could, um, touch it.” Her hand was still exploring the length of me. “Is it supposed to be this big?”

“Sort of, when I get aroused it gets bigger.” I was trying to focus on her words so I brought my attention to her lips. That in turn made me want to kiss her.

“No, I mean even erect, you seem big.” I liked how her tongued darted out pass her teeth when she said certain words.

“I, uh, guess I’m bigger than most.” I was thinking about the guys in gym when we had to change. On one occasion we got so muddy that we even took a shower.

“Oh!” I couldn’t resist those lips any more. So I stopped any other words by crushing my own mouth against hers.

It was a bit awkward with her squeezing my cock, our breasts bumping into one another, and her trying to find a handhold on my extremely voluptuous rear. This last made her pull way. “Your butt is huge,” she announced.

Passion was dulling my senses. So I growled in response. “You mean like yours?” With my free hands, I found her backside and kneaded the fleshy mounds in my hands.

Erica had finally let my cock go when I performed my own groping maneuver. Tentatively, she reached around and cupped my buttocks in return as we went back to kissing. 

We were then interrupted by Sam knocking on my door. “Guys? I don’t want to just wait out here while you two do who knows what.”

We broke apart, ashamed at how we reacted. I put my back to her and tried to gather myself. My dick was still too hard to tuck back in place, but thanks to wearing a skirt and tight shaping garments it was mostly concealed pressed against the front of my body. I did have to straighten out a few of my garments.

Taking a glance at the mirror revealed my smeared lipstick. I was in the midst of fixing it when I noticed Erica opening my door.

“So? Are you finally convinced?” Sam immediately went on the offensive.

“Yes, I know now that Lilly and Henry are the same person.” Erica answered.

“Erica, your lipstick is a bit messed up.” I winced internally at Sam’s comment. She was unaware that Erica didn’t wear any makeup.

“I don’t wear makeup.” Erica’s response was an involuntary reaction.

It took a moment for that to sink in. Erica dabbed at her mouth and noticed the pink tint on her fingers. She then ran off to the bathroom. Sam on the other hand looked hurt. At least I think that was how she appeared, since it was gone as soon as I had noticed it.

“I think I need to go home.” Her tone was flat and lifeless.

“I’ll walk you home,” I offered.

“No.” Sam raised a hand to forestall me. “I think you and Erica have a lot to talk about. I’ll see you later.” With that she left.

Hearing the front door close, Erica emerged from the bathroom. Her face was damp. I imagined she scrubbed it clean in the meantime. We stared at each other for a while in silence.

To break the tension I asked, “Do you mind if I change back to Henry?”

She nodded. “Please do.” Giving me privacy, she informed me she’d be waiting in the living room.

Every time I had changed from Henry to Lilly or vice versa, I had always been excited in one way or another. Lilly had all the fun clothes while it seemed Henry had all the freedoms. For the first time, I couldn’t say being Henry or Lilly was right. So it came down to what Erica was most comfortable with and that was Henry. I just needed to know, was I fine with that?


	27. Time and Change

I must admit, during the next few months Erica really tried to understand why I dressed as Lilly. For her, though, there wasn’t much she got out of it. Mom got a daughter. Eric got mom. Sam finally had a female friend. But my girlfriend didn’t need any of that. Instead what she got was a secret she had to keep.

I never thought about if I opened up to her that she would in turn have to carry that and become less forth coming with her own family. She had a pretty traditional family who were bland in a lot of ways. And that is how they liked it. She was uncomfortable being the wild one among her relatives.

After the initial questions, she attempted to avoid mentioning it. She even turned the word sister into a code phrase when she couldn’t avoid talking about it.

“Oh, that’s right. Your sister is in town.” This meant she had to plan to do things without me during those times.

I tried going shopping with her as Lilly, but after a single store she asked to go home. It wasn’t even a clothing store. It was a candy shop we both liked.

Soon after she began dropping hints for me to change. “Man, I bet you’d look super sexy with short hair,” she’d murmur as she cuddled close. “Have you thought about working out more and getting some muscle tone?” This was mentioned while she was caressing my thigh.

When Lilly mentioned this to Sam, she had pretty strong notions about what Erica was doing. “That bitch is trying to manipulate you.” Looking back, it is a bit ironic since that’s sort of what Sam did to get me into crossdressing as Lilly.

Despite all of Erica’s attempts at changing me, she was being altered in less subtle ways. When we were intimate, she asked me to spank her and pull her hair. When I did, she got rather wild.

We were in the theater on a date when she leaned in and whispered. “Henry, pinch my nipples.” 

I almost dropped my popcorn. “What?” I rasped.

“Put your hand up my shirt and pinch my nipples,” she reiterated. She found my hand and started putting it up her top.

I snatched my hand away. “No! We’re in public.”

Later that evening, after she pouted a bit, we were making out in her room. Her parents had gone on a trip and her sister was staying with a friend while they were away. This left the house empty save for us. “I’m sorry Henry for asking you to pinch me in the theater.”

“That’s all right.” I was eager to get back to exploring her mouth.

She pulled off her top. “As punishment, you should slap my tits.”

I was very reluctant to do anything like that. “I don’t want to do that,” I protested.

“Come on. I’ve been bad.” This time she removed her bra exposing her chest. They were glorious except for the bruising around the tips of her breasts.

“What happened there?” I pointed to the colored skin.

She looked down then threw her hair back. “I guess I was playing too hard with them. Now come on, give them a slap.” To demonstrate, she wacked herself with an open palm strike.

That made me wince. “No. Don’t do that.”

Seeing my determination, she changed tactics. “Then you should rape me.”

This time my blood ran cold. “What?”

“Just hold me down and have your way with me.” She lay back on her bed.

My best guess is that her behavior might have stemmed from keeping such a big secret from her family. It translated into a need to be punished for the guilt she carried. Part of her must have gotten excited that first time and she didn’t want that to be the case. Loathing mixed with sexual urges combined poorly with her self-esteem. 

I didn’t consider that this was a cry for help. However, I did recognize I played a part in her actions. At the time, though, I was having no part of it.

I stood to leave. “I’m going home.”

“What’s a matter, faggot? You can’t get hard for a woman since you just wish you had a pussy?” I think she was trying to get me angry, so she pressed on. “It’s such a waste to have a cock like yours be on such a freak.”

Later in life, I could have probably handled this situation better, but we were stupid high school students. My reaction was not to fly into a rage, but to break down in tears. She had voiced uncertainties I had about myself. And hearing them come from someone that had professed to care for me was heart wrenching.

I numbly walked to the front door as she continued yelling obscenities at me. I was about to reach the front door when she realized I hadn’t taken the bait. She ran after me and spun me around just as my hand found the door knob. It was hard to see through my tears.

Seeing my face and the tracks leaking from my eyes, it finally broke through her own pain that she recognized what she had done. “Oh my god Henry! I’m so sorry!” She pelted me with kisses as she pressed her bare torso against me. “I thought we could role play and-”

I took her by the shoulders and peeled her away. It was hard due to her death grip on my shirt. Now she was crying because we both knew what was coming next.

“Erica, I don’t-” I began.

“No!” she whimpered. Shaking her head from side to side, she attempted to drown out my words. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, “she repeated over and over again.

I shook her by the shoulders I was still gripping. “Erica! We need to stop dating.” My own voice was weak to my ears. I had to choke the words out passed my own sobs.

“No! We can start over!” she pleaded. “I’ll try getting along with your sister! Just say you’ll stay!”

My resolve had been waning, but her bargain galvanized me. Even in the midst of crying, she still used that dumb code phrase. And she used it like a compromise that she’d put up with. I gave a slow shake of my head. “I don’t think that would work.”

“Then tell me what you want,” she demanded.

For an instant Sam flashed in my mind. However, I couldn’t say I wanted her to be someone else. But that was the long and short of it. When I conceived of the idea to date someone, it had been to replace Sam. Erica was just a bystander in all of this.

This epiphany made the hurts she had inflicted on me drop away. Instead, I was suffused with guilt. I had ruined this nice, topless, weeping girl, all because I had my feelings hurt years ago. I needed to make things right. When Eric said for me to be honest, I don’t think he meant just the girls. I should be honest with myself as well.

“Can I ask you a question, Erica?” I put authority in my words. Gone was the choked sound.

This allowed her to regain her composure. Sniffling she wiped her nose and rubbed her eyes. “I suppose so?”

“Do you love me?” The question hung in the air between us for several moments.

“Well? I guess. I mean I really like-” I placed a finger over her lips silencing her.

“That’s not a yes. And if it is not a yes, then it is a no.” I lowered my arms from her.

She started to tremble. “But, do you love me?”

I shrugged. “That’s just it, I’m as confused as you are.” We let silence creep into the room again. I rubbed my face clearing away the drying tear stains that were present. “I think when it is real, we could say those words much easier.”

“You were my first real boyfriend,” she confessed.

I chuckled and looked down scuffing the floor with my toe. “And you were my first girlfriend.”

“I think I said yes to your offer of a date because I was tired of being alone.” She sounded somber.

I blew out a sigh. “And I couldn’t be with the person I wanted to be with.”

“Is it Sam?” she asked with no malice.

I nodded, then looked up. She was looking away in the middle distance not focused on anything in the room. “Yeah,” I answered in case she didn’t see my head nodding.

“I think I knew.” She pierced me with her gaze. “Did you ever cheat on me?”

I shook my head without thinking. “No.”

She gave a single sharp nod. “Thanks.”

“Well, you’re a great girl. You deserve someone faithful.” I had been tempted many times to make a move on Sam as Lilly especially with how flirty Sam always was, but I never went as far as we did when we were younger.

“That’s an odd compliment,” she pointed out.

I snorted, “Well, I guess I could tell guys what awesome boobs you have. But I figure that wouldn’t be great.”

This made her laugh. “I don’t know. If you talk about my chest, I might just have to mention how big your package is.” She patted my crotch.

My penis took that opportunity to spring to life. Additionally, Erica was still touching the area. With wide eyes, she gasped and peered at my pants.

“Really? Now you get horny?” She scoffed, “You’re sending me mixed signals here.”

“Sorry. I don’t really control it. Besides you still don’t have a top on.” I moved to block her line of sight on my crotch.

“Well, I guess you’re not gay.” She cupped her chest putting them on display. “Maybe we can do something before you go?” Her smirk was full of mischief.

“We probably shouldn’t.” My cock was angry at me for saying that.

Erica pouted. “I guess you’re right.” We shuffled awkwardly around after this. Then, as if a thought popped into her head, she added. “I won’t tell anyone about you dressing as Lilly.”

“Thanks,” I replied. After a brief thought I continued, “However, if you ever talk to a psychiatrist about any of this, go ahead and tell them.”

She put her hands on her hips. “What makes you think I need one of those?”

I put a conciliatory hand up. “I don’t, but it’s the type of stuff I tell mine.”

“You have one?” She was actually shocked by this information.

I may have not seen Dr. Sanchez in quite some time, but she was still someone my family could call. So, I just said, “Erica!” I scolded. “What point of me dressing like a girl seems normal to you?”

After a beat, she burst out in laughter. “You’ve got a point.”

“Besides, you need to do something about your fetish going around showing off your breasts.” I pointed to them for emphasis.

“You’re such an ass.” She finally crossed her arms covering herself. “Although, I heard someone was going to start talking about how great they are?”

“Fair enough. However, you may just need to talk about that massive ego of yours,” I teased.

“It’s not ego when it’s the truth,” she argued.

I conceded the point. When we met our next bout of stillness, I took it as a sign to leave. I gestured to the door. “I guess I better take off.”

“Good bye Henry.” Her expression was bitter sweet.

“Later Button.” I winked as I turned to open the door.

She hid behind the door so her neighbors wouldn’t get an eye full. She didn’t really say anything after I called her by her nickname.

Walking down the sidewalk, I was chalk full of emotions. The future was both frightening and exciting. On one hand, I had lost my first girlfriend, but, on the other, I knew myself a whole lot better. Passing trees and bushes that decorated the front lawns, I could make out a riot of colors. The world was full of sights and opportunities, as well as endings. But as someone once said, an ending is just the beginning to something new.


	28. Something New

I’d like to say Sam found out about my break up with Erica and we soon got together. But that didn’t happen at all. For whatever reason, her current boyfriend was an all-around nice guy. They didn’t even fight. This kind of unnerved Sam, or at least that’s what she told Lilly.

“He’s like too perfect.” Sam threw her hands up in the air. “I mean, I can’t even get angry with him ever! It’s irritating!”

I was laying on my stomach on her bed with my feet up in the air. “So, you don’t like him because he’s good at being a boyfriend?”

Sam was pacing in her room and spun to point a finger at me. “Exactly! You get it, right?”

I bowed my head, letting my hair cascade around my face as I thought. On one hand, I did want her relationship to end. But that was only so that I could start dating her. Although, by being supportive, I could see through Lilly’s eyes what to avoid. I flipped my hair back to look at Sam. “Well, I think you’re upset because he makes you feel inadequate.” 

After my breakup with Erica, I asked to see Dr. Sanchez again. Dr. Sanchez and I had talked through why things didn’t work with Erica. One of the ideas Dr. Sanchez put forth was that maybe she didn’t feel feminine enough when I was Lilly. I figured something similar might be happening with Sam.

“What do you mean? Do you think I don’t deserve him?” Sam took a rather defensive posture.

“No!” I scrambled to recover. “I’m just saying, because he’s so perfect, it makes you feel like there’s something you’re not seeing.” I knew telling Sam she felt unworthy was the wrong move just by her initial reaction.

She kept still for a moment more, holding that tense stance, then she released it. “Yeah, I guess that’s it. Nobody is perfect all of the time. It’s like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.” She sat down next to me on her bed.

I decided to change the subject. “Have you come up with a new marketing idea?” Recently, she had gotten away from spiders, but was still struggling to find a new theme to give her parents.

“I don’t know. Every time I try to create something, my mind keeps coming back to my boyfriend.” She threw herself back on her bed. One of her arms flopped over onto my curved backside. She absent-mindedly caressed it.

“Hey! What about that?” I pulled out from under her arm. That contact was a bit too enticing for me.

“What about what?” Sam sat up.

“Perfection!” I announced.

“Perfection? How do you show that?” I could tell by her tone she was not quite on board.

I got to my feet and swirled. “A perfect ten out of ten in a competition.” I reached up to the ceiling fan she had in her room. From the chains hung two large crystalline pulls that looked a lot like diamonds. “The perfect diamond!” I grasped one of the pull tabs in between my fingers. I then ran to her curtains and moved them to one side, getting a bit wrapped up in their folds. “A perfect sunset.” I presented the sun like a model showing off a car. It wasn’t the right time for sunset, but I think she got the point.

“An angel,” she said in a hushed whisper. It was so quiet I almost didn’t hear her.

“What?” I noticed she was staring at me. “Oh! Yes, I suppose. An angel would be perfect?”

Her cheeks got a ruddy hue before she pulled her eyes away. “Yeah, I think I could do something with that. I can even go edgy with the perfect cold. Or romantic with the perfect love.” She moved over to her desk and wrote some notes down.

I untangled myself from the drapes. Sam was now sketching something. I stepped close and looked over her shoulder. It took a moment, but I could have sworn it was the basic outline of me wrapped in her curtains. “What’s that supposed to be?”

Sam jumped and closed up her pad. “Nothing! I’ll work on it later. You just inspired me. That’s all.” She darted her head around trying to find something to talk about. “So, are you and Erica talking?”

This was a regular conversation we had. Ever since the breakup, Sam and I were both worried Erica would reveal Henry as a crossdresser, despite what she had promised. Talking to her in school was just weird, but I made the effort. Fortunately, we did just have summer break, so much of the hurt feelings that were raw had been already dealt with. But now that we were in our junior year, we were starting to feel the pressure to act grown up about things. And that meant being able to speak to our ex’s. 

“We’ve talked a little.” I found the window very interesting at the moment.

“And?” Sam pressed.

I bobbed my head from side to side. “You know, we’ve moved on.” In fact, Erica was starting a new relationship. Having been in a fairly serious one had given her the confidence to ask the boy she’d had a crush on for years. This was awkward since that had been while we’d been together. “She’s dating again.”

“Really?” Sam leaned on the back of her desk chair. When she started drawing, she had sat down. Now she was turned and sitting sideways.

“Yeah, evidently she really liked the guy, but was always too nervous to say anything to him.” I rested my hands on the window sill.

“That means?” Sam’s words trailed off.

I nodded then rested my forehead onto the glass. It was cool to the touch. “Yeah, it means she had a crush on him while we were dating.”

“Oh, Lilly, I’m so sorry.” I could hear the creak of the chair as she got up and came behind me.

Honestly, it didn’t hurt that bad. In fact, I was doing the same thing. Sam was always on my mind when I had been with Erica. So it would have been hypocritical of me to get upset. “I’m fine.”

Sam’s arms wrapped around me from behind. I could feel her breasts crushed against my back. She rested her chin over my left shoulder. “It’ll be all right, Lil.”

I wanted to spin around and kiss her so bad. I wanted to possess her lips with mine and tell her that it’d be all okay because she would be mine. But I restrained myself. With a wildly beating heart, I managed to murmur, “Thanks.”

Still, the year crept on. We were passed the halfway point of our junior year when the cracks finally started to show. On more than one occasion, I’d see her boyfriend as both Henry at school and Lilly at Sam’s house. He might have been a great boyfriend, but he sure wasn’t observant. He never realized that Henry and Lilly were the same person. But then again, for most of our high school career, Sam had distanced herself from me. So we didn’t hang in the same circles.

It happened during a shopping trip to the mall. We had Steven in toe to carry our purchases, while we went from store to store. Sam had come up with the idea to reward Steven with a fashion show at the end of the trip.

“How again is this a reward?” I asked in a whisper while we were in the dressing room.

“Simple, wouldn’t any guy like two girls trying to impress him with sexy outfits?” Sam gave an exaggerated wink.

Considering it that way, I guess it would be a treat. However, I had never thought about actively dressing sexy. Much less to be intentionally trying to be sexy for a guy. However, Steven had been a really good sport this entire day. So, throwing caution to the wind, I went along with Sam’s plan.

We decided to have three categories to our show. We’d start with the evening wear, move into the swim category, and finish with clubwear. Being the competitive person she was, Sam wanted us to come out at the same time and gauge Steven’s reactions to determine the winner. I asked her what constituted a better score.

She rolled her eyes at me. “The one he thinks is hotter, duh.” I didn’t want to point out that since Steven was dating her, she had an unfair advantage. Then again, was this really a contest I wanted to win?

For the first round, Sam chose a pale pink gauzy dress with spaghetti straps. I, on the other hand, tried on a deep velvet green gown with clear crystals sewn into the bodice. The halter top style came and formed a choker around my neck. Since I was still dying my hair red, the coloring really suited me. And it showed.

As we both stepped out, Steven’s eyes kept wandering to me. Having worked day in and day out on dresses with mom and having custom designed my feminine curves to look good in certain cuts, it was weighted to go in my favor.

“Wow, Lilly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dressed up like that.” Steven was pretty close to drooling.

Sam cleared her throat, “And how does my dress look?”

Steven glanced over. “You look sexy as always babe.” But his eyes returned to me. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Sam stomp back to the changing room. “I better go follow her,” I mumbled leaving Steven with a shy smile. Turning to the rooms, I experienced a chill go up my spine. I never had someone look at me with such intensity before. It was both thrilling and scary.

When I got to the room, Sam and I were sharing she was already halfway out of the dress she had worn. “I guess, that one goes to you.” She was not being too gentle with the dress.

I decided to derail her bad mood before she got some real steam behind it. “You didn’t say I looked good,” I teased. I was prepared by standing in a provocative pose when she looked my way.

Sure enough, her head snapped towards me. I watched as her eyes became dilated and her breath caught for just a second. She sighed deeply. “Well, damn. I can’t really blame him. You’re super hot. But you’ve got no chance in the swimwear department.” With that she released the hooks on her bra and flashed me her tits. “It’s bikini time for me baby.”

Having padding instead of my own curves left me with few options. I ended up going with a lady’s surf suit. It was one of the only options that would keep my padding from showing. I only hoped all the body-hugging contours would spark Steven’s interest.

That was not the case. Sam had enough skin showing that Steven couldn’t even turn his head in my direction. Sam even asked him, “Steven, what do you think about Lilly’s suit?”

“Mmm hmm,” was the best she could get out of him.

Sam produced a shit eating grin when she caught my eye. And I noted she put an extra wiggle in her walk when she turned back to the dressing room. I rolled my eyes and followed.

“We’re all tied up,” she announced. “It all comes down to our party clothes.” I took a moment to observe her shimmy out of the navy blue bikini bottoms. She spotted me in the mirror and winked as the top of the bikini followed the bottoms. The tips of her nipples were erect and it wasn’t cool in the changing room. “You going to get dressed? Or are you just going to ogle me all day?”

“Right! Sorry.” It took me longer to get out of the surf suit because there was more material and it liked to cling. So, Sam was ready to go before I even put anything back on for our final showcase.

“How about we do this one different? We’ll go out one at a time. Then we see which one he talks about more.” Sam had her hands on her hips. She wore a short black skirt with a lace tank. The tank top only thickened in strategic places so you couldn’t make out nipples, but that’s about all it did.

I shrugged. “It’s your game and your boyfriend.” With a smirk and a nod, Sam accepted this as permission and went out to Steven.

Unlike Sam, I decided to go with a bold color. In my opinion, black is sexy, but tends to come off as goth. So instead, I went with red. Before I had even looked for clothe,s I had spied some strappy red heels. So, I based my entire outfit around them.

I managed to find a red mini skirt, which just barely concealed my padding. It was made of a faux leather and had a wet look to it. Thankfully nearby was a tube top made out of the same material with a metal zipper in the front.

Checking out myself in the mirror made me have second thoughts about walking out. As I moved in the heels, I was the embodiment of sex. I was mesmerized by this fem fatale staring back at me.

“Lil! You almost done?” Sam’s voice interrupted me.

“Coming,” I called back. I proceeded to click my way out wearing those sky-high stilettos.

When Sam saw me, her jaw dropped. I had partially interrupted the end of her kissing Steven. I guess her part of the show went well.

As for Steven, he dropped his phone. He must have been playing with it while we were changing and was probably forgotten when Sam and he kissed. The part I liked was that he didn’t even seem to notice he had dropped it.

Sam nudged him and pointed down. “Steven you dropped your phone.”

We all looked down. That’s when Sam and I noticed Steven’s tent in his jeans. As he retrieved his phone, Sam and my eyes met. We were trying to figure out who caused the new high score. Then Steven attempted to speak.

“Wow, Lilly. You are in clothes. I mean, of course you’re in clothes. You are nice and hot!” He adjusted himself then noticed for the first time the state he was in and sat down in a hurry, dropping his phone once again in the process.

I couldn’t tell what Sam was thinking. As she walked passed me, she whispered, “Shoes. You had to wear shoes.” That made me glance at her feet and see that she hadn’t picked out shoes for her outfit.

I pointed to where Sam had gone to Steven. “I think I’m going to change back now.”

He nodded vigorously. “Yes! Good! You are good.”

Having someone lose mental control was very new to me. I took several looks back as I made my way to where Sam and I were changing. I only hoped Steven was okay.

As I stepped into the dressing room, I immediately began apologizing. “I’m sorry Sam I-”

She pinned me to the door and her lips crushed mine. Her hands snaked around and cupped my backside. She then ground herself against me.

A squeak of surprise escaped from me into her mouth. When we broke for air, I managed to ask, “Sam what?”

She growled, “You’re so fucking hot.” That’s when one of her hands snaked up between my thighs and rubbed against my tucked penis.

I groaned. With all my strength I pushed her away just enough so I could think. “Sam, we can’t. You have a boyfriend.”

She shut her eyes and took a calming breath. “You’re right. You’re right,” she repeated a couple more times like a mantra.

I took that opportunity to get back into the clothes I came to the mall in. I thought about getting some of the clothing I had tried on, but decided it might not be safe.

The rest of that evening things felt strained. Steven wouldn’t look me in the eye and Sam seemed to always be deep in thought. When I made my goodbyes, I was glad to remove myself from all that tension.

Little did I know, Sam used our fashion show to escalate a fight and break up with Steven. I’m not certain that was her plan the whole time. But I must admit she didn’t appear too broken up about the whole thing.

Then the next day at school, after years of avoiding one another, she walked straight up to me during lunch. “Henry, let’s start dating.” There was nothing gradual about this. It was as if she wanted to make up for lost time. But that’s essentially how Sam and I started going out officially.


	29. All Good Times

Euphoria is a great word to describe this time of my life. Sam and I were inseparable. I even met Sam’s dad for the first time as Henry. Since Sam had started dating, the “no boys” rule had become more tolerable. And when we wanted additional privacy from her dad, I just went over as Lilly.

However, Sam’s mom would become more suspicious. As open as she was to accept people with gender issues, I think she saw me as gay. So having Henry interested in Sam and also having Lilly around made her confused.

Dr. Sanchez said that I had one sexual orientation, but dual gender identities. I think it was okay for mom since I liked girls, I had a penis, so this might all lead to grandchildren down the line. Speaking of which, mom and Eric started talking about getting married. They joked that if there was an imbalance between the groomsmen and the bridesmaids that I could go either way to even the numbers out. That would be an interesting experience, but that was still a ways off.

In the meantime, Sam and I were making up for lost intimacy time. We seemed to always be kissing and petting. I think we spent a small fortune at the theaters and I couldn’t recall any of the movies we watched. Time went by in a blur.

As a gift for my birthday, Sam gave me a personalized naughty comic. I’d share the story, but there really was none. It just featured Sam doing all kinds of sexual acts to the reader. It was interspersed with filthy dialogue. And for a boy turning seventeen in the middle of his junior year, I couldn’t think of a better present. Though she showed me how wrong I was that evening.

That day mom, Eric, Sam, and I went to a pizza parlor. Afterwards, we went back home for cake and gifts. Sam had given me the comic earlier in the day so the decoy present was a Victorion t-shirt, which I thought was still pretty awesome. Mom and Eric gave me a TV for my room along with a Blu-ray player.

I was in the midst of gushing over the specs when I saw Eric exchange a funny look with mom. I turned to them and asked, “What’s up?”

Mom bit her lip. “We sort of have a gift for Lilly as well.”

“Oh!” I was unsure how to react. I still split a good deal of time working with mom as Lilly so we’ve gotten to share quite a lot while we worked. “Should I?” I made a head nod to my room suggesting I get changed.

Mom shook her head and chuckled. “That would be silly…” Yet she didn’t move to hand me any new gift.

“How about you give it to her when you see her next?” I didn’t know what else to offer.

Mom appeared relieved. “Sounds good.”

Sam though was curious. She elbowed me. “Go change! I am dying to know what it is.”

I leaned back and pouted. “What? You don’t like me around?”

“Nope,” Sam quipped. She then leaned in and kissed me on the nose.

“Fine! I’m leaving.” With that I went to my room to change. While I threw on clothes, it felt odd that everyone in this house was more comfortable treating Lilly as a second person. However, I couldn’t really blame them. I found myself often thinking differently between my two personas.

Next thing I knew I was Lilly walking out in jeans and a rather plain top. There was a small amount of embellishment here and there, but it was nothing too fancy. I sat back down next to Sam.

Sam threw her arms around me. “Lilly, I missed you! That awful brother of yours smells funny, but you always smell so nice.” I opened my mouth to defend myself, but I had put on some perfume before walking out.

“Perhaps we need to get him cologne?” I ventured.

Sam tapped me on the nose. “That’s a good idea.”

I sighed, then turned to mom and Eric. Mom was beaming. “Now Lil, I’ve watched you grow into a beautiful woman these last few years.” I spotted her eyes become watery, which made me react in kind.

“I couldn’t have done any of it without you mom,” I blubbered.

Mom cleared her throat and looked down. “As you know I wasn’t too keen on all of this when it started. But I think that this has let us become closer than ever.” She sniffed and grabbed a face tissue to wipe her nose. “I always wanted a daughter. And now I can say I have one.”

My vision blurred hearing her words. I can only imagine the stress I must have caused. But she was right, we shared so much while we worked. She had told me about her teenager days with all the awkward blunders that entailed. But most important, I learned about my father, the man I never really knew. By the time I cleared my vision from the tears, Eric was handing me a small box. Sam and I both needed to grab some tissues.

Opening it I gasped. It was a necklace and earring set with the most gorgeous blue topaz stones. Since we worked with fashion day in and day out, we would often drift into conversations about accessories. We even had a game where we described our absolute perfect jewelry set. And I was now staring at mine.

It was white gold. Each of the gems hung like teardrops in their settings. Turning the pendant in my hand I spotted an engraving on the back. The letters “LM” were etched into the surface of the gold. Lilly Miller, they were my initials.

I got to my feet and ran to hug mom. “It’s beautiful mom! I can’t believe you got all the details right.”

She rocked me in her arms. “It was actually Eric’s idea. I knew all the details, he just happened to overhear us one day.”

My head shot to Eric, who had a cheesy smile plastered to his face. I moved and crushed him in a fierce hug. I then said the only thing I could think of in the moment. “You are the perfect man for my mom. Thank you.” Then we all cried for a few minutes.

Wearing my new bling, I soon wanted to set up the TV and player in my room. Eric offered to help, so I let him carry the TV, which wasn’t heavy, just large and awkward. However, I wanted to be the one to hook it up.

After getting it in place, Eric snapped his fingers. “I totally forgot the other gift I had for you.” He ran to the bedroom he now shared with mom. Sam and I just glanced at one another. He soon returned holding a movie. “Here! I figured you would need something to watch.” Turned out it was the Victorion movie we had gone to see that very first time we met.

I was back to tears and hugging Eric. Like I said, I react different as Lilly and I was super emotional at the moment.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” Eric joked while patting my back.

“No, it’s just the first time we bonded,” I sniffed.

“Oh, yeah.” He then did the Victorion salute and walked out the door.

It didn’t take too long for Sam and I to have everything wired and the opening credits of the movie fill the screen. Mom even popped her head in with some popcorn. She and Eric were watching a movie out in the living room, so figured Sam and I would like some for our film.

As a bonus treat, Sam managed to get her parents to agree to let her sleep over. That was because the very next day we were going to do a whole ton of tourist type stuff and needed to start early. Eric had recently learned that none of us had checked out local attractions, like the jellybean factory or the chocolatier artisans, or several museums in our area. So as an extra birthday present, we had a whole day of touring to do. Eric referred to it as a super staycation. We all argued that’s not how staycations worked, but he wouldn’t hear any of it and planned it all for us. Honestly, it did sound kind of interesting.

We were halfway through the movie when Sam got up to use the restroom. When she returned, she was very careful to close my bedroom door quietly. When I gave her a questioning raise of one of my eyebrows, she whispered, “The adults are asleep.” I nodded, then went back to watching.

This is when she sprung her surprise. I was still dressed as Lilly and so was still tucked down there. Sam must have been concerned, since her hand went to my thigh and slowly inched its way to my crotch.

When she found it smooth, she asked in a husky voice, “Doesn’t that hurt?”

I was not playing dumb. I had been fixated on the movie. But now my attention had stopped its focus on the film. I was engrossed in Sam’s hand and its progress. “It doesn’t bother me.” It was odd hearing how frightened my voice sounded to my own ears.

“Well, then maybe we can check on it.” Her nimble fingers went to the fasteners of my jeans. She moved in front of me to make the job simpler. I watched as her silhouette was backlit by the television.

She had me lift my hips as she pulled the jeans down and off. I hissed, “What if someone comes in and finds us?”

“Where’s your night gowns?” I gave her directions and she fetched one. “Put this on. It’s easier to pull down in a hurry.” I followed her instructions.

With the only light coming from the movie it was hard to see, but I swear Sam licked her lips when she glimpsed me in the poor light in my bra and panties. Once dressed I sat back down. I was feeling very vulnerable at the moment, so said as much.

Sam took this as a call for her to get into her own pajamas. Unlike me, she stripped down to just her panties exposing her full breasts in the flickering light cascading from the screen. My mouth hung open as she languidly stretched, putting her curves on full display before dropping her gown into place.

However, she was not done yet. On her knees she positioned herself before me. “I need to check on our friend.” I shivered as her hands glided up my inner thighs towards my panties.

Having this much erotic stimulation was too much for me. As soon as Sam peeled back the panties my hardened member sprung free, creating a significant tent under my gown.

“What’s this?” she asked in mock surprise. Lifting the fabric, she gave herself an unobstructed view of my dick. “My, my, I think it’s gotten bigger since I’ve seen it last.”

I wanted to reply that it had grown since that early incident. In fact, the last time I measured, it was nine inches in length when aroused. This may not be the largest penis by any means, but from what I can tell through the internet it’s above average. I would have shared this with Sam, if it hadn’t been for her tongue.

The tip of that devilish muscle ran the length of my shaft. It left a line of wetness as it traveled. Soon her lips joined in. At times they kissed, at others they explored. Eventually she worked her way back up to the head of my cock where a drop of precum was forming. With a quick dart, she licked it up.

The light was poor, but it was sufficient to illuminate her blue eyes which bore into mine. Her lids closed as she lowered her mouth on me, engulfing whatever she could. Between my size and her inexperience, she didn’t get too far down. So, she wrapped a hand around the base of me to stroke me.

Sam had managed to bob up and down several times when the orgasm hit. I wanted to warn her or moan in ecstasy, but I was afraid of waking up mom or Eric. Sam though seemed up for the challenge. As the spasms wracked my body, she continued to keep her mouth in place, swallowing all she could.

It felt like it lasted for minutes, but was most likely a fraction of the time. She finally sat back, gasping for air. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. When she spotted some of the ejaculant she had missed on my prick, her head dove back in and licked it off. I was too weak and stunned to keep her away from my overly sensitive organ, but she could tell from my whimpers I had enough.

It took a few minutes to regain my composure and get myself situated back into my panties. This wasn’t easy since Sam was watching me with great interest. By the time I was sitting back down, the movie was reaching its climax.

We both jumped as my door opened. It was mom. “Is the movie almost over?”

“Yeah,” we replied in unison.

“Good, you two shouldn’t stay up too much longer. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Sam, we set up a cot in the sewing room for you when you’re ready for bed.” There was no way she was going to let us sleep in the same room.

“Thank you, Ms. Miller,” Sam responded in her sweet innocent voice. It was so contrary to what she had just done moments ago. Thankfully, mom didn’t register that we were already in pajamas, which may have implied we had been up to something.

Soon the credits rolled and it was time for bed. Sam leaned in and kissed me deep. When our tongues met, I thought I could taste something slightly salty. When our lips parted, she whispered, “Night babe.”

“Night Durbs.” This was my way of being clever. When she cocked her head to one side in confusion, I explained, “You know, cause you move fast like Durby?” Her erotic comic had brought back old memories.

She smiled at that. “Well, then perhaps this Durbs needs to learn the value of taking things slow.” She then winked, spun on one heel, snatched up her overnight bag and sauntered out of my room. I just hoped I could give her a gift as nice when her birthday came around.


	30. Wedding Bliss

Having been married once before, mom didn’t really want to go through another big ceremony. Eric was fine with that since his own parents were divorced and wanted to avoid putting them in the same room together given how their own marriage broke up.

As far as family went, my grandparents on my mom’s side had passed away fairly early in mom’s life. She had a grandmother at the time who had become her legal guardian, but she died when mom turned had twenty.

As for my biological father’s side of the family, they were opposed to my dad marrying mom at the time. And then when the accident took him, what little contact we had was severed. This left our side of the aisle with very little in the way of immediate family.

Mom never really had any close girlfriends. That meant Sam became one of the most regular females around mom who wasn’t a customer. Plus dating me kind of meant mom was sweet on Sam, so she asked her to be the maid of honor.

Eric had a sister out in the southwest in Arizona, but she didn’t have the funds to travel. Combined with Eric having moved away from his own home town for work meant there wasn’t even a cousin nearby. So, the plan was for me to be his best man and Sam would act as the maid of honor. Then Eric got a call.

“Hello?” Eric stepped to one side with his phone to his ear.

Sam and I were in the midst of determining the details of the maid of honor dress. We had already finished mom’s bridal gown, “I think if we add some lace here and here, it’ll add some definition to the bodice,” I pointed on the sample we created.

“Are you serious? That’s awesome!” Eric was now pumping a fist. “Yeah, yeah, that’ll be just like old times!” He was checking a calendar we were using for all the wedding plans. “If you come in Monday that’ll be perfect.” He did a tiny dance as he listened to the other line. “Then you know what they say? Same time-” I assume the other person on the end finished the rest of the line because he paused then closed the call with, “Cool, I’ll see you then.” He opened his arms and exclaimed to mom, “Remember my buddies Mike and Roger? The ones I asked to be in my wedding party?” 

Mom’s brow creased in concentration, “Not really,” she admitted.

“They said no at first because of something with the business they both run.” Eric was very animated with his hands.

“Oh! Those guys.” Recognition spread across her face. “Yes. Why? What’s up?”

“They’re now coming! They were my best friends through high school and even college before I moved and they went in business together. Plans changed and they are now free to come.” Again Eric made the fist pump. “They even agreed to fight over who will be my best man.”

Both mom and Sam glanced between me and Eric. It took a second for this to process with him. When it did, his face fell and mouth fell open. I felt the sinking sensation in my stomach at that point. We had even had a moment where Eric confessed that we were both important to him and he wanted to have a day where we could be on either side of him. So, he had asked if I could be his best man.

“Henry, I didn’t think. I, can call them back-” He lifted his phone to find their number.

“No, Eric.” I surprised everyone including myself when I responded. “I’ll still be there. Besides, technically you did ask them first from the sound of it.”

“That’s honorable Henry, but I gave you that privilege,” Eric’s protest was weak.

I looked to mom, but she appeared to be close to tears. No matter how we resolved this, someone was going to be hurt. Then Sam piped in, “Why doesn’t Lilly become a bridesmaid?” We all turned to her. “You said you have two buddies coming. One could be the best man and the other would be a groomsman. And if you had me and Lilly that would even things out.”

I looked to mom for her reaction. To my shock, she wasn’t throwing this suggestion away. Instead, she spoke her thoughts out loud. “We’d probably need to keep Sam as my maid of honor since she would need to be a witness and sign the marriage license to make it official. Lilly doesn’t really have any sort of legal status.”

Turning to Eric, he just shrugged. “It’s up to you guys. I’ll stop my buddies from trying to horn in on the groom position. Or we can just have three groomsmen.”

“And only one bridesmaid?” Sam retorted. “I don’t think so buster. Ms. Miller deserves all the lady power behind her to offset the testosterone in the building.” I didn’t want to point out the obvious problem in this statement, so kept my mouth shut.

“Yeah, I think it’ll work,” mom muttered to herself. Facing me, she said, “Hen, I don’t want to sound mean or anything, but I’d kind of prefer a daughter for this.”

When I had spoken to Dr. Sanchez about my mother’s upcoming nuptials, she framed it this way. “You want to be a part of this for your mom. Well, by being Eric’s best man you are there for her just through him.” I initially wanted to give her away like the father of the bride. But Dr. Sanchez convinced me that, “A father’s role represents a woman’s past. You are her present and future, so you should be standing with her not giving her away.” Sam’s suggestion would now put me even closer to standing with mom.

The other three were watching me with great intensity to see my reaction. I looked down at the sample dress we were making for Sam. “I think we’ll need more material if we have to make another one of these.” And just like that, the tension in the room was gone. It also explained how I became a bridesmaid.

They had planned the wedding during spring break. This turned out to be a happy accident, since I needed to spend all the time as Lilly with Eric’s friends around. Sam didn’t seem to mind this situation, however I found it a bit uncomfortable. Mike and Roger were still single. And since I was seventeen and Sam was almost seventeen at the end of the school year, they had no problems flirting with us.

It was actually kind of surprising that I hadn’t yet gotten into a scenario where I was being hit on. Now it was happening on a very regular basis. Fortunately, they were gentlemen enough not to act on their advances, but the constant attention was unnerving.

“Man, Red, if we had girls like you in high school, I’d have probably become a teacher,” Mike quipped.

“Forget teaching,” added Roger, “I’d have just kept flunking and stayed in school.”

They had taken to calling me Red due to my hair color. I had been dying it for years, so it was sort of my natural look. As for responding to things like this, I’d primarily just turn a bright shade of crimson. Thinking about it, maybe that also had to do with their nickname for me.

Sam, on the other hand, got the name Daggers. This had to do with her quick responses to the guys one-liners.

Roger did a variation of his flunking school line when he met her. “I’d definitely flunk my classes to stay in school if you were there.”

She looked him over, “I’m surprised you didn’t. You look dumb enough.”

“Aww!” yelled Mike, seeing his buddy torn down. “She got you dead to rights, son!”

She addressed Mike, “And you’re the genius that went in business with him?”

“Damn! This girl is Daggers!” Roger proclaimed. “She’ll cut you with that tongue. We need to stick to safe girls like Red.”

“Speaking of which, Red needs to come with me. Heather needs us.” Mom had insisted that Sam call her by her first name. It still sounded weird when she did. As she dragged me away, she called back over one shoulder, “I’ll leave you two to practice. I’m sure between the two of you there’s a slim chance you can come up with a line that sounds halfway decent.”

“Hey!” they cried in defense.

“Sorry, is half too high of a bar? Let’s go for a fourth.” That took us to the door and out of the room.

“How do you come up with those?” I whispered.

“Pretty simple. I don’t use a penis to think with.” When she saw me wince, she softened. “Sorry, guess I’m still in Daggers mode. Guys typically want one thing from pretty girls and it’s usually not tips on fashion.”

“Sex?” I asked knowing the answer but needing to have it said to make sure I was right.

“Yeah. The problem is no matter what you say, they’ll still think you’re coming on to them. Even when you aren’t.” Sam led me to her car. We had both gotten our learner’s permit, but her parents could afford to get her a car. For short trips, she cheated by not having a licensed driver in the car with her. Mom had a bit more time for us to learn, so Sam’s car was usually parked at our house.

“But you insulted them?” I was trying to grasp Sam’s reasoning.

“True, but they might just think I’m playing hard to get and therefore I’m a challenge.” This last word she put in air quotes. We climbed into the car as she started it up.

I let her words sink in. “Then how does insulting them help you?” By my calculations, if she was a more interesting challenge, it would do the opposite of what she was aiming to accomplish.

“Well, it’s more for me to keep thinking clearly about the situation.” She checked her mirrors before pulling out. “If I can stay aware of my surroundings then I can keep safe.”

“I still don’t see how that helps anything.” I brushed a handful of hair away from my face so I could see her better.

Sam tapped on the steering wheel in time with the music from the car. “I found when guys are trying to overcome a challenge, they will look at whatever is on their mind.”

“And that’s a good thing?” I could recall each guy checking out my legs.

“Yeah. If they’re looking at parts of your body then they see something they like.” Sam made a turn. “If they’re moving their eyes between you and somewhere else, they’re trying to guide you some place. And if they start moving around, they’re definitely trying to make a move. And that’s just when the girl is on guard.” We were pulling into a parking lot. It was the fabric store mom and I frequented.

One of the clerks who was tending the outside display looked up, smiled, and waved. “Hi miss Lilly,” she called.

I waved back. “Hi, Ms. Castro. Those flowers are gorgeous.” She was arranging some plastic flowers in a bin.

“They’re on sale. You should buy some.” That was just like her. 

I smiled, “Maybe I will.” She knew I had a weak spot for anything floral. I turned back to Sam to continue our conversation.

“I think women primarily try to find emotional weak points rather than asserting dominance like men.” Sam was unbuckling.

“What?” I followed her lead getting out of the car. “Where is all this coming from?”

She paused in the parking lot. “I’ve been working off and on with my parents lead marketing person. And she has been telling me that if I want to market to someone, I’ll need to know how to read them.”

“And you got all that from my quick exchange with Ms. Castro?” This side of Sam was kind of scary.

She moved her hand in a wave like motion. “There are subtle levels to it. For instance, Ms. Castro knows you like flowers. This is something she found out about in previous conversations. It’s something you emotionally respond to. So she will nudge you in that direction.”

This was a lot to take in as we entered the store and began looking for mom. We were up to the decorating phase of the event. Sure, it wasn’t going to be a big event, but some effort needed to be put in for the occasion. We soon found her and joined the hunt in looking for materials. As it turned out, I needed some of those flowers from out front.

The wedding was a modest affair. We had it in the back room of a restaurant. There were a number of couples that were casual friends with mom and Eric, I had never met, in attendance. Eric had invited a number of co-workers, while mom extended an invitation to a number of her favorite clients. Sam’s parents were there and it was fortunate that her dad didn’t connect mom with Henry the boy. It had been quite some time since that first encounter when mom mentioned me as her son. Since then, he only interacted with her as Lilly’s mom, so it kind of worked out.

Mr. Morgan did ask, “I mean no offense Lady Lilly, but why is Samantha your mother’s maid of honor?” I struggled to find an answer and was fortunately called away. For the rest of the evening, I attempted to avoid getting in deep conversations with Mr. Morgan.

Each of the tables were color coordinated to a different flower. We managed to make the overall theme as a garden. Mom liked the symbolism of growth and life. We even created a heart out of imitation grape vines, which was nice since they were going to have a honeymoon in Napa Valley, which is famous for its vineyards.

Sam and I kept getting asked about where we bought our bridesmaids dresses. After telling them that they were made by mom and I, there was interest by many of the ladies to come calling once mom got back.

I wasn’t planning on crying at any point during the ceremony, but no one told Lilly. Tears of joy were streaming down my face as the couple exchanged vows. I literally ran for my purse when it was over for some tissues. When Sam pointed out I looked a lot like a racoon, we went to the ladies’ room to fix my makeup.

Being at a restaurant already meant we could also have the reception at the same place. The room was large enough and our party small enough to have one side set up with tables while the other had the ceremony. Once we were seated, the staff came and cleared away chairs in the ceremony section to turn it into a dance floor.

The one downside was that I was paired with Roger while Sam sat next to Mike. So, we couldn’t have a private conversation save for the times we went to the bathroom.

Officially, there was only one best man and maid of honor, but we gave our speeches in pairs. Mike and Roger were like a comedy duo while Sam and I focused on the sentimental. We then dug in to a terrific meal.

After the first dance, Roger jumped to his feet and held out his hand. “Come on Red. Let’s put those legs of yours to work.”

I wanted to say no, but Sam was being dragged by Mike out on the floor. I followed unsure as to what I was getting myself into. For starters, I didn’t know where to put my hands. Thankfully, I just copied a number of women around me for examples and followed suit. The problem was it was a slow song, so Roger held me closer than I’d prefer.

Turns out, I didn’t mind it all that much. And when it got to the faster numbers, I even had a chance to dance with Sam. Being young as we were, we soon outpaced Mike and Roger, though they kept eyeing us while sipping on their drinks.

The celebration was overwhelming. I was even allowed to have a glass of wine which made my head buzz. That’s probably why I wasn’t on guard near the end of the night.

“Want to dance?” Mike startled me when he got close to my ear from behind.

After a short squeal, I calmed down. “Sure.” It was another slow song.

Placing my hand in his and my other on his shoulder, he guided me by the waist through the steps. My energy was finally dropping off, so I laid my head on his shoulder. He said, “You look amazing tonight, Red.”

“Thanks.” I yawned breaking up my reply. “Sorry, you clean up pretty good yourself.”

He then leaned in and captured my lips. They had turned down the lights and had on something like a mirror ball. His mouth was hard and demanding. His whiskers rasped across my face. It was hard to see with all the couples dancing close together. I then felt it.

His member was stiff and insistent pressed against my belly like it was. And his hand on my waist slipped lower to cup my backside. He kneaded the silicone padding as he simultaneously pressed me into him. The steps he took made it feel like he was grinding into me.

When the song ended, I excused myself to go to the restroom. Unlike previous times, I didn’t get Sam to join me. I locked myself into a stall. And when I was certain I was alone, I began crying in earnest.

I already had enough confusion in my life. Sometimes I was a boy, while other times I was a girl. Did I want to add sexual orientation to the mix? I mean, the Lilly side of me did enjoy the attention and being attractive, but was that what I wanted? I didn’t get the chance to figure that out when the door swung open.

For whatever reason, I was now terrified. Mike had cornered me and I was going to be violated. I froze sitting on a toilet trying not to make a sound.

Then Sam’s voice broke the silence. “Lilly? You in here?”

I flew out of the stall and practically tackled her. My arms wrapped tight around her as I sobbed. She just held me and let me vent. I managed to relate parts of what happened between sobs.

She nodded, “Yeah, I think I glimpsed the tail end of what happened. I was across the room so couldn’t be sure. When I got away from the conversation I was having, you were nowhere to be found.”

“I only want you,” I blurted. I believe I was afraid this might turn into a whole other Erica thing. I didn’t want Sam and I to break up for any reason.

She grabbed my face in both her hands and stated in calm small words, “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

She cleaned me up once more, but made sure to mother me the rest of the night. By the time mom and Eric drove away to start their honeymoon, it was a shock when Mrs. Morgan suggested that Sam spend the night over at my place. I guess she saw her daughter taking care of me emotionally.

“Thank you, Mrs. Morgan.” I gave her a hug.

“Remember, if you need anything Lilly my dear, we’re just a call away,” Mr. Morgan boomed from behind. He gave Sam and I each a one-armed hug as he came to join his wife. “By the way. All of you ladies look absolutely breathtaking this evening.”

The contrast of Mr. Morgan’s hug and Mike’s embrace was like night and day. The intentions behind each couldn’t be any more different. I reveled in the fatherly contact from Sam’s dad, since it was something not too common from my own life. Where Mike’s touch was dangerous.

It was fortunate that Mike and Roger found a couple of single ladies that had been invited. We weren’t forced to have any more contact with them. As a result, Sam and I found ourselves alone at my house. Mike and Roger were staying at a hotel so didn’t even need to come around.

I think if I were in the right head space, we would have had sex that night. As it was, Sam held me until I went to sleep. It’s one of my biggest regrets and one of the reasons why I’ll always have a place in my heart for Samantha Morgan. For better or worse.


	31. Parting

I kick myself thinking back on that spring break. We had the house to ourselves, but all I could do was dwell on the kiss with Mike. And it wasn’t for a lack of trying on Sam’s part. She’d try to be super affectionate, but it felt as though I was in a daze.

After the first night, Sam had to go back home. But she’d stop by as soon as she could get away. Each time she subtly moved closer, I’d move away. I didn’t trust anything about my reactions. And this frustrated her to no end. It was on the last day before mom and Eric returned that she cornered me. I was alternating between Henry and Lilly to see if that gave me any clarity. I was on a Lilly day at the time.

“Lil, can you stop pacing for just a sec?” Sam took hold of my shoulders. I hadn’t realized I was walking back and forth.

“I just need to think. This helps.” I tried to brush her hands away but she held fast.

“You are not gay.” She bore into me with her gaze. 

“But I liked parts of the kiss,” I protested. The first few days, Sam had no response for this comment. Today was different.

She nodded. “I’ve been thinking about that. I think you just really liked being attractive.”

I cocked my head to one side. “What do you mean?”

Her lips formed a sly smirk. “I think it’d be better if I showed you.” Her hands went slack and released their grasp. Although she kept one hand touching me ever so lightly. The tips of her fingers glided across me as she circled me. As she came in contact with parts of me, she’d comment, “I like how long your back is. Especially when it is topped with this gorgeous mane of hair. But this sweet ass of yours is where my mind goes.” She stepped around to my front. “And look at these lips. They’re so kissable.” She leaned in and demonstrated her point as her palms cupped my breasts. 

“Uh, Sam? That’s-” I could sense a flush come over me.

“Your breasts! I know! And they are just so sexy.” She leaned in and whispered as her hands went lower. “But do you know what I absolutely love?” She was now at the bottom hem of my skirt and pulling it up.

My thoughts had scattered to the wind. I could not think of an answer so I replied, “What?”

As she pulled down my various shapewear and undergarments, she lowered herself to the ground. Once she was on her knees, she stared up the length of my body at me. She had managed to free my dick which was hard and eager for attention. “This!” she proclaimed as she fell on it with a fury.

I was left speechless as she licked, sucked, kissed, and moaned over my rigid flesh with great enthusiasm. I couldn’t last long so moaned as I got close. “Sam!”

Pleasure gripped me as I spilled myself into her mouth. She swallowed every last drop and continued punishing me with her affections. However, I was too sensitive and backed away putting distance between us. Undeterred, she crawled after me licking her lips and swaying her backside. “Come here, you tasty treat.”

My pulse raced. I was thrilled by her attention, but also frightened. She was on the hunt for something I was not sure I could offer. I continued to back away which was hard with so many undergarments pulled down to my knees. I tripped and fell back on the couch. Sam took that opportunity to pounce.

“Give it to me, Lilly. I want that sweet nectar,” she cooed. Her hands grasped and caressed driving me witless. Once again, her mouth went to work on my privates.

I made feeble attempts to get away, but the sensations were too great. As I went still, she pushed me deeper into her tight wet orifice. She even gagged as I hit the back of her throat. I was concerned by the sound, but she had found a sort of extasy in this wanton display.

It took longer, but once again she drained me of my bodily fluids. This time she raised her head her look was wild. “You’re so fucking hot, Lilly.” And just like that something snapped in me.

My confusion was torn apart by this erotic girl hovering above me. I could feel the fear and attraction that I had experienced with Mike, but there was also the desire to return that attention.

I sat forward and crushed her mouth against mine. Our tongues fenced as we opened ourselves. I could taste a salty tang from my seed and it drove me to new heights.

I’m not exactly sure how we did it, but we made it to my room and onto the bed. I had kicked off my remaining padding so I could feel the cool air on my genitals under the skirt. Problem was, after two times in quick succession, I was in no state to make love to Sam.

“Lilly! Yes! I want you so bad!” At this point, Sam was touching herself just as much as she was touching me. And that’s what gave me an idea.

Diving below her skirt I took a hold of her panties and peeled them away from her body. They clung at the gusset because of how wet she had made them. The rich scent of her desire filled my nostrils as I parted her legs and drew near.

Her feminine folds glistened with wet anticipation. I wanted to run my fingers through her dark thatch of pubic hair that framed her lower lips. But she was clutching and pulling at the bedding in a feverish frenzy.

“Please! Please! I… just need… please!” Her own vocabulary had left her. I lowered my head and pressed my mouth to her core. This set off a chain reaction. “Oh fuck!” she gasped as she grabbed the back of my head and pressed me into her sex.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she shoved her pelvis onto my face preventing any words from escaping. She was now rubbing herself against me trying to create friction. I decided to experiment with my tongue and tasted her. The flavor made me think of the Earth. It’s most primal urges made manifest in this slick life-giving opening.

I sucked the outer lips into my mouth as I continued my exploration. Her entrance was coated in the intense fluid. But I traveled up and found a small nub tucked away between the top portion of her folds. When I touched this, her cries hit a high note as her legs clamped around my skull and she convulsed. When the contractions ended, she went limp and pliable.

Tearing my head free, I took some deep breaths since I was getting a little dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Peering down, Sam’s eyes were shut and her hair fanned out beneath her forming a halo of dark strands. My heart was filled to bursting with satisfaction that I could bring her to this state.

As I watched she cracked one eye open. “Hi,” she said in a weak voice.

“Hi.” Even though I was dressed as Lilly, I slipped into my Henry voice. “I think you did a great job.”

“I did? That’s good.” She was sleepy and her words ran together a bit. After a moment she asked, “What was I good at?”

I chuckled. I couldn’t help how cute she was being. “You showed me I wasn’t gay.”

She blinked. “Well, you kind of are.” With that she reached out and squeezed one of my breasts.

I wanted to say something smart and witty, but the sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway made me bolt upright. “Sam! Someone’s here!” I found my undergarments and started shimmying into them. I even managed to kick Sam her panties.

When she retrieved them, she said, “Ew, they’re all wet.”

“Then use some of mine. Third drawer down on the left.” Later I discovered she had tucked her wet panties under my covers where I found it when I went to bed that night.

She was pulling out a pair when she said over one shoulder, “You should probably wash your face.”

Stunned, I took note of how my lips smelled. In a flash, I ducked into the bathroom and went to work on my face. Through the door, I could hear voices that sounded a lot like mom and Eric greeting Sam. Turns out they got back early.

From that point on, Sam and I grew addicted to each other’s bodies. We took every opportunity to feast on each other. At times, there were stretches that forced us apart, but these would only stoke the heat between us even more.

The months flew by. We ended our junior year, celebrated Sam’s seventeenth birthday, and began our senior year. We went through the motions of applying for college, going to the prom, and participating in various senior traditions. But all these things have since faded from my memory. It was Sam that filled my thoughts and dreams. Though this dream would come to an end when the acceptance letters started arriving.

Sam wanted to pursue her graphics skills and thanks to her work at her parents’ company, she had a great portfolio of work. I also had plenty of samples of work since I wanted to get into the arts and fashion. The thing is, I had to settle on the local state school.

“I got accepted to my first choice.” Despair tainted Sam’s mood.

“That’s amazing!” I gushed. “Why so sad then?”

She took a moment to answer. Finally, she spoke in a near whisper, “It’s out of state.” She scuffed the ground with a toe. We were taking a walk in the park.

“Oh.” The gravity of this news hit me hard. I too had gotten accepted and it was out of town. But it was just in the capital city of our state. I thought if Sam had wanted to stay near her parents, she’d attend that university with me.

Raising her head, I could see the tracks of tears running down her face. The sight broke something inside of me. “I don’t want to leave you Henry.” She had a tremble to her voice.

I had no words to sooth her, so I drew her close and just held her. Together we wept. We had spent so much of our lives centered around the other person; it was hard to think of a world in which we didn’t see one another on a regular basis.

These small slips of paper turned our once passionate encounters into grieving sessions. A dark gloom settled over us. Our graduation was not an event of joy, but a countdown to separation.

With each event, we experienced small deaths. Our graduation, Sam’s eighteenth birthday, our final summer as kids, were like tombstones we walked past. The death of our childhood, the death of our passion, the death of us as a couple, for neither of us could see how a long-distance relationship could work.

We did promise to stay in touch. It would be a slow yet inevitable releasing of one another. We consoled ourselves that with our parents living in the same town, it was possible that our paths would cross again in the future. 

At the time, it was more than a parting of ways. It was a parting of self. A splitting of souls that had found each other and made sense of this world together. We sealed our final meeting with a kiss. It held a lifetime’s worth of emotions. Sweet were her lips, but bitter were our tears.


	32. At the Hall’s End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to wonderful feedback on the now previous ending of this story, I have revised the second half to better develop Henry/Lilly’s college years and the relationships he forms. There were previously 41 chapters and now there are 58. This chapter, 32, is mostly the same as the previous version, with very minor edits on the side of grammar and sentence structure. The real changes begin in the next chapter, 33. I hope you enjoy the revised story!

Mom and Eric helped move me into my dorm room. It was on the small side, which meant it was a single occupancy. With the recent separation from Sam, I hadn’t thought how I’d fit into my new living quarters. I had automatically packed all my stuff for Henry and Lilly.

I’m sure mom or Eric would have advised against this, but they were still in the newly-wed phase. I practically had to make a lot of noise before I went anywhere in the house. Otherwise, I might find them entangled in a lovers’ embrace.

Normally, I don’t think this would have bothered me. But it served as a reminder of something I couldn’t have. Going to college was becoming a way for me to escape this miserable reality I found myself in.

My room was located on the third floor of the hall. The building had a brick façade with some nice landscaping around it. Inside the corridors, it was rather stark. The walls were a bland off-white, while the carpets were a charcoal gray. It reminded me of a hotel that hadn’t spent any money on making the space seem lived in.

The only thing of note was how wide the stairs, hallways, and windows were. In fact, the windows weren’t just wide, they were deep. You could easily sit on the interior window ledge and stretch out your legs.

As it turned out, my room was at the end of one of these long wide halls with a window at the end. The door to my room was on the left which mirrored the doorway on the right, thus framing the window.

Entering the dorm room, there wasn’t much to see. It was more or less a studio apartment. There was a sectioned off room for the bathroom and it did have a closet, which was remarkably wide, but other than that, the kitchenette sat in one corner while a bed frame filled the opposite corner.

It took several trips to bring everything in. Mom made the bed and put clothing away, while Eric and I assembled a simple desk we had picked up at Ikea. Mom was done before we were, so she took the car to go get some groceries to fill my small fridge and bare cupboards. Thankfully, she had thought to give me some old kitchenware that she was going to donate.

Once the desk was built, we set up my television and player. I didn’t have a TV stand, so we used the steamer trunk we’d brought my clothing in. And just like that, I was moved in.

I hugged both Eric and mom tight when it was time for them to go. “It’ll be so weird not to have you nearby,” I muttered into their shoulders.

“We’ll just be a call away. Besides the drive was only a couple of hours, so you’re not even that far.” Mom was quick to assure me.

After Eric helped me take the Ikea boxes to the dumpster, I watched them pull away. As a final gift, they left me mom’s old car so I could get around. I stood there watching until Eric’s car could no longer be seen. Taking a deep breath, I trudged back inside and up to my room.

Walking down the final hallway, I noticed someone sitting in the window at the end. It was a girl reading a book.

I didn’t want to disturb her so kept my head down and went to unlock my door. The girl was wearing sweat pants in black with white stripes down the legs. Her sweatshirt had the school crest on it on a heather gray material. She had a light brown hair color that appeared blonde when the light hit it just right.

I’m not sure what made me take notice or made me hyper aware of her presence. Perhaps it was just how close we were as I tried to get into my place and failing.

“Make sure you’re not using your mailbox key.” The voice was melodious and accompanied by a soft turning of a page.

“What?” I peered over my shoulder to make certain it was the girl speaking.

Without looking, she extended one finger, which was holding her book. The book’s title looked like it had something to do with human behavior. She spoke again, “If you’re having trouble with your door, it might be because you’re using your mailbox key. They look very similar.” She was fixated on her reading material. Although, from this angle, I could tell her eyes were a rich emerald green.

Switching keys, I tried again. Sure enough, the door opened without any trouble. “Thanks.” I turned and extended a hand. “I’m Henry. This is my first year.”

The girl finally lowered her book. To my relief and regret, she took my offered hand. An electric shock traveled up my arm at her touch. “Haley.” She gestured with her other hand to the door across from mine. “Looks like we’re neighbors.”

I can’t say Haley smiled, but rather she had a perpetual expression as though she knew some great secret and it was immensely satisfying. Less charitable people would say it was smug satisfaction. I found it captivating.

I was aware I was staring, so I released her hand and turned to enter my room. From behind she commented, “You’re an interesting one, Henry.”

“Excuse me?” Each time she spoke, it took me off guard.

“You kept eye contact. That’s rare in a guy.” Her book was forgotten in her lap. I felt the full weight of her appraisal of me at that moment.

“I’m sorry?” I wasn’t sure what she was looking for as an answer. “I just find your eyes striking.”

She blinked. “Well, that’s a line if ever I heard one.”

My own eyes went wide and my mouth dropped open as I turned a bright shade of pink. “That’s not-I mean you are-but I wasn’t-” I could not settle on a train of thought.

Now she did break into a full smile. It was radiant and penetrating. “Well, then for the record. Your eyes are rather becoming in their own right.”

I felt I could now double as a lobster just from the color of my skin. “Thanks, I’m-uh, just going to-you’re reading so-” I literally did not know what I was trying to say.

In her benevolence, she released me. “You better get settled in.” With that, she returned to her book, while I could hide behind my door.

As soon as it closed, I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. Thoughts of Sam had flown from my head. I thought it would be simple to stay faithful to her memory. But this girl, in a span of seconds, left my heart racing and with an erection. This was followed by a roiling sensation in my gut.

Combined with the nerves of leaving home, and my body rebelled. I soon found myself testing the facilities as I vomited. This was followed soon by tears. Growing up was hard. And what made matters worse was that I had no idea where my toothbrush was to clean out my mouth.


	33. New Guy on Campus

College turned out to be very different from what I was expecting. I was preparing for more of the same as high school, just tougher. But instead, it was an “a la carte” buffet of classes I actually was interested in. Sure, there were some general education courses I wasn’t chomping at the bit to take, but even those had options. I balanced myself out by taking at least one class related to my major, which was fashion, while I filled the rest with the required general education subjects.

For my major, I didn’t think I needed to take the most basic courses, but mom pointed out that I had to, as they were required to complete my degree. She also convinced me that it would be beneficial to learn the proper jargon I would need to understand concepts in the later courses. Thus off I went to my first fashion-related class.

Using my campus map, I traversed the winding paths until I located Vasker Hall where my class was located. Stepping into the room filled my nostrils with familiar odors. There’s a particular aroma that comes from so much stored fabric. Walk into any fabric shop and you know what I mean.

Along the back wall was a sizable array of said cloth. On the sides of the room were work stations with sewing machines. The middle of the room was dominated with what seemed to be an embroidery machine as well as several cutting machines. There was more to see but I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Are we stepping in or practicing to be a model?” The voice was sharp and thin with plenty of snark. It belonged to a young man who seemed painfully thin, but made up for it in style. Everything about his clothing felt like a deliberate choice. His collar was precise and crisp, yet his coat hung open at a rakish angle. Even the sunglasses that hung from his pocket seemed to be put there as some sort of statement.

“Hi, I’m-” I began.

“In the way? Yes, I’m aware…” He raised a hand to perhaps move me to one side, but when it was halfway to me it changed direction and touched my hair. “Oh, but you do know how to use product, so you aren’t all hopeless. Very well, I’ll adopt you.” He snapped his fingers and directed me towards one of the open work stations.

“Oh, um, okay?” Most people ignored me when I was Henry. I was used to a bit more attention as Lilly, but this was just different. “What do you mean you will adopt me?” By now we were sitting down, storing our bags in designated spaces.

“You are lost, clueless, and don’t seem properly socialized. I’m guessing your circle of friends is painfully small.” He informed me in a rather matter-of-fact manner.

I looked back at the doorway where we had our first interaction then back to him. “You got all that from the doorway?”

He scoffed, “Your response to my snark was to introduce yourself. Clearly you have problems.”

My mouth fell open.

“And the fact that you are gaping like a fish on land tells me I’m right!” He pinched my cheek for emphasis. Before I could respond to this, his eyes spotted something past me and lit up. “Fantastic! I can now introduce you to a couple more amazing people.” He waved them over.

The people in question were two girls. One had a short haircut and was on the small side. Where the man’s clothes made him stand out, she was muted and plain. She wasn’t ugly, rather, everything she wore gave her a boxy frame. Her clothing was unadorned and hung on her, hiding most if not all of her curves.

The other girl, on the other hand, was an abstract painting come to life. Her long elegant frame was decked out in a dress made from a patchwork of fabrics. Each piece did not so much clash, but add to the riot of colors and mad designs. Even her hair, which was long and lustrous, sported no less than four colors.

“This, my good sir, is the lovely Alex.” He indicated a wave towards the colorful girl. “And her companion is the dependable Reggan.” He indicated the shorter plain girl. “Ladies, this young man with the excellent hair is-” He patted me on the shoulder and stage whispered, “…go ahead and tell them your name.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. Henry. Me. That’s my name. I’m Henry.” It hadn’t dawned on me that I didn’t know the man’s name nor did he know mine.

Not missing a beat, he ordered Reggan, “And if you’d be so kind, my dear. Would you please introduce me?”

She sighed, “Max. Did you grab another random person again?”

Max rolled his eyes. “Of course I did. How else are we supposed to network? You’re unwilling and poor. Alex is… unsuited.” He took a moment speaking the last word. “Besides, he does have nice hair. Alex will agree with me on this, right Alex?”

Alex’s gaze was unique. Though directed at me, it was as if she was seeing things around me. Oddly she shifted her eyes between Reggan and me. “Yes, I think he fills out the spectrum.” With that settled, she found an empty work station nearby.

“Excellent! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go freshen up before the class begins.” Max left me sitting and Reggan standing behind.

“Sorry about that.” Reggan apologized, “He’s always been like that since high school. Frankly, I think this whole place makes him nervous. I’m Reggan, by the way.” She held out her hand to shake. Her grip was firm and strong, which was very different from any other time I shook a female’s hand.

I gave her a blank stare. As a loner, I was ill equipped for so much socializing.

Reggan blew out a breath. “So Maxwell likes to adopt people. I guess… that makes you part of our circle of friends, I guess.” She tilted her head to one side. “I mean, that’s if you want to be?”

A smile found its way to my face. “I think I’d like that,” I admitted. And with that, my world became a little less lonely.


	34. Reactions

Being responsible for my own schedule, while also feeding myself, were weights on my mind I didn’t expect. Throw in a course load of classwork and everything was compounded. Needless to say, I tended to be walking around in a constant preoccupied state of mind. This meant I was not at all prepared for Haley, my rather attractive neighbor.

“Hey baby! You’re keeping it tight.” Turning my head, I spied Haley behind me as I walked towards our dorm.

Smiling I greeted her, “Oh! Hey Haley I-” Then her words registered and I slowed my pace.

Catching up to me, she continued, “Looks like someone wants what I’m serving up?”

“Keeping what tight? And who’s serving what?” I was very confused.

Now she was crowding my personal space. Her green eyes filled with mischief and a promise of something darker filled my vision. The sweet smell of mint from her breath tickled my nose. “I’m saying…” her voice went low and husky, “…that your clothes would look good on my bedroom floor.”

I don’t think she was ready for my action. Hearing those words reminded me of my time as Lilly with Eric’s friends. Dread and fear suffused me and I froze. I guess my expression must have drastically changed since Haley’s look went from predatory to concerned in a flash.

“Oh god, Henry. Are you okay?” I was vaguely aware of her hands on my shoulders. “I’ve been trying to figure out some finer points of the mating ritual and decided to test out a theory on you. I didn’t mean to-” She gave me a small shake. “Please say something.”

With difficulty I swallowed. I was conflicted. Part of me was scared and vulnerable, but I was Henry. As Henry, that wasn’t normal. And to make matters worse, I was aroused? “I’m…okay,” I managed to say without much conviction.

“The hell you are! You look as though I put a gun against your head.” She wrapped me in a hug, attempting to console me.

Having a virtual stranger hug you is a bizarre experience. When that stranger is an attractive woman with lush curves, it’s distracting. And when you have a massive erection from the situation, it’s just embarrassing.

It took a moment or two, but eventually Haley exclaimed, “Oh!” She moved her hips to make sure. “Oh my!” Pulling away, but still at arm’s length, she glanced down then back at my eyes. “So, you did respond.” A twinkle returned to look.

Finally pulling my thoughts together, I asked, “What is all this about, Halley?”

She cocked her head to the side. “Isn’t it obvious? A social experiment. And you are quite adequate.” With that, she leaned forward and gave me a peck on the tip of my nose.

True to form, I turned beet red. Stranger or not, I found her attractive. “Adequate?” I squeaked.

“Good capillary reaction.” One of her hands reached up and turned my head from side to side, giving her a better view of my blush. Then she patted me on the cheek and moved past me into our building. “That’ll do for now.”

I was left speechless and subconsciously checked out her butt as she walked away. After she was out of sight, I rubbed my eyes trying to clear my head. To my knowledge, I had never been in such a primal state before. Is that what she was trying to cause? Did I need protection from my cute neighbor? And since when did my mind classify her in the cute category? As if volunteering an answer for this last question, my dick throbbed.

Straightening my clothes, I made furtive glances around to make sure no one saw my indiscretion. To my relief there were very few people walking around. Most were so far off and absorbed in what they were doing that I didn’t need to worry. Taking a deep inhalation, I entered my dorm. As I did, I thought to myself, at least this was the first time all day I wasn’t stressed by chores and classwork.


	35. Patterns

The first week or two, I felt overwhelmed. Having a whole semester outlined felt unmanageable. But as the weeks went by, I got into a rhythm. Even Haley’s surprise flirting experiments felt normal. Still uncomfortable, but I had to admit I was getting to like the attention. Soon a routine was established. Then came a small issue. I hadn’t worked into my schedule time to do laundry.

It was at that point I made a crucial decision. I had a lecture coming up, which was always filled with nearly a hundred students, so I could more than likely go dressed as Lilly.

Up to this point, I went everywhere as Henry. So, there I was all dressed up as Lilly, ready for class. After the lecture, I’d come back and do some laundry. I had finished locking up and was walking down the hall when Haley turned the corner heading to her place.

Crap! I should have remembered she was always lurking around ready to surprise me. Frankly, I had been dressing like Lilly for so many years it never dawned on me that consequences were a possibility outside of a relationship. But upon seeing Haley, my heart started racing. Would she recognize me?

What happened next was unexpected. She openly looked me over from head to toe and glanced back at my door. Talking to herself she said, “My, that Henry has been playing with me this whole time. And he has some very great tastes.”

As I walked through the campus, I pondered trying to figure out what she meant by that. It struck me that she thought I was my own girlfriend. And judging by her words, she thought I was hot. That was enough to add confidence to my walk and made me take note of people I passed. That was a slight mistake.

Sure enough, Lilly was attracting attention. I lost count of guys staring at my chest, my ass, and my legs. I was even invited to several parties. Girls would give me dirty looks if the guy they were with checked me out. By the time I made it to the class, I was emotionally exhausted.

I paused at the door. I didn’t want to immediately sit in the same spot as Henry had the day before. That might generate too much attention. That’s when a blonde in glasses waved me over to an empty seat next to her. Gratefully, I took the proffered desk and set my stuff down.

“Hi, I’m Karen.” She was charming in her openness.

“I’m Lilly.” I had plenty of conversations with girls my own age from working with mom, so I chatted her up with small talk. “I love your earrings.” She had on a mismatching set. One was a dolphin while the other was a unicorn.

“Oh.” She put a hand up to cover one of her ears. “I’m terrible with earrings. I’m always losing at least one. So, I just go with how I feel.”

“Like a charm bracelet,” I observed.

“Yeah? I guess it’s like that.” She put on a pensive expression. She was still on guard since she wasn’t sure whether or not I was making fun of her.

“That’s pretty cool and a handy trick.” I gestured to my own ears. I was wearing some basic colored studs. “I tend to get OCD about mine. So, if ever I lose one, I literally will tear apart my room until I find them.”

Karen nodded. “I can see that. You look pretty fashionable.” She winced as if misspoke. “I don’t mean that as an insult. You just look really polished.” Her words were quick and apologetic.

I laughed. “That’s quite alright. As it turns out, I’m here to study fashion.”

She looked around. “Then you might be in the wrong room. This is History 101.” This last she whispered.

This time I snorted. “No! I mean my major. I am here in this place for History 101.”

“Oh!” She turned red. “For a second I thought you were lost. I-” She cut herself off as the professor entered the room and the lecture soon began.

From that point on, I only attended that lecture as Lilly. Karen and I struck up a friendship. She was from a different part of the state. Her major was either going to be family psychology or musical theory. She hadn’t decided. She, in turn, introduced me to her friend Pamela.

Pam was a petite little thing with mousy brown hair and eyes to match. She was also painfully shy around people. But with repeated meetings, she opened up. Her major involved literature, since she adored reading.

But Henry was not to be left out of the friend department. Max, Reggan, and Alex absorbed him into their group after their first encounter. Most of the time, they met up at Max’s place since he was the middle ground for where they all lived. 

“So my cousin was standing there in all baggy clothes thinking she looked good! Can you imagine?” Maxwell was telling us how he knew he needed a degree in fashion.

“She was probably trying to be comfortable,” stated Reggan. She always took a functional side to how she viewed the world.

“Yes, but how is anyone comfortable if they look like a lose sack of shit?” Maxwell had, what he referred to as, a sassy disposition.

“I think if she fit inside the clothes then she is at least one part of the outfit. Perhaps it just involved more pieces she hadn’t added yet?” Most of the time, we had a hard time following what Alex was getting at.

I cut Maxwell off before he had a chance to reply. I had seen one bad exchange between Maxwell and Alex where he had been brusque and she had completely closed up. It was amazing how much Alex’s silence affected all of us. It got to the point where Maxwell apologized, even though he hadn’t attacked her. She was just sensitive.

So, I asked, “What did you do?”

It took Maxwell a moment to change gears. “Simple, I turned her little hiney right around and redressed her.” He sighed and rested his head on one hand. “And if you can believe it. She’s about to marry that guy she went on a date with. It was then and there I knew what my calling was.”

“To set up a service in which you connect two souls through the senses. Surrounding them in fabrics and colors that could meld two into one,” Alex rambled.

To his credit, Maxwell sighed wistfully and patted her on the cheek. “Absolutely love. You nailed it.” At this Alex beamed.

“Why did you choose fashion, Henry?” Reggan asked. “If you don’t mind me saying. You are rather a normal guy.”

I didn’t want to argue this point, so I said, “Well, my mom made dresses for a living. And being a single parent, she taught me the one skill she really knew. Turns out I liked it. What about you, Reggan?”

Reggan studied her hands before answering. “I don’t think clothing adequately suits me most of the time. So, I’m doing something about it.” This was a very Reggan answer.

“And what about our dear Alex?” Maxwell pressed.

Alex pursed her lips as if she hadn’t ever considered this question before. Finally, she responded with, “I think more color should be in the world.”

Retelling how Alex talked does not do her justice. You may think she’s not playing with a full deck, but her designs were often the most inspired. Her use of folds and hems at first appeared to make no sense, but as the design took shape, it somehow came together.

The initial course we took dealt with the basics of sewing, since that’s where most clothing concepts start. So, we quickly learned the types of clothes we each wanted to make.

I was the traditionalist. I focused on making the most out of what the average person felt comfortable in. As Karen would say, “A polished look.”

As I said before, Alex was a dreamer. Her designs involved bringing a fever dream to life, while at the same time making it look fun.

Maxwell was first, last, and always, about drama. He was obsessed with elegance in its extremes. This was the guy that was going to dress celebrities.

Reggan, on the other hand, was hard to pin down. Her pieces worked to hide things. The only way to describe it was that her approach was like a spy. It deceived the eye while still bringing a uniformity to the outfit. Maxwell said it best when he told her, “Darling, you are a painter who has mastered beige in all its forms.”

I think he meant this as an insult, but Reggan just thanked him and continued working. We made a good team. And we became star pupils when we had to do group projects. 

It was thanks to my new friends and one of our projects that I even picked up a part-time job. “This fabric just doesn’t drape right.” I threw up my hands in frustration one day.

Reaching out, Max touched the material I was working with. “Well, perhaps if you used the right material like a sane person you wouldn’t have this issue. Dear god, what are you trying to make with this? Curtains? From the 70’s? Just buy actual cloth, you know, the stuff made for people.”

I growled, “I can’t afford it.” I had a rather strict budget for food and essentials. I hadn’t thought about needing extra funds for classwork. I was trying to get by with remnants and bargain priced materials.

“My family owns a nearby restaurant. You can work there.” Reggan stated. There was no preamble about listening in on the conversation. She heard a problem and attempted to fix things.

“Reggan dear, I’m sure our Henry doesn’t need-” Max began.

“I’ll do it!” To be honest, even my food budget was on the thin side since I had to short something to buy the fabric. Besides, didn’t most restaurant employees get some sort of discount. For emphasis, my stomach took that moment to growl its agreement.

Reggan gave me a quick tight smile and a nod. Among the four of us, we managed to get the most done with the fewest words possible. And she was saving my life at the moment. Hearing more digestive noises from me, her smile grew larger and said, “They give discounts to their workers. It’s some delicious Italian food they serve there.”

Now it sounded as though my belly was asking for directions, given how much noise was coming from it. “You, are a jerk.” My voice was flat and emotionless. “A godsend, but a jerk.”

“Good thing I didn’t mention the fresh bread then, eh?” She was attempting not to snort.

“But you just mentioned it.” Alex observed. That set us all laughing, except for poor Alex who was still confused.

“Indeed I did,” Reggan admitted, beaming at Alex. “How about, after class, I’ll treat us all there. And Henry? I can introduce you and get you set up.” And man, she wasn’t kidding about how good their bread was!

I had quickly found myself in a very different lifestyle. I had gone from a practical loner with only one real friend, to someone with two groups of friends. It was a pattern I was settling into nicely. That is, until Haley entered my life in a much more serious way.


	36. Seduction

I was coming out of my room as Henry when I found Haley once again sitting in the window. “Hey, neighbor.” I kept my greeting cheerful and light since I never knew what to expect from her.

“I don’t see you and your girlfriend together.” It was hard to read her tone since it was said in such a matter of fact way.

“Uh, what?” How did she know about Sam? Besides, with going to different schools, I wasn’t even sure we were still a couple.

I felt the full weight of her stare as she gauged my response. Finally, she clued me in, “The redhead that comes out of your room?”

Ah, she was talking about Lilly. “Oh, that’s just my sister,” I blurted out without thinking. It was a standard response around home when the issue ever came up.

Her eyes traveled between me and my door several times. “In a single occupancy room, which only has one bed?” Her brows were raising in curiosity.

I hadn’t put those facts together in that way. My mouth opened and closed several times before I muttered, “Sorry, I got to go. We’ll talk later.” And with that I rushed down the hall.

My mind was whirling. How was I supposed to handle this? In the past, I’ve always had someone to help, but who could I tell? In the end, there was only one person that seemed to make sense.

Maxwell, for a change, stayed silent through the entire story. “Well? What do you think?” I was pacing in his room.

“Can I see that picture again?” He beckoned for my phone. I had to show him a picture of Lilly, which he studied quite intently before believing me. I pulled up the image and handed the device over. He made appreciative grunting sounds as he examined it.

“Well, Max?” I put my hands on my hips, scowling down at him.

“I can make you a lovely gown. I just can’t decide on the sleeves.” His response baffled me. After a moment, I snatched the phone away.

“I tell you my life’s story and you want to make a dress?” I was beside myself with anxiety.

He made calming motions with his hands. “Your story isn’t that unique, honey. But your girlie body is classic! Girls these days are afraid of having interesting bodies. But you, my dear, are bringing sexy back. And there’s nothing wrong with living your truth.”

“I’m happy you think so. But what do I do about my neighbor?” I kind of thought Haley was cute and I didn’t want to make her think she was dealing with a freak. Besides, with all her random flirting, she was a regular feature whenever I masturbated. Oh god, I was a freak, wasn’t I?

Max got up and got a tablet to begin work on his dress design. While loading up his software, he said, “I think you should seduce her.” He paused and raised one brow. “Unless you’re on my team? Oh, I’m such a fool. You’re here to confess your love to me.” He pressed his tablet to his chest. “Oh, honey that’s so sweet. But you’re not my type, sorry.” The last word dripped with feigned apologies.

I took a steadying breath. “Max, I did not come here to confess my love for you. I really like girls.”

“I’d say.” Maxwell turned his nose up. “You like them so much that you have the urge to be a little hottie. You do you.”

“But what should I do?” I threw my hands up in exasperation.

“I told you, seduce her.” He began using a stylus to sketch on the monitor.

“What? You were serious?” I waited for him to respond.

Eventually, he returned to our conversation after being absorbed for a while in drawing. “Yes. Do you not like her or something?”

“I do, but how does seducing her help me?” It was hard to pin down Maxwell’s logic at times.

“Sweetie, it’s quite simple. You have something very intimate to share with her. However, in order to do that, you need to have an intimate relationship with her to share things like that.” He crossed his arms, waiting for me to refute him.

“I told you about my dressing,” I countered.

“Yes… but there are extenuating circumstances.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “First, if things go sideways with me, you have not lost a potential bed buddy. Second, I’m openly gay. With that long acronym our community uses, you must have thought there is some special bond between us.” I winced at that, since that was what I had been thinking. “And third, I’m going to give you the most useful help. Reggan would just say something bland and uninteresting. And if you did get anything from Alex you could use, then you’d most likely have to be in a bunny costume or a dream to make it work. Either way, I’m the voice of reason.”

I didn’t tell him about Karen or Pam, but I ruled that out as being a bit too shocking. Oh god, was Maxwell right? Did I really want to sleep with every girl I came in contact with? Up until recently, I had lived a fairly isolated life. My world was expanding at an alarming rate. Well, I’d show him. Maybe I would ask Karen and Pam for advice. Or at least Lilly will ask. This was feeling confusing.

Leaving Maxwell’s place, I headed off to work. Reggan’s parents were really nice. Not only did they give me a waiter position right on the spot, but they allowed me to work around my school schedule. As I served food, I realized that this might be a great place to take Haley on a date. What was I thinking? I hadn’t even asked her out yet.


	37. Heart Strings

I was finally able to talk with Karen and Pam when Karen invited us to her own version of karaoke. Having an interest in music, she was a regular at the music department and had reserved a practice space for us.

The room we entered had a number of chairs, some music stands, and a shelving unit filled with books. Pam made a bee line for the shelves. Stepping into the room, I noticed something odd.

“Hey Karen? Why is it so quiet in here?” My ears were feeling funny due to the silence.

Closing the door behind us, Karen answered, “All the walls and doors are treated with acoustic paneling. It kills a lot of the sound, which sucks, but you can get really loud and not bother anybody.” She also had a rather small case with her, I was guessing it was a violin.

“Hey! There’s actually a good collection of pop music in these books,” Pam announced. “I was a little worried since I don’t know the words to most songs.”

After sitting down, Karen opened her case and pulled out a tiny stringed instrument. “And thanks to those books, I can pretty much play anything on my lovely little ukulele!” With that she strummed a chord. “Ooo, sounds like it needs some tuning. Give me a sec.”

I went and joined Pam to find some songs while Karen got set up. I started wondering just how to bring up my Haley problem with the girls. First off, I was thinking of treating Haley as if she was male. Karen could probably handle a lesbian relationship, but Pam was a bit more straight-laced and I didn’t want to shock her. After all, this was supposed to be a fun night. Sexual orientation seemed like a heavier subject for a different time. Besides, I wouldn’t actually be entering a lesbian relationship, technically.

“Lilly? Are you okay?” Pam’s voice shocked me out of my revery.

Blinking, I focused on her. “What? Oh, yeah. I was just thinking about someone.”

An odd note rang out. “A man!” exclaimed Karen. “You better start talking!”

Geez that was quick. “But our karaoke,” I hedged, waving at the room in general.

“Oh, we’ll get to that,” Karen proclaimed. “But we need to know if we’re singing love songs or men are idiots songs.”

“Oh, uh. Maybe the I’m not entirely sure he likes me songs?” I ventured.

Pam inquired, “Has he not flirted with you? In most of the romances I read, men are pretty obvious about whether or not they like a woman.”

“Oh, there’s been lots of flirting. I just don’t know if he’s serious,” I explained.

“She’s hot,” Karen chimed in. “Of course, the guy’s been flirting with her. Don’t you remember the guys that were checking her out when we walked in the building?”

Pam nodded in agreement.

“Wait. What guys?” I blurted. To be honest, I had been a bit preoccupied thinking about how to even have this conversation.

Pam popped up as if coming to a realization. “Lilly is the oblivious heroine!”

“Yep!” It was now Karen’s turn to agree.

“I am not,” I protested. I was thinking back on that old observation game I played with mom so many years ago. Although, I had to admit I was way out of practice.

“I’m sorry sweetie. You’ve just become numb to it.” Karen’s tone was mocking in its mournful quality.

“Yes, you’re pretty dumb,” Pam added. Then she slapped her hand over her mouth. “No, I mean you’re dumb because you’re pretty.”

I arched an eyebrow and cocked my head at her.

She was turning red. “No, this is coming out wrong. You are pretty. And that’s why you are dumb.”

“I’m pretty so I’m dumb?” I reiterated.

“No! You’re smart!” Pam wailed. She then buried her face in her hands.

I exchanged a look with Karen, who was trying to hold in her laughter. She could see the grin on my face as well. I decided to ease our friend’s suffering. Wrapping Pam up in a hug, I gently rocked her. “It’s okay, Pam. I think you’re dumb too.”

“Really?” she asked in a hopeful plea. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

“Of course,” I assured her.

“Hey what about me?” Karen asked. It was obvious she was feeling left out.

“Oh, you’re stupid,” I quipped. Leaving a small awkward beat before adding, “-stupid hot.”

With that, we all bust up in giggles and a few tears. When we settled down, the girls got serious. “Listen, Lilly, if you aren’t sure, just get him alone in a more romantic setting,” Karen advised.

Pam nodded with an enthusiastic bounce. “That way the conversation can’t stray away from your potential relationship.”

“So, like dinner?” I ventured, my thought from work creeping back in.

“Only if it’s a nice place,” Karen warned.

Pam enumerated some options. “French, Steak, Italian… are great for both a romantic setting and a conversation.”

Great, my instincts were right. Then I thought of an issue, “But how will I get him there?”

Karen and Pam shared a shock look. Finally, Karen said to her, “Maybe she is dumb? Like for reals?”

Not missing a step, Pam agreed, “She’s way prettier than we thought. It’s kind of sad really.”

Karen faced me, “Honey, you just ask him.”

It was now my turn to hide my face. Bending forward, I hid behind my hair and cried, “You guys are awful. What if he says no?” That just made them laugh. Sighing, I straightened to scowl at them.

Pam was quick to defuse me. “He won’t say no. In fact, when Karen first introduced us, I was a bit intimidated because of how sexy you look.”

“Besides, it’s modern times-” Karen announced spreading her arms wide, “-we got to put on our big girl panties and grab life!” With that she lunged forward, grabbing Pam and I each by one shoulder and giving us a shake. “Speaking of which. Let’s get our sing on! We don’t have this space for too long.”

Karen wanted to see what we had, so ordered us to pick out a solo song. Her exact words were, “I want to give you the spotlight to let your diva shine!”

To my surprise, Pam picked out a country song. It was upbeat and really got our toes tapping.

I chose Somewhere Over the Rainbow since I loved the sound of the ukulele version. I was only a few lines in when I noticed Karen had stopped playing. In fact, both Pam and her were staring open mouthed at me.

“What?” I asked. Did I have yet another talent? I mean talking like Lilly for so many years must have stretched my vocal range. Could that have inadvertently helped my singing voice?

Karen gulped, “Lilly, dear, you are so…” she paused trying to find the words. “…so… tone deaf.”

Expecting praise, it took a moment for the words to register. Eventually, I uttered, “Huh?”

“You’re really bad,” Pam apologized.

My face started turning red with embarrassment. Then the world started looking watery.

“Oh no! Honey!” Before I knew it both the girls were hugging me. Karen tried to explain, “It’s just we were shocked to see you not good at something. I mean, you’re smart and got real skills. Boys drool after you enough to form puddles in your wake. So, it’s kind of a relief to know you’re not perfect.”

I could just make out Pam’s emphatic nod. She then put in, “Does it make me terrible that I like you more now?”

“Yes, you’re both awful,” I was being petulant, but I think they heard that I was coming around. I mean, it still stung to know I stunk at singing, but they also weren’t going to stop liking me because of it. In fact, Pam said she might like me more. But I did feel terrible, since I would be responsible for ruining karaoke night. This brought on fresh tears.

“I’m sorry I said anything.” I could detect a tremor in Karen’s words.

Needing to reassure her, I shook my head. “No, I’m okay. I just didn’t want to ruin karaoke for you two.”

“Oh, oh!” Karen’s realization was sudden. Then after a moment, she said to herself, “It doesn’t have to be?”

Wiping my eyes with a sleeve, I looked up. “Really?” I asked. Even Pam was curious as we watched Karen.

“There’s a type of music where you don’t need to sing. Think of it as poetry set to music.” She picked up her instrument and gave an example. It was… captivating.

We then proceeded to fill the rest of the time performing our lyrical prose. The biggest hit of the night was when Pam, of all people, informed us that “Baby got back!”

As our time ran down, Pam perked up and turned to Karen. “Hey, you never sang for us.”

Thinking back, Pam was right. She sang the country number and then I failed on Over the Rainbow. “That’s right! This is your talent, after all. You now have to wow us.” I figured laying down a challenge would not give her room to back down.

“You sure?” Karen met my eyes. I could practically feel the concern come from her. She didn’t want this to be a sore spot between us.

I gave her a small nod and smile to show I understood and she had my blessing. I didn’t want to be the reason for my friend to hide her abilities from us.

Seeing my acceptance, Karen looked down and made sure everything was in tune. “Okay, here goes nothing.” She took a deep breath and then launched into Hallelujah.

I can’t say I’ve ever been into music. After all, my lack of skill in that area should indicate as much. But when I heard Karen sing, I understood its power. The song was both full of joy and triumph while at other times brought low with sorrow and pain. By the end, Pam and I were bawling our eyes out.

Peering up, Karen did a double take upon seeing us. “Oh my god, are you two okay?”

Neither of us could speak, so we did the only thing we could do, we rushed in and had a group hug. Karen had to calm us down before we could speak again.

With snot and watering eyes, I informed her, “We’re doing this again.”

“And next time, it’ll be a concert,” Pam added in an emphatic command.

Karen chuckled, “Okay, okay. Only if Pam does a reading and Lilly spills all the details of her date!”

Pam was about to protest, but lit up hearing the last part. Maybe it was as if one of her romance novels was coming to life in front of her, but she gave me a hopeful look. “I’m willing if Lilly is?”

I stuck my tongue out at Karen. “You may sing like an angel. But you’re the devil,” I stated.

Karen set down her ukulele and then put her hands up on her head simulating devil horns. “Is it a deal, my lovely?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively while attempting a deep voice.

I snorted. I then pushed my hair past my ears taking a deep breath. “Fine. I guess I’ll put my big girl panties on.” This last I said in a horrible impression of Karen.

She then produced a truly wicked laugh. “Excellent, my dear. You must ensure it to be a sinful night.”

I sighed and shook my head, crossing my arms in front of me. How little did I know, though. But it’s to be expected when you make deals with the devil.


	38. The Mating Ritual

After mulling it over for about a day, I was almost ready to ask Haley out. Something about her made me nervous, yet excited. I’d ask her out, maybe drop some subtle hints and ease into telling her about Lilly. When I turned down the hallway where our dorm rooms were, I missed a step. She was reading at the end of the hall.

I stopped to straighten my white button-down shirt. While my work uniform wasn’t anything special, I figured it looked nice enough. It’s not like I could ever predict how Haley was going to respond to anything I did or said.

As I drew close, she greeted me. “Hi neighbor. I like the way you smell.”

That was the perfect segue, so I jumped for it. “Well, you can smell like this too if you go out with me.” Man, that was creepy as hell. I could now empathize with Pam, who seemed prone to talking like this. Of course, she wasn’t a creep.

Again, that piercing intensity of her gaze bore into me. I’m not sure how long we were like that. Thankfully, she broke the silence. “Are you asking me out on a date for dinner?”

I guess my line wasn’t that obvious. Of course, it wasn’t you dolt. I shoved a hand into my hair and rubbed the back of my head. “Uh, yeah. Cause I smell like the restaurant.” It then dawned on me that she might have a boyfriend. “Unless you can’t…” I trailed off, not sure how to cover my assumption.

She closed her book and set it down. As she stood, I became aware she was in fact a couple of inches taller than me. “I suppose I could eat.” At five foot nine, she was striking. All long limbs and grace. All the other times she surprised me I had been a bit distracted. But now I was in the driver’s seat, though it was sort of feeling like I did not know how to steer the vehicle.

“What? Right now?” This conversation was getting ahead of me somehow. Yep, the roads were icy and, instead of a wheel, I was using a fidget spinner.

“Yes?” She frowned. “Are you no longer hungry?”

“No. I mean yes, I’m hungry. I just thought-” I flapped a hand aimless between us. “Never mind, I just need to change.” Saved it! This fidget-spinning monstrosity was back on the road.

“But you already smell like the place,” she noted. “Wouldn’t you just get another set of clothes dirty?”

“True, but dressed like this, everyone would think I’m a waiter there to work.” This wasn’t going half bad. It was looking like I was heading straight for date town.

“Ah, and since you are attempting to court me, you wish to appear virile on our date. Very well, knock on my door when you are ready.” She gathered her book and went into her room.

And just like that, I was lost. My vehicle went off the road and into a ditch. But wait, this was still happening. I replayed the conversation back in my head. She had called it a date. I blinked then said to myself, “Wow, I guess Max and the girls were right.” With that, I went to shower and change.

I had to remember to thank Karen and Pam. The place where I worked was a great choice. The added bonus was that I got an employee discount when eating there, thank you Reggan. 

Outside of our dorm, Haley seemed much more normal. She still had a directness about her, but she acted less rigid. I mean, the only noticeable quirk was how assertive she was towards me. Not that I minded that in the least, it was sort of unexpected.

Grabbing my hand, she fell in step with me. “Is the place far?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s in walking distance.” Man, I hope my palm wasn’t too sweaty.

“What shall we talk about while we walk?” She gave her head a toss to move some loose strands of hair out of her way so she could see me better.

Thinking back on my numerous interactions with females, I recalled many complaining about their boyfriends only wanting to talk about themselves. So, I ventured, “Well, let’s talk about you.”

That elicited a quizzical look from her. But after a moment, she obliged. Turned out, she’s a genius. Along with degrees in various medical fields, she also had an interest in what she called the soft sciences, like human behavior and social rituals. This explained a lot of her experiments on me. It also so happened that she was rich. Her parents owned controlling interests in a major pharmaceutical company that was leading the industry in genetic manipulation.

She had ended up at this university not because it had the best education system, but rather that they let her create her own curriculum. And she liked the atmosphere. It was astounding what a sizable donation to a college will let one’s child do.

The embarrassing part of the date came when she admitted. “I haven’t made any time to go on dates. But I have read that it can be a powerful life experience. So, when you offered, I thought this would be a great opportunity to see what it was all about.”

My heart sank. Here I was thinking I was pretty decent at seducing the opposite sex. When in actuality, it was an amusing social experiment for her.

Then she said, “I feel this is very enlightening. I can’t wait for the mating portion of this evening.” I almost spat out the drink I was sipping.

The odd thing is that, apart from these odd comments, she was rather personable. She told funny jokes and kept up with movies and songs. She had charming stories of her childhood. There were just times she was off. I was completely relaxed walking back with her when she asked out of nowhere, “Hey, are you stimulated? Sexually, I mean?”

A mountain of fear crashed upon me. How should anyone answer that? I didn’t want to be a pervert or anything, but she did respect directness. So, I answered, “Yeah.”

“Excellent,” was all she said to this.

My palms grew wet and clammy as we got to our floor. I began to hear a buzzing in my ears as we turned down the hall. My vision went into tunnel mode as we pulled even with our doors. It took a moment for me to notice that she had asked something.

“I’m sorry, what?” I inquired.

“Would you like to come in?” she repeated.

Unable to speak, I nodded in the affirmative. She then unlocked her door and let me in. I was surprised to find a room much larger than mine. It was practically twice the size. This freed my tongue. “Your place is bigger than mine.”

She was setting her purse down along with her keys. “That’s because this side of the hall are double occupancy rooms. But I need the space for my own library.” She waved a hand to another room.

I peeked in and found it packed with shelving and books. She had converted the second bedroom into a repository of select knowledge. I turned to tell her how unexpected this all was when her mouth crushed mine. Her tongue flailed about with inexperience but a lot of enthusiasm. It wasn’t entirely great, but it also had promise.

Holding her, I proceeded to use everything I had learned with Erica and Sam. I coaxed her waving muscle into a slow exploration. Then I repositioned our heads to make things more comfortable. I could tell the tension was leaving Haley as she found me an expert in something new to her.

We stayed locked together while the arousal built between us. She moaned when feeling the length of me get hard against her. Involuntarily, she ground against me, causing a moan of my own. By the time we broke apart, our lips were swollen with desire. Then things got a little strange.


	39. Intimacy

She pulled me along behind her with one hand over to her bed. Releasing me, she moved a chair to the end of the bed and motioned to it. I sat entranced by this situation. Gliding to a shelf, she activated something, which controlled hidden speakers throughout the room.

Additionally, she lowered the brightness of the lights. A slow instrumental jazz number poured from the speakers. The saxophone was like a rolling wave crashing onto us, while the drum beat mirrored the sway of Haley’s hips.

Belatedly, I was aware that she was stripping off her clothes. I was fully expecting to have her stop at her bra and panties, which shone as a deep red, even in the dim light. However, even these made it to the floor.

My eyes traced the faint lines that her garments left on her skin. They created a pattern over her surprisingly full breasts. Her height disguised just how firm and high they perched on her.

I followed her hand as she glided it over her stomach and down through the thatch of hair where her legs met. It was like a nest of dark honey interlaced with golden strands. She dipped a finger in and when she pulled it away, a glossy sheen could be seen on her digit.

I found bravery somewhere and asked, “Haley, why?”

She touched my lips with her wet finger to silence me. The smell of her desire filled my nostrils. “Shh, I’m creating a bond with you by becoming vulnerable.”

That was the oddest thing a naked woman could have said to me at that moment. I shook it away to continue my questioning, but she had made it to the bed. Mesmerized, I watched as she unfolded like a flower. Spreading herself wide, I could see the glistening lips of her sex. I stood to join her.

To my utter shock and disappointment, she held up a hand in the universal sign for stop. Reluctant, I returned to my seat. Once I was situated, she resumed her activity.

Fondling herself, she let her hands display all of her assets like a model on a game show. She’d stretch one leg up with impossible grace as she ran a hand down the back of her thigh only to brush against her moist folds.

Each touch of this nature left the slightest of streaks across her skin. After a few more minutes of this, she proceeded to manually stimulate herself in front of me. This was accompanied by soft moans and involuntary thrusts of her pelvis.

I felt weird about speaking, but I was dying to know. “Do you just want me to watch?”

“Please Henry!” she panted in a frenzy. “Just look at me.”

I guess that was confirmation of a sort. The problem was my cock was aching from her show. But I didn’t dare to play with myself without her permission. She said she wanted to be vulnerable, so I let her take the lead. I decided I might be able to play along. “I want to see more.” My voice was husky and deeper than what I was used to.

Her emerald eyes flashed with excitement at this command. Turning over she got on all fours spreading her knees apart. I marveled at the clean curved lines of her ass. I had the strong impression of a heart.

Drawing my gaze to the center of this romantic shape was a new view. Her puckered asshole hovered above her slit. My dick throbbed at the thought of using both her holes. I gritted my teeth in the effort not to grab her and bury my face in her sex.

Lowering her torso, I could see an odd angle of the bottoms of her breasts as they appeared between her legs. This new position allowed her to reach more effectively and finger her pussy.

It was a shock as her free hand roamed and found her anus and explored it as well. By now, her groans were coming faster together and the only word I could make out from her was my name. “Henry! Henry! Henry!”

I said the only thing I could think of. “I’m watching.”

That was enough to set her off. What I wasn’t ready for was a spray of fluid issuing from her crotch. I jumped to my feet and nearly tripped on the chair as I tried to take a step back. I only managed to land hard back on the seat.

This gave Haley enough time to recover. Throwing her hair over one shoulder, she looked back at me. Seeing my concern, she smiled, “I guess you’ve never seen a girl squirt before?”

“Squirt?” I knew about the wetness and orgasms, but this term was new to me when it came to sex.

“Yeah, under the right type of stimulation, a girl can essentially ejaculate. It doesn’t happen every time. And many girls will never do it.”

“Was that what you wanted to show me?” My mouth had gone dry. Plus, it was difficult to think with the heated rod in my jeans.

She chuckled. “I was just planning to masturbate. But it got me going when you asked to show you more.”

I couldn’t help but devour her with my eyes. After all, I was horny as hell. Seeing my looks, she said, “I figured you could control yourself.” She avoided my glance by turning away. I noticed a rosy coloring upon her chest. “You see, I’m still a virgin. And even though I’ve experimented with myself I-”

I involuntarily interrupted her and blurt out, “I’m a virgin too!” 

Her eyes went wide at this. “What? Really?”

I nodded. For some reason, it now embarrassed me, even though it was something we had in common. I fidgeted in my chair.

“I figured, by the way you kissed, you had been with a girl before now.” She was visibly shocked.

“Well, I did have a girlfriend. And we did, uh,” I was trying to figure out a good way not to be crude. “Use our mouths on each other. But we never did it.”

“You mean sex? Why not?” She was absently stroking her body.

“We kind of got depressed when we realized we were going to different schools. I guess neither of us could stand having something then losing it so soon.” This was the first time I was dealing with Sam’s loss in my life. I shrugged, a defeated slump to the action.

Slapping her lap, she sat up. “Okay, then we’re going to do something about it.” She patted the bed. “Your turn.”

“My turn for what?” I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Throwing her arms out, she replied, “To do whatever you want. And I’ll watch.”

With a few more prods, she got me out of the seat and planted herself on it. Going to the center of the room where she had stripped, I let the music suffuse me with energy.

As the layers came off, I would check in with her with a glance. Seeing her ravenous stare encouraged me to continue. However, when it came to removing my pants, I turned my back to her leaving the exact size of my bulge a mystery.

I grinned when I noticed she had a hand between her legs as she focused on my backside.

I managed to remove my boxers and slide face down onto her bed. I came in contact with the damp pool of fluid she left behind, which made me groan as it moistened my belly, shaft, and balls. By this time, I could hear the unmistakable sound of Haley thrusting her digits into her passage. Her breathing sounded rough and urgent.

I opened my legs which only gave her a glimpse of my testicles. She must have spotted her own juices on the bed since she asked, “Is it really wet there?”

I groaned, “Yeah, but it feels amazing.” To demonstrate, I moved my hips to grind into the bedding.

Between gasps, she commented, “You haven’t, ah, turned over.”

I bent my head around to see her face. “Why? Do you want to see my dick?”

She bit her lip and nodded furiously. I could just make out that her hand was a blur of motion between her spread thighs.

With agonizing slowness, I made all the pretense of turning over without actually doing so. I might reposition a limb several times only to slip back down. This was met by whimpers from Haley.

Finally, she begged, “Henry please! I need you to turn over.”

I gave in and flopped on my back. I was in the perfect position to see her whole face grow wide with shock. She didn’t have the chance to say anything since at that moment a violent orgasm tore through her. This time the chair was coated in a shower of her second ejaculation. When the convulsions ended, she flopped lifeless to the seat.

Smug pride ran wild in my blood. I had just brought a girl to climax by just being me. It was this feeling that made me finally give in.

Wrapping a hand around my penis, I began to stroke. Haley’s sexual fluids made the best lubricant. My fist flew over the rigid member like a dream. I let my eyelids fall close as I reveled in the sensation.

I was so absorbed by my own self stimulation that I barely registered the shifting of the bed. I became fully alert when the tip of my penis encountered something warm, hot, and very slick.

It took several heartbeats to recognize what I was seeing. Haley was crouched over me with a foot on either side of my hips. She must have been standing on her bed. Although now she was squatting and the tip of my cock was resting against the opening of her vagina.

She was gulping air. Her eyes were glazed as she tried to focus on my face. “Henry! Please let me.” A droplet fell from her and traced a line down my erection and onto my closed hand.

The world moved along as if underwater as I released myself and placed my open palm on one of her trembling thighs. I pressed gently signifying my permission.

“Ahh!” she exclaimed as she lowered herself gradually onto me. Her tight passage gripped me with heat and a flood of her dew. She had to pause halfway down closing her eyes and scrunching up her face. “Oh fuck! You’re so big.”

I didn’t want to hurt her but at the same time I was eager to react. I grit my teeth and held still as I was wracked by this exquisite torture. When she moved again, I gasped for air. I hadn’t realized I had stopped breathing.

When she got me completely inside her, she violently convulsed as she had a massive release. The rhythmic pulses caressed me in the most intimate way possible. Somewhere in the back of my mind, some inner voice screamed that I was not wearing a condom. I knew it was important, but I couldn’t parse the words to make any sense. So, I said them out loud. “I’m not wearing a condom.”

Thankfully, Haley understood. “It’s alright. I’m on birth control.” She was now swaying, barely holding on to consciousness.

With the last barrier in my head torn down, I literally growled. Holding her waist firm in both my hands, I proceeded to thrust up inside her. I got to about three stabs before I exploded.

The throbbing felt as though something was being ripped from me as I poured myself into her. I’m guessing this hit the right nerves because Haley was struck with yet another climax. We then both blacked out for a moment.

As we came to, she was laying sprawled against my chest, our bodies still joined. Tentatively, she moved her hips setting both our nerves on fire.

I reached around and filled my hands with her rounded backside. Together we found a new more measured pace. In unison, the tension built and crested in a wild frenzy.

She managed to milk me one last time before sliding off my body. I’d climb on her, but by that time, my dick was done. We were both coated in sweat and other fluids so we lay there and cuddled.

Tucking herself in the crook of my left arm, she was able to play with my chest. She circled each nipple before tugging on it and moving to the other. In a tired yet wistful whisper she said, “Well, we’re not virgins anymore.” It was at that point that Sam flashed in my head and a wave of nausea came over me. What had I just done?


	40. Uncomplicated Complications

Leaving Haley’s room, I crept back to mine. I waited until she fell asleep before taking my very short walk of shame. Laying in my own bed with the smell of sex permeating every inch of my body, I could not settle down.

The crux of my internal turmoil all had to do with Sam and Haley. Had Sam and I broke up? Was I dating Haley? Whose permission was I seeking? I needed more perspective. Plus, I kind of promised telling Karen and Pam all about the date. That’s why, the very next day, I went out as Lilly.

Exiting my dorm room, I was shocked to find Haley out in the hallway. She had a vital intensity about her. It was so unexpected to see her that I gave a yelp. “Oh my gosh! You startled me.” I held a hand over my heart.

“Sorry, is your brother around?” She leaned to one side attempting to peer past me.

“No, I think he went out,” I lied. Well, technically I was out of the room.

“Oh, can you tell him I am looking for him?” I would have answered, but she turned and went back into her own room.

“Sure,” I said to her closed door. Yep. I needed some real perspective on the situation. The question was, how would I even bring up this with my friends?

Turns out, I didn’t need to worry. As soon as Karen saw me, she asked, “So, how was the date?” I’m not sure how she knew I chose last night to go on the date. Perhaps I had a look about me? Though I don’t think she was expecting me to break down in tears. For that matter, I wasn’t expecting to fall apart on her like this.

Several moments went by as Karen and Pam consoled me. Through nose blowing and stuttering, I relayed the entire story with some creative license. Sam and Haley became guys in the retelling. I did manage to keep their names close as Sam and Hal. And I sort of switched Haley and my roles when briefly covering the sexual activities.

“So, do you talk to Sam?” Pam inquired. I could have kissed her for overlooking the fact that I gave up my virginity to a stranger.

“Not really,” I admitted. “We tried the first week, but hearing the other just made us cry.” Having told my friends all this was at least feeling like a relief.

“Aw, that’s so sad,” Karen observed. “Why didn’t you tell us you still had feelings for another guy?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I had another friend who thought it might be good for me, I guess. Plus, I kind of thought Hal was cute. I figured going on a date couldn’t hurt, then one thing led to another…”

Karen turned pensive. “There is something to that since you did sleep with him.” She saw my hurt look then apologized, “No! I don’t mean it that way. I’m just saying that a part of you was craving affection. That’s all.”

“You don’t think he was trying to take advantage of her?” Pam directed this at Karen.

“That’s a good point.” She glanced at me.

“No,” I sighed. “My brother told me that he was outside our room seeing if I was in.” Karen and Pam shared a look. “What?” I was defensive at that look.

Karen replied, “It’s just that this is the first time we’ve heard about your brother.”

“Is he cute?” I’m pretty sure Pam was trying to be playful since that was the most brazen thing I had ever heard her say. This time Karen and I shared a disbelieving look. Pam, in the meantime, hid her face in her sweater. “Please don’t tell him I asked that.”

I laughed. “It’s okay Pam. Your anonymous flirting with my brother will be our little secret.”

Her eyes popped out over the hem of her collar. “Don’t say it like that, Lilly. I’m not a pervert.”

“Back on track, ladies. We can get back to Pam’s rampant sexuality later.” Karen straightened in her seat preparing to launch back in.

“Hey!” Pam cried.

Ignoring her, Karen continued, “I think you need to go see this Hal-”

“But he’s going-” I began to protest, but Karen raised a hand to silence me.

“Let me finish. You’ll need to meet up with this Hal, but this time you’ll bring a friend along.” She was pointing at me to emphasize her advice. “And, you’ll want to take someone who you won’t ever sleep with in a million years.”

I considered this for a moment. Then in a soft voice I muttered to myself, “I guess I could take Maxwell with me?”

“Maxwell?” Perhaps Karen was hoping I’d choose her. Problem there was that Hal was really Haley and I was also Henry, and there was the fact Max told me I wasn’t his type. It was safer with him. “How many boys do you surround yourself with?” Karen was indignant.

I waved it away. “Max is gay.”

“Oh.” That deflated her sails. “Still, I was hoping you’d choose me or Pam to go with you.”

“Or both of us?” Pam offered.

“Yeah! Or both of us.” Karen was warming to the idea. “We’d be like your personal entourage.”

“Um, that might be a bit much. Besides, I thought the idea is to see how he reacts in a comfortable environment.” I raised my arms and did jazz hands. “Put me in front of a group and I know I start putting on a performance.”

Karen sighed, “I guess you’re right. Besides too many hotties in one room might make it hard for him to think. Especially with little miss maneater over here.” She gestured toward Pam.

It took a second before Pam understood. Her mouth dropped open then she went into chastising Karen. “I just said that about her brother to cheer her up. I’m not a-” She struggled to find the right words, “-a lady of the night!” Karen and I both broke into peels of giggles seeing the diminutive girl so cross.

“So, now that’s out of the way. I’m sure Pam is dying to know just how big this Hal of yours is downstairs.” Karen’s eyebrows danced with naughty intent.

Pam was puzzled for a moment then brightened. “Oh, you mean the size of his penis!”

Without thinking, I put up my hands to show just how long I was. Seeing my friends’ eyes pop wide, I had to ask, “What? Is something wrong?” I studied how far apart my hands were. Yeah, that seemed about right.

“The man is hung!” blurted Karen.

At the same time, Pam declared, “How did you make it fit?”

For my part, I turned bright red. My friends must have taken it for shyness of my sexual conquest, when in actuality I realized they now both knew the size of my dick. The best I could reply with was, “I suppose. And there was plenty of lubricant.” It was impossible to look them in the eyes, so I studied my clasped hands on the table we sat around. It was one of the outdoor seating areas around campus and thankfully there wasn’t much in the way of foot traffic.

“Aren’t you sore?” Pam had a mixture of concern and maybe a little curiosity in her voice.

Were girls supposed to feel sore afterwards? It was better safe not to make things up. “I’m fine.”

“Did he at least get you there?” Karen’s words were hushed.

Remembering Haley’s explosive pleasure as well as my own, it was pretty obvious both sides achieved climax. “At least twice? Maybe more. It was kind of hard to focus during… it.” I followed suit with Karen lowering the volume of my normal speaking voice.

“Multiple times!” It was apparent Pam didn’t get the memo. Then she noticed both of us staring. “No!” she cried, “You’re giving me that look that says I’m a pervert again.”

“If the shoe fits, honey,” Karen stated.

I nodded. “Cinderella, you shop at the pervert’s shoe store.”

“But I didn’t have any sex last night.” It was kind of sad. Pam was almost forcing us to tweak her nose with what she said.

I’d say Karen and I showed remarkable restraint though that didn’t stop the laughter. Pam spent some time hiding her face, but since we stopped teasing her, she joined in the mirth, eventually.

Taking Karen and Pam’s advice in hand, I found myself at Maxwell’s door. I took a deep breath and knocked waiting for him to answer. When the door opened, he smiled.

“Fortune smiles upon the wicked!” he cheered. “I haven’t stopped designing a gown to suit your brilliance. Come in. Come in.” Dragging me inside, I was unable to get a word in edge wise.

Standing in Maxwell’s room, I came face-to-face with Alex and Reggan. I went stalk still. My plan was to only tell Maxwell for the moment.

“Hi Henry!” Alex greeted.

Reggan scowled at her. “Alex! Max told us he prefers to be called Lilly when dressed like that.”

“Oh, hi Lilly!” Alex corrected cheerful as before.

“Hi?” I spun to Maxwell. “You told them?”

Maxwell was furious at work on his tablet. Popping his head up when I addressed him, he seemed perplexed, “Was I not supposed to tell them?”

“I-I wasn’t-It’s just I needed-” There was no good way to explain myself with the girls sitting right behind me.

“If it helps, I like cocoons and butterflies!” Alex piped in.

I lowered my head, letting my hair fall and cover my smile. Leave it to Alex to be so weird yet so accepting. Straightening my shoulders and tucking the tresses back behind my ears, I pivoted to face Reggan and Alex. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you two.”

“Tell us what?” Alex asked.

“That he dresses like Lilly,” Reggan interjected.

Alex blinked then brightened. “Oh! I totally understand. I’m dressed as Alex number three today.”

Abandoning that particular conversation, Reggan pulled her attention back to me. “Any way. It’s alright Lilly.” Reggan looked down and mumbled. “I dress as Reggie.”

I reeled at hearing this. Here I was expecting total rejection only to find common ground. “I’m sorry.” Those were the only words that came to mind.

“For what?” Reggan was a smidge perturbed.

Guessing that she thought I meant I was sorry for her condition, I amended by saying, “I’m sorry that I assumed I was alone in all of this.” I ran to her and gave her a hug.

She was stiff in returning the sentiment. Awkwardly, she patted my back. “It’s no big deal. Uh, don’t cry.” In all fairness, I did have a long day and my emotions were close to the surface. “Man, you really are a girl.”

I sniffed and wiped my nose as I ended the hug. “What does that supposed to mean?” I asked hurt by her words.

Holding up her hands in submission. “I just mean you are super authentic. I’m still too nervous to walk out of my own place. I just think you have a lot of courage.”

I was touched by this and felt I should reciprocate in some way. As my options were limited, I instead offered, “I can help. We can go out together in any combination. I can go as Lilly or as Henry.”

“And I can go as well as Alex one through nine. But not Alex ten. She’s not a people person.” I think Alex just wanted to be included.

“And see, we even have nine options of Alex,” I pointed out.

For the first time, I heard Reggan snort. “Sure. Sounds terrifying.”

Clearing his throat, Maxwell got all of our attention. “As touching as all this is, ladies. Might I inquire as to why the lovely Lilly has graced me with her presence?”

Marching over to him, I poked him in the chest. “You’re coming with me to meet Haley.”

“Who?” He was befuddled.

“The girl you instructed Henry to seduce,” I supplied.

“Oh! Did that go well?” He set down his tablet. “I do give the best advice after all.”

“If you consider having sex with her as good advice? Then yeah, things went swimmingly.” I crossed my arms over my breasts in a protective stance.

He rubbed his chin. “Sounds like fantastic advice to me? You’re welcome.”

Shifting my hands to my hips, I frowned. “Well, that’s a man response if ever I heard one.” I started pacing and gesticulating with both hands. “You see, I did it and have no idea if we’re actually in a relationship. And now I need someone else there to help me figure out where I stand.”

Maxwell, in return, cocked a hip out and crossed his arms. “Now that sounds like a plan cooked up by a gaggle of females.”

I shot daggers at him with my gaze. “So, what if it was?”

“Oh, no reason. I’m just glad to be on my own team.” Before I could respond, he added, “So, when do I meet this soiled dove of yours?”

“In the next day or so.” I sighed. “As soon as I can change back to Henry that is. And please don’t call her a soiled dove to her face.”

With a gallant bow, he acceded. “As you wish, oh demanding one.” He stood tall and winked, “Though I must admit, if Henry was half as feisty as you, my dear, we may have a love triangle on our hands.”


	41. We’re Not Alone

Upon leaving Max’s place I was followed out by Reggan and Alex. “Hey, um, Lilly? Were you serious about helping me go out as Reggie?” There was something very relatable to Reggan’s quiet query.

“Sure,” I replied. I could sense there was something else bothering her since she shifted around while walking. So, I pressed, “Is there something else?”

Reggan rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah, sort of. I want to go on a date.”

I bit my lip. I didn’t think of Reggan in that way. I had to think about how to respond to this.

Seeing my pensive expression, she amended, “I already have a girlfriend.”

I blew out a breath, good that was getting awkward. “Oh, okay. Does she know…?” I gestured between us indicating dressing as a different gender.

To my surprise Alex, of all people, popped in. Sticking two thumbs up and at herself, she announced, “This girl!”

Reggan’s smile was dazzling as she turned to Alex. “That’s right.”

It took me a moment. “Oh. Oh! Well, good. That’s at least the hard part out of the way.”

“Can I tell Ms. Lilly how sex works?” Alex’s train of thought ran on very different tracks than the rest of us.

“Uh, maybe later,” Reggan soothed. That’s when it hit me. Most of the time when Alex said something truly odd, it was Reggan that helped make sense of things or prevented anyone from picking on her girlfriend.

Alex smiled and tilted her head. “Right! Then can she tell me about how she does sex?”

I choked hearing this. It was too bad Alex wasn’t with me and the girls earlier. Though thinking about it, maybe not.

“Maybe when things are a bit more private,” Reggan cut in. Turning to me, she said, “When we’re at our place, I do dress and act properly. I just haven’t had the nerve to go out. But seeing you and your confidence… I don’t know, I think I got to try, you know?”

I nodded my head in slow agreement. “It is a personal thing. I’d think you’d be miserable if you didn’t at least try.”

Alex swooped in and took Reggan’s hand swinging it between them. “Maybe we can invite Lilly to have sex with us. That would be private enough, right? Oh, or should we also invite Henry?” Alex’s mouth bowed into a frown.

“I don’t think I want to share you babe,” Reggan was tender.

Alex’s eyes grew round as saucers. “You mean you want all the Alexes?”

Reggan beamed, “Even Alex 10.”

This took the other girl off-guard and she missed a step. “Wow,” was her response. Then she spotted some rose bushes set off to one side of the path we were walking along. “Oh, I got to go study those. I’ve got some ideas for shorts I want to make.” With that she left the path and ran over to the bushes.

Reggan and I stopped and stood watching her. I felt bad for asking but I had to know. “Is Alex, okay?”

Reggan blew out a breath. “You wouldn’t think so from looking, would you?” She turned to me, then back to her girl. “The truth is she’s smarter than all of us put together. She gets the highest grades in every class she’s in. It’s actually my theory that she’s bored. And this-” she waved in Alex’s direction, “-is just what she does to keep entertained.”

To my shock, I could actually relate. Reggan’s description seemed to also fit Haley. The major difference was that Haley was science oriented while Alex was dead set on more artistic pursuits. But I kept that to myself. Instead, I grinned at Reggan, “It’ll be my pleasure to help you two.”

“Thanks.” Reggan shifted her feet around. “And about the sex thing with Alex.”

“I’ll stay away.” I could tell Reggan was the possessive type.

“Oh, I was going to say you should come as Lilly. Cause I like me the ladies,” Reggan said in an aggrieved tone.

“What?” My mouth literally fell open as I stared at her.

Reggan kept it together for a couple of seconds and then bust up laughing. “You should have seen the look on your face!”

“I… you, you are just a jerk!” I shot back.

“No, but seriously, wear something lacy.” Reggan wasn’t bothering to hide the shit-eating grin plastered on her face.

With that I huffed and continued walking, leaving the two behind. Not bothering to turn my head, I reiterated, “You’re a jerk. See if I’ll help you now.”

“Ah, come on I was just joking,” Reggan whined. When I didn’t stop, her voice grew a bit worried, “Lilly? Lilly? I’m sorry.”

Thanks to my back being turned, she couldn’t see my own smile. Finally, I stopped and spun around. “Doesn’t feel good, does-” I couldn’t finish scolding Reggan as I spied Alex, which made me break into a full-belly laugh.

Somehow, she had managed to pick a mess of flowers. Having nowhere else to put them, she had randomly stuck them into her hair at odd angles. The look was fairy flower princess meets ice cream float after a knock-out, drag-out fight.

It was all I could do to cover my mouth and point. Alex smiled and pointed back. I couldn’t read Reggan’s expression as she looked between us.

When I caught my breath, I gasped out, “You look adorable Alex!”

“Thanks!” She returned to the path once again, reclaiming Reggan’s hand.

Reggan’s face softened when she realized I wasn’t going to make fun of her girlfriend. Yeah, she had a protective streak a mile wide. Turning to Alex, she asked, “I thought you were going to make shorts?”

“Oh, I am. I got to take these back home to study them more carefully. Plus, this way, my hands are free.” She held up their clasped hands for emphasis, then frowned. “Well, at least this one’s free anyway.” She held up her other hand and wiggled her fingers. Then she frowned again. “Oh, but Lilly’s not holding anyone’s hand.” Dragging Reggan behind her, Alex took one of my hands to remedy the situation. “Okay! Now let’s go!”

And just like that we made an odd trio heading off home or to some place magical. It was even money on which it might be.


	42. Introduction

I somehow managed to get into my room and changed without alerting Haley. As soon as I did, I went across the hall to knock on her door. As the door opened, I saw Haley appearing rather disheveled.

“Hey, my sister-” was all I managed before she dragged me into the room and shut the door.

Immediately, she went for my pants, only stopping when she revealed my dick. With quick and eager strokes, she brought it to full attention. With a sigh, she turned her back to me, raised her skirt, and sunk my prick deep inside of her swollen and very well lubricated passage. The thrusting was enough to press me flat against the door.

I watched in disbelief as she proceeded to have multiple orgasms on me. It wasn’t until her third that I had enough wits to join in. Grabbing her hips, I timed our writhing bodies to get more out of the experience.

I’m not sure when I thought to examine her room, but it became obvious she had been experimenting quite emphatically. I spied a dildo left forgotten on her bed along with a magazine that seemed to have a lot of flesh on display. It was at that point I realized Haley wasn’t the only female moaning in the room.

Off to my right was a television mounted to the wall. The room was being illuminated by the flickering images on the screen. Bending forward over her body, I could see that there were indeed people having sex.

I looked down to see her ass bobbing against me. I used my left hand to cup her left cheek and lightly trace the crevice of her ass.

“Oh yeah! I’ve been a bad girl today. Spank this naughty little girl,” she enthused between gasps.

Following her orders, I slapped her rear and watched as the mounds quivered. Additionally, I received the benefit of feeling her clench around me with each smack. The overwhelming sensations along with the novelty brought my climax hard.

I groaned as my semen pumped inside of her. When we finally separated, it was accompanied by a wet slurping sound. Haley stumbled forward until she fell sprawled on one edge of her bed. I stayed propped up by the door with my pants down around my ankles.

After a moment, I was able to redress myself. Haley, on the other hand, might have been at this for a while. She merely lay there with her skirt partially covering her backside. From this angle, her sex was clearly visible.

Trying to recall what I wanted to tell her, I avoided getting close since I couldn’t be sure what would happen. So, I just called from my place next to her door. “Hey Haley?”

“Mmm?” I’m pretty sure that was her acknowledging me.

“I was thinking I could introduce you to one of my friends tomorrow.” It would be anybody’s guess as to whether or not she’d remember this tomorrow much less five minutes from now. “Does that sound okay?”

“Mmm hmm.” I so desperately wanted to go to her and get her tucked into bed. But with all the sexual paraphernalia around and her erotic movie playing, it was too surreal.

“I’m going to go back to my place now. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I moved far enough into the room, only to allow me to open her door and exit.

This latest encounter was only adding more questions than answers. I think if it wasn’t for the part of me that was Lilly, I might have just cast caution to the wind and engage in a lust-filled escapade. But I was certain I needed more of a connection to justify things. And it was pretty obvious to me that my cock did all the thinking for me when I was with her as Henry.

What I had with Sam was precious. And I know we never got to the intercourse portion of our relationship, but I know that if we had, it could have been so much more.

I had to repeat this to myself over and over again, since my body was more interested in having the nice warm companion across the hall. Needless to say, I didn’t get a good night’s sleep.

It was about three in the morning when I heard a tapping at my door. I groggily got out of bed and went to see who it was. As soon as I cracked the door ajar, a shove forced it open and Haley came barreling through. I think she wore a robe. I couldn’t be sure since she shed it off and revealed her completely nude body.

I shut the door to protect her modesty, but considering we were at the end of the hallway, I figured there wasn’t too much to worry about.

Her hands helped relieved me of my shirt and underwear, which was all I had been wearing in bed.

She must have used some sort of martial art move because I soon found myself landing back first onto my bed. She hopped up on top and threw a leg over me. And just like that, I was once again sheathed in her heat as she rocked her pelvis to create friction.

“I can’t stop thinking about fucking this amazing dick,” she groaned. 

“I’m glad?” I panted. My hands were roaming over her back and into her hair.

“This whole time I thought I was-” she cut herself off with a massive orgasm. Tremors rippled through her as she came with violent spasms. We continued like this through the rest of the night until we both passed out.

When I awoke, I discovered that Haley had found my morning wood and was riding it. She smiled down at me as I opened my eyes. “Good morning.” Her tone sounded bright and well rested. “Good news, I can finally think clearly for a change.”

“Uh-huh.” It was hard to focus through all the pleasure. It was tempered by the fact I was on the sore side down there. By some magic, she timed it so that we each exploded at the same time.

Getting off of me, she went to gather her robe which lay crumpled on the floor. I watched dazed as her bent over form made interesting shapes in my head. “So when will you be bringing over your friend?” she asked while straightening and slipping into her robe.

“What?” As her body became more concealed the fog on my brain also lifted. “Oh, maybe around three?” I knew Maxwell was typically free by that time.

She brushed her hair out with her fingers. “Great! See you then.” And just like that she was gone.

I didn’t bother telling Maxwell about the latest rounds of feverish passion Haley and I shared as I walked him back to my place. I groaned internally when I noticed Haley was not at the window. Who knows what we’d find when I knocked on her door. I took a deep breath and rapped on her room. To my utter shock, she swung the door wide and ushered us inside.

The dorm was immaculate. It no longer resembled a seedy hotel, but more like a stylish apartment. Maxwell gave the place a once over.

“I say, Henry never mentioned what a sophisticated young lady he has…” To his credit, Maxwell was trying to get Haley to state what our relationship was.

“For a neighbor,” she supplied. “And how do you two know each other?”

Maxwell waved a hand. “Oh, Henry here is both my protégé and confidante. We tell each other everything. And I do mean everything.” On the last word, he wiggled his eyebrows.

And that’s how the whole meeting went. Maxwell would elude to something personal, but she would deflect by giving non-committal answers. She was so prim and proper. I was beginning to think I dreamt the whole thing up.

Then as we left her place, she unmistakably grabbed my backside and gave it a sharp squeeze. I kept from yelping, but just barely. When we were leaving the dorms, I finally asked, “Well? What’s the verdict?”

Maxwell just shook his head. “I don’t know what to tell you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was gay.”

“But she grabbed my ass on the way out,” I protested.

He shrugged, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Maybe she’s going through a phase?”

“You’re no help,” I grumbled. Having nothing more to talk about, I made my goodbyes and headed back to my place.

When I got to my door, I spotted a note. Unfolding it I read, “Come see me when you get back. Haley.” I walked across the hall and knocked.

“Come in!” she called from inside.

Turning the handle, I found it had been left unlocked. Entering, I closed it behind me. Haley emerged from her library room looking pensive.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked. It was odd now not seeing her jump me to have sex.

She crossed her arms and tilted her head. “You’re your own sister, aren’t you?”

I could sense the blood leaving my face as I went cold. “What do you mean?”

She pointed in the direction where my room was. “You don’t live with anyone else. The girl I’ve been seeing is you. And you just introduced me to her lover today.”

I blinked. “What? Max? I’m not into guys even when I’m-” I stopped. It occurred to me what I had just admitted.

With an expression of triumph, she pumped a fist. “I knew it!”

“You don’t seem mad,” I pointed out.

“Relieved actually,” she said. She walked over and sat in a chair. “Up until now, I thought I was gay since I only found women attractive. In fact, I almost asked out your sister, er, you, I guess?”

“What made you then go out with me instead of Lilly?” I was now insanely curious.

She shrugged. “We’re in college. Isn’t this the time to experiment? Besides you looked so much alike, I figured I could just fantasize I was with her if things came to it.”

“And did you?” I moved to sit on the edge of her bed.

“Sort of,” she confessed. “I wasn’t expecting to consider liking the image of a girl with a cock. And that’s what sort of happened. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still all about the ladies, but your extra bits are interesting.”

I was uncertain what I should do with this information. On one hand, she was thinking about a different person when we hooked up. But it was even odder when that other person she was fantasizing about was also me. We just sat there in silence for a minute or two.

Eventually, she asked, “So, can you tell me about Lilly?” And that is how I introduced Haley to Lilly. It would soon be her turn to introduce Lilly to something new.


	43. Feel Like a Woman

I’d like to say Haley was gentler with me when I dressed as Lilly, but that wasn’t the case. Rather, she employed more mirrors to our extracurricular activities. Additionally, she preferred to go out with me only when I was dressed as Lilly.

We’d be in a restaurant and she often had a hand up my skirt. She’d even follow me into bathrooms so that we could get intimate in a hurry. It became a relief to be Henry since that’s when she gave me breaks. After all, I needed to work and attend some of my classes as Henry.

When she offered to help me study, I thought this meant our relationship was moving forward. But turned out Haley had a sex game in mind.

“I will come up with questions that would be likely for the professor to test you on,” she explained. “For every answer you get right, I will remove a piece of clothing, then perhaps after I’m nude, I’ll start putting on some lingerie?”

I gulped, knowing my IQ went down when I saw more of her. “And if I get things wrong?

“You start stripping.” Her smirk indicated there might be more to this.

“And if there are more questions?” I inquired.

She pursed her lips as if she hadn’t thought of that. It was an act; I’d bet on it. “I guess, then you’ll need some lingerie.”

Let’s just say, there were always too many questions. However, I did manage to get good grades, so it probably helped?

I had to get used to having Haley around when Lilly made an appearance. Therefore, it was inevitable that Karen and Pam would think Lilly was gay. I had prepared Haley for this encounter by letting her know they would think she was Hal. She even offered to try to pass as a guy, if I thought it would help, but I nixed the idea. I know how far something like that might change a person. I was walking proof. This was one of the few signs I could point to that showed we were in a relationship that was more than just physical.

So, when it came time for me to introduce my girlfriends to my… lover? Like I said, we had not defined our relationship. I asked for some time to prepare my friends.

“Hey Lilly,” Pam had spotted me first.

Karen rotated in her seat and waved. “What’s up girl? You said you had something important to tell us?”

As I pulled close, I was having second thoughts about the whole thing. I bit my bottom lip trying to think of what to say. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second then found the strength to speak. Looking at them in the eyes I said, “You know how I was talking about the two people I was confused about a few weeks ago?”

“Hal and Sam was it?” Pam had always been the best at listening.

I nodded. “Well… there was something about them I wasn’t honest about.”

They both went still. Finally, Karen asked, “What didn’t you tell us?”

I shifted from foot to foot. “They are kind of, um, girls not guys?”

Pam seemed shocked while Karen put a hand to her chest. “Oh, thank god,” she breathed. “I thought you were going to say you were pregnant or one of them had forced themselves on you.”

It was my turn to gape. “Wait. You’re not freaked out?”

Karen shrugged. “Eh, it’s college. You’re supposed to experiment.”

I then focused on Pam who hadn’t said anything. “Pam? Are you okay?”

She shook herself. “I’m fine. I just thought you were super into guys. You’re always smiling and flirting with them when they pass by or ask us something. And you had shown us just how big Hal was… oh, that was a dildo! I thought it seemed big.”

I was pondering how to address this when Haley stepped up from behind me and said, “We never really talked about a signal as to when I should come over. I hope now is okay?”

“Oh, sure.” I motioned between all three of the girls. “Haley, this is Karen and Pam. Karen and Pam, this is Haley.”

“So you’re Hal!” Karen said slyly.

“Yeah, Lilly told me about that. I even offered to dress as a guy if it would make her feel more comfortable,” Haley admitted.

“Really?” Pam returned to her stunned face. “Even with a-” She made a circular gesture around her crotch.

“A bulge?” Haley asked. “Sure, there are plenty of videos on how to make your own packing.”

“Packing?” Pam inquired. And for the next half hour or so we all talked about fake penises.

As Haley and I walked away, she was unusually quiet. I tried to engage with her and asked, “So what do you think about my friends?”

“Hmm? Oh, they’re great.” She then went back to her pensive expression.

It was unlike her to not say what was on her mind. So, I asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Instead of answering me directly, she asked her own question, “Have you ever thought about being with a guy?”

I screwed up my face. “What? Like sexually? No!”

She gave a sharp nod. “And what if there was no guy, just a cock?”

I recalled my mom using the fake penis all those years ago. “You mean a dildo? I don’t know. I never gave it much thought.” I was going to ask her why, but she cut me off.

“I’ve got to go do some shopping.” She leaned in for a kiss. “See you later tonight.” Then she headed off to the parking lot.

We had always been circumspect in our affections when I was dressed as Lilly. But this was a very open display. I touched my lips and scanned the people around me. A couple of people turned away as soon as they noticed my glance. One guy was beat red and was attempting to adjust himself.

Following his hand movements, I spied a rather pronounce tenting of his pants. He made a hasty retreat to the nearest building. As I regained my own composure, I took note of my own reactions.

A smile here, a wave there, I even registered a hair flip and a sway to my walk. I guess Pam was right, I actually did unconsciously flirt quite a lot. That made me then dwell on Haley’s question about whether I was interested in guys. Was I? I thought Sam and I had put this question to rest some time back, but all that I could really say was that I liked her attention. Was Lilly a way for me to get that attention that I subconsciously craved?

For the rest of the day, I partook in what can only be called, crotch watching. It wasn’t the fact I wanted to know what they looked like. I had one, after all. Rather, it was fascinating to see how they reacted to me when the guy in question noticed my prurient attentions. In short, it was an attraction meter I could gauge.

By the end of the day, I couldn’t say I was more or less interested in what guys could offer sexually. However, the rush of what power I held over them was extremely heady. It was pretty clear that I was a bit of a diva. It was this sense of feminine power that left me tingling and eager to see Haley.

It also dawned on me that Haley’s kiss was significant on another level. Sure, it was still a physical action, but it was also a sign that she cared. One that told me and others that I meant something to her.

After putting my things away at my place, I headed across the hall to knock on Haley’s door. From inside I heard her call out, “It’s open.”

Her place was dimly lit. She had a series of candles for illumination. The smell of cherries and a flower I couldn’t pin down filled the air. I could just make out her silhouette on the bed. “Haley?” I wanted to be sure.

“Please close and lock the door behind you.” She had a husky rasp to her voice. I followed her orders then approached the bed. She stood, which outlined her in a robe.

“I can barely see you,” I commented.

She turned to let the light of one of the candles play across her front. “Is that better?”

“Sort of.” Goosebumps were now running all over my body. The shadows were accentuating her features. As I watched, she disrobed revealing her nearly nude body.

The only part of her I couldn’t see was being covered by a harness with a realistic dick attached. Spellbound, I stood there as she used her right hand to stroke herself. “I realized today I hadn’t been fair to you.”

“You hadn’t?” My attention was glued to that rigid member jutting from her.

“Yes.” She strutted toward me. The dildo became lost to the shadows as she turned from the light. “I’ve forced you to be the man all this time. I think it’s about time I make a woman out of you.” Pressing close, her mouth found mine. I was keenly aware of her erection pressing against my pelvis.

“That’s not necessary,” I demurred.

“Of course it is.” With gentle pushing and prodding, she brought me to her bed. 

It was as if I was in an out of body experience as she positioned me on all fours. Hiking up my skirt she removed all the garments that kept her from her goal. I almost yelped as I felt the touch of her lips on my butt. 

“Got to make sure you’re ready for me,” she cooed. I heard the swish of a bottle right before her fingers found my anus. They were wet and slick with a substance that glided easily along my skin.

This time I did make noise when her middle finger entered me. I tightened my muscles to no avail.

“No, no, relax baby.” Her tone was calm and soothing. “You need to be open to me.”

With great effort, I eased up on the clenching. And when I got used to her digit shoved up inside of me, she introduced another finger and the whole pattern restarted.

She was kind and patient with me. The whole time she massaged my cavity while rubbing the cheeks of my ass with her other hand. At no time did she go for my cock.

By the third finger, I had drastically reduced my reactions to the experience. In fact, the area she was stroking inside of me was feeling pretty good. A short moan escaped me.

“Good. Good,” she praised. “You’re doing so well baby.”

She managed to get me moaning a tad more regularly when she suddenly removed her hands. Involuntarily, I whimpered at the loss of such exquisite stimulation. That’s when I felt the tip of something much larger at my opening.

When it penetrated, I was overwhelmed at just how full I felt. In an instant, I was turning warm and finding it hard to breathe. As more and more entered me, I started to panic. It was too large. I couldn’t possibly take it all in. It was at that moment the rest of Haley made contact with my body.

“And I’m in,” she stated proud at this feat. “Are you ready for me to move?”

I couldn’t speak so I just shook my head no. Gulping down air, I attempted to calm down. Eventually, I found my voice and said, “You know, this isn’t fair. You don’t get anything out of this.” I think I was bargaining in order to end this.

“Actually, I’m doing everything I can not to cum so hard right now.” She was now gripping my hips, having successfully navigated her rod inside me. “This strap-on has a plug that’s in my pussy. So when I move, I feel it.”

“Oh.” This image was arousing enough that it allowed me to relax. “I think you can move now.”

She went slow at first, which was unbelievably intimate. The friction she generated was a cross between an intensely pleasurable bowel movement and an intrusion of the deepest level.

As Haley picked up speed, I could feel my breasts bumping against my arms. This imagery clicked over in my head and I was now openly vocalizing my passion.

This was Haley’s cue to increase the urgency of her thrusts. “Oh fuck!” she yelled. “I love your fucking pussy! Tell me you want my dick!”

“Yes!” I moaned. “Give me all your dick!”

The slaps of our frames colliding echoed around the room. “My cock’s gonna cum!” Haley then devolved into deep grunts as she pounded my ass. With one massive thrust, her hands closed on me like a vice and she went stiff as the largest orgasm to date wracked her.

I had not achieved an orgasm with her, but my entire body tingled and was excruciatingly sensitive. I teared up when she slipped from me. Drunkenly, she fell exhausted onto the bed next to me.

I could see sweat glistening on her skin. By this time, my eyes had adjusted to the dim flickering. Her protruding phallus shone the brightest being coated in lube and its reflective surface.

I had to admit, there was something extremely appealing to seeing a girl with a dick of her own. Bending down, I took one nipple in my mouth to suck. She moaned and trembled at this. I switched to the other while my hands explored her stomach.

In a daring move, I took hold of her slimy cock and tugged. I pulled back my head so I could see her reactions. To my great satisfaction, her eyes flew open and down to see just what I was doing.

“Oh fuck!” she moaned.

“Do you like me playing with your dirty cock?” It was my turn to use the husky voice.

“Fuck yes! I’m going to-” She finished with a yell as another mind-shattering release was triggered. I watched enthralled as her body convulsed, simulating a male orgasm. When it was over, she lay lifeless sprawled out on the bed.

Deciding to give her a break, I found the release buckles on her harness and carefully stripped it off. It was amazing how large the dildo was in her pussy as well as how drenched everything was. I guess she had squirted just like before.

She let out a soft sigh as the tip of the inner plug departed her vagina. It was at that point, I discovered something interesting. Behind the long shaft that had gone into her was another toy. This one was shoved in her ass. As I tugged it free, she moaned. No wonder she had such a powerful reaction, she was stuffed with toys.

Carefully I laid them on a towel she had used for the lube. It was easier to see now that my eyes were dilated. I then returned to her, positioning myself between her legs.

By this time, I wasn’t shaking with over stimulation, but my dick was aching with the need to be released. I managed to get the tip of my sex next to hers when she grabbed me with one hand.

“No, not there,” she murmured, still wasted from her two monumental explosions. “Down there.” She angled my prick towards her asshole.

The nerves were back. Hands quivering with anticipation she handed me a pillow to put under her to give me better access to the new orifice. Even with the better angle, it took several tries to aim my penis correctly.

It was a shock when it went in for both of us. For me, the sensation was so tight. For her, it looked to re-energize her. Grabbing my hips, she guided me deeper.

“You’re so big! Oh damn! Oh, fuck yes!” It was encouragement of a sort. By the time I reached the end and my balls pressed against her, she was shaking violently.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this wasn’t going to last long. So, after a few strokes, we both found nirvana. Throbbing inside of her set off a chain reaction. It was only by some small miracle that I managed to pull out and not crush her before we both passed out.


	44. Dressing for Dummies

“Ouch!” I yelped. I was standing with my arms out while Max was fitting me for the dress he had made.

“If you don’t want to get poked then don’t move so much.” His words were garbled a bit since he had pins held in his mouth. “Besides-”

I looked down and scowled at him. “By god Max! I swear if you make a comment about not fearing a small prick or anything prick related, I’m walking.”

He held up a hand in surrender. “Okay, okay.” Then under his breath he mumbled, “Someone’s in a mood.”

I was about to snap at him again when Alex shuffled in from Max’s bedroom. We had made multiple plans today. Max needed Lilly in order to fit the dress correctly while I had promised Reggan to help her dress as a guy. She had gone into Max’s bedroom with Alex to change, but had not made an appearance yet.

“Hey Alex. Is Reggan, I mean Reggie almost done?” Anything was better than focusing on Max’s terrible abilities when it came to pinning clothes.

Alex went and slumped on Max’s couch deflating into its cushions. “He’s green,” she muttered in a lifeless tone.

“What’s that mean?” Max tilted his head to look at her.

“Ow! Watch what you’re doing Max!” He had jabbed me again. “Judging by Alex’s mood that clearly means Reggan is upset or maybe scared?”

Alex lifted a hand forming a finger gun. She aimed it at me and stated, “Pow.”

“See?” I looked back down at Max. “I hit a bullseye or something. Am I done enough so I can go check on Reggan?” I then growled at myself, “Reggie, Reggie, he wants to be called Reggie.”

Max, for once, stayed focus on his task but I could tell he didn’t understand my admonishment of myself. His eyebrows raised with only a flicker of his gaze to me.

I sighed, “Confidence in one’s gender is really tied in to perception. How you view yourself, how others view you, I imagine… he is freaking out right now.”

With one final pin, he nodded. “Okay, then my lioness. That should hold. You can retract those claws and go check on your cub.” As I walked over to his bedroom, I could hear him mutter, “I know ladies are supposed to be fierce, but that’s just plain ferocious.”

Entering the room, it struck me just how dark it was. I called out while looking for the light switch, “Reggie?” Finding the toggle, I flipped it on.

A small form was huddled on the bed. Reggie had his knees up and was wrapping his arms around them in an upright fetal position. “Hey, Lilly,” came a small voice from the curled human ball.

My heart went out to him. I turned and I could close the door behind me so we could have some privacy. Then I made my way over to the bed and sat beside my friend. We sat in silence for several moments before I spoke, “The first time I was seen by someone I didn’t fully trust, it involved hiding an erection.”

Reggie’s head perked up at this. “What?”

I chuckled and bobbed my head. “Yeah, I had a friend growing up who convinced me to play dress up. I think we were about to kiss and I got excited down there.”

“So, she was the first to see you all dressed up?” Reggie’s curiosity was taking hold.

“Well, yes. But she had first seen me in one of her swimsuits. I really liked Sam and since she was the one to suggest it, I wasn’t afraid of her seeing me.” I blew out a breath. “It was her mom that caught us. We had just enough time to hide-” I gestured towards my crotch, “-but we didn’t think about the fact that I was still wearing a dress.”

Reggie lowered his knees. “What did you do?”

“We… convinced everyone that I liked dressing like a girl.” It had been so long since I thought about the memory that I marveled at how strange it sounded out loud.

“So? You don’t like dressing like a girl?” Reggie was confused.

I waved a hand in a noncommittal fashion. “I found it stimulating. And it was a way for me not to lose my friend. But now? I don’t know. My perspective on things seems so much broader than most of the people I know. Heck, even my relationship with my mother is probably better all thanks to Lilly. It’s just a part of who I am, I guess.”

“I don’t think I’d want to switch back and forth,” Reggan admitted. “I just never felt comfortable with what everyone expected me to do and like. My dad was my hero. I understood why he did what he did. Standing up to bullies, protecting the ones he loved, and when he wanted something done, he went out and did it.”

“What about your mom?” I asked.

Reggie shrugged, “She was beautiful and an excellent cook. But she wasn’t a fighter. If something bothered her, she’d just stay silent and take it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, I just couldn’t be that way.”

I was careful to point out, “Not all females are timid. I know this is a bad example, but I think Max is a little afraid of me when I’m Lilly.” This last I said in a conspiratorial whisper.

Reggie chuckled, “True. But I just like myself more when I can see a boy in the mirror.” He motioned towards the full-length closet mirror doors Max had.

I took a moment and filled in what wasn’t being said, “And you’re afraid that if others see you, and they don’t see a male, then the spell is broken.”

Unable to speak, Reggie gave a small nod.

I had an idea. Taking Reggie’s hand, I pulled him over to the large mirror. “Why don’t you tell me what you see?” Standing side by side, I spotted him giving me a once over.

“I don’t know. A sexy redhead in a blue and black party dress with a killer smile.” Reggie’s observation was very flattering.

In fact, this was the first moment in which I could appreciate Max’s work. The dress was modeled in the style of a little black dress that formed a choker, but left a good portion of my chest open. It was sleeveless and had ruching down the left side, while the right had a shimmering blue fabric that wrapped around my right side. With it just stopping above my knees and hugging all my curves, it was definitely a head turner. I had to shake my own head to refocus. “First, thank you for the complement. And that is a very male response, but I was talking about you. How do you see yourself in this reflection?”

“Oh! Uh, I don’t know.” He gave a shrug. “Maybe an ordinary guy. A little on the small side.”

I smiled and nodded. “Good. That’s the type of first impressions others will have as well.” Now I was going to push him a bit. “So why don’t you introduce me to this young man?” I pointed to his reflection.

“Um, okay. Lilly, this is Reggie. Reggie, Lilly.” With a subconscious effort, he waved between me and the mirror.

Now I was going to play dirty. In my most sultry voice, I asked, “So Reggie, do I make you hard?”

“Damn straight you do.” The response was immediate and had a husky rasp.

I couldn’t help it. I blushed and took a small step back. Putting a hand up to my mouth, I covered my shock as my mouth formed an “O.”

Eyes popping wide, Reggie spun toward me. “I’m sorry Lilly. I didn’t think. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

I lowered my hand from my mouth and waved it away. “No, no, I just… wasn’t expecting so much… male!”

“Really?” Reggie brightened at this comment.

“Oh yeah,” I agreed. “I think your problem is Reggan.”

“What? How am I the problem?” He tilted his head to one side. “You’re starting to channel Alex.”

I shook my head. “Hear me out. When you have the ability to switch between genders, you both are and aren’t both people.”

“Okay?” This was said drawn out, as if he was doubting that I was going to make sense at some point.

“What I mean is, that no matter how much you are male or female, there is always a tiny part that remains from the other side. Your Reggan side is small, but she is female in your mind. And as such, she is afraid.”

“Hmm.” Reggie was processing this.

I tried a different way to explain. “When we have fears, it’s usually for a reason. Most of the time that reason is to protect ourselves. Sometimes they’re very reasonable, like fire burns and hurts if you touch it, so don’t do that. Other times, it can form with an association to something traumatic like… uh, the fear of color purple. Because maybe you saw purple when you got hurt bad at some point.”

Reggie was nodding following along. “So, you think it’s my Reggan side that is scared to face the world?”

“Maybe?” I bobbed my head from side to side. “The Reggan part of you knows you are a girl. She is protecting that part, but I also imagine she wants to protect Reggie at the same time.”

“How would that protect-” he trailed off following this line of thought. “-If others don’t see Reggie like I do, then Reggie goes away and all I’m left with is Reggan…” He reached up and rubbed his forehead. “This really is a mind fuck.”

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times. “I wouldn’t have phrased it so rough, but yes. It is a challenge.”

Putting his hand down he looked at me. “Then how do you deal with it?”

I opened my arms wide palms up. “I think I’ve just accepted that I’m both. And someone else’s opinion doesn’t really change that.”

“So, I’m still me no matter what others think?” He said this soft and to himself trying it on mentally.

“Now I will say, others seeing you the way you want to be seen does reinforce your own self-image. But that’s what everyone does, every day, all the time.” I gestured to the mirror at my own reflection. “You don’t think girls dress up like this so they feel tough, do you?”

He shook his head. “I suppose not.”

“Looking at myself, I feel glamorous, sexy, and confident.” I turned back to Reggie. “Did you know I went and crotch watched? I’m beginning to think I’m really hot!”

Reggie’s mouth fell open. “You’re just now realizing how hot you are?”

I pointed at him. “See? Everyone else had an opinion about me that didn’t affect who I was until I actively acknowledged it. Now, I know Lilly has power.”

“Yeah, over crotches,” Reggie quipped.

My smile turned devilish. “That power is considerable, I should know.”

He went really quiet at this. Finally, he mentioned, “Alex can get me to do almost anything when I’m aroused… huh?”

I rubbed his shoulder to reassure him. “See? You’re totally a guy. Now, do you want to go out and see the rest of your friends?”

“Well, it can’t be too bad,” he admitted. “The only other person out there who hasn’t seen me is Max and hell, we’re doing this at his place.”

“Great! Now since I’m dressed like a model allow me to introduce you.” I scampered over to the door, flinging it wide, not waiting for a response. “Lady and gentleman! Allow me to introduce you to the man, the myth, the legend! Mr. Reggie!” With that, I entered the living room and stepped to one side. I moved my arms as if I were showing off a brand-new car. To my relief, Reggie stood in the doorway.

“Hey,” he said.

Crossing his arms in front of him, Max complained, “Great. Now I’m the second most dominant force in the room.”

Putting a fist on one hip, I glowered at Max. “Really Max?”

Holding his hands up, he surrendered. “Fine, fine, the order goes Reggie, Lilly, me, Henry, and then Alex.”

I pursed my lips, considering this order.

Max raised a finger to make a point. “Remember, Henry looked to me when he had a problem.”

I softened relaxing my stance. “Okay, but what about Reggan?”

We both turned to ask, but Alex and Reggie were trying to inhale each other in a passionate embrace.

“I don’t think we’ll be seeing Reggan for a while,” Max stated. Clapping his hands, he got everyone’s attention. “This calls for a small get-together. Reggie can make his debut and Lilly can show off my brilliance!”

I should have known Max would throw himself in there somewhere. But thinking about it, this might be what Reggie needed. “I can bring Haley and a couple of friends.”

I could see Max make some mental calculations. “That should be enough people, I think.” 

I snorted. He was a bit fastidious and didn’t want to clean up a big mess. To be honest, we loved Max for this quality. It was another reason why we liked meeting at his place.

I looked to Reggie to see if this was okay. He had a possessive arm around Alex, who was blissful in her expression as she snuggled into her man. Reggie gave me a thumbs up. 

I smiled. “Okay. Then Max, tell us when you want to have us all over and I’ll arrange the rest.”

Maxwell made small quick claps with his hands. “Fantastic! I’m going to have my first fashion show!” When I raised an eyebrow he amended, “And a coming out party for Reggie of course. There’s no reason we can’t multitask.” This last bit he ended with a sniff.

I sighed, “Well, at least I won’t have to worry what I’ll be wearing.” I paused figuring a little ego stroking wouldn’t hurt. “It is a gorgeous dress, Max. I believe Reggie’s words were hot as hell?”

“Ow!” A thumping sound came from Alex and Reggie. Facing the couple, we could see Reggie rubbing his head while Alex shot daggers at him.

Spying us, Alex smiled, “Sorry Lilly. You are super hot, but Reggie needs to know who his girl is.”

I exchanged a look with Max who shrugged and said, “Maybe Henry is the low man on the totem pole?”


	45. All Together Fine

We ended up deciding on holding the party a few weeks out. After thinking it over, Reggie didn’t want the party to proclaim he was a male, arguing it would defeat the purpose to him psychologically. So, since we were all fashion majors, we’d each make a piece or two to make it a true show.

Since I would know all of the people at the party and the fact Max wanted the dress he made to be the final piece, I was designated as the de facto model. This meant I’d spend the first half of the party mostly changing, but Max promised he’d be just as much of a trooper and help me dress in the bedroom.

This meant the day of the party I spent a bit more time waxing, tweezing, and taping everything in place. I was crossing my fingers that there’d be no wardrobe malfunctions. Unfortunately, this did mean Haley was a bit more handsy than usual.

“Haley, that’s my ass,” I groused.

“It sure is,” she purred.

We went to Max’s place early to set up the room and prep all the outfits. I was currently trying to work my way into one of Alex’s pieces. When she showed us, it seemed simple enough, but without her there I was finding it hard to make sense of all the various straps. I was bent over, trying to sort things out around my legs. Thankfully, the body briefer I chose to wear kept all the padding nicely in place. I wouldn’t think it’d make an attractive target, but Haley’s hand had other ideas.

“It looks just fine the way it is,” she assured.

“It’s not even on,” I snapped back. “Can’t you wait out in the living room?”

She pouted, “But no one else has arrived yet. Besides, I much prefer this view.”

“Max!” I called for help.

“She’s your lover,” he commented with a blithe sense of nonchalance.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. “If I don’t get into this, we’re not having a show. And with Haley groping me, I’m never getting in this thing. And if that’s the case, no one will see your dress.”

Snapping his fingers, Max stated, “I just remembered. I haven’t selected any of the music for the show. Haley, can you be a dear and sort all that out?”

She gave my butt another smack, then sighed. “Very well.” She then headed to the living room to find the stereo system. Calling over her shoulder, she said, “I hope you like sexy, cause that’s what you’re getting.”

“Perfect!” Max and I replied in unison.

“Oh! I was just putting my foot in the wrong hole.” With that I stood pulling the garment on. Peering in Max’s mirrored closet doors, I was surprised that it looked like a normal floral dress. This was actually rather odd for one of Alex’s designs. Though I did wonder what all the internal strapping was about if she was just making a basic dress? I was about to make this comment to Max when a knock came from his front door.

“Looks like it’s party time,” Max said while he headed out to go greet the new arrivals.

Max had closed the bedroom door behind him, so I could just make out a few voices. One sounded like Karen and I could definitely hear Max cry out, “Reggie and Alex! If it isn’t my two favorite love birds!” I imagined more introductions were being made. 

Soon a low throb of music pulsed into the room. This was followed by a quick knock and Max popping his head in. “Honey, you ready? Everyone’s here.”

I nodded and straightened my shoulders. “I’m ready. Do I need any last-minute adjustments?”

He looked me up and down. “Everything seems as it should. Oh, except…” he beckoned me closer. I stepped forward as he reached up and artfully pulled a strand of my hair forward. 

“Okay,” I smiled at this small detail. Grinning I was psyching myself up.

“Stay right there as I set the mood.” He closed the door once more, but since I was close enough, I could hear him clearly. “Ladies and gentleman. Thank you so much for joining us today. We have four marvelous designers who can’t wait to show off their imagination and brilliance. Our model for the day will be the ever-lovely lady Lilly. When each outfit is out here, the designer of the piece will talk about their work so that we may all better appreciate their skill. Now are you all ready to become fabulously fashionable?” This question was followed by some rowdy hooting and cheering. “Very well, allow me to introduce our first piece designed by our very own Ms. Alex!”

Max reappeared in the doorway and got me moving out in front of everyone. Let’s just say I had some really classy friends as one could tell by all the cat calls and wolf whistles. Rolling my eyes, I moved to the staging area that Max had set up for this occasion. As I posed, Alex stood and began talking about her work.

I used this opportunity to scan the room. Karen was beaming like a crazy person, entranced by Alex’s words. Haley was also intense in her look. But I don’t think she was licking her lips because she was interested in the clothing.

Reggie was looking very relax and smug on the couch. There was obvious pride in his eyes as he paid close attention to Alex.

And Pam? I had to do a double take. Her attention kept slipping towards Reggie. She was playing with her hair and if I didn’t know any better, blushing? Wow, I did not see that reaction coming.

“And the best part is, it blooms!” My focus was back to Alex since she was leaning in and reaching for a fold of the dress. I almost squealed when I felt something come loose.

Next thing I knew Panels of the dress were falling open revealing dark vibrant jewel tone fabrics. What was once a simple sundress now revealed itself to be a very serviceable cocktail dress. There was a chorus of shocked intakes of breath, including my own.

“And now you’re changed for an evening get together!” Alex beamed at the gathering. After a stunned silence, we all began clapping.

Max then reappeared. “This bit of magic will be a hard act to follow. But we’ll try our best with our very own Lilly’s piece next.” The whole time, he was ushering me back into the bedroom. “We’ll be back in just a moment. Please take this opportunity to discuss the first offering.”

Once inside the room, Max joined me as we madly stripped away Alex’s dual dress and into my creation. Fortunately, it was much simpler to get into. It was only a couple of minutes and I was back in front of my friends.

“Our education is training each of us to be professionals. So, I wanted to make something we could all use to portray a level of sophistication.” My business skirt suit had all the hallmarks of a nice tailored design.

Reggie cleared his throat, “Maybe not all of us?”

I smiled conceding the point. But Pam began giggling with force. You’d of thought Reggie had given the best one liner in the world. Oh, she was crushing hard.

Trying not to get too distracted, I replied, “Well, all us ladies could use some nice business wear. But what’s the one thing that makes us not want to go through the hassle of wearing something like this?”

“It’s uncomfortable,” cried Karen.

I pointed at her. “Exactly! But this design uses some deceptively comfy fabric. I invite all of you to come up and touch.”

One by one they marveled at the light and springy feel of the suit as I moved in it. Haley was the last. She took the opportunity to once again feel me up and whisper, “I bet I can turn this boss lady into a wanton woman.”

I couldn’t help it, I went red. Haley’s body was blocking the view of the majority of the room, so I was able to reach down and pry her hand away from my ass. In a bright tone, I announced, “Okay, next up is Reggie’s!” Then I turned and high-tailed it into Max’s bedroom.

I almost trampled Max in my rush. Steadying myself, I went about changing clothes.

“My, that Haley is rather insistent, isn’t she?” Max observed.

“You saw that?” I asked a bit embarrassed.

He turned to me a raised eyebrow showing his confusion. “You don’t sound too happy about that?”

I tossed my head from side to side. “Yes, no, I don’t know.” I was relieved to see Reggie’s ensemble was just a basic white blouse with charcoal dress slacks. “It’s just… she’s physically attentive, but we don’t talk.”

“Honey, you have heard that actions speak louder than words, haven’t you?” Max crossed his arms.

Pulling my head through the blouse, I reached up to free my hair from the neck opening. “That’s just it. I know she’s into me in a sexual way. I just don’t know if she likes the rest of me.”

Max snorted, “Well, take it from me. From my perspective, you’re spoiled with a great catch.”

Studying Max, I saw the bitterness and loneliness he held in his eyes. It then hit me. Out of all my friends, I had never heard of Maxwell ever mentioning a past relationship. Even Karen and Pam spoke of guys they went out with on occasion. “Max?” Concern suffused my voice.

He waved it away. “Like I said, you’re not my type. To be honest, I’m not really sure what my type is.”

After putting on the slacks, I walked over to him. Reaching up, I cupped the side of his face, catching a stray tear with my thumb. In the gentlest way possible I said, “You’ll find him. Sure, you’re not Henry’s type.” I then leaned in and placed a chase kiss on his mouth. “But I know I think you’re cute. And it’s like you said, you just haven’t found the one who is feisty enough.”

My friend’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, but a grin spread wide across his face. He then grabbed me in a tight hug. “Thank you, darling. You are the most charming, bitchiest, beautiful person I know.” He pulled away. “Now get that hiney out there and make our boy proud.”

Maxwell didn’t show his heart on his sleeve, but that exchange just proved to me how large it was. But I couldn’t think too hard on that because I was back in front of our audience. That’s when I realized, I wasn’t wearing anything that special. I was getting a bit worried for Reggie. I was even more befuddled when he stood up in front of me.

“What’s the main difference between women’s pants and guys pants, ladies?” Reggie asked.

As one they all called out, “They got pockets!”

“True!” Reggie agreed. He then stepped to one side. “But if you have pockets that you could use, could you have such a shapely silhouette?”

This got a few “no” answers and a wolf whistle from Haley.

“Exactly!” Reggie smirked. “This is sexy. It’s not functional, but it looks good. There’s no unsightly bulges ruining the fabric.”

My eyes nearly bugged out when I spied Pam checking Reggie’s bulge out. I don’t think she was expecting anyone to notice, so I quickly looked away. That’s when I realized Reggie had something stashed away and had retrieved it.

What he revealed was an absolutely gorgeous trench coat. It was black with silver hardware and piping. When he helped me into it, I could tell it had some weight to it, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“I present to you, your alternative accessory to purses. Your functional utility trench coat.” As he pointed out the various detail work that made it fashionable, I admired how it hung like a dream. Things were tapered in just the right spots to accentuate the feminine form.

Nearly everything I had seen Reggie make up to this point had hid away those curves. But that made sense. He was making clothing for himself. However, when he made it for others, he did not shy away from body contours.

“Now let’s play a little game, ladies. What do you think you might need when you’re out and about and have to rely on a purse?” He went around the room giving each of them a chance to say something.

As things were mentioned, he showed where each of the items was stored in the coat. Pens, wallet, and keys, were easy starters. Phones, tissues, and feminine hygiene products followed next. Those too were squirreled away in various pockets. Even a tablet was produced from a massive space inside the lining.

The game finally came to an end when Alex threw up her hands and shouted, “A bouquet!”

Reggie paused at this. “Really? A bouquet? Now you’re just being silly.” He shook his head and turned to me. Then like a snake he whipped his hand to my sleeve and from it produced what I can only presume was a magic prop. Because yes, even a fist full of flowers was held in Reggie’s coat of many things.

As he took his bows, I headed back to the bedroom for the final outfit. However, before I left the room, I saw Reggie present the flowers to Pam. I know he was mad about Alex, but that action was interesting.

Shucking out of Reggie’s design meant I once again got to enjoy the feel of Max’s masterpiece. It was no exaggeration that it felt like a luxury. He had confided in me that he had gone fabric shopping with Alex. While there he had her rub her face in each and every bolt of cloth he selected.

This may sound a little mean, but it was one of Alex’s favorite things to do. This time around though, he only went with the fabrics that Alex refused to put down. She might have even cuddled me to death when she found out the dress was made of her choices.

I really couldn’t blame her. I was subconsciously running my hands over the bodice. The only thing that saved me from Alex was all the pins that were still in the dress at the time.

Spotting myself in the mirror, it was awe inspiring. With finished hems and detailing, the dress managed to look even better than before.

“I’m going to get laid tonight,” I told my reflection.

“Honey, you might just get laid out in my living room if you aren’t careful.” Max was smug, but boy had he earn it. “Especially with how that Haley of yours has been all over you.”

This once again brought a damper to my mood. I sighed, “Yeah.”

“Are you still all moody about not talking with her?” Max spun me around and held me at arm’s length. “It’s really simple. If you want to talk with her, you just open your mouth and have a conversation. Who knows, you can even talk about your relationship.”

“I’ve tried,” I complained. “Every time I start, she distracts me… and we-”

He held up a hand. “To much information. Look, if she can derail you, chances are you can do the same to her. Try picking a moment where she can’t capitalize on distracting you.”

Biting my lower lip, I nodded.

“Good! Now let’s show the world how magnificent I am.” He gave me a small shove to the doorway.

“Max?” I asked over one shoulder before stepping out. “Can we still be friends when you’re famous?”

“Not if you don’t scoot that pretty little ass of yours.” We both were snickering as I took my place.

It shocked me how quiet everyone was, but then I noticed their stunned faces. At least the three who hadn’t seen the dress before. Alex and Reggie were grinning like fools, seeing the others react.

As Max cleared his throat, it broke the spell and they all spoke at the same time.

Karen was the loudest. “Yeah, shake it mama!”

Pam was more reverent with her, “So gorgeous!”

And Haley’s words sent shivers down my spine with her sultry, “Fuck! That’s hot!”

After Max’s presentation, I surprised my fashion friends with Karen’s musical talent. I had begged and pleaded with her to perform musically for them. It wasn’t until Pam also added her support that she capitulated. All in all, it was a great evening. I just hoped having a deep conversation with Haley could be as successful.


	46. The After Party

I’d like to say after the party, we all went home and I finally had the talk with Haley like Max suggested. Turns out, I’m pretty terrible at initiating that type of conversation. Perhaps my past had something to do with that.

After all, when I made a change with Sam, I ended up dating Erica, and making Sam and I miserable by extension. Then when I broke it off with Erica, I left us both crying. These were moments I considered as steps to move forward, but they hurt like hell.

Sure, I’d tip toe around the subject. “Hey, Haley do you like me?” I’d ask.

“What’s not to like?” She’d respond by grabbing various parts of my body and that would lead to sex.

Another time I’d say something like, “So, I was thinking about us.”

“Me too!” And it would lead to sex.

And then there was the whole incident of how we got into sexual role-playing in a big way. She had met up with me after class to have dinner. On the way back I mentioned, “Haley can we talk about how we relate to each other?” I figured a public setting might be one way to keep this from getting derailed.

She gave me a quizzical look, then brightened. “Oh? Oh! Interesting.” Her expression could only be described as devious.

I was rather uncertain about that look. “Uh, what’s interesting?” I was afraid to hear the answer.

She nodded. “Don’t worry. I think I know what you mean. Besides, this will be perfect for my birthday!” Well, at least that was some information.

“Your birthday?” I felt really bad that I had no idea when it was. Of course, that was the problem. She could talk about nonpersonal things all day long. However, anything that seemed close to her was a complete mystery.

“Yeah. It’s at the end of October.” This was only a couple days away.

“You’re a Halloween baby?” I exclaimed.

She shrugged, “I suppose. I never really celebrated it.”

“We’ve got to do something special for you that day!” If I was dating this girl, I needed to at least try to show her I cared. But what do you get someone who can literally buy anything they want?

“Okay.” Her response was blunt. “Then I’ll get the stuff and you can meet me in my room then.” Before I could ask what she meant, she leaned in gave me a kiss and walked away.

“What stuff?” I called after her. I had stopped in my tracks, watching her depart.

She looked over her shoulder and smiled. “For the special thing you’re going to do for me. It might cost a bit, so I’m going to pay for it.”

What was she talking about? Pay for what? Did she even know how birthdays were supposed to work? I shuddered then muttered under my breath, “This is going to be a sex thing. I’ll bet you anything on it.”

When the evening came, sure enough, it was a sex thing. She showed up at my place with packages. Inside said boxes were some high-end prostheses as well as a cheerleader uniform.

At first, I thought the uniform was a cheap costume, but I forgot who I was dealing with. Nope, it was an actual cheerleader uniform. She ordered me to put everything on and come to her room when I was done since she needed to get ready.

I had not gone stingy on my own set of padding and breast forms, but this stuff was a step above even those. There was even glue to attach these long silicone pads that acted as both hip and buttock extensions. 

When I finally finished, I was stunned at how well it all looked. If it wasn’t for the fact that cheerleading involved a lot of skill, practice, and sweating, I might have considered joining. I was pretty sure being in love with how the outfit made me look would help me qualify in any way.

Tying my hair back in a ponytail, I was ready to face Haley and see what this was all about. Leaving my place, I crossed the hall and knocked on her door. To my shock, it swung open. Inside the room seemed pitch dark. Only the light from the hall cast any illumination into the room.

“Haley?” Maybe she had to leave and just forgot to tell me. I reached in and tried the light switch. Flipping the toggle up proved to have no effect. I took a nervous step in, trying to get a better look around.

I was thinking that it would be odd that only this half of the building would lose power. I took another step in. I knew where she had a lamp. Maybe it was just a burned-out bulb. I was a couple of steps in now, trying to let my eyes adjust when everything happened at once.

The door slammed closed behind me. Then a body grabbed hold of me from behind. I could feel the unmistakable bulge in the person’s pants.

Holy shit! Haley had been subdued by this intruder and I was next! I spun trying to fight my way free. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see. Though I eventually struck something. “Ouch!” That something was heavily padded or armored. When the arms released me, I scrambled away tripping over something big. This made me go sprawling forward. Fortunately, I landed on Haley’s bed. I was about to start yelling when I registered a voice.

“It’s me. It’s me! Lilly, don’t panic, it’s me!” It was Haley’s voice, but I still couldn’t see anything. Then a light exploded into my vision.

Blinking several times, she finally came into focus. The armor I had ran my hand into was the padding of her football gear. “Haley?” I panted.

She removed her helmet. “Sorry, I thought startling you might be fun.” She looked down at the helmet she had removed. “Guess not. But I’m glad I wore all this.”

“Okay, okay, okay.” I was attempting to sooth myself. “But, why are you wearing it?”

“Hmm?” She looked up and smiled. “So we could relate differently.”

My mouth opened and closed several times, but didn’t work. 

She moved forward. “In this scenario, I just lead my team to a resounding victory. Now you are the lead cheerleader that is going to celebrate with the hero of the day.”

“I am?” I was still trying to catch up with her logic. I looked down at what I wore, then back up what she had on. In realization I said, “I am.” This was meant more as a statement of fact, but she took it as agreement. Next thing I knew she was all over me.

“Ah yeah baby!” she thundered. “I’m on top of the world right now. And it’s my birthday!”

Her last few words struck a chord somewhere in my head. It actually was her special day. And if this is what she wanted, then damn it, I’d cheer her on.

Guiding me down to the floor she had me kneel as she undid her uniform’s pants. This let me see up close and personal what was causing her tent. Turned out, my prosthesis wasn’t the only realistic one she had bought. Her massive cock was a twin to my own.

Pulling my head close, she peered down and growled in a husky tone, “Suck me baby.”

I obliged, trying to do everything I liked when it had been done to me. Running my tongue along the underside of her prick. Then giving full eye contact as I pressed the dick into my mouth.

I knew I couldn’t deep throat this monster, so I reached up and stroked the base. I think that really moved something since Haley began thrusting her hips in a frantic rhythm.

With a cry she grabbed the back of my head pressing me down. I was a bit too surprised to choke as it hit the back of my mouth. But I could feel her shudder with release.

When she let go, I quickly pulled my lips away coughing and eyes watering as I sucked down some air.

“You did good baby,” she gasped for oxygen as well. “Now get on the bed and put this under your butt.” She bent down and picked up some sort of wedge pillow that must have fallen off the bed.

The pillow was oddly shaped, but it shifted my hips up to give better access to my anus. 

While I was situating myself, Haley had finished removing her pants and was lubing up her cock. Getting on the bed she moved between my legs, ready for more action. Reaching down, she moved the string of the thong panties she had me put on to one side, exposing the orifice she was after.

As she guided the head of her dick in, she said, “I wanted to look you in the eyes as we fucked.”

I wasn’t entirely prepared for this intrusion. But between my own arousal, the lube, and the fact this wasn’t the first, fifth, or even tenth time I had anal sex, we made it work.

I know this still wasn’t technically talking about our relationship, but this level of physical intimacy meant a lot to me. As I moaned from the fullness and began to drift my focus away, Haley commanded me.

“Lilly! Look at me.” Her green eyes were dilated and intense with passion.

Her strokes grew more vigorous as she impaled me time and again. The whole time we were sharing each other’s souls as I dove deep into those two portals of emerald fire. I was approaching a precipice. It was terrifying, yet glorious.

From Haley’s breathing I could tell she was close as well. However, I beat her to it. Shuddering from a strange force, my body vibrated with an orgasm unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I gave voice to this feeling in a moan of ecstasy. Tears streamed from my face, running down the sides of my head.

Then she joined me. Her normal moans and sighs were replaced with grunts and growls. With her in this position, I could practically feel her pour into me through her crotch. It was as if she was simultaneously pushing her release out while it also got torn from her.

We lay there, her body collapsed on top of me. I cradled her, still feeling vulnerable myself. I found her thick shaft inside me comforting rather than an irritation at the moment. As I petted the back of her head, she muttered something.

“What was that?” I asked.

She managed to clear her throat and say more clearly, “We got to do more of this.”

“Sure,” I agreed. Yeah, it wasn’t the talk I wanted, but Max did have a point. Actions do speak louder than words. Perhaps that’d be enough. I sighed drawing comfort from Haley, the girl I definitely had feelings for and who possibly felt the same.


	47. Moving at the Speed of Life

It’s hard to say where the time went. Schoolwork filled a good portion of it. I did have a few more parties with my friends. We even got Karen to perform for my fashion friends. In fact, her and Max really got along.

When Lilly met up with the girls, I found out more about Max through Karen than I did through him. She even managed to set him up on a date with one of her musician friends named Andre.

“He’s not, by chance, an African-American guy that looks like he’s on the football team?” I asked.

Karen’s eyes went wide. “You mean you know him too?”

I shook my head. “No, I’ve just caught glimpses of Max talking with a guy like that. So, they’re dating?”

Karen bit her lip. “I’d say going out. It’s still early. Andre’s a sweetheart and, given how talented he is with a saxophone, I just wish he was straight so I could see what else he can do with those hands and lips of his.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Karen! You’re terrible,” I squealed. That’s when I noticed Pam hadn’t joined in. “Pam?” Looking in her direction, she seemed distracted, like her mind was elsewhere.

Hearing her name, she regained focus. “What? Oh, sorry. Did you ask something?”

Karen beat me to the punch. “Honey? You okay? Is there something on your mind?”

“No, yes, I don’t know.” She ran her hands through her hair.

“Well, that’s a lot of choices. I’ll go ahead and select yes. You look like you’re ready to blow,” I pointed out.

“It’s Reggie. I keep dropping hints that I’m interested, but he only sort of responds.” She balled her fists in her lap and looked down. “I’m not sure if I’m doing something wrong. And with the winter break almost here… what if it’s too late?”

“I thought he was going out with that Alex girl?” Karen remarked.

“That’s what I thought. Well, I didn’t realize that at first. But I noticed the second time we got together.” Karen and I just stared at her. “Okay, maybe the fourth or fifth time. The thing is, I finally clued in they were an item.”

“So, then what’s with all the moping?” I inquired.

Her voice went down to a near whisper, “Last time we got together… We sort of, um, kissed.”

“Oh, you little home wrecker!” I could tell Karen was being playful, but Pam shrunk more in on herself, if that was possible.

“Oh, Pam.” I reached out and rubbed her shoulder. “Karen is just messing with you.”

Seeing Pam’s reaction, Karen sounded very contrite. “Oh Pam! That was a dumb thing for me to say. Of course, you’re not a home wrecker. You’re the sweetest person I know.”

“Thanks,” Pam replied in a weak timid voice.

“What if Lilly talked with Reggie to help clear things up?” Karen offered.

“I suppose I could, if you think it’d help? But I am kind of terrible talking about relationships,” I confessed.

Both Karen and Pam gave me a funny look. It was Pam who mentioned, “But you have such a great relationship with your girlfriend?”

I paused, then stated, “Girlfriend might be a strong term to use.”

“Oh my god! You still haven’t defined the relationship with her?” Karen blurted.

“Not so much.” My smile felt fragile.

“Have you tried being direct?” Pam asked.

“Yes, and it went sideways.” There was clear frustration in my tone.

“You need to be more forceful,” Karen asserted.

This got my hackles up. “Well, at least-” Thankfully, my brain caught up with my mouth before I said something I regretted. I finished with, “-at least I’m not sad.”

There was still obvious pain in Karen’s eyes. Sure, Pam and I had weird relationships to deal with, but at least we had things to deal with. She gave a tight smile acknowledging I didn’t hurt her in an overt fashion. “Well, we’re all three a sorry lot. I can’t even date a guy. Did you know I even asked Max for help?”

“Oh?” Pam and I perked up at hearing this.

“Yeah.” Karen reached up and pushed her glasses back up on her nose. “He told me the only straight boy he knew was Lilly’s brother, but even he was in some sort of relationship.” We all sighed.

“Hey!” Pam straightened. “Are we ever going to meet your brother?”

What to say? I shrugged, “We practically have opposite schedules.” That seemed like the safest way to address this. Fortunately, Karen’s playful behavior kicked in at the right moment.

“Ah, there’s our maneater. Seducing all the taken men on campus.” This was said with such a huge smile that Pam couldn’t take it any other way than Karen teasing her.

Still it was adorable, Pam diving into her sweater like a frightened turtle. “No, that’s not what I mean!” We laughed and let lighter conversation take over.

When finals came around there was no time for anyone. I had to even put off Haley’s nightly visits. This made her a bit grumpy the next day, but she understood.

I decided to go home for the winter break and see mom and Eric. I was halfway home when I had a panic attack. Would Sam be in town? What would I say if I saw her?

To my relief and shame, I found out that Sam had decided to stay at her school to take winter classes. Mom was a wellspring of information.

“Nancy was a bit sad to hear her daughter wasn’t coming home for the holidays,” mom informed me. “But Sam did grow up in a rather ambitious family. Speaking of which, I’m now a professional consultant for the Morgans.”

“Really?” This was news to me, but, then again, I didn’t leave much room for anything outside my personal sphere. “What about all your regular clients?”

Mom grinned. “Without my daughter, I had to scale back and raise my rates.” When she saw the look on my face, she added, “It’s okay Hen.” She rubbed her hands together. “As it is, I’m beginning to feel the stress of the work in my hands. So, this is a good thing.”

It was odd hearing her use a nickname for me, especially since it was for the male part of me. Of course, I was currently dressed as Henry, but it sounded weird in my head. Was I really spending that much more time as Lilly? I passed the concern off as me worrying about mom’s business. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

She laughed, “Of course I’m sure. I’m actually bringing in more money than I used to. Plus, with Eric’s work, we’re rolling in it. Dollar, dollar, bills yo!”

“Mom,” I snickered. “I don’t think that’s how they say that.”

She shrugged, “Mama’s got the bling, so I can say it however I want.”

“Speaking of Eric, where is he?” I asked looking around.

“It’s Tuesday so… I believe he’s golfing with Sam’s dad.” She was looking up rubbing her chin

I goggled at this. “So, you guys hang out?”

“Sure!” Seeing my reaction, she gave a belly laugh. “Hen, we’re people to. We make friends and hang out just like you do.”

“But…” I trailed off.

Mom lowered the wattage of her smile and nodded. “Yeah, back then I didn’t have time. Being a single mother meant I had to work twice as hard to keep a roof over our heads. My clients were the closest things I had to friends back then.”

I started tearing up. “You did it for me? Mom I-”

She cut me off from having an emotional moment. “Yeah, finally got rid of that little mooch who used to live here.” She tapped me on the nose.

“Hey!” I protested.

She just laughed and gave me a hug. “I’m glad you came home for the holidays Hen.” She pulled away and changed the subject. “So, have you met anyone you like at college?”

I rubbed the back of my head. “Uh, sort of.”

“Let me guess. She’s pretty, has a lot of money, and is familiar with your sister Lilly?” She held up a finger for each point.

My mouth fell open. “How did you know?”

She scoffed, “Hen, you have a type. So, am I going to meet this…”

“Haley,” I offered. I scrunched up my face. “To be honest I have no idea if I can call her my girlfriend.” When mom raised an eyebrow I explained, “We haven’t defined our relationship.”

“Ah, sex bunnies,” mom stated in a matter of fact manner.

“What? Sex bunnies?” What was she talking about?

She took a deep breath. “When I was your age and met your father, we were all over each other. We didn’t spend a lot of time talking if you get my meaning.”

“Ew, mom gross,” I responded.

She waved her hand. “Eh, you’re old enough. Besides, how do you think you came into the world?”

I clapped my hands over my ears. “I’m not listening to this.”

She took a hold of my wrists and pulled my hands away from my ears. “My point is, we had trouble communicating about our relationship.”

This was very relatable. “So, what did you guys do?”

“I thought you didn’t want to hear this?” She turned her nose up.

“Mom,” I whined.

She chuckled, “Simple, we started talking after sex.”

“After sex?” I repeated.

“Sure, that was proving to be the biggest obstacle. So, once it was out of the way, we were able to have a real conversation.” Her smile had a wistful quality to it as she remembered times past. She then slapped her thighs. “Well, that’s all the secrets you’re going to get out of me, buster. I only tell my daughter the really juicy bits. Speaking of which how does porkchops sound for dinner tonight?”

“Good,” I replied. Wow. Had mom just given me the key to unlock what was going on between me and Haley? I think when I returned to school, I was going to find out.


	48. Plans

Returning to school in the spring went well. I reconnected with all my friends and got used to the new courses quicker than my first semester. I’d say Haley was very happy to see me, given the way we went at it. I suppose sex bunnies was a pretty apt way to describe it.

Tension must have built up quite a bit for us during the winter break, since we only stopped our carnal play when we both collapsed. This didn’t leave much time for talking afterwards.

Eventually, things finally slowed down. The conversation started simple enough. “Haley? Are we a couple?”

“A couple of naughty little school girls.” She was referring to the role playing we had just done before having sex.

“No.” I had to fend off her questing hand. It was traveling up my plaid skirt, which was remarkably still on me. “I mean, do you consider us a couple. As in boyfriend and girlfriend?”

She had a quizzical look. She pointedly stared at my bra with its false breasts. “Boyfriend?” her tone was dubious.

“Fine,” I capitulated. “Girlfriend and girlfriend.” I tossed my hands up with slight frustration.

She propped herself up on her elbow to get a better view of my face. “Why is that important?”

“Well, I’d like to take you to visit my family,” I explained.

She sighed and flopped on the bed, avoiding my gaze. She blew out a breath. “I don’t know Lil. That’s a lot of commitment, besides I might want things you can’t provide.”

I sat up at this. “Like what?”

“Well, I’d prefer it more if you had real breasts. It’s awkward with you having to always wear a bra.” Her hand touched my bra strap where it lay across my back.

“You mean hormones.” She had been hinting at my taking estrogen to have more feminine curves. Up until now, I thought she had just been teasing me.

“See, you’re balking at that when I have even more extreme desires.” She rolled off the bed and began picking up discarded pieces of our costumes.

“More extreme? What do you mean?” This was the first I had heard of this.

She was quiet for a moment. Then her emerald eyes drilled into my own. “You sure you want to know?”

Despite what we did to each other sexually, she rarely opened up about her desires beyond the pure sensual gratification. It was a great step for our relationship, but I had a sense of dread. I steeled myself and nodded.

“Okay, okay.” She paced around the room gathering her thoughts. “You know I have degrees in medicine, right?”

Haley was a prodigy. She had been taking college level classes back when she was thirteen. Combine that with her being a few years older than me and the wealth to indulge her quest for knowledge, and she was scary smart. I just nodded.

“Have you heard about CRISPR?” she asked. I shook my head. “Instead of boring you with the details, the simplest way to explain it is that it has the potential to modify genes.”

“Okay, I’m following,” I said.

“This means you can technically change the gender of someone. At least on a biological level.” She cupped her breasts. “It wouldn’t change what they already have, but it could tell their body to stop creating certain hormones and instead produce others. That sort of a thing.”

“So… you want to turn my genes female?” This seemed like a strange desire, especially since she admitted they wouldn’t change what I already had.

“Yes and no. That is, I wouldn’t stop there. I have friends at Harvard that could help me with the process of CRISPR alteration. I’d then need a period of time to study the changes before I’d want to move to the next phase.” She sat down facing me.

“Next phase?” I couldn’t imagine what else would be necessary.

“Regenerative medicine. Doctors have already grown all sorts of organs and successfully restored patients. And they’ve used their own body’s materials, so no rejections like you see in organ transplants.” She leaned forward. “They’ve even grown vaginas.”

I shivered at her words. Ever since we threw anal stimulation into our sexual toolbox, I had thought about what it would be like to have my own female genitalia. “That means?”

She nodded. “Yes. You would have a real pussy, not an altered penis that can only simulate a working vagina.”

“But what about things like ovaries?” I knew at least a little from the biology class I was taking.

“Ah, there have been experiments where mice had their ovaries removed, then scientists regrew them from biological material still in the mice.” She mimed taking something away, then putting something back in.

I was afraid to ask, “What happened to the mice?”

“Nothing. Well, except they went back to normal. They even had pups. As for turning ovaries into testis, that is done just through the CRISPR process.”

“Wait. Why would you need to do that? You wouldn’t want to continuously change me back and forth?” This was starting to sound cruel.

Haley lowered her eyes to her own lap and that’s when it hit me. She wanted a change. “Don’t get me wrong, I like being a girl. I just want one thing to change.”

“You want a penis?” My voice was small. I was afraid she hadn’t heard me since she didn’t answer right away.

“I don’t like what’s available right now. I think if I can grow my own, it can overcome all the issues that the surgeries done now have no hope of achieving.” She looked away.

“Why haven’t you started the process with yourself?” I inquired. I could see the shimmer of tears leaving tracks on her face.

Sniffing, she wiped them away. “I had planned to.” Her words were hoarse and full of emotion. “I had decided to study what social and mental complications there might be before I took the plunge.”

I recalled some of the books she had been reading when we first met. “The books on human behavior.”

She tilted her head in the affirmative. “Yeah, and then I met you.” She let that hung in the air between us. “It slowed down my reading, but I was pretty sure I wanted to have you a part of what I do. I know you’re not gay, so options are limited.” She rested her open palms on her thighs. “And that’s why I can’t give you a simple answer.”

Somewhere along the lines, I began crying along with her. My mind was racing with the possibilities. I know I hadn’t been dressing as Henry all that much, but I still identified with him. “I can’t just say yes to all that.”

“You don’t hate me?” Haley could barely speak through the growing sobs. 

I rushed to her and hugged her. “No. Don’t ever think that. If I didn’t care about you so much, I wouldn’t have asked. I just need time to think.”

She clung to me and we wept together. After the most tender love-making session we’d ever had, she suggested that I take several weeks to consider. When I complained that it wouldn’t take me that long, she informed me that my judgement was biased by her presence. I needed the time away to think clearly. And to make sure I did so, she would take a trip to go see her parents. We were heading towards spring break.

I suspect she was right. The problem was, this was the first time we were making progress in our relationship. Though I needed to face whether or not this was a relationship I wanted to follow through on.


	49. Spring Fling

Without Haley around, there wasn’t as much need to dress as Lilly. I still wasn’t sure how she did her course work since I didn’t recall ever seeing her go to class. Then again, lots of money and a super intellect can make some strange bedfellows. Either way, right in the middle of my second semester, she took off.

I spent a great deal of time dressed as Henry, save the few outings with the girls. I didn’t realize there might be any consequences to this behavior. After all, I was presenting as my biological sex. Yet, it seemed like the universe conspired against me. It happened while I was at the library studying.

“Excuse me? But you’re Henry, aren’t you?” This came from a very familiar voice. Peering around my book, I spied the owner of the question. The attractive blonde had an intense stare through her spectacles. And to my shock, I found her full figure rather distracting. “I’m Karen,” she said. “I know my friend has talked about her brother from time to time and you look a lot like her. So, I was wondering…?” She trailed off not sure how to continue.

For my part, my head was racing. How could I avoid my two worlds from mixing? Did I want them separate? Shouldn’t I say something? I ended up letting my mouth do the decision making for me. By automatic reflex, I smiled and held out a hand, “Yes. I am Henry. I… uh, believe my sister Lilly has mentioned you. Though she didn’t mention how attractive you were.” What in god’s name was I doing? Flirting with Karen was the worst idea ever! But seeing her dimples appear when she registered the compliment was amazing to behold.

She pulled out a seat from the table I was at and sat down. “Wow. She didn’t mention you were a smooth talker.” As if thinking of something she glanced around. “Oh, you’re not by chance here with anyone like your girlfriend?”

I shook my head and sighed, “As it so happens, I have no idea whether or not I have a girlfriend.” My mouth went again on autopilot. I partially blame the fact that as Lilly I was used to sharing personal details with Karen. And Haley’s bombshell and obstacle to real relationship status was consuming a lot of my thoughts.

“You don’t know if you have a girlfriend?” her eyebrows raised. “That seems like something you should know.” Karen was both curious and concerned leaning in a bit.

I closed the book I was reading, then rested an elbow on the table. My head fell into my palm. “Tell me about it. I tried to define the relationship and things got confusing.”

“Well, you and your sister have that in common at least,” her upbeat response was a clear attempt to raise my spirits. “At least you made the effort to take that step. I don’t think Lilly has tried.”

Crap, I kept forgetting Karen already knew so much about me. Well, at least my Lilly side. The only reason I hadn’t told her about Haley’s conditions had more to do with the fact she didn’t know about Lilly’s genital situation. So, I used that small difference as cover. “Yeah, maybe it’s the type of people we attract.”

I nearly jumped when Karen reached out and squeezed my other hand that wasn’t holding up my head. “Maybe you just haven’t met the right person?”

Why was my heart racing? Was I super attracted to Karen for some reason? Well, she was my friend and that instinctive feeling of being vulnerable with her was something I couldn’t consciously block. I managed to make a noncommittal grunt.

“How about we go to lunch?” Her question was innocent, but my mind imagined more. Karen inviting me over, my lips on hers, we ending up in- “You look like you could use a friend.”

I gulped. I didn’t want to ruin Lilly’s relationship with this sweet girl. But she had a point. Ever since my first few days at college, I had chased away the sense of loneliness, but it had snuck back in with Haley’s departure. “I don’t know, my… uh, girl I know?” What did I call Haley?

“See. You’re not even in a relationship. So, no one can get jealous.” Karen’s smile was infectious.

Giving her a grin, I raised my head up. “I suppose you’re right.” Packing my book away, I rose up with her to leave.

Moving close by my side, she took hold of my arm. “How about for today I’ll be your girlfriend?”

I choked a little before getting out, “My girlfriend?”

“Sure. I said you needed a friend. And as it so happens-” she looked meaningfully at her breasts, “I’m a girl. So, girlfriend material!”

Hearing her phrase it that way sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach. “Okay.” I decided I was going along with this so might as well play along. “You may have to give me some pointers seeing as I’m all clueless when it comes to girlfriends.”

Her eyes twinkled. “I’d be happy to! We can start by you buying me lunch.”

“Oh ho, so that’s your game.” I couldn’t keep the smirk from showing. “You find a girl, make friends with her, find out about her attractive brother, ambush him in a vulnerable state, and swoop in to get a free meal out of the whole thing.”

For a moment her whole demeaner went somber. “You really are vulnerable right now, aren’t you?”

“Um.” Her observation to my honesty took me off guard. “I mean I-”

As if flipping on a light switch, she went right back to happy. “Great!” She gave my nose a tap. “I’m going to get a really good meal out of you.”

I blinked, readjusting to the mood change. For a moment there, it was as if… something real passed between us. Though I couldn’t be sure with how she returned to her sunny disposition. I shook it off as a fluke and thought it might be good to eat somewhere nice. That meant there was only one option. “How do you feel about Italian food?”

Karen rubbernecked as we sat down at the restaurant. She then exclaimed, “Wow! Uh, I was sort of joking when I said I wanted a nice meal?”

I mocked a stunned expression. “And not give my girlfriend the best? That would be unthinkable!”

She snorted, “You’re such an ass.”

I chuckled. Leaning in I whispered, “I actually work here part time. I get an employee discount.”

She burst out in a laugh before slapping her hand over her mouth. “Sorry. It’s just, you had me going for a second.”

“Well, to be honest. The reason why there is a discount is because we get all the stuff they plan to throw out anyways. Day old bread, that sort of thing,” I admitted in a bit of a hushed voice.

“Really?” Her eyes went wide. When she studied my face some more it dawned on her I was lying. “Geez! I should give you my other leg so you can pull that one as well.”

Keeping up my game of flirting, I responded, “I wouldn’t mind those legs.”

“Oh, and you’re a chauvinist?” With that, she actually did give me a leg. It came in the form of a playful kick.

I took advantage of her poor aim and caught her appendage between my knees. I then reached down to touch it to maybe tickle it, when something odd happened. It was like electricity touching her skin. We both just sat there in literal shock from the moment. The air felt heavier and a bit warmer than it did a moment ago.

Our eyes found each other. She licked her lips. I opened my mouth to say something when the waiter arrived. “Are you two ready to order?”

I released her leg as if it had scalded my skin. And in a way, it had. She straightened in her chair and was the first to recover. “Ah yes, I just had a question about-”

I tuned her and our server out for a bit as I gathered my thoughts. What was happening? Done with Karen, the waiter looked to me. I placed my usual order of a meat lasagna with smoked gouda and a side salad. After the waiter left, we were forced to face each other again.

Thankfully, we both had the same idea of keeping the rest of our dinner conversation light.

“My mom works as a dental hygienist, while my dad is a contractor.” Karen informed me.

“My mom is a professional seamstress while Eric… uh, does something with computers, I think?” I felt bad that I wasn’t clear on what Eric did for a living. Problem was, every time he tried to explain it, he’d launch into a whole host of jargon that neither mom nor I could follow.

Karen studied me with an odd quirk to her head. “You call your dad Eric? And you don’t know what he does?”

“Oh! Sorry, I should of explained.” I held up my hands up. “Eric is my mom’s husband that she married a little over a year ago. I never really knew my biological father since he passed away before I really remembered him.”

A look of relief fell over Karen. “Oh, for a sec, I thought you guys weren’t speaking to each other.”

I shook my head. “No. We actually talk a lot. We’re both huge Victorion fans-”

“You mean the comic character?” This got Karen leaning in. “I love that series!” And the rest of the meal consisted of the various adventures of our beloved hero.

After the meal, I walked her back to her place. I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way we found ourselves holding hands while we walked and chatted about nothing.

“Well, this is me,” she stated as we made it to her dorm.

The tension returned as neither one of us knew how to say goodbye. Finally, I offered, “Would you maybe like to do this again sometime?”

Her eyes lit up and she was radiant. “That would be great. Tomorrow?”

I hadn’t expected her to answer with such enthusiasm, but I was feeling the same way. “Sure,” I agreed. “This week, I’ll usually at the library at the same time.”

“Then the library it is!” Before I knew it, we were kissing. It wasn’t a passionate mouth-lock filled with tongue and heat. Rather, it was that quick peck you give a loved one before you part. She put a hand up to her lips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think-”

God, I didn’t want this to be awkward, so I blurted, “I know, I know, you should of invited your boyfriend up for some steamy action.” I made a dramatic sigh. I then turned and walked away. Calling back over my shoulder I said, “Guess I’ll just have to dream about what could have been. See you tomorrow legs!” And with that, I waved as I headed into the evening. I was not brave enough to see what her reaction was to my words. I guess I’d find out soon enough.


	50. An Easy Disconnection

As the days passed, I knew I should have been thinking about Haley, but Karen proved to be a very effective distraction. Nearly every day we managed to spend some time together. We saw movies, went to an open-air concert, and even went to a carnival that was in town.

I met up with her one time as Lilly. The whole time I kept expecting her to mention Henry in some way. But when it got to points in our conversation that involved her personal life, she’d change the subject or become evasive in some way.

Truth be told, I wasn’t much better. I was very effective at not thinking about Haley that Lilly didn’t have much to say. That left Pam.

“So, did you talk to him?” she asked me.

I had no clue what she was talking about. “Talk to who?” I replied.

“Reggie.” She was in an obvious state of frustration. “You said you’d talk to him.”

“Oh crap. I’m so sorry Pam. It had slipped my mind.” That was the honest truth. Compared to my own relationship, or was it relationships, I hadn’t given it any thought. “I’ll go talk with Reggie today. I promise.” I crossed my heart with a finger.

She pointed at me. “You better.”

“Well, sounds like you have your evening book,” Karen said. “I guess this would be a good time to go get some studying done.” And with that she got up and left.

“What’s with her?” Pam asked. “I never seen her actively want to study.”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. Then when Karen was out of sight, I received a text from her. She wanted to know if Henry was available.

Deep down I had felt this was going somewhere. That’s why I had bought a burner phone and gave that number to Karen as Henry. I just didn’t think what would happen if she would text me while I was Lilly.

“Hey, is that a new phone?” Why did Pam have to be so observant?

I made a quick reply that I could meet later this evening then put the phone away. “It’s a burner phone,” I admitted.

Her brows creased. “Why do you need a burner?”

I didn’t have a great answer for that so said, “I heard it’s good to separate business from pleasure.”

“Oh! Because of the clothing you make.” She then tilted her head. “I didn’t realize you had a side hustle?”

I blew out a breath. “Right now, I don’t. Hence why the phone is new.” I shook my bag for emphasis.

“Well, once you do get everything up and running, I wouldn’t mind being a customer. Your skirt suit you showed off looked great and it was comfy.” She looked down at her plain outfit. “I wouldn’t mind maybe looking a little more sophisticated.”

“I can take your measurements and start working on a piece if you like?” I offered.

Pam shook her head. “No way. The next thing you’re doing is talking to Reggie!”

I held up my hands in surrender. “Fine, fine, I’m going, oh demanding one.”

“Thank you!” she called after me as I got up and left.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m an angel,” I muttered. Guess I better get this out of the way.

“Lilly!” Reggie was the one who answered the door. “What are you doing here?”

I barged in. “You kissed Pam,” I stated. I stopped when I saw Alex paging through a fashion magazine on the couch.

Alex looked up. “Hi Lilly!” Then she went back to her magazine.

I spun back to magazine and whispered. “Does Alex know?”

Reggie rubbed the back of his head. “Uh, sort of…”

“It was my idea!” Alex chirped from behind me.

I then turned to Alex and asked, “You’re not bothered by Reggie kissing Pam?”

Alex looked confused. “Why? I like Pam. And since Reggie said we couldn’t have you in our bed then I want her.”

This was odd. My mouth tried to work but failed. Fortunately, Reggie stepped up and explained, “Alex is polyamorous. I had to explain to her the reason why you couldn’t join us was due to the fact I felt intimidated by your… you know.” He gestured towards his crotch. “Plus, it already seemed like you have enough issues when it comes to the relationship department.”

“Ain’t that the god’s truth,” I let slip.

“Oh?” I couldn’t shut him or Alex out, they were my friends.

I crossed my arms and looked down. “Yeah, I started sort of, maybe, dating Karen.”

“I like her too!” Alex piped in.

Reggie gave her a stern look.

“I know, I know, I can’t have everybody,” Alex pouted.

Wow, my head was still trying to wrap around the idea that Alex was such a sexual creature. And what’s more is she’d have me as well, if it weren’t for Reggie restraining her appetites. “So anyways.” I attempted to move the conversation onward.

“So, Lilly has another girlfriend?” Reggie remarked.

“No,” I said with force and a touch of frustration. “Haley wants to science me up and turn me into a real girl before she’s ready to call me anything close to a girlfriend. And Karen… I’m sort of with her as Henry. She thinks I’m my own brother and sister.”

“That’s cool!” Alex sounded very approving. “Reggie, are you sure…?”

“No.” The authority in his voice was unmistakable in its masculinity. Back to me he said, “You should tell her.”

“Right back at you,” I replied.

“What? Oh… Pam, right. What if she, you know, hates me?” Gone was the pillar of strength that was present just a second ago. “After all, I still can’t bring myself to go out in public like this.”

I reached out and gave him a quick hug. “Oh Reggie. You’ve actually already done the hard part.”

“I have?” He wiped at his eyes to avoid crying.

“Sure! You presented yourself to your closest friends as male. They’re the ones whose opinions you really care about,” I pointed out.

He mulled this over. Then began to nod. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

I then pointed at Alex. “Though you may not want to do it at the same time as telling her Alex is planning a sex party.”

He snorted, “I guess you’re right.” He took a deep breath. “She is coming over this weekend to play some board games. Perhaps that’ll be the time to tell her.”

“Good.” I shifted my eyes around. “And maybe tonight I’ll talk with Karen.” I was reluctant since so much felt right between her and Henry. I hadn’t noticed my eyes were glistening when Reggie surprised me with a hug. Clearing away my blurry vision, I hugged back.

“It’ll be fine,” he assured me.

Then Alex scampered over and joined the hug, not to be left out. “Can you also tell her hi from me?”

“Sure Alex,” I agreed with my weird bubbly friend. “Uh Alex?”

“Hmm?” she responded.

“Is your hand squeezing my butt?” I inquired.

“It feels so nice,” she commented.

I extricated myself from my friends’ limbs. “Okay, on that note I’m off.”

“Aw,” Alex whined. Fortunately, Reggie had a hold on her.

I nodded my thanks to him. As I was walking through the door, I stopped and turned back. “You know Pam usually feels insecure. Just remember, be gentle.”

As a reply Reggie crossed his heart. I smiled, nodded, and went to prepare for Henry’s date with Karen.

“My, my, I do love a man with groceries,” Karen purred as she opened her door.

Neither one of us had tried fondue so we planned to try it out over at her place. I was tasked with picking up the ingredients we needed. I held up the bags. “I came prepared for cheese or chocolate. Lady’s choice.”

Letting me in, she said, “I didn’t think a man could sound so sexy in so few words.”

“Sexy?” I hadn’t thought I was flirting.

She ticked off items on her fingers as she stated, “Cheese, chocolate, and my choice.”

I laughed as I set the groceries down on her small kitchen table. I was turning around to give some sort of witty comeback when she pressed herself to me. Our lips found each other an instance later. I hadn’t realized how much sexual tension had built up between us until we expressed it right then and there.

With an awkward tug and shove she maneuvered me onto her couch. The fact that we didn’t stop kissing made it a bit perilous. Though without the fear of falling over, I pressed more into her. My tongue parted her lips and began a slow and sensual war with hers.

As we took a moment to take in air, I moved to the side of her face and down her neck. She released a soft moan as I tickled her nerves with my tongue and teeth. She grew mad with lust as I didn’t move beyond this point.

Pushing away, she tore at her shirt in a desperate need to expose more skin. This was soon followed by a lacy bra.

Somewhere in the back of my head I registered that was the type of bra you wore when you were preparing for sex later on. It was a fleeting thought as I now had full access to Karen’s full breasts.

Unlike other girls I’d been with, Karen had a full-figured chest. It was even larger than Lilly’s silicone breast forms, which were already a good handful at a C cup. They more than filled my hands with their lush curves.

Bending my head low, I proceeded to feast upon the tips of these gorgeous mounds. I let my fingers mirror my mouth’s action as I swirled and licked around her nipple.

With each so erect, I couldn’t help but pinch those rosy pink buds of feminine delight. To my utter amazement, she actually had an orgasm. I paused letting her catch her breath, only running my fingers light and soft over her stomach.

And when she calmed, I played dirty. I moved to using my nails. I didn’t do it hard. I simply changed from the pads of my fingers to the hard edges of my fingernails.

Like a shock to her system, she shuddered. I went back for another taste of her neck. I could tell by the bucking of her hips that she was close. So, I increased my pace moving my mouth to her ear and whispering, “Come for me.”

That was enough to tip her over. With a cry she clenched up, her hands reaching and grasping for anything they could touch. I decided to let her recover a bit more before we continued.

It seemed like a small eternity before her eyes regained focus. Reaching up, she straightened her glasses. “Wow,” was all she managed. Then she studied me. “Where the hell did you learn to do that? And why do you still have clothes on?”

I burst out in a full belly laugh. Between fits of mirth, I admitted, “I just did what felt nice.”

She gave her jeans, which were still, on a dubious look. “But, I don’t even have a dick in me.”

This set me off again until I felt her hands raising up my shirt. When my head and arms were stuck in the shirt, she went straight for my pants. “Hey! Karen! Hold up. My shirt is tangled-” I hissed as I felt air down below.

Then Karen exclaimed, “Holy fuck! That thing is huge!”

By the time I got my shirt fully off, I spotted Karen standing topless in her jeans looking slack jaw at my hard cock. I looked between it and her. “Uh, is it a problem?” I asked.

“No!” Her head shake was emphatic. “I was just not expecting so much of it.”

She hadn’t fully removed my pants, so I wriggled out of them the rest of the way. It was both sexy and a little unnerving that she just stood there and watched. Finally, I turned to her and asked, “Well?”

“Hmm? Oh! Uh, yeah… I just don’t know if I’m ready for this,” her voice had a hint of shame in it.

Feeling a bit devilish, I moved in close. I was acutely aware of her bare breasts as I leaned toward her ear. “Don’t worry Karen. I have other ways to satisfy you. I don’t need to use this.” I then took her hand and placed it on my shaft, in case she was wondering what I was referring to.

She gulped. In a small voice she acquiesced, “Okay.”

Moving back, I sat back down on the couch and waited. I took in her shape and form, committing it to memory. I gave a meaningful stare at the front of her jeans.

Gooseflesh appeared over her skin and she shivered. “Henry? Are you just going to watch me strip?”

I tilted my head back, as if considering. “Well, that’s what you did to me.”

Her words were shaky. “I, uh, suppose fair is fair.” With trembling hands, she unfastened her pants and pulled them down. She hooked her panties along the way revealing some very soaked fabric.

Once she was completely nude, she brushed her hand over the golden thatch of hair that covered her groin. I longed to do the same, but I wanted to take this slow.

“So what do we do now?” she asked. I could tell she was nervous.

That’s when a thought hit me. “Karen? You’re not a virgin, are you?”

“A what?” she asked. “Oh god no. I just never came, once much less twice, before actually doing it.”

“I see… in that case, how about you sit down.” I got off the couch giving her as much room as she needed.

“What? Just sit down?” My suggestion was getting her mind off of her fears.

“Preferably the middle,” I answered.

“Like this?” She moved to comply. Before I could let her get settled, I was on my knees, spreading her legs apart. “Wha-!” was all she uttered before she began moaning.

I was now sliding my tongue between her wet folds. Her lips were full and swollen from her desire. The taste of her was earthy with a hint of sweetness. I sucked both her outer lips in as I pressed hard against her pelvis. The rough pubic hairs scraping against my upper lip. 

“Oh fuck!” she screamed.

Releasing her lips, I traced a line up from her vaginal opening right under the hood that concealed her clit. Teasing it out, I proceeded to suck it, imagining it was a very tiny penis.

She grabbed a hold of my head, digging her nails into my scalp, holding me firm against her. That’s when the first wave of ecstasy crashed over her. But I didn’t let up. I continued my relentless assault on her most sensitive nub.

“Fuck! Henry! Oh god! Fuck!” I could sense I was extending this one moment for her much longer than was comfortable. “Too much! Fuck! I-ahh!”

I pulled my face away to witness this glorious event. Of course, I did slip a finger inside of her at the same moment. This change of stimulation was enough.

Karen’s eyes shot wide and she began grunting as she bucked against my hand. I noted her breathing get shallower as she neared yet another precipice. And this time when she reached her release, she clamped down on my hand preventing me from moving it any further. Finally, when the last spasm was wrenched from her, she went limp and lifeless among the couch cushions.

I retrieved my hand, cleaning it off by sucking the drenched digit. I was feeling rather smug with myself. Sure, I hadn’t had any release, but seeing a fully satisfied partner filled me with an indescribable pride. I was licking off the last trace of Karen’s juices when I noticed she was staring at me with a predatory intensity.

“So how-” I never got to finish. She pounced on me, knocking me to my back. Big or not, she straddled me, impaling herself on my shaft.

“Oh, fuck you’re big!” she groaned. It didn’t seem to bother her that much since she never stopped moving.

The slick heat of her was so intoxicating. I was not mentally prepared for the sensations. Needless to say, I didn’t last long. Fortunately, she was primed and came with me.

We lay there on her floor stunned. Then ever so gently we found a new rhythm. I had not softened in the least, so the transition was seamless.

No longer were we in a desperate frenzy for sexual gratification. We were now making love. The sheer tenderness of the act brought tears to my eyes. This time, our moment of climax was more of a joining rather than an eruption. It left us weeping.

For me, I knew there was no way not to tell her about Lilly. And if she took that wrong, I’m not sure I could bare what I’d lose.

“You’re Lilly, aren’t you?” If her words were a scalpel, they couldn’t have cut any deeper.

“I-” What did I say to this? “I mean, how did you?”

She huffed out a laugh. “How did I know? I had a feeling. Women just sort of know these things, you know?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Max told you,” I accused.

She paused then confessed, “And, Max told me.”

“I’m going to kill him,” I muttered.

“Please don’t.” She looked worried. “Ever since I hooked him and Andre up, he’s been a bit easier to wheedle information out of. And to be honest, I was still a little miffed you chose him to go with you to see Haley and not me.” She blew out a breath. “One thing led to another and he spilled his guts.”

“So, that’s why he’s been so busy,” I noted. I hadn’t seen much of Max as of late.

“Well, he’s also really been doing a lot with Andre these past few weeks. They kind of need the time together. I just happen to have a couple of classes with Max, so we have a chance to talk,” she explained.

“And that’s the perfect time to milk him for information. You find out I’m Lilly and Reggie is really Reggan and-” I stopped when I noticed Karen freeze and go pale.

“Reggie is who?” she stammered.

“Ah shit,” I berated myself. I waved a hand at our bodies. “Perhaps we should get dressed and talk.”

She nodded and looked at her crumpled clothes. “I’ll go put on some fresh things in my bedroom. You can dress out here.” 

With those words, I had a sinking feeling it wasn’t going to end with Henry and Karen becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. As Karen said, a woman just knows these things. Sometimes it sucks having an inner Lilly.


	51. A Measure of Self

Karen and I ate while I talked. I started from the beginning and just laid it all out there. I even admitted my feelings for her. That got a small grin from her, but it was bittersweet.

“So, that’s everything,” I concluded. “That’s the whole messy lot of it.”

She was quiet for a while, absorbing it all. Finally, she spoke, looking between me at the kitchen table and over at her couch. “The stupid thing is, I keep thinking I want to go tell Lilly and Pam that I found this amazing guy. But you’re here and I guess so is she.”

I raised a hand palm down and tilted it from side to side. “Eh, so far, most people who know about me kind of see me as two people. Heck, I even think a little differently, if I’m going to be honest.”

She scrunched up her face. “That can’t be good for you?”

I shrugged, “It sort of feels normal to me, I guess. Kind of like, I’m friendly around friends, but serious in class. I just have more layers.”

She seemed unconvinced. “And this Haley. She wants to, what? Remake you?”

“It’s like a very advanced sex change, the way I understand it,” I explained.

“Is that what you want?” She crossed her arms. “I mean, I love Lilly as a sister, but you’re pretty amazing yourself.”

That sent butterflies dancing in my belly. I looked down at my hands as I laced and unlaced them together on the table. “Thanks. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about me as Henry.” Looking up, I spied a few tears rolling down Karen’s cheek, which she wiped away.

“I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I kind of wish there were two of you. Then I could have Henry and one of my best friends all at the same time.” She reached across the table and squeezed my hands.

I gave her a lecherous stare. “All together, eh?”

She turned pink then slapped my hands. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. I want Henry as a boyfriend and Lilly as someone to call when you’re a jerk.”

“We could still do that, if you like? Though she might take my side in arguments,” I remarked.

“Yeah, then I need to spill everything to Pam and it sounds like she’s going to have her own hands full.” Karen reached up and rubbed her temples. “Why does this have to be so complicated?”

What I interpreted her last statement as was, why am I so complicated? That’s what really stung. So, I braced myself and asked, “So where does this leave us?”

The silence stretched between us. When Karen spoke, I could hear the pain in her words. “I think you need to figure things out with Haley first. You probably really do like me, but I think you were using me as a distraction to avoid making a decision.”

“But I do like you!” I protested.

She held up a soothing hand. “I know, but you have to admit this is not the way to start a new relationship. I… uh, also seem to lose perspective around you. Besides, we haven’t even addressed the other major elephant in the room.”

“Oh?” I couldn’t imagine what would be another issue.

She jerked her chin towards the couch. “We just had unprotected sex.”

“I… um, aren’t you on the pill?” The bottom had just dropped out of my stomach.

She shook her head. “Most of the birth control I’ve tried doesn’t agree with me.”

The air grew leaden with significance. Were we going to become parents? My mouth went dry. “What should we…? I mean, what do you want to do?”

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I guess the first thing is to put a pin in whatever this is.” She gestured between the two of us. “Then, we’ll see if I get my period.”

I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing I could. I got up and went to hug her. Karen was also barely holding it together, since she broke down crying in my arms. We clung to one another, rocking and weeping. When the tears ran dry, we talked some more.

“Could you ever stop being Lilly?” Karen eventually asked.

“If it meant for the sake of you and our child, I would,” I stated with firm conviction.

Karen looked away. “I don’t think that would work.”

“Hey, I was considering giving up Henry for Haley,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, that’s just it. You were considering it and you were miserable,” she countered. “I think if you’re forced with this either-or type choices, a big part of you is going to be resentful.” I wanted to respond but she stalled me with an upraised palm. “And, the fact that you were considering it this much says that your two sides are very important to you. Trust me, resentment would be involved.”

I closed my mouth and frowned. “I guess it’d really have been better if there were two of me.”

“I don’t know. Maybe you just need better choices,” she muttered.

“What do you mean?” I didn’t know what she was talking about.

Shrugging she replied, “Well, I can’t think of any better option for myself. But with Haley? If she can give you a fancy new body, couldn’t she leave some bits?”

“What? Like my penis?” That was a new thought.

“Yeah. Right now, she’s dictating all the terms, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t maybe negotiate. I mean, if that’s really what you want?” It felt like I was breaking something inside her by having these options laid out.

“I’m sorry I can’t be Henry one hundred percent of the time for you.” I knew she didn’t ask for an apology, but it was the least I could do.

“And I’m sorry I can’t see past your need to be Lilly.” She chuckled to herself. “Though if things really don’t work out with Haley… who knows. I might get desperate.”

I reached out and cupped her face with one hand. “Karen, you deserve the best. And if it helps, it’s not you, it’s me and Lilly. And whatever other fucked up thing is wrong with me.”

“Oh god,” she snorted. “That really is the case, isn’t it?”

I leaned in and gave her a chased kiss on her lips. “You know it is. In fact, you gave me a bit of Henry back. Up until now, I didn’t notice how much of myself I had lost.”

“Yeah, yeah, story of my life. You’re too perfect,” she groused.

“Hey, you’re a musician. Isn’t this the type of stuff you draw on to write good songs?” I quipped.

She sighed, “A lot of them do. I didn’t think I would be one of them though.”

“Hey, I bet it’d be great. Then when you’re rich and famous, we can all sing along to your ‘my sorta kinda boyfriend blues.’” I gave a little shimmy, as if dancing along to unheard notes.

“Dear god, you better not sing,” she moaned. “If you’re anything like Lilly, I’d purposely avoid writing a song if you threatened to sing it.”

We both laughed. Then I said, “Come on, I wasn’t that bad.”

“Sweetie.” She patted me on the cheek. “You’re plenty pretty enough and let’s just leave it at that.” I stuck out my lower lip in a pout. “Wow! Yeah, now I see it. You really are Lilly,” she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes at her. Changing the subject, I inquired, “So do you think I should tell Pam?”

Karen bit her lip in thought, then replied, “How about you wait until we see how things go with Reggie.”

“And Alex,” I added.

Karen raised her eyebrows. “Don’t tell me she’s a guy?”

“What? Alex? Oh no, she’s just sort of with Reggie and she’s a polyamorous person. I think if anything happens with Reggie, it’ll be a two for one deal,” I elaborated.

“Oh! Oh my!” She shook her head. “If things work out between them… I guess I really am the boring one of the group.”

“Hey,” I defended. “You just had unprotected sex with your girlfriend’s brother who happens to be your girlfriend. And he slash she might become a real woman or maybe even a hybrid girl-boy!”

She brightened. “You’re right! I am a hot mess.”

“Just like everybody else,” I confirmed.

By the time I left Karen’s place, it was one in the morning. Just like the paths I walked, my future was very hard to make out.


	52. Understanding

A week later, I was out doing some shopping as Lilly. I had spent a lot of time as Henry while Haley was away, so I was sort of getting prepared to see her again. I had realized that if she was going out with anyone, it was my feminine side.

I wasn’t sure what I’d tell her. It was hard to look past Karen possibly being pregnant. Being a potential father seemed to overshadow all my other concerns. Besides, even if she was pregnant, would she want to keep it? Either way, it sent a wave of nausea through my system. 

I had just finished paying for my items when my phone buzzed. Pulling it out of my purse, I saw it was from Karen. It simply read, “I’m having my period.”

Things went a little hazy for me for a bit. The next thing I knew, I was knocking on a door. When Karen opened up, dressed in loose sweats and a tired drooping look about her, I guessed she was going through the same emotions I was.

“Lilly!” she exclaimed. “What are you-?”

She never got the chance to finish since I rushed and crushed her to me. I couldn’t hold back the water works. Sobs wracked my body. She joined in. It was a monumental relief, but also an indescribable loss.

We must have gone through an entire box of tissues before either of us could speak. Karen recovered first. “Hey Lil?”

“Yeah?” I blew my nose for what seemed like the hundredth time.

“I met a guy and he’s kind of great, but also really complicated,” she sniffled.

“Oh. Sounds like my brother,” I noted. I gave her a weak smile.

She returned the grin. “Funny you should say that…” And that set us off again. This time the tears didn’t feel as bitter.

She was the first to notice my grocery bag I had never put down. She pointed at it. “Did you buy me something?”

Following her pointing finger, I spied my bag. “Oh, I was shopping when you texted me.” I held up the bag. “This is just some groceries. Needed some stuff to make tacos.”

“I love Mexican food,” Karen commented.

I got her hint and winked. “Then tonight we’re having tacos!”

“Ooo, can I invite Pam?” she asked.

I shrugged, “I don’t see why not? There should be plenty for the three of us.”

Karen’s face grew wicked. “And what if she wants to bring over her two lovers?”

By now, I was digging around her kitchen looking for cooking utensils. I called over my shoulder, “Tell her to leave her orgy at home.”

I could hear Karen typing away at her phone. She was muttering as she typed. “Lilly says to leave orgy at home. Done!” She set her phone down at the kitchen table and sat watching me work.

I gave her a startled expression. “You didn’t tell her that did you?”

Karen was smug. “Sure I did! You said so.”

I menaced her with a spatula. “You better text her back and say that was auto correct or something.”

“Fine, fine.” She picked up her phone again. I couldn’t be sure, but I thought it sounded a bit like the jewel game she liked to play rather than her texting Pam.

When the tacos were just about done, a soft knock came from Karen’s front door. She got up and let Pam in.

“Wow! That smells amazing!” Pam enthused. I gave her a quick wave from the kitchen which she returned. “Hey Lilly. Are you doing all the cooking?”

“She sure is!” Karen boomed. “That’s where I like my women. In the kitchen.” We laughed since, out of the three of us, I’d say Karen was a bit more vocal on feminine issues than Pam or I.

I finished putting together the last taco and brought them to the table along with fixings like salsa and sour cream, when I got a good look at Pam. She wasn’t dressed any different. Though she did seem to stand straighter.

“What’s up Lilly? Why are you looking at me like that?” Pam asked.

“I don’t know?” I admitted. “There’s something about you that’s different.”

“Yeah, now that you mention it…” Karen snapped her fingers. “You’re smiling like you just won the lottery!”

“No, I’m not.” She put a hand up to cover her mouth, but when she took it away you could still see it. It was shining from every inch of her especially her eyes. It is sad to say, but Pam usually was naturally a somber person. She wasn’t depressed or anything, it was just rare to see her glowing with joy.

“Oh! Oh, ho, ho! Somebody saw a person named Reggie recently,” Karen beamed. We all sat down at her table to start eating.

Pam went scarlet at Karen’s remark. “Um, maybe.”

We eyed are petite little friend who was squirming in her seat. I then ventured, “Did you sleep with Reggie?”

Pam’s eyes went wide before she hid her face. She was shaking her head. I couldn’t blame her. This was probably very new and strange for her, especially what I knew about Reggie. “Can we just drop it?” she moaned.

“You did sleep with him!” Karen had awe in her voice. “Way to go girl!”

I think that was just a bit too much for Pam. Before we knew what was happening, she sprang up from her seat and was gathering her purse. “I just remembered I needed to do something else tonight.”

Karen was speechless. We had pried into Pam’s personal life a little too hard and a little too fast. She was halfway to the door when I blurted the only thing I thought could help. “Pam! I’m a guy!”

She froze in her tracks. We were all silent. When Pam turned around, she was furious. Pointing at me, she shouted, “Don’t you dare joke about that!” Then she looked between me and Karen. “You knew? You both knew about Reggie? And what?” She gestured to the table of food. “You were just going to sit and eat and make fun of me? I’m sorry, but I’m not your dinner entertainment!” She stomped a foot.

So, in my Henry voice, I said, “It’s not a joke Pam.”

Pam grew confused. Her purse fell from her shoulder. “How? How did you do that?”

“This is my natural male voice,” I answered her.

“But-” She pointed at my chest. “You’ve got tits!” she accused.

I sighed and stood up. Without thinking I pulled my shirt off, reached into one of my bra cups and pulled out a breast form. “They’re fake breasts.”

Pam was now trembling. “I need to sit down.” She didn’t go to the kitchen table, since that would have been closer to us. Instead, she opted for the couch.

“I just recently found out myself,” Karen added.

“You’re a bunch of freaks,” Pam spat. 

I winced. The old childhood pain of Erica’s reaction to me hit home. But I was an adult and I didn’t appreciate her lashing out at Karen. “I also know that Alex and Reggie come as a pair.” It was a terrible thing to say, but I was getting angry. I left myself fully exposed for her benefit. And if she wanted to fling darts then I’d lower myself to her level.

That seemed to deflate her ire. Pam fell into herself weeping. I could just make out the words. “I’m a freak.” Then it all made sense. Her relationship made her happy, but she was afraid of what we would think of it. She was carrying a boat load of self-loathing.

Karen ran to her as I refilled my bra and got my top back on. She was cradling Pam and rocking her gently. “Oh honey. You’re not a freak.”

“But I am,” she protested, being a bit muffled by Karen’s shoulder.

“Then we’re all freaks. And you know what? The world is better for it,” Karen soothed.

“How would you know?” Pam’s claws were still out, though they were blunted from the calming presence she was swaddled in.

“Well… I almost got pregnant by Lilly’s brother,” Karen was laying herself just as open as the rest of us.

Pam didn’t get it at first. “You met him? Is he nice?”

“Yeah, but you met him too,” she explained.

“I did?” Pam’s sadness turned to utter bewilderment. Karen directed Pam’s gaze to me. Then her eyes grew round. “You are Lilly’s brother?”

How to answer that? “Uh, sort of?” I was back to my Lilly voice. “I’m kind of my own brother and sister.”

Now she turned to Karen. “And you fucked him?”

“I sure did!” Karen said with pride. “And remember that time when Lilly showed us how big Hal’s dick was?”

Pam scrunched up her face for a second then nodded. “Yeah? I think so?”

“Well, that’s how big his cock is.” Karen pointed at me.

“I don’t believe you,” Pam stated.

“It’s true,” Karen promised. “Lilly back me up on this.”

“Um, sure?” This was going in a very strange direction.

“Then show me!” Pam directed.

I hesitated, “I don’t know…”

“Come on Lil. Just whip it out and let little miss pervert over here have something to wave her freak flag at,” Karen urged. “Besides, at the time I didn’t get a good look at it.”

This did not feel like a good idea, but in a rare moment, my penis was thinking for me. This had never happened for me when I was dressed as Lilly. Although, there was that time Sam and I kissed when I put on her dress. I shook the memory away. It was getting uncomfortable under my foundation garments. I took a deep breath, “Fine.”

Hiking up my skirt, I fumbled around until I untucked my stiffening erection. When it sprang free and was exposed to the cool air I shivered. Having two girls ogle a part of me sent a buzz of intense sensation through my body.

“Holy shit!” Pam exclaimed.

“Wow! I can’t believe that fit inside me,” Karen murmured.

“Can we touch it?” Pam inquired.

My hormones screamed, “Oh hell yes!” Fortunately, there was enough Lilly to put the brakes on. “That’s probably a bad idea.” I dropped my skirt down covering my lower region.

Pam tilted her head. “How come?”

Now that I could think a little, I was softening. “Because…” I drew out, “…the last time it came out in Karen’s place she almost ended up pregnant.”

“Plus, his maybe girlfriend wants to give him a vagina,” Karen blurted.

“What?” Pam whipped her attention around. “A vagina?”

So, for the second time in just as many weeks, I recounted my life story. This time over tacos, which felt like some weird symbolism.

“So, let me get this straight. Haley, the girl you’ve been seeing wants to switch naughty bits with you.” Pam pointed at me. “And you would want Henry if he was just Henry.” She indicated Karen.

“Yeah, but I’d feel bad about losing Lilly,” Karen added.

“Sure, sure, especially since Henry isn’t sure if he could give up being both.” Then she looked at me. “Then doesn’t that make your choice to go with Haley impossible? Since you’d give up being Henry?”

I shrugged. “Karen pointed out maybe I could keep my cock. I haven’t talked with Haley about that yet.”

“That would be a shame to lose,” she muttered, her eyes drifting down to my skirt.

I shifted in my seat. It was odd being objectified for my male attributes while I was dressed as a female. “Uh, yes. Thanks.”

“Right.” Pam swiveled her gaze between the two of us. “Does this mean you cheated on Haley with Karen?”

I threw up my hands. “I have no idea. As far as I know, we still haven’t defined our relationship.”

“And how do you feel about all of this?” She directed her question to Karen.

Karen gave a sad, yet wistful sigh. “You mean about me being the other woman?”

Pam nodded. “Well, yeah?”

Karen closed her eyes. “I’m sad, yet relieved. I feel closer to my friend than I ever have with anyone, yet it’s like miles are separating us. Mostly though, I feel worn out.”

“Geez, I didn’t think I would feel so normal. And I’m sort of with two people,” Pam observed.

“Hey yeah!” Karen exclaimed. “How does that work? Do they sandwich you in the middle and make a yummy peanut butter and Pam sandwich?”

Pam went red again. “Uh, I rather not say.”

“Oh, you’re going to talk,” I put in. “After all, you made me show you my genitals! So, the least you can do is spill the juicy details.”

The rest of the evening we grilled each other on our sexual exploits. It was good that it didn’t lead to sex, but rather a deeper place of understanding. And I think we all came out stronger on the other end of it.


	53. A Compromising Situation

Haley found me at the end of the hallway sitting in the window sill. She slowed her pace as she realized I was dressed as Henry. I was all twisted up inside, but I knew we had a long talk ahead of us.

“Hey Haley.” I gave her a limp wristed wave. “Do you mind if we go for a walk?”

She bit her lip in contemplation, then gave me a silent nod. Together we left our dorm, side-by-side, not holding hands. Neither of us spoke as I led us to a more wooded section of the campus that had some benches. I pointed one out and we sat.

I needed to get through the hardest part first so jumped right in. “When you were gone, I slept with someone as Henry.”

She winced at hearing this. However, I didn’t let her speak.

“Since you asked me to give up being the male part of myself, I felt it was only fair to spend most of the time while you were away as Henry. I wasn’t looking to get involved, especially not with one of my friends who I knew as Lilly. You remember Karen, don’t you?”

“Um, she was the blonde one with glasses?” Haley ventured.

I nodded. “She had found out my secret through Max. So, I think she tracked me down and because of our actual friendship, things moved faster than either of us expected…”

“Are you and her…?” Haley was unable to finish the question.

My face felt tight with tension. I shook my head. “I think the situation would be the opposite from yours. She’d want me to be Henry all the time. But she’d miss Lilly. Plus, she figures I’d build up resentment towards her if I couldn’t be Lilly.”

“Oh, I see,” her voice was small. I was actually shocked she wasn’t furious at me.

“We even talked about the unresolved issues I have with you. She suggested that maybe I should ask if you can make all the changes and I can still keep… you know.” I made a motion towards my crotch.

She tilted her head. “It’s possible… I know there are individuals that have that type of anatomy. I’d need to do more research.”

I looked away. “I guess she wanted to make sure if I did do something, I’d have a say in the procedure. I’m still not sure if I want to do it, but I think it’d help to know if I had options.” I then went quiet since I wasn’t sure there was anything else to say.

Soft sobs came from Haley’s direction and I felt like a complete ass. I couldn’t show her how far I was willing to go and the fact that it felt like I cheated on her was too much. But between her moans, I could just make out the words, “I’m sorry.”

My head shot up and I turned to her. To my knowledge, I could not recall ever seeing her cry. With a blotchy face and streaks running down her cheeks, she was hugging herself and completely miserable. “Why are you sorry?” I was baffled.

“When I was away at my parents, I would constantly bring up Lilly’s name. Usually it was over little things like a meal or a show that was on.” She reached up and wiped at her eyes. “I would be eating pasta like you showed me and mom or dad noticed. So I’d explain you showed me. They would give me odd looks, but they never pressed.” She sniffed.

“Did they not approve of you liking girls?” I asked.

She shook her head. “That’s just it. They already knew my sexual preferences for some time. It didn’t bother them at all. And then, one evening… they started asking about Lilly.” This set her off on a fresh round of sobs.

I was at a loss of whether or not to hold her. She was giving off a lot of nonverbal signs that she wanted to bolt or hide, so I just sat there and waited.

Gathering herself she continued, “That’s when I realized two things. The first was that I missed you.”

This made my heart sore, but it also hurt. Knowing of my unfaithfulness cut me to the quick. Fearing more hurt I inquired, “And the second?”

She took several deep breaths. “The second. I don’t know you. I mean, I’ve been using you, first as a social experiment and then as a sex partner. All I have are just surface level information. I don’t know who you are and what you really like. I’m not sure why you do what you do. For fuck sake, I asked you to change your body, which scares the hell out of you, but you’re still considering it. I mean, what type of person does that for someone else?”

“I had never thought of it in those terms. Well, I knew you were attracted to me. And you didn’t seem to mind spending time outside the bedroom. I figured once we had defined things a bit, we could have those deeper conversations.” It sounded a bit lame out loud.

She threw up her hands. “That’s just it! I put up a god damn wall between us, all based on what I wanted. I’m not at all surprised you got intimate with a girl that gave half a damn about you. Hell, you could have had an orgy with all your friends and it would have been more real than what we’ve built.”

This time I did move close and crush her to me. I stroked the back of her hair as she wept. I whispered, “Then, would you like to build something better?”

Her words were muffled being spoken into my chest. “Why would you want to?”

I raised her face so I could look into her brilliant emerald eyes. “If you ask my mom, she thinks it’s because I have a type.”

“A type?” It was clear she didn’t understand.

“Yeah,” I explained. “Girls who are rich, smart, and like the way I look in a skirt.”

That made her laugh. “You mean that’s a pattern with you?”

I shrugged. “My last girlfriend Sam was kind of the person who got me into dressing like Lilly.”

I could feel her searching my face. She was afraid to ask, but in a trembling voice pressed, “What happen to you and Sam?”

“Distance. We had finally started dating in our last year of high school when we found out we were going to go to different colleges.” Unlike before, it was easier to think and talk about Sam. Having told the story recently to a couple of my friends had dulled the sharpest edges of my memories.

“Do you still care for her?” Haley was being gentle.

“I… I do. But it’s nothing I can do anything about. We sort of agreed to cut ties because of how much it hurt.” I licked my lips and swallowed. “Now? Now, I’d be afraid to see her. I’m pretty sure we’re totally different people now.”

Haley reached out and took my hand giving it a squeeze. “See, I think that’s the first real thing I know about you.” A dimple appeared on one side of her mouth. “For me, I think I idolized my nanny.”

My eyebrows raised at this. “Your nanny?”

“Yeah, due to how busy my parents were, and still are, they needed help raising me. So, they hired a woman by the name of Rose. She never pretended to be my mother, instead she was like an older sister.” I could feel Haley trace my fingers with her thumb as she gathered her thoughts. “I loved spending time with her, which was good since I was home schooled and she was practically the only person I saw. Then, one night, she brought over a friend. It was another woman. At first, I was delighted, I was going to have a new friend. But Rose paid a lot of attention to this woman. I got jealous.”

“How old were you?” I asked as soft as I could.

Haley gave a one shoulder shrug. “Maybe eight. They had put me to bed, but I wasn’t tired. So, I snuck out of my room to find them. I don’t know why. Maybe I was going to jump out and scare them or something. That’s when I saw them, together. At first, I couldn’t make sense of it. I think I finally thought, is this why Rose likes her friend more than me?”

I filled in the rest. “So, you thought if you could also like women in that way, she’d like you more and things would go back to normal.”

She nodded. “Maybe. I don’t know. I just knew I grew fixated with women. Eventually, Rose left our family’s employ and I was still looking at females as sexual partners. Then, sometime later, I was able to act on these desires and it felt good. I didn’t even think to be with a guy until you.”

“But you said you were a virgin?” I countered.

She blushed, “I figure a little fib wouldn’t hurt. Besides I was a virgin when it came to being with a man.”

“So, you lied to me just to get into my pants?” I stated.

Her face grew worried as she searched for pain of this betrayal. When she didn’t find it, her look turned speculative.

I tweaked her nose. “I’m not upset. Hell, if that was you wronging me, I can’t wait to see how you make it right.”

She grinned. “Typical guy.”

“That’s me,” I admitted. “Ordinary crossdressing, gender-confused person who is turned on by a nymphomaniac.”

“Hey! I am not a nymphomaniac!” she protested.

I gave her a stern look.

She stuck out her lower lip. “Fine. Maybe I’m a little adventurous. But I don’t sleep around.”

That stung. Unlike her, I did have another sexual partner. I lowered my eyes.

Seeing that reaction, she reassured me. “Oh no! That’s not what I meant. I get you were emotionally vulnerable. I’m just saying I can control it.”

“Oh, like that night you barged into my room?” I asked.

“That was…” she began.

“Or maybe that time I entered your room and you had me up against your front door?” I added.

“Okay, okay, so I’m a monogamous nymphomaniac,” she capitulated.

We both chuckled. I then questioned her, “So, where do we go from here? And are we anything to each other?”

She pursed her lips. “I think we need to start by becoming friends.”

“Just friends?” I wanted to be perfect in our clarity.

“Well, if the mood takes us. Maybe friends with benefits,” she amended. “Besides, I kind of let you know what my ultimate fantasy is for you.”

“Ah, you mean the Frankensteining me into a woman,” I noted.

Her face scrunched up. “It’s not that terrible, is it?”

I sighed. “Truth is, you’re asking me to confront things I hadn’t considered. I think parts of me are terrified by it, but other parts… are very interested.”

She beamed, “Really?”

I shifted in my seat. “Well, like I said. I need to think about it some more.”

“Fair enough,” she agreed. “Then I propose a project. You need to give some serious thought on who you want to be. And I need to become your best friend! Because somewhere in all the wild crazy monkey sex, I think I really like you.”

“It’s usually between the monkey and crazy that I get to people,” I jested.

“Yeah, I figured something had to be different when I wanted to tie you down for your own good… and mine,” she smirked.

“We’re going to have a very naughty friendship, aren’t we?” I remarked.

“Hey, I did say it was going to be the best, didn’t I?” she shot back.

“So you did, so you did.” And for a change, my future was looking bright.


	54. Finding a Place

Before I knew it, the semester ended and I went back home for the summer break. Mom and Eric had been spending more time going out and seeing things. Most of it involved national parks and tourist traps around the state. That meant the house was filling up with various nick knacks and pictures from those outings.

It had been mom and I for so long that I felt a pang of sadness seeing a picture with mom that I wasn’t in. However, I couldn’t deny she was happy. Eric adored her. I was overjoyed at their relationship. It was just an odd sensation being the one outside looking in.

“Hey Hen, can you come in here for a moment? Eric and I want to tell you something.” I had finished unpacking my trunk in my old room, so went out to find them.

“Yeah? What’s up?” They were sitting at the dining table holding hands. If I didn’t know any better, it was as if they were going to share some bad news. But they were all smiles.

Eric turned to mom. “You should tell him.”

“Tell me what?” My stomach did a little flip flop.

“We’re pregnant!” mom exclaimed.

My mouth fell open. I knew conceptually mom wasn’t old. Many women were having kids later in life. And she had me at a relatively young age. “That’s…” I sat down heavily in one of the dining room chairs. “…when did you find out?”

“Maybe about six weeks ago? When I missed my period, I went to my doctor. They ran the tests and told me the good news. Now that I’m about ten weeks along, the doctor said that it was a viable pregnancy.” Her eyes glistened with joy.

It dawned on me that I hadn’t congratulated them. “I’m going to be a big brother.” Then again, I was still in shock. Life really was moving along.

Eric winked, “And Lilly is going to be a big sister.”

Oh god. Would my dual identity screw up my sibling? I looked to mom in panic. I think she got my concern.

“Your little brother or sister will love you regardless,” she assured me.

“I-” My head was in a whirl. As it stopped spinning, I shouted, “Oh! Congratulations! This is amazing news!”

Eric and mom shared a look and laughed. Eric chuckled, “I think Henry had the same reaction as I did.”

Mom nodded with enthusiasm. “He’s definitely your son. At least Lilly has some more awareness.”

Eric gave me a look that simply said, “What can you do?”

I brightened then told him. “Hey! We’ll now be able to introduce the next generation of Victorion fan into the family!”

“You’re right!” He gave me a high five.

Mom hid her face with her hand. “Maybe I should of told Lilly.”

We ignored her. I said, “I can design a baby Victorion outfit.”

“You can do that?” Eric shot up. “And if it’s a girl, there’s an alternate world Victorion series where the main character is a woman. Let me go find the issues so you have something to work with.” Eric left the room leaving mom and I alone.

She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Hen, but I didn’t want to get too hopeful too soon.”

I squeezed back. “It’s fine.” I was thinking about my experience with Karen and how life changing a pregnancy could be. “I’m happy our family is getting bigger.”

“Me too, my love. Me too.” Knowing the reason for it, I could now see how my mom glowed. “So, any news on the girlfriend front?”

“We’re now talking more,” I said. “There was a rough patch, but I think we realized that we hadn’t really become friends.”

Mom’s look became concerned. “Hen, she is safe, isn’t she?”

It took a moment for me to comprehend. “Oh, yeah. She doesn’t sleep around or act out to get attention. In fact, she kind of went after me because of Lilly.”

Her brow wrinkled, then understanding hit. “Oh! Um, I guess that was a surprise.”

“Let’s just say it was complicated. But now, we’re currently just friends. We want to take it slow before calling it anything.” The reassurance was for my benefit as much as it was for mom.

“Hey Heather!” Eric called from somewhere in the house. “Have you seen my large box of-” There was a thump. “Nevermind. I found it!”

“Are you okay?” she called. When no reply came, she looked at me.

“I’ll go check.” Before I left, I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Besides, a woman in your condition shouldn’t move around so much.”

She gave me a swat on the backside as I walked out. “Just for that, you’re out of my will. I’m leaving everything to Lilly,” she paused then added, “…and the baby!”

“Love you too.” I waved as I went to go find Eric.

I spent the rest of the summer helping convert mom’s sewing room into a nursery. Since she wasn’t working as much, she didn’t need all the room. We moved most of the machines she still used into my old bedroom since we could pack away and store most of the stuff from my childhood.

When I left to go back to school, I promised to be there when the baby arrived. Mom thought that if this pregnancy went like her last then I would definitely be around since it’d be during the winter break.

While packing up my old things, I ran across the white rabbit Eric had bought me when we saw Alice in Wonderland. That inspired me to add some theater courses to next semester’s schedule. After all, I could recall wanting to make large costumes just like my Joes.

Upon my return, my friends and I planned to have a get-together. I finally met Andre, who was now officially Max’s boyfriend. He was the sweetest most soft-spoken man I’d ever met. And the dude could cook. In fact, Max looked a bit more filled out than his first year of college.

When Andre had gone to the kitchen area, Max leaned in and whispered, “He’s hung like a horse. Karen thinks, by my description, you’re both the same size.”

I was startled by Max’s words. “Is there anything you two don’t share?”

“Oh, you know how it is… hens.” He waved his hand over his head, “Coop.”

I gave him a blank stare then asked, “What?”

“We talk. Like hens, in a chicken coop? It’s called a turn of phrase or metaphor.” He waved generally towards Karen who was in a conversation with Haley on the other side of the room. “Since Andre and her have that whole music thing going on, I see a lot of her.”

“That music thing you speak of has brought you to tears, my dear.” Andre had reappeared without either of us knowing. 

“Guilty.” Max held up a hand. “The gossip is just a side benefit.”

“Mmm, hmm,” Andre intoned. Turning to me he asked, “So, Henry, what are you or Lilly into?”

I gave him a questioning look. “Uh?”

Andre’s eyes shifted to Max then back to me. “My chicken talks, even when there are no other hens around.”

“No, but there is a great big co-” Max was adding in.

I interrupted by talking over him. “Fashion and theater. I thought I’d just do fashion when I came here, but over the summer I remembered how much I liked making costumes.” The conversation continued like that for the rest of the evening.

At the time, I didn’t get to catch up with Karen and Pam, but figured Lilly would have a chance later.

Later was only a week away. “Wow, a little brother or sister,” Karen marveled. “I can’t imagine my parents having another kid.”

“My sister and I are ten years apart,” Pam piped in.

“You know, you really don’t say much about your sister,” I observed.

Pam shrugged. “Well… I guess those ten years kind of make it hard to relate.”

“Honestly, if I did have a baby brother or sister, I’d probably imagine what it’d be like if it were my kid. Is that weird?” Karen asked.

“Well, you are old enough,” Pam noted.

I smiled at Karen. I think we were both recalling what happened to us last semester. “You’d make a wonderful mother. And mothering a baby sibling sounds like something you couldn’t help but do,” I remarked.

“Aw, Lilly. You’re so sweet. But seriously, how do you feel about it?” She was studying me with intensity.

I sighed and looked down at my breasts. “To be honest. I just don’t want to mess the kid up when it comes to gender.”

“Are you kidding? I think everything else in the world and all the weirdos they’ll meet will screw them up. You’ll probably be one of the few people that makes sense to them. Isn’t that right Pam?” Karen looked over in our friend’s direction. “Pam?”

The little mousy brown-haired lady had gone quiet. It was obvious something Karen had said had triggered her.

So, I defused the situation. “Come on Pam. You’re still not as much as a weirdo as me. Unless you now have a bigger penis?”

That did it. Her eyes went wide. “Lilly! Don’t say that out here!” We were in our usual spot outside in the shade sitting at a picnic table. And just as usual, there was barely anyone around.

“Well, you don’t, do you?” I pressed. “Cause if you do, you’re going to have to show us.”

“No, I don’t. I… am just remembering how I acted when I called you guys freaks.” She ducked her head.

“I thought we all agreed we were all freaks?” Karen queried.

“We did,” Pam admitted. “I just hate the thought that I was, at one point, so closed minded.”

“But now you’re not,” I pointed out reaching and ruffling her hair. “By the way, does Reggie still want my help going out?”

She nodded, running her fingers through her brunette strands, untangling the knots I created. “I think he wants one other guy there.”

“What about Max or Andre?” Karen offered.

Pam shook her head. “I think it’s a safety thing in Reggie’s mind. He wants to draw the least attention as possible. Max is a drama queen and draws attention. And it’d be strange to have Andre there without Max.”

“Well, just have him call me and we’ll schedule something with Henry,” I said.

“Hey. Is it ever strange talking about yourself in the third person?” Karen blurted out.

“Talking about-?” I reiterated. “Oh, you mean about Henry! Actually, it helps cut down on the confusion, if you can believe it.”

“Alex does it all the time. It’s so cute,” Pam put in as an unconscious remark.

Like sharks, Karen and I smelled a fresh conversational meal in the water. We spent the rest of the time trying to pump Pam for more info on her relationship. But she closed up like Fort Knox. Though, I think she was toying with us. When we got tired and looked like we would give up, she’d drop another juicy tidbit. She had become a rather accomplished tease.

I’d like to say that Pam was the only friend I had who enjoyed teasing me, but Haley was worse. Sure, she’d be a great friend helping me learn lines for my acting class, spend time with me going to nearby conventions, but because of how our relationship started, she would always be suggestive. Her words were laced with innuendo. But despite that, we managed to avoid complicating things with sex.

Thanks to our restraint, we found out a lot more about one another. I learned that she was into competitive kite flying, while she learned about the costumes I used to make for my action figures.

“I really am the man in our relationship. I’m into cool outdoor stuff and you played with dolls,” she howled.

“They’re action figures,” I grumbled.

I introduced her to Victorion and the complex web his story entailed while she took me shooting. Coming back from the range, I conceded, “Yep, you are totally butch with that super big gun of yours.”

“It’s not big,” she protested. “And what do you mean I’m butch? Wouldn’t I be more of a fem fatale?”

“Eh, I think Lilly could pull off a fem fatale. You’re definitely butch,” I stated.

She punched me in the arm. “You’re a jerk is what you are.” We laughed and spent our time enjoying each other’s company. Before we knew it, winter break was upon us.

I had received a number of scares where they thought the baby would come early, but true to mom’s prediction, the baby came when she said it would. That meant I was home in time to greet my new sister Margret Ann.


	55. Reflections of an Approaching Future

To say mom and Eric were worn out from the pregnancy would have been an understatement. They were thrilled to have an extra pair of hands to help out. I adored my little baby sister, but she needed a team to care for her.

This was Eric’s first child, so he was overdoing everything. On more than one occasion, mom had to take over or take care of him. It also didn’t help that little baby Margret was a night owl. This is where I provided the most help. I was used to staying up late, so spent many nights rocking the little one.

It was on one of these nights that I had a glimpse in the mirror. I had dressed as Lilly for the day, since mom had declared all men to be useless. She kicked Eric out to do some chores and might have done the same with me if I had gone around dressed as Henry.

On this particular night, the other adults crashed early while I was up with Margret. It was as if there was a young mother with her newborn in her arms. Karen’s words of imagining what it’d be like flashed in my head.

I was gripped with a fierce need to protect the child in my arms. I imagined a father might feel the same way. But would my choice of relationship ever lead to having a kid?

I was terrified of scarring little Margret with my dressing. Wouldn’t it be worse if I had a child that didn’t know if I was mommy or daddy?

A soft contented gurgle came from my arms. Peering down, I saw she had fallen asleep due to my continuous rocking. She left a bit of drool against the nearest breast to her mouth. She must have been instinctively trying to feed, but must have not been that hungry if she was now sleeping.

I gently laid her down in her crib and covered her. I looked wistfully down at my sister’s innocent sleeping form. My vision went blurry for a moment as unshed tears watered my eyes. Wiping them away, I sighed. This was yet another thing I hadn’t properly considered.

I didn’t imagine Haley was the type who wanted kids. Is that something I was willing to give up? Given all the science she spat at me, was that anything it could overcome? I tried to push it from my mind as I returned to my room to get some sleep.

When I wasn’t helping with the baby or running errands, I was working at the machines we had moved to my old room. Now that the baby was here, I wanted to finish the tiny Victorion costumes in time for Christmas. As a way to get the sizing right, I also turned out quite a few other little outfits.

“It’s like I have a sweat shop turning out baby clothes in the other room,” mom commented one day. She had just done the laundry and more than half of what she had washed were pieces for Margret. She held up a jumper. “You know she’ll outgrow most of this in just a few months?”

I shrugged and smiled. “Then I’ll just make her more.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “I suppose if Henry had his action figures, then Lilly’s going to treat her baby sister as the doll she never had.” She did air quotes when saying, “action figures.” It made me happy she had been paying attention back then.

I snapped left and right, doing my best Max impersonation. “You are never too young to look fabulous!”

“Oh god,” mom mimicked gagging. “You’re like a bad reality show.”

“Dirty diaper has been defeated!” Eric exclaimed from the other room. This was accompanied by a happy baby giggle.

Mom and I shared a look and laughed. “I swear, ever since the baby moved in, that man has regressed in age.” Mom shook her head still smiling.

“Hey Heather? Where are the baby’s pants?” Eric sounded frantic.

“I just finished washing them,” she yelled in his direction. Then she eyeballed me. “Of course, you could just ask Lilly to make more.”

I put my hands on my hips and gave her a faux shocked expression. 

Eric appeared in the doorway, white powder was liberally coating his shirt. “Need some pants,” he panted. Mom held some out and he came to grab them.

“What’s all over you?” mom asked.

Eric looked down following her gaze. “Oh, just a bit of baby powder.”

“Were you changing the baby’s diaper or your own?” she mocked.

He gave her a goofy grin. “Would mama like to check?” 

“Ew!” I exclaimed. I put my hands over my ears. “I don’t want to hear this.” I retreated to my bedroom, not able to make out their replies.

Thanks to all the practice, and Margret’s small size, I managed to finish the Victorion outfit before the holiday. It was sort of a gift for mom and Eric as well.

“I figure part of my gift to you guys was making all the baby clothes early, but I wanted to save something special for this day,” I announced. I set a big box between mom and Eric. Mom was nursing Margret, so she let Eric open the box.

“Um, that’s pretty big Hen,” mom observed.

“Yeah…well…” I hedged.

“Holy moly! How many outfits are there in here?” Eric was pulling out suit after suit. “They’re all different sizes. Oh, and they’re the different versions of…” That’s when it hit him. “…I totally forgot about this!” He held up one of the smallest pieces to show mom and announced, “It’s Victorion!”

Mom looked at me. “But why so many, Hen?”

“Well, I’ll be off at school. And you said she’d grow out of stuff quick. So, I sort of prepared ahead of time.” I watched as Eric laid out the costumes.

“I think she’ll be prepared until kindergarten from the looks of it,” mom observed. “Honey, what are you doing?”

Eric was rubbing one of the suits against his face. “It’s so soft,” he exclaimed. He then pressed the same piece to mom’s cheek.

Her eyes went wide. “Wow! That does feel nice.”

I cleared my throat. “I sort of made play versions and night time pajama versions.”

Mom gave me a funny look. “Maybe putting the sewing machines in your room was a bad idea.”

“Or maybe it was the best idea ever!” Eric countered.

“Dear? Can you grab Hen’s gift?” mom asked Eric. Turning to me, she apologized, “Sorry, with the baby and everything we didn’t have time to wrap it.”

“That’s okay.” I rubbed the back of my head. “In fact, I wasn’t expecting anything to be honest.”

“Nonsense!” Eric boomed as he placed an electronics box on my lap. “Your mother let me do the shopping, so I picked out something that both you and Lilly could use.”

My mouth went slack at a high-end tablet. It boasted to be the ultimate device for the professional artist. “Uh, wow!” I was stunned.

“Yeah!” Eric enthused. “It has an advanced stylist that pairs with one of the programs I found so that you can trace a hand drawing and it’ll go right to the tablet.” 

I’d like to say I made more unforgettable memories with my family during that break, but I was sort of taken with my new gift. My folks didn’t seem to mind. They had caught up on quite a bit of sleep during the first couple of weeks. And frankly, I think mom was happy not to have a constant stream of clothes for Margret pouring out of my room.

As the break ended and I was preparing to head back to the college, one comment from mom shook me to the core. “Oh, Hen. I keep forgetting to tell you.” Mom was standing in the doorway watching as I closed my trunk.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Nancy. You know, Sam’s mom? She says that Sam has been asking about you.” Mom kept talking, but I couldn’t hear her anymore.

I cavalcade of memories ran through my head. It had been nearly a year and a half since I had seen Sam. Had I betrayed her by moving on? For that matter, had I moved on? Hearing her name felt like a raw wound I had successfully avoided paying any attention to.

“Earth to Hen,” mom intoned. “Hey, you okay? You seem pale?”

I shook it off. “I’m okay. It just hit me that I’ll be away for quite a bit of Margret’s earliest years.” That wasn’t the whole truth, but it was a good enough explanation.

“Oh Hen,” Mom moved into the room and gave me a hug. “You’ll visit. And she’ll know that she has a big brother and big sister that loves her.”

I returned the embrace. “Thanks mom.”

Then Eric popped in the doorway with the baby in her full costume. In a tiny voice, Eric spoke for the baby. “Never fear citizens! Baby Victorion is here! Now mama, I’m ready to dispense with the affections!”

“Of course you are!” mom gushed taking the baby from Eric giving her loud sloppy kisses.

Eric sighed as the two left us behind. “We should have known,” he muttered.

“Known what?” I gave him a questioning look.

“Victorion always gets the girl.” He winked as I laughed. He then nodded to the closed trunk. “Need any help loading that?”

“Sure.” Accepting the offered help, we got it into my car.

Saying my goodbyes, I watched my family grow small in my rear-view mirror. This left me with plenty of time to myself on the drive back to school. I knew my future lay in front of me. But I also knew it probably wouldn’t look anything like the reflection of mom, Eric and Margret, I left behind me.


	56. Hitting the Limits

Returning to my normal life was harder than expected. Those words from mom that Sam was asking about me haunted every step I took. I tried to busy myself with school work. To my shock, I found out that when you push yourself and don’t put things off, you end up having more free time rather than less.

So, I tried to spend more time with my friends. Problem was, Pam was totally captivated with Reggie and Alex, and they with her. I reminded them that I was available to help Reggie go out.

“We know,” Pam assured me. “Alex and I are working on him. It’ll just take time.”

So, I tried hanging out with Karen. Sadly, our friendship was strained. She never said it outright, but she’d often have alternate plans, which I wasn’t a part of.

I did see a good deal of Max and Andre. Though, they were still in a honeymoon stage. Many times, I felt like a third wheel, when they even noticed I was around.

That left Haley. I honestly wanted to spend time with her, but it was as if the ghost of Sam was the most present when I spent time with her.

“Hey buddy? How’s the playwriting going?” I had taken a playwriting class this semester, I could feel Haley’s hair brush against the back of my neck as she leaned over to see what I was writing.

“She smells nice,” the ghost of Sam pointed out.

I brushed her hair away. “I’m working on an adaptation of a Victorion comic into a play. The professor wanted us to take something from another medium and see how we envisioned it on stage.”

Haley giggled. “You are such a little nerd. You can go on and on about this super hero of yours.” She started rubbing my neck and shoulders.

“Uh oh. Sounds like she’s not a fan,” my imaginary Sam sung.

“Wow, you’re tense,” Haley noticed.

“Can you just not, right now!” I snapped pushing her hands away.

She took a step back. “Okay?”

The fake Sam smirked. “That’s right bitch. Hands off the merchandise.”

I spun in my chair. “Haley… I’m sorry. I just…” What was the issue with me? “…it’s my baby sister.”

Haley went ashen. “There’s something wrong with her? Maybe, I can pull some strings.” She pulled out her phone.

“No!” I reached and lowered her hands and phone. “She’s fine. I’m just worried about my relationship with her.”

“Good save,” the imposter Sam snarked.

Haley was confused for a moment. “But she’s a baby? It’s really hard to mess that type of relationship up.”

“I know, I know. It’s later down the line when she gets older.” I shoved fingers through my hair. “Am I big brother Henry or big sister Lilly?”

She pursed her lips and gave me a slow nod. “Have you spoken with your parents about this?”

“Yes…” I admitted but trailed off.

“And?” she pressed.

I blew out a breath. “Mom told me not to worry.”

Haley put her phone away then crossed her arms. “What about your dad?”

“You mean Eric?” I guess he was in that position in my life now. “He seems pretty chill about it too.”

Haley spread her arms palms up. “Then, what are you worried about?”

“You’re worried that Aunty Sam is going to tell her that the first time you got the chance to forget the girl you loved, you banged the first person that spread their legs for you.” The vicious mental words from the Sam I made up weren’t real, but they gave voice to my darkest thoughts.

Haley stepped forward and put her hands on my shoulders. Bending forward, she looked into my eyes. “It’ll be okay. Things will work out. We, as humans, are very flexible mentally, in our formative years.”

“I just bet you want to get flexible,” growled that Sam voice.

I lowered my head. I didn’t want to betray what those imagined words would look like in my eyes. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Of course I am. Remember, I’m a genius.” She patted me on the head. “How about I leave you to your work and we’ll hang out later?”

“Yeah sure,” I mumbled.

“So that’s the evil Haley? She’s pretty for an evil scientist,” the ghost observed.

I grit my teeth now that Haley left the room. “You’re not real,” I said to the empty room.

“Oh, is that why used my name in the script you’re adapting?”

The non-sequitur caught me off guard. “What?” Looking down at my tablet, I had indeed started using Sam’s name for one of the characters.

As I changed the name, I imagined one parting question. “Tell me Henry. Did you even think of me when you fucked her?”

I pushed the tablet away and buried my face in my hands. Why was my brain doing this to me? Hell, the script I was working on was due at the end of the semester and it wasn’t even time for spring break.

It is safe to say, Haley realized something was wrong with me. We had a few other conversations where she probed. I didn’t always have a good excuse for freaking out like I did with the concerns for my sister. This meant I’d sort of snap irrationally at her for some small little thing.

Grade-wise, I was doing spectacular work. Personally, I was an emotional wreck. It finally came to a head as I was getting off the phone with Pam. It was a couple weeks before the end of the semester.

“So, after finals, he promised to go out!” Pam enthused over the phone.

“Great! Then I’ll meet you guys over at Reggie and Alex’s place. Just send me a text with the date and time,” I replied.

“Will do,” Pam sang as she hung up.

“So, what’s up?” Haley was laying on my bed, flipping through one of the comics I had left out.

Every time Haley inquired about me these days, my inner Sam would make an appearance. And, I don’t know. I just lost it. “Why are you always in my business!” I yelled.

She went stalk still. Setting the book down, she turned on the bed so she could put her feet on the ground. In a stern, but calm voice, she asked, “Henry, what’s wrong?”

I threw up my hands. “You’re always asking questions! I-”

She cut me off. “No! Henry what is really wrong?”

“Oh, she’s bossy today,” my inner Sam said.

I was gasping for air. I was feeling dizzy so stumbled towards a chair and fell into it. Before I knew it, I was crying. It was a shock to feel Haley’s hand on my arm. She had come over and was kneeling next to me.

“Henry, you’re giving off signs of having a panic attack,” she stated. “I want you to know you are safe and nobody is threatening you.”

I stabbed a finger at my head. “I’m attacking me,” I sobbed.

To her credit, Haley stayed quiet. This left my imaginary ex-girlfriend with nothing to work with. In drips and drabs, I explained what I had been feeling.

When it was apparent, I had nothing left to say, she finally spoke. “You are finally feeling the effects of having unresolved issues. Have you thought about getting in touch with Sam?”

I shook my head.

“Is it because you feel you’ve betrayed her in some way?” Haley’s voice reminded me of that therapist I had all those years ago.

“Damn right he’s betrayed me!” yelled my delusion.

I nodded in the affirmative to Haley’s question.

“Okay.” Haley breathed. “Since it seems like I’m the trigger for these reactions, I think, for the time being, I’ll need to give you a bit more space.” I opened my mouth to protest, but she quieted me. “I didn’t say I’m out of your life. I just said a little more space. When you go home this summer, do you think you can get in touch with Sam?”

I hesitated. “I scheduled to have summer classes this year.”

“Ah, you were afraid to go back.” She put no feeling in those words.

I wanted to act as if it was an attack, but seeing her own pain took the wind out of my sails. “Yeah. Up until now I didn’t think Sam even thought about me. But when mom said she had asked…”

“Your past came back with a fury,” she finished for me. “Okay then. Since this year you seem to love homework, at some point you’ll need to get in touch with Sam.”

“But…” I was terrified at this suggestion.

“You can’t move forward if you don’t. Besides, if we’re going to move past being friends, you will need to take this step.” She stood straightening out her jeans. “You don’t have to do it today or tomorrow, but I want you to promise me you’ll do it soon.”

“I bet it’s because she wants to fuck you again,” spat that wicked voice.

Haley went to the door, opened it, and was about to step out when she turned and said, “Cause damn it. I’m getting horny.” She winked, blew a kiss and was gone.

I sat there in shock. Even my inner evil Sam had nothing to say.


	57. Reunion

There was always a brief break when the semester ended and before the summer classes started up. I took this opportunity to catch up on my pop culture. You know, anything I could do to avoid facing what Haley asked me to do. It was extremely quiet in the dorms, since most of the residents had left for the summer.

I had decided to pick up some food for a binge session. I was dressed like Lilly that day. I went to my nearby grocery store and was examining the produce when someone bumped into me. “Sorry,” I mumbled, shifting my basket out of the way. For whatever reason, I didn’t even look at the person.

The odd thing was that I went to the chip aisle and it happened again. “Sorry my fault,” I automatically responded. This time I did glance and noted it was a girl of my own age. She probably was distracted on her phone, so went about choosing some chips.

Next, I headed for the bakery department. While there I got bumped again. Looking, I noticed it was the same girl. “Excuse me,” I called out. I’m not a very confrontational person, but this oblivious girl was going to hurt someone.

She spun to face me. This gave me a good view of her basket, which was completely empty. What was going on? I was prepared to stare her down when my mind froze. I was looking at someone I knew.

“Hi Lilly. Surprise!” She wore a conservative skirt in black and cream-colored top. Her hair was nearly black while her skin was a pale ivory. By the time I saw her blue eyes, I knew this was Sam.

She had definitely filled out. She had a much more refined presence. Her makeup was understated while her jewelry was simple, but expensive looking. My mouth just hung open.

She reached out and moved my mouth and spoke for me. “Hello Sam. I’m happy to see you, especially with your birthday so close.” Her voice for me sounded a lot like a British man for some reason.

“I’m not British,” my words were squished since she still held my chin.

“Sorry.” She let me go and held her arms open. “Well?”

I grabbed her in a fierce hug. “Sam! What are you doing here?”

“Being crushed,” she said in a strangled rasp.

“Sorry.” I released her.

“I’m here to see you.” My heart fell. Had she been faithful all this time? She continued, “I know we broke up and saw other people in the meantime. But none of them were you.”

A mixture of relief and guilt blended in my chest. I didn’t cheat on her, but at the same time, could I explain my relationship with Haley? “Yeah, I know the feeling.” It was strange getting right into a serious conversation in the grocery store. “Do you want to come back to my place?” I grabbed the first cake I saw. “I’ll have cake for your birthday!”

Sam examined the cake. “That says happy graduation.”

“What’s a birthday but a graduation from one year to the next?” I aimed a cheesy smile at her. Laughing, she agreed. So, I paid and we walked back to my room.

Along the way, she admitted to seeing me leave my dorm room where she had planned to surprise me, but then stalked me into the grocery store. She wanted the encounter to look natural, but I kept ignoring her bumping into me. “I was afraid I might have to knock you down before you would do anything.”

We made it to my place and loaded the food into my small fridge. “I was going to watch a whole series on Netflix.” It had been awesome to discover that the campus had internet in all the rooms and my television had a built-in player for streaming services. When Sam didn’t reply, I turned to see if anything was wrong. In truth, I didn’t know what to say to her. And if she sensed that, what would I do then?

She was just standing there fixated on my bed. It seemed as though she was hyperventilating. “Sam? Are you okay?” I moved closer.

Her eyes were dilated. She whispered, “I thought I could wait.”

“Wait for what?” She was making me very concerned.

Reaching out, she took hold of my right hand. Guiding it under her skirt, she pressed it against the gusset of her panties. They were soaked. “Can we?” There was pleading in her expression as she shifted her focus between me and my bed.

Mentally, I should have told her no, but this was Sam. The one thing we never did while growing up was to have sex. It had always been an elusive “what if” moment for me. Now the reality was dripping into my open hand.

We managed to make it to the bed, but we only lost our panties. Fortunately, I also was wearing a skirt. We fumbled around for a moment until I was on top. Our lips devoured one another as I slid inside of her.

Her heat was scalding. And as soon as I entered her fully, she screamed and convulsed. I had never seen an orgasm so quick.

I rocked my hips against her and to my amazement the orgasm doubled back on her. This was intriguing. I worked out a rhythm that kept her climaxes coming over and over again.

“Shit! Fuck! Yes!” she moaned. Her hands ripped wildly at anything they could touch. Unfortunately, our outfits became the casualties to this onslaught.

Despite this, I didn’t let up. By now, I knew how to time each thrust. I even experimented by giving her small breaks where I pumped myself fast and hard. This had the result of increasing the intensity of release.

After a while she was moaning, “Please! Damn! Oh! Please!” By this time, even her head was flailing and I had obtained a scratch or two.

I needed to put her out of her misery. So, I leaned forward, crushing my fake breasts against her real ones and said in a hushed urgent tone, “Do you like my tits?”

At this, her eyes rolled back and her body bridged upward. She had stopped breathing while she was possessed by the ultimate form of passion. When it reached its crest, she collapsed lifeless onto the bed. Thankfully, she started breathing again.

It was strange. I hadn’t had an orgasm of my own, but I was feeling immense satisfaction at that moment. I pulled out and removed my torn clothing including my bra and fake breasts, then snuggled back in bed with her.

It took her nearly ten minutes to come to. As she blinked her eyes open, she studied me. “Hey Henry,” she said weakly.

“Hey,” I replied.

“You didn’t cum,” she noted.

I shook my head. “Good thing to. I wasn’t wearing a condom.” My experience with Karen gave me a bit more presence of mind.

Her eyes went wide. “I totally forgot. How’d you stop?”

I chuckled, “I kind of got caught up in seeing how many times you could cum in a row.”

Her gaze dropped to my cock. “It’s still hard.”

“Yeah,” I smiled.

“Let me fix that.” Getting up, she stripped the remains of her own clothes then went to grab something from her purse. She pulled out a strand of foil square packets, though she had a worried expression on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She held out the prophylactics. “Um, in the past I always needed them to wear something textured to have any hope of getting me to orgasm once.” She pointed accusingly at my dick. “That thing got me there just from getting inside me. I’m not sure I can handle it being studded.”

That made me smug. “Well, there’s one way to find out.” I then flexed so that my penis bobbed. She gulped.

With Haley on birth control and not using one with Karen that one time, I hadn’t really used any other form of protection. So, the condom was a new sensation for me. I found it quite provocative watching Sam roll it down my length for me.

When I made no move and just lay there on my back, she gave me a withering glare. “You’re going to make me do it to myself, aren’t you?”

I twitched my shoulders. “I figure you need a fighting chance.”

She stuck her tongue out at me, but then gave my cock a wary look. “Okay, here goes, oh! Oh my god! Oh, Henry you’re so fucking huge!” I think she might have taken me in a little too fast. I watched as she sat, still panting, on top of me. When she looked calm, she experimentally shifted. “Fuck! Oh god! I’m not sure I can do this.”

“You talk a lot,” I observed.

She flashed me a worried glance. “Do you not like that?”

“Oh, it’s super-hot!” I admitted.

She raised an eyebrow. “Really? In that case, do you like stretching out my tiny little pussy?”

“Mmm hmm,” I nodded vigorously.

“And what about my tits?” She thrust her chest forward.

I reached out and filled my hands with them. They were perfect. It was as if they were made for me. “They’re exquisite.”

This gave her enough distraction to move without being overwhelmed. “Then squeeze those nipples. Pinch them while I clench around this big dick of yours.”

Something in her words set me off. Grunting, I grabbed her hips and thrust with abandon into her. In that frantic exchange, we each found release.

Needless to say, we didn’t go far during the next few days. We did, however, manage to pace ourselves better. And during our food breaks, we even managed to talk to one another.

Turns out, Sam wanted to transfer schools. She had rushed through all her major’s course work and only needed to do general education classwork, which she felt could be done anywhere. She had been preparing for a fight with her parents about it, but the marketing training paid off big time.

She led with how much the cost savings alone would be and the business side of her parents kicked in and they agreed with her. Besides, this school was her parents’ alma mater, so they had a soft spot for it.

She had even gotten a small apartment just off campus, which she wrote down the address for. She then gave me a bit of a shock.

“It’s probably a good thing you didn’t go home for the holidays,” she said.

“Why?” I had a mouth full of salad to talk around.

“Well, our parents became closer friends. And it got spilled that Lilly and Henry were the same person to my dad.” She was fiddling with her own meal watching the fork tumble the vegetables around.

“What!” I choked. I could actually imagine how the conversation might have turned to me. With Margret in the home, kids had to be on the brain. And dealing with a newborn didn’t leave much room for thinking straight.

“I think your parents didn’t want to scare you. I think they’ve worked really hard to make him see reason.” She smirked. “It took mom reminding him about the program they started to help people with gender issues.” She then snorted.

“What’s funny about that?” I found her sense of humor disconcerting.

“Oh, before I came up here, he told me, ‘If he plans to marry you, he needs to ask for my permission.’” She set her fork down and rested her head in her hand gazing at me. “Then he said, ‘And if you want to make an honest woman out of her, go ask her parents for permission.’”

This time the salad went down the wrong way and I choked. Coughing and laughing, I gasped, “He really said that?”

“Yeah. With daddy, once you’re a princess in his eyes, you’re always a princess. Plus, there’s now baby princess Margret that they put in his arms. He didn’t really have a chance to get upset.” She went back to her food.

I then asked her a very personal question. “Sam? What do you think about me as Henry and Lilly?” It was a loaded question, but important to ask. It was, after all, the obstacle I kept running into with any relationship I tried to start. Karen wasn’t quite up for it and Haley wanted to take it farther than I was mentally prepared for.

To my surprise, she asked a question in return. “Do you remember one of the first times you dressed up and I told you I had a secret?”

I considered for a moment. “Yes? I can’t recall what that secret was though.”

“That’s because I never had a chance to tell you.” She took a moment to take a long drink from her glass. The anticipation made me tingle. “I got wet knowing that the girl in front of me was actually a boy. It still does, if I’m going to be honest. Plus, I love the variety.”

“So, you like me as Henry and Lilly?” I needed to be certain.

“Sure, it’s like twice the amount to love.” I think we both noticed that she said “love” in reference to me at the same time. When I didn’t say anything, she said, “I’m sorry Henry. I know it’s been a while and you may not feel the same way… I just needed you to know.”

“It’s not that. I do feel the same about you,” I replied. “It’s just that I’m in a weird place right now.” I then explained the whole situation with Haley and what transpired with Karen.

When I finished, she simply said, “Oh. What have you decided?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea. Up until now, I didn’t think I had many options. Then you showed up and I’m torn.”

“I have terrible timing, don’t I?” She was glum and slumped in her chair.

“No, I think you have perfect timing. I just need to make up my mind. Hell, even Haley said I should talk to you,” I reasoned. “I was just afraid.”

Her eyes grew watery. “I don’t want you to ever be afraid of me.”

I shrank. “I know. But it’s not me I’m afraid for… I just don’t want to hurt you.” Silence stretched between us.

“I should go, shouldn’t I?” she asked.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I admitted.

She shook her head. “No, that would just influence your choice. And it may not happen right away, or even ten years down the line, but you might wonder what would have been, if you chose the other person. I couldn’t live with myself if I was responsible for that resentment.” She gave a guilty look at my bed which was still messy from our love making. “Besides, I kind of feel like I cheated.”

“I wouldn’t-” She put a finger to my mouth stopping the rest of my sentence.

“When will you see Haley again?” she queried.

I looked at the calendar on my wall. “Honestly? Whenever I’m ready to talk.”

“And were you planning to give her an answer?” she asked.

I nodded. “That was the idea.”

“Then that settles it. You need time to think. Whatever you choose, you can let that girl know.” Sam was so stoic. She betrayed no emotion while speaking.

I, on the other hand, burst into tears. “I’m not sure I could bear hurting you Sam,” I wailed.

“I know.” A solitary tear streaked down her cheek. “But you’ve got an opportunity before you that I can’t give you. Personally, I like you the way you are, but you have to be true to who you are. And it’s not like I won’t be a part of your life. After all, you have always been my best girlfriend.” She winked.

When she left, our kiss was chaste, which was a massive contrast to our days of intense lovemaking. I stayed in my doorway, watching her until she left the hallway. I then faced the window and watched as she exited the building, got into her car, and drove off. My heart ached. I glanced over at Haley’s door, imagining her standing there.

Sam was my past, but also my first love. We had a history together of romance as well as deep friendship. Our lives were so intertwined.

Haley, on the other hand, was my present. She was adventure and new opportunities. She could literally hand me a new world where I didn’t need a past.

Either way, I needed to do some serious thinking. I wanted them both, but that would only lead to losing them both. This was a turning point, if ever there was one. And I needed to find which would be my future.


	58. Finding Me

I knocked on Reggie and Alex’s door. When it opened, I was greeted with a smiling Pam.

“Oh, hey Henry. You’re right on time. Please come in.” She stood to one side, letting me pass.

Entering their place, I spied Alex on the couch. “Hey Alex! Where’s Reggie?”

“Hi other boyfriend! Reggie is finishing getting ready,” she chirped.

I looked to Pam for an explanation. “Other boyfriend?” I asked.

Pam avoided my eyes and busily straightened things on a nearby shelf. She was trying to play it cool, but I could hear the strain in her voice. “Ah, yeah. Didn’t I tell you? Since we both want to be there for Reggie, we thought we’d switch off. That way, it’d just look like a double date.”

“Ah, so I’m the stand-in boyfriend,” my tone was dry.

Pam looked worried. This time she did make eye contact. She was so sad and nervous. It was like she was channeling a frightened puppy. “You’re not mad, are you?”

I kept up the stern look as long as I could. “Maybe you just want another look at what’s in my pants?” I knew it was such an asshole thing to say, but I couldn’t help tease her.

Pam went beet red. When she spoke, her words came out in a slight studder, “I-I-did-didn’t think of i-it like that.”

“But I wouldn’t mind touching it!” Alex’s bright enthusiasm was unmistakable.

“Uh?” I turned to face Alex. Her hands were reaching out grasping at empty air. I was fortunate she hadn’t gotten up.

Pam snickered, “Well, be careful what you offer oh, Casanova.”

I was taking a small step away from where Alex sat when Reggie entered the room. “Did I just hear someone talk about me?”

With a squeal, Pam rushed into his arms and planted a kiss on him. In response, Reggie wrapped her in a hug and deepened the kiss.

“Hey! No fair!” Alex whined.

Pam pulled away. “Very well,” she muttered. Moving to Alex, she gave her a similar treatment.

I took that moment to find something very interesting to look at elsewhere. So, I didn’t see Reggie walk up next to me. “Sorry about that, man,” he apologized. “Thanks again for doing this.”

I cleared my throat and nodded my head in the direction of the girls. “I now have an idea why you guys couldn’t make it outside until now.”

Reggie was embarrassed and shuffled his feet. “Yeah, uh, you see…”

I cut him off. “Dude, right now, I think you are a freakin’ stud.” I adjusted my pants.

He chuckled. “Heh, I guess I am.”

“Totally.” I decided to change the subject, since the ladies hadn’t finished. “So, Pam sort of explained I was a dummy date?”

Reggie brushed a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I figured a little too much machismo from me might bring the wrong attention.”

I could imagine that situation. Hell, Lilly and Haley had to fend off guys when we went out. “Sounds wise. So, what’s the game plan?”

Reggie shrugged, “Figured we do some mini golf, maybe hit a movie, and then finish with dinner?”

“Cool.” We were now awkwardly standing by the door. “Soooo….” Didn’t the girls need to breathe?

“Ladies!” Reggie’s words were sharp with an edge of authority.

A brief scamper and Pam appeared by Reggie’s side. She had a definite flush to her cheeks. “Sorry, sorry, we’re ready. Oh, and Henry? You’ll start with Alex.”

I opened the door and stepped out so that Reggie or Alex could lock up. I was followed by Pam and Reggie, letting Alex take up the rear. I waited at the doorway for my faux date as the other two started down the hallway.

Before they got too far, Pam said over her shoulder, “Oh, Henry? Just to warn you, Alex is a little handsy.” For emphasis, it was that moment I felt a hand squeeze my backside.

I skipped forward in surprise and spun to face Alex. “Alex!” I yelped.

With her bright colorful outfit and wild dyed hairdo, her grin felt a bit more on the insane or delirious side of the mental fence. “You look real good today, other boyfriend.” She then licked her lips nice and slow.

“Uh…” I spun my head to the other two for help, but they were already too far down the hallway to do any good. My response was high and thin in pitch, “You can just call me Henry. You know that, right?”

“Okay, Henry,” she said my name as if she was drinking warm hot chocolate. The husky sultriness of her purring my name sent shivers up and down my spine.

“We better catch up with the others,” I murmured as I backed away.

Her eyes popped wide. “You’re right!” The cheerful Alex was back. She rushed forward, grabbed my hand and, at dead sprint, dragged me behind her.

The pseudo date was interesting. When Alex was by my side, I was under a constant barrage of pinches and gropes. Under other circumstances, I might have enjoyed it? But I already had too many girl issues to add more to my list.

When Pam was by my side, I had the breathing room to let my mind wander. I knew I was currently helping out a threesome on a date, but I couldn’t imagine that as a solution with Haley or Sam. For one, I think each had distinct ideas about me for the future and they didn’t line up.

I must have been too busy fending off Alex to see Pam talk about me to Reggie. However, I found out that had been the case as we were walking back to their place after dinner.

“Hey man,” Reggie began. “Pam says you’ve been preoccupied this whole day? What’s up?”

Alex had taken a fancy to something she had seen off the side of the path and had asked Pam to help her. This gave Reggie and I the space we needed to have this talk.

I hung my head. “It’s girl issues.”

“Oh?” Reggie’s eyebrows went up. When I didn’t offer any more information, he stated, “Well, dating two myself and, technically being one genetically, I might be a bit of an expert.” He used his chin to indicate a nearby bench. “Let’s sit and talk.”

I followed his lead and spilled the short version to him. “So you see, Sam is like my past and accepts what I am. But Haley and I have come a long way. And she wants to be the one that gives me what I might want in the future?”

“Do you know what that is?” His question was blunt and to the point.

I shrugged. “Not exactly. I mean, I’ve now thought about it if things were different.” I indicated my body. “And I haven’t even wrapped my head around the possibility of kids. I mean I got freaked out as hell when I might have gotten Karen pregnant. But I was also super sad when I found out she wasn’t.”

Reggie bounced his head in understanding. His arms were crossed. “And trying?” He moved his head in the direction of his two girlfriends.

I almost laughed. “I don’t think they’re the sharing type. Besides, when I called you a stud, I meant it. I don’t have the balls for trying to deal with two women.”

Air hissed out of him in a muted laugh. “Yeah, I keep forgetting some guys are big pussies.”

This did make me snort. “That’s rich.” 

We stayed quiet for a moment, letting the evening sounds waft around us. We could make out the distant giggles of our dates off in the distance. Finally, Reggie broke the silence.

“Close your eyes,” he ordered.

“Um, okay?” I followed his direction.

“Who do you love?” The question was simple and uncomplicated. 

And like magic, I saw her.

Seeing my grin, Reggie asked, “So you know what to do now?” As before, Reggie was calm and collected.

“Yeah,” I answered him. Then I scrutinized him with a critical eye. “When did you get to be so wise?”

He uncrossed his arms and shrugged. “Eh, I just have had more time to reflect than others, I guess.”

I slapped my thighs and got up. Extended a fist to him which he bumped. “I got to go tell the woman I love that she’s the one. Say goodbye to the girls for me.”

“You’re not staying?” he asked.

“What? And have Alex pull me into some weird sex thing?” I scoffed. “That’s all you my brother.”

He chuckled and stood. Then without warning gave me a hug and several slaps on the back. Sighing, he admitted, “Yeah, it’s probably going to get real freaky tonight.”

I held up my hands and began backing away. “Dude, we’re not girls. You only share stuff like that with bros if you don’t care about the girl, or girls in your case.”

“Noted,” he smirked.

And that’s how I left my friend.

From behind, I heard Reggie shout, “What did you decide?”

I waved one arm overhead. “I’ve decided to embrace my future and the girl I saw when you asked me that question. I’ll see you guys later.”

As I made my way to her, my mind played back over my life. This was a big step. Either relationship I chose would have some version of Lilly. I wasn’t only finding the woman of my dreams, but also finding out what type of girl I was.

My heart thudded with every step, drawing me closer. Almost by magi,c I found myself in front of her door. I reached out and knocked. As she opened the door, I looked at her and smiled. Yes, I found her.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I began writing this story, I had a few sexy scenes in mind. However, I realized the things that made them so steamy was all the context surrounding them in my head. So, I refocused and thought about making a main character who grew into their particular gender identity.
> 
> I decided on having a gender fluid character early on, since that is something not often portrayed and something that is personal to me. Additionally, I fixed their sexual orientation to express the fact that one’s gender does not always determine one’s sexuality.
> 
> I know there are a lot of topics I didn’t address in this story. Some trivial and some very serious. The truth is, I wanted to keep the focus on self-discovery and keep things in a positive upbeat light. So much erotica is steeped in the dark guilty shadows that I wanted not to wallow in that style.
> 
> Additionally, I found shorter forms of erotica skipped over crucial character development. The characters act as though a naughty switch gets turned on and the whole plot is sabotaged by its more graphic scenes.
> 
> For me personally, sex is an expression. Many times, it is love, but it can be lust, or even an opening up to one another. So, I hope I did a decent job with each of those moments.
> 
> Additionally, when I posted up my first draft of this, uh novel, I received some wonderful feedback. It was brought to my attention that the characters that appeared later in Henry/Lilly’s life barely had any time to grow and become fully fleshed out. I had been too close to the writing to see this, but once it was pointed out, I had to do something about it. After some significant alterations, I found the new version much more satisfying!
> 
> Finally, you may notice I never said which girl Henry/Lilly went with. That is, of course, by design. I know many people would easily choose one over the other. I myself have a preference. But that’s where it needed to end. I didn’t want this to become a message saying “this is right” and “this is wrong.” Each person must answer that for themselves. So, this was the best way to say this story validates you, no matter how you choose.
> 
> Also, I am considering self-publishing this story. Please let me know in your comments if this is something I should pursue.
> 
> Much love, Lola Bear.


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